


In Death, Life

by TeaFourTwo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Elements of Shintoism and Buddhism, Fix-It, Friendship, Fuuinjutsu, Haruno Sakura-centric, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Mute Sakura, Philosophical nonsense sometimes, Shinigami, Spirits, Strong Female Characters, Supernatural Elements, Uzumaki clans mask storage temple, kami - Freeform, life and death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-07-10 08:52:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 136,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15945953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaFourTwo/pseuds/TeaFourTwo
Summary: Previously titled:Shindaréba, koso ikitaréOnly by reason of having died does one enter into life.“Sakura. Just Sakura That's how they’d introduced her. She knew it was true, she was no longer a Haruno after all, but it didn’t stop the words from feeling like a dull knife in her side."Or, Sakura goes to the Uchiha compound the night of the massacre and comes away an orphan with more questions than answers. What follows is a whirlwind of seals, friendships, myths, and self-discovery. What secrets did her family hide from her? And does she really want to know the answer?





	1. Death

**Author's Note:**

> So...I recently got sucked back into the Naruto fandom by all the wonderful Sakura-centric fics out there and have been inspired. I have another multi fic story I should be working on in a different fandom but...I just have to get this story down on digital paper. I know, so original, I'm sure you've never heard that before.

_Shindaréba, koso ikitaré_

Only by reason of having died does one enter into life.

-

On the sun warmed floor of a flower shop on the edge of the civilian and the shinobi districts, two girls sat giggling and conspiring knee to knee. Some ways away, at the front of the shop, a sharp-eyed woman arranged bouquets of wildly diverse and beautiful flowers, and valiantly played ignorant when several of those flowers went missing. 

The woman hid a smile in an array of daisies as, from the corner of her eye, she saw a small hand reached for a bunch of alstroemeria that sat on the bench beside her. A fit of hushed giggles and the pattering of bare feet followed, and she couldn’t help but giggle herself.

It was a beautiful summer day, a day that held no shadows besides the ones cast by fluffy innocent clouds wishing to give some shade to sun weary passerby's. In the shade of one such cloud two girls tumbled over themselves as they ran from the flower shop up the grassy hill behind it. In a mess of blonde and pink hair, covered in stollen flowers of all colors, the two girls laughed loudly and unabashedly.

“So loud…” A voice sighed from behind them. “Troublesome…”

Immediately the pink haired girl quieted with a blush, and her friend scowled as she glared over her shoulder.

 _Shannnaro!_ Inner Sakura crowed while outwardly the little girl blushed shyly. _Who’s he calling loud??_

With a huff, Ino pulled some grass up from beside her and tossed it at the boy laying lazily watching the sky.

“If we’re so loud Shika, then go somewhere else!” She huffed, “This is _my_ back yard after all…”

“Ino~” The boy sputtered as he turned to brush the grass from his face. For a moment Ino looked smug, but when he otherwise didn’t bother to move from his position she pouted, and he soon settled back into a lazy sprawl. “It’s not my fault your place is the only place my mom won’t bother me about training…”

“Well, if you’re gonna take advantage of my house to escape your mom, then the least you can do it help me and Sakura make flower crowns!” With a smile, Ino grabbed a long-stemmed aster flower and proceeded to lean over and tickle the boys' exposed stomach with it.

Quickly, the boy rolled a few feet away from her reach…and then proceeded to very loudly and fakely snore.

“Shikamaru!” Ino shouted as Sakura giggled, only to roll her eyes when all she was met with was an even louder snore. “Fine! We don’t need to talk to you anyways…we have the flowers to talk to, right Sakura?”

“The flowers?” The pink haired girl said quietly, not quite having overcome her shyness in the face of their new group member - even one that was, admittedly, still snoring several feet away.

Ino nodded, her blonde hair bouncing and framing her face prettily. “Yeah! Didn’t you know flowers are really talkative? My mom says they all have something important to say - you just have to listen to them.”

“You? Listen?” The muffled comment from Shikamaru, followed by a scoff, made Ino’s eye twitch.

“Eh? Shikamaru you talking in your sleep over there?” Sakura watched with wide eyes as Ino picked up a rock beside her slowly. “Maybe I should wake him up in case he’s having a nightmare, ne Sakura-chan?”

Then, with a quick and accurate arm, Ino threw the rock in boys direction, her ire only increasing as each successive throw was met with him casually rolling out of its reach. When finally Ino stopped, breathing heavily and out of rocks, Shikamaru let out a loud snore once more.

Thankfully, before a vein could burst in the young temperamental girl's forehead, Sakura began to clap beside her, an expression of awe on her face. “Waa, Ino-chan you have such a strong arm!”

Ino looked at her in disbelief, but upon making eye contact neither one of them could stop themselves from dissolving into childish laughter.

Finally, when they’d both calmed and were lying side by side in the sweet summer grass, Ino picked up one of the many flowers they took from the shop and held it up to her ear. With a smile, Sakura did the same, and as she admired the rippling pink petals she tried to do as Ino said and listened. Her eyes closed and, feeling rather silly and light, she waited for the flower to say something.

_“Ah, Sakura-chan, you’re so pretty! Your hair is the color of my petals!”_

The high pitched nasally voice made Sakura’s eyes snap open and she dropped the flower in shock. Beside her Ino snorted and Sakura smiled as she threw the flower at her face.

“Did you think it was the flower?” Ino laughed, and Sakura blushed, feeling even more silly. “Well…if that flower could really talk, I think that’s what it would say.”

“Really?” Sakura said quietly, fingering her pink hair as Ino nodded.

“It’s a pink carnation,” Ino said, holding the flower up to Sakura’s hair as if to compare the color. It was a bit darker and richer in color and Sakura couldn’t help but wish her hair truly was the color of its petals.

“Mom say’s that every flower has a meaning, and pink carnations mean beauty…and pride I think? So I think it would compliment you, but also compliment itself. Carnations are pretty but…” Ino rolled away from her for a moment and picked up the flower she’d been holding up to her ear earlier. “But this…this one is my favorite.”

Sakura took the flower from Ino, but Ino didn’t let go and instead, they found themselves lying in the grass holding the flower between them. Sakura had to admit it was a beautiful flower, with multiple small brightly painted flowers of pink and yellow and red, all branching off from a single stem…but she was surprised it was Ino’s favorite. She would’ve thought Ino would like something more eye-catching more…bold.

“Why is it your favorite?” She asked hesitantly.

“Well…alstroemeria is the flower of friendship and devotion…and they live a long time too so you can look at their pretty petals for longer than other flowers! That’s why they’re my favorite I suppose.”

Sakura nodded, feeling warm and happy at her words. The flower of friendship…it was a good flower to like best. Then she giggled.

“What do you think it would say if it could?”

With a smile, Ino cleared her throat and took on the nasally high pitched voice she’d had before. She shook the flower with enthusiasm, making its petals bob up and down along to her voice.

_“Hi Sakura! My name is Alstroemeria - but you can call me Al for short. Do you wanna be my friend?”_

Sakura reached out a tiny hand and grabbed one of the flowers thin long leaves. “It’s nice to meet you Al, and I’d love to be your friend! I’m sure we’ll be friends forever!”

They both shared a giggle, ignoring the groan from Shikamaru, before they both sat up. Ino began gathering all the alstroemeria flowers scattered on the hill, handing some to Sakura as well as some of the asters and daisies.

“Alstroemeria is for friendship, asters for patience (you’ll need that with Shikamaru around) and the carnation for beauty and pride! All of them together and you have the most perfect flower crown ever made!”

With a nod Sakura began following Ino’s lead to create the ‘most perfect flower crown’ but as she looped and twisted the stems she eyed the leftover flowers with curiosity. Finally, as the last stem met the first one, Sakura placed her crown of red and pink and yellow flowers on Ino’s head who began to pose and adjust her hair dramatically.

“Do I look like those paintings of Akemi-sama?” She said, batting her eyes and finding increasingly ridiculous poses to model the crown.

Sakura nodded solemnly. “Just like her. You could be a famous model right now if you wanted to!”

“Maa, I know,” Ino smirked, ignoring Shikamaru’s very rude unsubtle snort from behind her. Then she pulled her own finished crown up and placed it on her friends head, who accepted it with much less…enthusiasm than Ino had, but no less appreciation.

“Ah, Ino-chan…” Sakura began as she twirled one of the unused flowers beside her, “If we were only going to use the three flowers why did you bring all these extra ones?”

To Sakura’s surprise, Ino blushed, even looking away from her friend in embarrassment.

“Ah well, you see those…” Ino gathered up the extra flowers, and Sakura looked on with confusion. She’d never seen her friend so...bashful. “The white heather for fulfilled wishes, the hydrangea for heartfelt emotions, and the gardenia for joy…and secret love.”

With a gasp Sakura grasped her friends' hands in excitement, nearly squashing the flowers. “Secret love?? Ino do you have a crush?”

Ino placed a hand on her cheek and turned away, and Sakura squealed.

“You do! Who is it? Do I know him? Does he go to the academy??”

Ino finally nodded and gave up her mask of bashfulness to turn fully towards her friend and squeal with her. Behind them, there was an aggrieved groan of horror which they ignored.

“He’s so cool and cute and he’s the best in the whole class!” Ino sighed dreamily, shuffling the flowers into a light arrangement.

“The best—ah, Sasuke-kun!” Sakura said in realization and found herself unsurprised. She could completely understand where her friend was coming from after all…

Ino giggled, prompting a long sigh from Shikamaru, and nodded to confirm her friends' suspicions. “I was going to bring these flowers to him today…and then maybe…”

Here Ino broke off with a blush again, and Sakura leaned forward in excitement.

“And then what? You’ll get married?” Shikamaru muttered finally in annoyance, deeming his nap officially impossible. “We’re seven, I don’t think that’s really allowed. Besides, it’s not like he’ll understand what any of those flowers mean, he’s not a Yamanaka...or a girl.”

Ino turned with a scowl on her face, “Shut up Shikamaru! His mom would know and she’d tell him! She was a kunoichi after all and it’s required for all kunoichi to understand the language of flowers - mom said so!”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as Sakura nodded beside Ino in solidarity, “Whatever. Even if he did you’d never marry him. He’s an Uchiha. Your dad probably wouldn’t even let you get within ten feet of the compound.”

At that Ino seemed to deflate a little and Sakura eyed her friends' distress with confusion.

 _That jerk! Who does he think he is making Ino-chan sad!_ Inner Sakura cried. _We should find some more rocks and practice our aim, with him as a target!_

“Why does that matter?” Sakura said with bewilderment, ignoring Inner.

Ino scowled down at her flowers and refused to answer, so Sakura turned her gaze to an annoyed Shikamaru, who sighed and rolled his eyes.

“The Uchiha compound is on the outskirts for a reason—they’re known for never marrying outside the clan, not even their civilians do…and if they did it certainly wouldn’t be to the _heir_ to a rival shinobi clan.”

“We- we’re not rivals!” Ino said suddenly, “We’re all from Konoha!”

“You really think that matters?” Shikamaru muttered as he rolled to his feet. “Troublesome…I think I’d rather deal with mom than sit around listening to this all day.”

As he walked away down the hill Ino growled and threw a rock at his head, one which he avoided with a lazy stretch of his neck.

 _Ah, dang so close!_ Inner pouted as Sakura shook her head ruefully.

“…I honestly can’t tell if he’s doing that on purpose or just really lucky.” Ino said glumly.

Sakura patted her friend's hand where she still held the bouquet of flowers meant for Sasuke-kun. It was strange seeing Ino so quiet and subdued…but she didn’t know what to say to make her usually perpetually peppy friend smile again.

“He’s right though…” Ino said with a sigh as she threw the bouquet down. “Neither dad _or_ mom would let me go give these to Sasuke-kun…stupid genius.”

“You don’t know that Ino! Maybe they’d be happy about it?” Sakura tried. But Ino only sighed and in her face, Sakura could see that she’d already decided to not ask. “Well…what if we went without asking? We could go now and be back before dinner and they’d never know!”

At that Ino sat up with a look of realization, a look which quickly solidified into determination. “Yeah…yeah! Sakura I should be calling _you_ the genius!”

Sakura blushed at the compliment, pushing her hair behind her ear with a shy smile. Ino looked happy again, and she couldn’t help feeling proud of that. She did that. She made her smile again and it was the best feeling in the world.

Suddenly Ino stood and grabbed Sakura’s hand. “Well? Let’s go! The compound is all the way on the other side of Konoha, we’ll have to hurry!”

With a shriek Sakura found herself being dragged down the steep hill by Ino’s strong grip, and she just barely managed to keep her feet beneath her as they ran. They quickly reached the bottom of the hill and sped around the corner of the shop, ducking down as they passed the window that shown into where Ino’s mother was arranging flowers in the Yamanaka flower shop.

“Ino-chan! S-slow down!” Sakura panted, her side already beginning to stitch.

“Shh! We need to be quiet or we’ll never make it off the grounds without—”

“Without what?” A scarily calm voice interrupted from behind them. 

They both froze, the bouquet of flowers held tightly against Ino’s chest as she slowly turned around to face her mother.

The Yamanaka matriarch arched a brow and cocked her hip at her only child, giving the flowers held protectively in front of her an interested look.

“And where exactly are you two headed in such a hurry, hmm?”

“Ah…” Ino started with a surprisingly convincing smile. “Well, see I just wanted to bring these flowers to Sakura’s mother! With Sakura’s dad away on a merchant trip I figured it’d…brighten up the house a bit so she doesn’t feel lonely!”

Sakura stared at her friend in amazement. Hardly a moment had gone by and she’d thought up such a convincing excuse? It was almost worrying how good the seven-year-old was at lying. When Ino’s mother turned to give her a look Ino nudged her sharply in the ribs to break her from her silence.

“Oh! Y-yes Yamanaka-san, I think my mother would really appreciate it.” She said with a deep bow. She was a civilian born girl talking to the matriarch of one of the major shinobi clans in Konoha after all.

“How thoughtful of you Ino-chan!” The imposing figure said with a smile. “Although I think we need to work on your flower arranging skills more if that’s the bouquet you give to a friends mother. Unless you have a secret crush on Sakura’s mom that I don’t know about?”

Ino gave a strained agreement as her mother laughed, and Sakura unconvincingly tried a chuckle that sounded more like a cough. Obviously, the meaning of the flowers hadn’t avoided the matriarchs notice.

“Well, lessons aside, it’s far too late for you to be going all the way to Sakura-chan’s and back.” She said with an apologetic nod towards Sakura. “You’d never make it back in time for dinner, and your father just got back from his mission. Don’t you want to see your father Ino-chan? It’ll be our first family dinner in a whole month, after all, you wouldn’t want to be late, hm?”

Ino winced as a heavy load of guilt dropped onto her head at her mothers' words. She shared a conflicted look with Sakura.

“Yes, mom, but—”

“Wonderful! Your father will be so happy to see us all together.” Yamanaka-san said with a smile, then she reached out and patted Sakura on the head. “And I’m sure Sakura-chan would rather have a more befitting bouquet to bring to her mother anyways. I’ll go fetch a nice one and you can bring that one home with you—”

“No!” Ino blurted suddenly, causing her mother to look at her in shock. “I mean…I just really want Sakura’s mom to have the one I made her! Can’t she just take this one? Please, mom?”

Sakura nodded next to her diligently. “Ino worked so hard on this bouquet Yamanaka-san!”

“Well, I suppose…” She said with an amused look, and Ino jumped in excitement as she handed the bouquet over to Sakura.

As Ino gave her the flowers she made eye contact with her friend and an unspoken agreement flashed between them. Sakura nodded with determination and Ino smiled her thanks—she’d deliver the flowers in Ino's place.

As she left the Yamanaka compound Sakura felt filled with as much purpose as a young seven-year-old girl could possibly imagine. She had a mission. She had an _important_ mission, and all of Ino’s young girlish dreams of love and romance rested on _her_ shoulders. She would deliver her best friends hopes and dreams to the boy she liked and they would fall in love and then she would be the maid of honor at their wedding and then she’d get married too and their kids would grow up together and be best friends just like they were and—

—and there was only one problem…she had no idea where the Uchiha compound was.

 

—

 

“Hey, mom?”

“Yes, sweetie? Oh, that’s a nice bouquet of flowers you have—”

“Mom, do you know where the Uchiha Compound is?”

“…ah, yes I suppose…”

Sakura sighed in relief, not noticing her mother’s curious expression focusing on her bouquet and crown of flowers.

“I need to go there right away!” Sakura said as she grabbed a piece of paper and pencil from the desk by the door of her home. She quickly scribbled in her best ‘elegantly romantic’ handwriting a message to attach to the flowers.

“May I ask _why_ my daughter wants to go to one of the most powerful shinobi clans in the village or shall I just keep quiet and be your dutiful valet?”

“Ah, is the dutiful valet a real option?”

“No.”

Sakura sighed and her shoulders slumped.

“I need to bring these flowers there. It’s really important!” She finally said, uncertain if she should give away that they were from her best friend rather than her. It wasn’t her secret to tell after all…although knowing Ino was it really going to be a secret for long?

It doesn’t matter, she decided. Ino was the only one who could tell the secret, not her.

“Oh, I see…for a boy I assume?” Though her mothers' tone was teasing, there was something strange in her expression that Sakura couldn’t place. She looked rather uncomfortable actually.

“Well…yes. We’re in the same academy class.” Sakura said as she shifted nervously from foot to foot. “So…where is it exactly?”

For a long moment her mother looked conflicted, but then she sighed.

“Alright, let me get my shoes and I’ll bring you there.” Her mother said, giving her a pointed look at her grass-stained clothes. “And don’t think you’ll be going there in those clothes. You’ll need to get changed first, understand?”

“Ah, but mom it’s already getting so late we don’t have time—”

“No buts! I won’t have my daughter seeing the boy she likes looking like a street urchin!” With a smile at Sakura’s blushing face, her mother reached over and straightened her pink hair, even doing the quintessential and universally hated _Spit Cleaning No Jutsu_ that every mother knew and every child dreaded.

“Moooom~” Sakura groaned as she tried to avoid her mothers' grabby hands. “I can do it myself! I’ll go clean up!”

With a giggle Mebuki watched her daughter run up the stairs of their rented home to escape her, but the smile left her face as she disappeared to the second floor.

Her daughter, liking a clan shinobi…and an Uchiha no less.

Her daughter, enrolled in the academy.

Her daughter, becoming a shinobi.

It was everything she’d wanted to avoid…but she’d failed, and there was no going back now was there?

There were a dozen worries on her mind, and as she straightened her dark blonde hair in the mirror she couldn’t help but think that it showed. The bags around her eyes, the exhaustion in her eyes…she looked older than she should. She fingered the necklace at the base of her throat as her mind drifted back through the years…

The sound of running feet shook her from her reverie, and she quickly pasted a smile on her face as Sakura leaped down the stairs and ran to the front door. She barely stopped to slip on her shoes and Mebuki giggled at her daughters' enthusiasm.

_Oh, to be young and have your first crush again…_

“Are you ready?” Sakura asked impatiently at the door. She was looking at the darkening sky with apprehension.

“Absolutely,” Mebuki said with a smile, “Are you?”

“Yeah—” Sakura froze in realization. “The flowers!”

Mebuki snickered as she walked over to grab the bouquet that had so nearly been forgotten in the girl's excitement, then joined her daughter at the door.

“Alright, off we go. The Uchiha Compound is quite a ways away, but I’m sure if we hurry we can make it there before the sun goes down.”

 

—

 

Unfortunately, they didn’t manage to make it there before the sun went down. Mostly due to her mother’s various stops at the many shops that caught her eye on the way, each of which had at least one customer or employee who seemed to know Mebuki and wished to draw her into a conversation. 

“Mom!” Sakura called once again as her mother stopped to greet the owner of the Ichiraku Ramen stall.

“Yes, yes, sorry Sakura-chan.” Her mother called with a sigh, apologizing to Teuchi-san as she followed after her insistent daughter.

“Do you really know where we’re going?” Sakura sighed. She wouldn’t be surprised if they were lost…her mother wasn’t known to have the best directional skills after all.

“Ah, well, yes…I think.” Mebuki said with a chagrinned chuckle. “I believe just one more right up here and then we just walk straight from there…”

Sakura gave her mother a doubtful look and then gasped.

“The sun is setting!” The seven-year-old said in dismay. “How much farther are we?”

“Hm…well it’s still quite a ways I think…” Her mother said with a wince. “Perhaps I did get a bit distracted on the way…”

Sakura looked down at the flowers in her hands and gave another cry of dismay to see several of the smaller flowers drooping or crushed.

At her cry, her mother patted her head. “Sakura-chan…perhaps we could try again tomorrow? I’m sorry we got a bit lost, that’s my fault, but it’s getting dark now and we really shouldn’t bother them so late—”

 _What? Hell no! We’ve been walking for hours and she wants us to just give up?!_ Inner growled, and Sakura found herself agreeing with her for once.

“No! It has to be today!” Sakura said with tears building in her eyes. She couldn’t imagine going to the academy tomorrow and seeing Ino’s hopeful face fall when she told her she’d failed in her mission. “The—the flowers will have wilted by tomorrow!”

“We can always get another bouquet tomorrow—”

But, before her mother could argue further, Sakura turned and ran. Her mother directions were spinning through her head — a right up ahead and then straight, a right and then straight, a right and then straight…

Her mothers call echoed behind her, but she ran on and turned the corner sharply. She’d get these flowers to Sasuke-kun…even if she got there when the moon was high in the sky.

 

—

 

Wheezing and huffing, Sakura hunched over to catch her breath, her pink hair falling all about her face in a scattered mess. All her mother hard work to fix her hair had been undone by her harried run.

But…she’d made it. She’d found the Uchiha compound. Was it too late? Would the guards turn her away?

Sakura straightened, her stomach dropping as she approached the looming gates of the compound. The last twenty minutes had seen the area grow more and more remote, and now she understood what Shikamaru had meant by ‘on the outskirts.’ There was no one nearby, just forest surrounded the great walled compound of the Uchiha, and she felt suitably intimidated enough to second guess her mission.

With a shake of her head Sakura sealed herself with thoughts of her only friend's grateful face, Ino’s smile, and with trembling hands, she adjusted the flower crown that still sat on her head. She’d fought tooth and nail with her mother to keep it on and she’d won. The subtle scent of the alstroemeria strengthened her resolve all the more.

With a shaking hand, she reached up and knocked on the great wooden doors of the compound gate. Only silence met her knock, and she bit her lip in worry. Was she really too late? Had everyone gone to sleep? She didn’t think that guards slept…unless they were bad guards?

“He-Hello?” She squeaked out. “Is anyone there? I’m sorry it’s so late but…but I need to give this to someone! It’s really important!”

No one answered her. She shuffled her feet then raised her hand and knocked again, this time more forcefully…so forcefully in fact that the door opened a crack. Startled, Sakura stepped back. The door was…open? That didn’t seem like a good thing for some reason…

“Sakura! Sakura, thank god I found you!” Mebuki reached her daughter and grasped her tightly to her. “Don’t you ever run away from me like that again! What if you’d gotten lost??”

Sakura frowned but didn’t pull away from her mothers' hug, needing the comfort.

“I think I’m more likely to get lost with you around than alone mom…”

Mebuki pulled away with a frown. “That’s enough back talk from you missy! What were you thinking?”

Sakura looked down at the ground in shame, apologizing sincerely to her mother who, as always, quickly softened to her only child.

“Ah well…I’ll think of some kind of punishment later…” She murmured with a quirk of her lips. She looked around then with a confused look. “Now, did you knock? It’s rather quiet around here…it’s late but not _that_ late…”

“I knocked but no one answered…and the door is unlocked. Perhaps someone left the door open by accident?” Sakura bit her lip as she looked searchingly at the door.

She should probably go in then and alert them…what if she’d been someone dangerous after all?

“Sakura…perhaps we really should just go home.” Her mother sounded worried now, but Sakura didn’t look away from the door. She’d come all this way, she was _here_ , she wasn’t going home now!

And so, with that thought firmly in mind, Sakura pushed the door the rest of the way open, rushed inside…

“Excuse me, is anyone—”

…and promptly wished she hadn’t.

“K-kami-sama…”

Blood, everywhere, blood as read as the aster petals atop her head. The bouquet dropped from numb fingers into a puddle of blood, the note she’d so painstakingly written fluttering away.

Sakura couldn’t look away…but she didn’t have to, as soon her mother’s soft cool hands covered her eyes.

“D-don’t look Sakura. Don’t look.”

Sakura grasped her mother wrists with shaking hands but made no move to pull her hands away. She didn’t _want_ to look.

Slowly, she felt her mother backing them up towards the door and she forced her heavy legs to follow her. Ahead of them there was a scream, and Sakura’s legs froze in terror, but her mother only backed them up faster.

With a stumble, her mother's hand was dislodged and there in front of her was a woman running towards them. She made eye contact with them, and a sudden hope burst forth in her face.

“Help! Please, get—hrkk!!” 

With a suddenness that Sakura’s young eyes couldn’t comprehend, the woman was dead. A sword protruded from her chest, her dark eyes didn’t look away from Sakura’s even as they went blank and glassy.

Sakura screamed.

Mebuki quickly covered her mouth, but it was too late…it was likely too late as soon as they walked through the door.

As the woman fell a figure became clear behind her. A tall, darkly clothed, orange masked figure holding a katana, covered in the blood of the dead woman whose eyes Sakura could still see burned into her retinas.

“Why hello there…I wasn’t expecting company.” The figure said in a disturbingly cheery voice. “Come for tea?”

The words seemed to unstick her mother’s legs, as suddenly she was scooping Sakura up in her shaking arms and running back to the open doors of the compound—

—which were suddenly closed.

 

—

 

“No…” Mebuki whispered at the man who’d appeared before her faster than she could blink. He was a shinobi…a killer. She was just a civilian. 

Mebuki set down Sakura and pushed her behind her with one hand, and with the other clutched her necklace. She twirled the glass cylinder around her neck nervously, listening to the familiar clink of the ring and paper within the glass as she did so. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t think for the fear of it. She just wanted to keep her daughter safe…everything she’d ever done had been to keep her daughter safe!

“Please…please we—we’ll just leave!”

“So soon?” The man said with a cock of his head. “Rude. I haven’t even put the kettle on.”

Then, abruptly, the man was in front of her and pain shot through her stomach. Her mind blearily realized the reality of the situation, but still the shining blade in her stomach seemed unreal. As it slid out her knees buckled and she slid down to the ground with a thud.

Behind her, she heard her beloved daughter scream. She tried to turn but fell to her side instead, hands pressing futilely to the gushing wound in her abdomen.

“Mom! Mom please!”

“Saku…” Her whisper fell away as blood fell from her lips, but she struggled to maintain her consciousness as her daughter came into her view.

The man's blade had been replaced by a kunai. It didn’t glint any less in the moonlight against her child’s pale throat.

“No—NO!”

With the last of her strength, she pushed herself forward, hands slipping in the blood soaking the ground around her, unable to gain any traction.

Green eyes met her own, wide with terror. It was only split second, but it felt like an eternity as the man dragged the kunai across Sakura’s throat.

Mebuki choked, her words and grief filling her throat to the point that she couldn’t breathe. She gave up trying to hold herself up as her mouth opened soundlessly on a scream.

“A quick death…” The man said with an almost mournful sound. Mebuki didn’t hear the rest of what he’d said, and she didn’t care either. All she could see was her daughter dying before her, little hands pressed tightly to her bleeding neck. Her own held just as tightly to the necklace around her own neck. She was going to die…there was only one thing to do.

Pain shot through her chest and dazedly Mebuki recognized her own scream. A killing blow, but he’d missed her heart. Mebuki held onto her consciousness with an iron grip, waiting and hoping she wouldn’t die before she did what she had to.

She pulled on distant memories of lessons from the man she’d loved and pressed her chakra into a tiny minuscule ball the size of a pea. She wasn’t a ninja, she had no real training, her chakra was small and pathetic and civilian…she hoped she’d done enough to make it seem even smaller, nonexistent even...just the way that man had taught her.

After what felt like an eternity the man seemed to have left. No apology left his lips, and he was soundless in his leaving but…Mebuki knew enough of shinobi to tell when they had left, despite how long it had been since she’d known one.

Hoping the coast was clear, she painstakingly crawled towards Sakura, already still and eyes lifeless. She choked down a sob as she felt her wrist for a pulse and found one, and then she slammed her necklace onto the ground, shattering the glass cylinder.

She quickly grabbed the piece of paper now freed from the cylinder, ignoring the ring that tumbled out beside it.

“Oh Kami-sama…please, please work…”

Beside her, Sakura’s flower crown was just a mess of crushed petals soaked in blood.


	2. Awakening

_Questions are never indiscreet, but answers sometimes are._  
  
-Oliver Wilde

 

—

 

In the moonlight of the Hokage’s office, the leader of one of the most powerful shinobi nations gave a sigh so deep it seemed to take all the life from his body with it. As he stared out his office window into the night, he wondered how everything had spiraled so out of control so quickly…a common sentiment heard from those filled with regret, as he was. 

Sarutobi Hiruzen turned slowly from his desk where he’d gone to fetch his pipe, knowing he’d need it after the conversation he’d just had. Before him, on the balcony of his office stood a figure backlit by the moon. A figure he looked at with true pity…and not a small amount of guilt.

“Itachi-san…I’m sorry it had to come to this. I would have preferred this had been resolved peacefully…with words rather than blood and death.” A spark lit the dim room as the Hokage lit his pipe, “But what is done is done…and I will keep my promise to you. Sasuke will be safe…and Danzo…There will be consequences for taking action without my approval.”

Itachi nodded and bowed deeply to his Hokage, eyes downcast. There was still blood on his hands, and his face, on his clothes…there was no denying what he’d done. But the Hokage was no stranger to dark meetings with shinobi covered in blood.

“I will uphold your story but…where will you go now?”

Itachi looked up then, but Hiruzen found he couldn’t meet his eyes directly. He stared instead at the moon.

“I’ve found protection in an organization…one that I believe has plans for Konoha…” He said quietly. “They need to be watched, and I need to uphold my criminal reputation…”

“Yes I see…so you will remain a spy, as you have been." The Hokage’s pipe was burning but he took no more draws from it. The smoke was particularly bitter today, with no relief to be found.

“Here.” Hiruzen reached into his robe to pull out a small object, holding it out to Itachi.

“…” Itachi took the object, staring at it in confusion. It was a small, bright green…frog?

The Hokage smiled briefly at the solemn man’s confusion, but it died quickly. “Should you have a need to get information to Konoha…that will be your means. It was a gift from one of my students…he knew how much I hated paperwork—so of course, he would give me a paperweight.”

“I understand Hokage-sama.”

The Hokage had no doubt he did. The boy was young but incredibly intelligent…and deadly. He could only hope that Jiraiya would understand when he told him who his new agent would be…if he did indeed contact him.

“I wish you luck, Uchiha Itachi…”

Then, with a brush of air and a puff of smoke, the figure who’d executed the largest massacre in the history of Konoha disappeared. The Hokage stood for a long while after on his balcony, knowing that soon the massacre would be noticed by a patrolling shinobi, the alarms would ring, and he would be ‘alerted’ of the massacre and it’s lone survivor.

Either way, he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.

 

—

 

It was dark here, and Sakura was frightened. Dark and cold.

In the distance, there was a light, a tiny pinprick of warmth that Sakura seemed to be unable to look away from. She walked towards it, feeling warmer and warmer the closer she got.

“Mom?” She called as she realized the light was actually a campfire. Memories of cookouts in the forest with her mother and father came to mind, merchant trips with her father to towns bordering the village. There was a figure sitting beside the fire, tall and broad of shoulder.

“Dad?”

But the figure was not her father.

“You’re not my dad.” She whispered in fear and confusion.

“No?” The man smiled sadly. “Who am I then?”

“That’s what I just asked!”

The man laughed, and she shivered at the sound. He had a nice laugh, wide and bright just like his hair, just like the fire...but also like the fire, it had a quality to it that both pulled you closer and kept you at a distance. A sort of…wildness, that sat on the edge of total destruction.

“Aa, you look just like her…” He said finally with a sigh. “Although the hair is lighter…pink like your grandfather.”

Sakura looked around her, feeling disturbed and confused, wondering if he was really talking to her. “Who?”

He smiled again but didn’t reply. And suddenly, he began to cry. Silent tears ran down his face, lit like drops of sunlight by the fire in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve done this to you…and I’m sorry I’m so happy.” He gave a sobbing laugh, eyes wide and staring sightlessly into the fire. “I’m free at last, free to rest…I have waited so long…but my freedom comes at a cost. A cost to you.”

Sakura moved closer, confused on why he was so distraught, confused about everything really, but wanting to comfort him anyways. He looked up at her, so close now, and she thought it was strange that he looked so young and so old all at once.

“Sakura. I thought it was a very suitable name for you, a hopeful one. They have such short lives, but they are filled with beauty.” Suddenly, hands reached up and gripped Sakura’s face desperately. She felt fear strike her, but she could not move away. The man’s wild eyes held hers like a fly mesmerized by a lantern.

“I realize now how foolish I was to name you as such. I’d forgotten...cherry blossoms always bloom again, and again, and again…a continuous cycle of life and death and rebirth.” His eyes danced with a manic light, tears still falling. “I wish it hadn’t needed to come to this, as much as I am also grateful it did. I’m sorry you’ve had to take this curse from me…I’m sorry there will be many who will see it as a gift. I’m sorry. Thank you.”

There was a tugging sensation in her naval but she resisted. She didn’t want to leave the fire and go back to the dark, as much as she wished to be as far from this strange man as physically possible.

“It’s okay.” He whispered, “Don’t fight it. The world of the living is waiting. For you, it will always be waiting, as it was for me.”

Finally, he released her and she stepped away quickly with a gasp of air. He turned back to the fire, looking peaceful, as if he hadn’t just been acting like a mad man spouting nonsense.

“Who-who are you?” Sakura whispered as she shivered. The warmth of the fire didn’t seem to be reaching her anymore, and that tugging at her naval intensified.

“Who am I?” He smiled wearily, “I seem to have forgotten. A name is so important…but I can’t remember mine. I wonder…will you find it for me?”

“How?”

The man reached for her again and Sakura leaned away in case he had thoughts of grabbing her face again. But no, instead he only gasped her hand, and when she looked down, she saw a ring. It looked strangely familiar.

“When you find the shrine…” He said softly, almost wistfully, “find the one who asks, but never answers.”

And then, the fire went out.

 

—

 

A great billowing noise filled the streets of Konoha, waking all that heard it. Civilians woke ready to hide and take cover, and shinobi woke alert and ready for duty…but there was nothing left for them to do. The fight was over, the enemy nowhere to be found, and the dead already lay cold upon the ground. 

As all active Jounin and Chuunin patrolled the Konoha borders, looking for any sign of their missing attacker, ANBU searched the Uchiha Police Headquarters and the Uchiha compound for information…and survivors.

They were woefully unsuccessful in finding either, the only survivor of the massacre seemingly being Uchiha Sasuke, found unconscious but otherwise unharmed…at least until—

A gasp, barely heard behind a bone white wolf mask, and suddenly the shinobi gave a frantic hand signal to Bat, an ANBU across the courtyard. The other masked shinobi quickly appeared beside his captain, hands already glowing blue with a diagnosis justu.

Wolf kneeled beside two fallen bodies, a bouquet of wilted and bloody flowers at his feet. He fingered the card that had been wedged into the flowers, noting the Yamanaka symbol on it. It was what had drawn his eye first, but what had kept it was the subtle rise and fall of the chest of one small pink haired girl, her chakra flickering faintly but still there.

A blonde woman whose clothes were soaked in blood was quickly rolled off to the side, revealing the blood-soaked girl beneath that the ANBU had seen breath so subtly. Her throat was sluggishly bleeding but, upon closer inspection, seemed only superficially deep. On her forehead seemed to be a piece of paper, drenched in blood. 

As his subordinate hovered glowing hands over the small girl's body, Wolf leaned down and took the piece of paper with narrowed eyes. They only narrowed further as he wiped the blood from the girl's forehead.

‘Chakra exhaustion and blood loss.’ Bat signaled to his captain as the blue of the medical justu faded. ‘Something’s wrong with her chakra coils. Immediate need for a medic.’

With a single nod and hand signal Bat disappeared with the wounded girl to bring her directly to the hospital as Wolf stayed behind to finish clearing the compound. Once his job here was done however…he’d have to speak to the Hokage about the girl they’d found. The quite obviously _non-Uchiha_ girl, who had been found with what was also quite obviously some kind of a seal placed upon her forehead.

Wolf sighed as he looked around at the destruction and death all around the courtyard, eyes finally coming to rest on the woman who’d been covering the pink haired girl's body. She was also a non-Uchiha from the looks of the hair…likely her mother then, despite the lack of similarity in coloring. Not all families were as homogenous as the Uchiha after all, and drastic differences in hair color were common…although he’d never seen _pink_ hair before.

Wolf kneeled down beside the woman and his sharp eye immediately landed upon something on the ground beside her. It glinted in the torchlight they’d put up to investigate, and with gloved hands, he picked up the object and realized it was a ring—a simple one, with a thick band.

Wolf took the ring, holding it up to the light of one of the torches they’d stationed by the compound gate. As he turned the ring slowly, the light of the torch flickered along the inside of the ring, revealing swirling inscriptions.

There were seals inside of it the likes of which Wolf had not seen since he was a teenager staying with…

This was no ordinary ring, and these were no ordinary seals. Just who was that girl?

 

—

 

Sakura choked on air, her throat was on fire or was the air on fire and she just inhaling it?

“Shhh, shhh…relax it’s alright. Everything is alright, calm down.” 

The voice was soothing and light and accompanied by a subtle push of something Sakura assumed was chakra. She looked over to the woman attached to the hand soothing her and realized by the uniform that she was a medic.

She opened her mouth, and promptly rolled to the side and clutched her throat in pain. The medic quickly pulled her hands away and rolled her onto her back, and Sakura was too weak to stop her. 

There were bandages on her throat.

With wide eyes, it came back to her. 

_A dying Uchiha woman, eyes locked to hers._

_Her mother bleeding on the ground before her, a blade protruding through her stomach._

_A kunai held by a terrifying figure, her throat slicing beneath it like butter._

_A man, tear-stained face lit by fire, holding her face between his hands with strange desperation._

Breath rising, she began to panic, and each breath in was like shards of glass going down her throat. The soothing hand and chakra of the medic did nothing but ramp up her panic further and curdle her stomach.

Where was her mother? Was she still in danger? Where was that man by the fire? Everything felt wrong, everything was—

 

—

 

“We had to knock her out, Hokage-sama…”

“Ah…unfortunate, but necessary. We wouldn’t want her injuring herself further by accident.” The Hokage nodded as he picked up something from his desk. “And her chakra?”

“It’s…stabilized. I’ve never seen anything like it, but her reserves seem to be replenishing now, and her coils are no longer draining her chakra into the seal. Whatever that shinobi did…it worked.”

“Good, good.” He murmured with relief. “We can only hope her next awakening will be more fruitful.”

“Yes…perhaps with a familiar face present it would go more smoothly…has there been any word from her father?”

The Hokage sighed before taking a deep puff of his smoking pipe, adamantly ignoring the medics pointed glare at it. He twirled something in his other hand, looking at it with an intensity that unnerved the medic.

“Yes Haruno Kizashi has been notified…but it will be a week or so until he arrives back in Konoha, as he was away in western Fire Country.”

“Ah, I see…unfortunate.”

“I believe I should be there next time.” He said with a smile, looking at the Hokage mountain out his window. “I believe my face would be rather familiar…after all she must see it every day.”

The medic looked surprised, “Ah, yes that’s true…but I’m not sure—”

“That’s settled then. Notify me the next time she wakes.” He gave a wave to dismiss the medic, attention focused on his hand. 

The medic nodded and turned to leave, sneaking a peek at what had held so much of his interest. She left confused, wondering why the Hokage would be so intensely interested in a simple ring.

 

—

 

The next time Sakura opens her eyes the pain is just as predominant in her throat as before, but the disorientation isn’t quite as pronounced. Her thoughts are fuzzy, however, and it takes considerable effort to focus them.

She’s in the hospital, she realizes as she gingerly feels the bandages around her throat. The thought brings a shard of panic with it, and her next thoughts are of her mother, where she could be, how injured she is…

_She must be in another room…I just need to ask the medic…_

When she gently turns her head to look about the room she immediately spies the medic in question with her head out the door saying something to a person outside it. It’s a shinobi by their dress, and they quickly nod and disappear in a puff of smoke.

As the medic turns back to her Sakura swallows painfully against the dryness of her throat in preparation for speaking. She seems to understand her problem as she quickly brings a sip of water to her mouth, keeping strict control of it so she doesn’t choke.

Sakura pushes away the glass weakly when she’s done, and then opens her mouth once more to attempt to speak, but is stopped by a finger to her lips. The medic shakes her head with furrowed brows over eyes that Sakura suddenly realizes are that of a Hyuuga…she really was out of it if she hadn’t realized that until just now. It was hard to miss eyes like that after all.

Deliriously, in pain, she focused on something mundane to distract herself. She wondered if there were a lot of Hyuuga medics. Didn’t that girl in her class, Hinata-chan, didn’t she always bring in salves and stuff when they had sparring days? She’d never seen a Hyuuga medic before now though…but then her mother had always hated going to the hospital for anything so—

“Haruno-san, my name is Hyuuga Himeko. I’m a specialty medic for the Hyuuga clan but have been brought in to monitor your condition by the Hokage. As such, I must insist that you don’t speak. You suffered a…a major wound to your throat. It’s mostly healed but left drastic scarring, especially on your vocal folds…so it would be best if you didn’t try to speak yet.” Here Himeko stopped and looked conflicted. Sakura thought vaguely that she was rather expressive for a Hyuuga, not that she'd met many. 

“Do you…do you remember anything that happened before waking up?"

With a shiver Sakura looked away from her medic, gripping the hospital bed sheets in her fists so hard she began to shake. She looked around the room, taking stock of everything, looking for any hint that perhaps her mother had been there: a sweater, a bag, _anything_. But there was nothing.

She turned back to the medic, breaths getting shorter and shorter, but she didn’t try to speak again. In her hands, the medic held out a pad of paper and a pencil and Sakura stared at it blankly for a good ten seconds before she realized what it was for. 

Himeko carefully placed the items into Sakura’s hands, only releasing them when her tiny fingers wrapped around them.

“Haruno-san?” She said softly. “Can you tell me how you’re feeling? Can you tell me what you remember?”

With shaking weak hands, Sakura painstakingly wrote out one word and underlined it, before shoving it back to the medic.

_‘Mother??’_

The medic’s face paled, her mouth flattening into a thin line. Sakura wasn’t a master face reader by any standard but…she knew that look couldn’t mean anything good.

Suddenly she couldn’t breathe.

“Haruno-san…you need to calm down. Do you understand me? You need to calm down and _breathe_.”

The medic touched her, but her hand wasn’t soft this time. Instead, it was a sharp pinch to the back of her arm, and the pain was enough to shock Sakura into taking a deep shaking breath.

“There you go, that’s it…Just keep breathing alright?” The medic rubbed where she’d just pinched with an apologetic look. “We’ll explain everything soon.”

There was a knock at the door then, and the medic looked up in apprehension. She sighed as she walked over to the door and opened it with a slight bow.

“Hokage-sama, you’re here.”

Sakura couldn’t believe her eyes. The Hokage…the Hokage was here? For her?

As the Hokage entered the room he took a seat beside her bed, eyes warm and kind as she always thought they looked. He was nowhere near the hard stoic visage she always saw on the Hokage mountain, but the few times she’d seen him at public events had cemented him as a kindly grandfatherly figure in her mind. She was suddenly at ease—she was sure he’d give her the answers she needed.

She didn’t even think of what was appropriate conduct in front of the Hokage as she took the pad of paper from the medics limp hands and shoved it into the hands of the leader of Konohagakure.

Her stomach dropped as he gave the pad a cursory glance, his lips thin and expression telling in its blankness.

“Sakura-chan…this must be a confusing and distressing time for you…and I understand now is perhaps not the most opportune time to ask you this. However, as things are, it is of the utmost importance that we know exactly what you remember. Can you do that for me?”

The Hokage’s voice was low and rough and soothing as he handed her back the pad of paper and pencil, but everything he said only set her teeth further on edge. All these questions…but no one wanted to answer her one? Why wouldn’t anyone tell her where her mother was?

In her frustration, Sakura picked up the pencil he’d so gently pushed into her hand and furiously circled the one word she’d written on her pad of paper…

 

…and then she threw it at him. 

 

For a moment, everyone in the room froze in surprise, even as the Hokage caught her pad of paper easily. Her pad of paper which she’d just thrown at the leader of her village. At the Hokage. She’d just thrown something at the HOKAGE?! What was wrong with her? Her mother would be ashamed!

“Ah…it’s good to see you regaining your strength so quickly.” The Third smiled kindly at her, and Sakura released the breath she’d been holding in her chest with horror.

With a sigh, the Hokage gave her back her paper, and then pulled his pipe from the inside of his robe. He ignored the heat of the medics glare on his neck, but he also didn’t light the pipe…instead just holding it like a worry stone between his fingers.

“I wish I had a better answer for your question…” The Hokage held her eyes then with his own old weary ones, “It is with great sorrow that I must tell you that your mother…did not survive the attack. I am sorry for your loss.” 

If he said anything else after that, Sakura didn’t hear it. Her mind went blank, her horror at being so impolite to the Hokage washed away…and in its place stood only confusion. She remember the wound her mother had, she had watched her fall to the ground before her…she understood what such a wound meant but—but then she shouldn’t be alive either should she? 

Her hand lifted to touch the bandages around her neck once more, and she noticed out of the corner of her eye that the medic tensed. She looked at her then, an unspoken question on her dry lips.

Himeko cleared her throat and looked away, but Sakura only continued to stare, ignoring the questions from the Hokage. Hokage or not, impolite or not, she would get her answers first before she told anyone anything.

Finally, after a sigh and nod from her Hokage, the medic met her eyes. “I know you must be wondering…how you are alive. And the best answer I can give you is…we don’t know.”

Sakura furrowed her brows at that, her teeth grinding. How could she not know? Wasn’t she a medic? A professional? This was her _job,_ and she couldn’t even do that? If they saved her, they should’ve been able to save her mother!

She wanted to reach over and hit her then, and the urge surprised her enough that she looked away from the medic. She took a deep breath to calm herself, rather perturbed at the unusual strength of her anger.

“When you were found…” The medic continued, “the wound was already mostly healed—leaving behind quite a bit of scarring, unfortunately—and you had suffered both severe chakra exhaustion, chakra coil damage, and excessive blood loss. There was also…” 

The medic exchanged a quick look with the Hokage, who Sakura noticed gave another almost imperceptible nod.

“There was a seal found on you, on your forehead to be exact.” The medic said quietly, “It’s the only lead we have on why you survived…It appears to have done something to your chakra—although we have no proof of that without a basis for comparison. Perhaps if we’d seen you in the hospital before and had records of your chakra development…”

Yes, Sakura’s mother had always been rather adamant about avoiding medics…she’d always been rather wary of any in the shinobi field actually.

“…when we admitted you your chakra levels were—and excuse my bluntness—but they were that of a corpse. And your coils…they were so fried we were sure you’d die. ” Himeko cleared her throat. “It wasn’t until we had a…expert come in to study and stabilize the seal that we realized it was both the source of the surging chakra that was burning your underused coils and the reason your chakra levels were not replenishing.It was only then, with the seal stabilized, that we could heal the damage done…but we would still advise no molding of chakra for at least another month.”

There was only silence in the aftermath of the complicated explanation. Sakura couldn’t quite wrap her head around it all.

Seal? Chakra exhaustion and overused coils? Sakura knew what chakra was, and she knew she didn’t have a lot of it, but seals…the only thing she knew was they had something to do with the summons. She’d been in the academy for over a year now, and she could only just barely mold her chakra. And even then, she couldn’t do any justu…they’d only just been taught to use it to spike her chakra in the standard Konoha signal for danger…which she realized she’d forgotten to do when…

The pencil trembled in Sakura’s hand where it rested against the pad of paper. Beside her, the leader of Konohagakure placed a weathered hand upon her shoulder. She looked up at him gingerly, wary of moving her neck too much.

“Sakura-chan, I know this is difficult for you…but I need you to tell me what you remember. This is a tragedy not only for you but for all of Konoha. The entirety of the Uchiha clan…lost in one night, but for one survivor.” The Hokage sighed at the widening of her eyes. “Uchiha Sasuke was left alive…seemingly intentionally. But you…you weren’t meant to be there, and it seems your survival was anything but intentional. You could very well be in danger should those who wished you dead return to find you alive…and through a most…unusual way.”

Her head foggy and eyes blurry, Sakura gave a careful nod of her head in understanding. She could hardly comprehend the words her Hokage was telling her—that someone may wish her dead, that she’d survived in some strange way she didn’t completely understand, that she had some kind of weird _seal_ on her forehead, that her mother was dead and gone like the rest of the Uchiha clan…it was all too much. 

She wished she’d never gone to the compound that night.

After a long silence, the Hokage cleared his throat and prompted her once again with questions. Her hand shook so much as she put pencil to paper that the words hardly looked legible, but she tried her best to get all the words out in one go, answering the questions the Hokage pushed at her as she went. She felt strangely disconnected.

“Why were you at the Uchiha compound?”

‘I was going to bring flowers for Yamanaka Ino, my best friend. She has a crush on Sasuke-kun. We got lost. It was late when we found the compound.’

“What happened when you arrived?”

‘The door was open. We went inside. A woman was killed by a man in a mask. Everyone else was dead on the ground. There was blood everywhere, there was blood—’

“What did the man in the mask look like?”

‘Black hair. His face was covered by a mask with an...orange swirl. He had a sword. He spoke strangely, talking of tea. He cut mother and then he—he cut me.’

“Was your mother a kunoichi? Was she the one who put the seal on you?”

‘My mother hated shinobi. She didn’t want me to go to the academy but father insisted. They fought about it before he left on his trip…’

When the Hokage paused in his questioning, Sakura felt her hand move on its own, writing almost without her control.

‘Who was he?’ She read the shaky words she’d written without realizing. ‘Who was that man? Did you catch him?’

The Hokage sighed as she pressed the paper on him, and she looked at him with blurry tear-filled eyes.

“We know he was a member of the Uchiha clan...but no, we have not caught him.” He said the words kindly, with gentle eyes, as if knowing it wasn’t what the girl had hoped to hear. “That isn’t for you to worry about Sakura-chan, what you need to focus on right now is getting better. The situation is well in hand, and you should have faith that Konoha shinobi will handle this matter swiftly.”

The tears fell silently as Sakura nodded. She understood the words that the Hokage didn’t say. She should stop asking. Although if she pressed would he say it was for her safety to stay in the dark?

Were they keeping Uchiha Sasuke in the dark too? She doubted it. 

Her mother was dead…along with the entirety of the Uchiha clan, massacred by one of their own members—all besides one, that is. The one that Ino had just the other day told her she liked…at least Ino would be happy then. 

Sharp and unexpected the anger bloomed fiercely in her gut, growing up into her throat and scratching it with its thorns.

She’d never felt so angry before, angry at every little thing…every thought she had was laced with it.

It was then that Sakura realized something about that anger she’d felt since she woke up, so unfamiliar in its intensity. The paper she’d thrown at the Hokage…the overwhelming urge to hit the medic…those were all things Inner would usually tell her to do.

But when she reached for her…she was silent. 

No. She was gone. 

Inner was gone.

It felt like another death to her, like another part of her was lost that night that she hadn’t even known it was possible to lose. Sakura closed her eyes, turned on her side, and with no regard for the other people in the room she began to cry. No noise escaped her, but she was sure it was clear from her shaking shoulders and heaving breaths that she was crying. She felt the awkwardness that permeated the room, heard the medic and the Hokage shuffle out, heard the shutting of the door and the silence that followed it.

She didn’t care that she'd disrespected Hokage, she didn't care she'd been 'impolite.' 

She didn't care.

 

—

 

“A figure in an orange spiral mask…” The Hokage murmured from around his smoking pipe. With a sigh, the long-withheld curl of smoke plumed from his mouth into the tense air of his office. In the corner behind him, a figure drew itself from the shadows to stand beside his desk.

“Hokage-sama.” The figure bowed, the stark mask upon his face marking him as ANBU.

“Wolf,” Hiruzen said without looking up from the report, “the girl is awake. Your work on her seal seems to have been effective. For now, it’s stable…let’s hope it remains that way.”

Wolf’s seemed to give a sigh at that.

“Hokage-sama, my work was patchwork at best. She needs a true seal master.”

“Be that as it may, it can’t be helped. Jiraiya is needed far more urgently outside of the village.” The Hokage sighed deeply, “I will, of course, send a request for him to return as soon as he is able, but with him...you never know what whims will take him. We can only hope the seal holds until then.”

“The girl…” Wolf said softly. “Who is she?”

Hiruzen turned finally to look at him, and then slowly he pulled open a drawer from his desk and grabbed something from the bottom of it.

“Her name is Haruno Sakura…” The Hokage extended his arm, palm face up, and offered Wolf the contents of his hand. Wolf took it, recognizing the ring he’d picked up days before from beside the dead woman’s body. “Her parents are Haruno Kizashi and Mebuki…the latter of which, as you know, is deceased.”

There was a long silence as Wolf examined the ring, closer than he had that dark night at the Uchiha compound.

“What can you tell me about these seals?” The Hokage asked with a sharp eye. “The ones on that ring, and the one you stabilized—are they of the same make?”

Wolf was quiet for a long time. Then, slowly, he walked around the Hokage’s desk and sat in the chair before it with a bone-weary slump. Hiruzen watched him with curiosity as he slipped the porcelain mask from his face in a rare act of unprofessionalism. The visage of one Hatake Kakashi looked back at him, a mask beneath a mask.

“Hokage-sama…” Kakashi began with a narrowed eye. “I’ve been unable to think of anything else since I saw those seals the night of the massacre…they looked so familiar but…I just couldn’t place it. But after stabilizing the girl…I knew for sure.” 

“The seal on Haruno Sakura’s forehead…it’s the most complex seal I’ve ever seen, but I _can_ at least say that it was created by the same person who created this ring.” Kakashi traced the outside of the ring in his hand in thought. “…it’s the work of an Uzumaki seal master. I went and looked at the seals Kushina put up on their old house, and there’s no doubt about it…although it would take someone more knowledgable than me to ascertain the entirety of what they do.”

Hiruzen’s gaze sharpened. “You’re certain, Kakashi?”

The white-haired man nodded his head.

“Well…that is an interesting development.” The Hokage hummed in thought. He believed the man, as improbable as it was that a civilian girl with seemingly no connection to the Uzumaki would have one of their seals. After all, if there was anyone in Konoha that would recognize an Uzumaki seal it would be Kakashi, considering his close connection to Kushina as well as two of the greatest seal masters in the history of Konoha.

“You did succeed in stabilizing the seal, however… surely you understood some of what it did?”

Kakashi sighed deeply and rubbed at his neck. “Maa, like I said Hokage-sama, what I did was like putting a plaster on a hole in a boat and hoping I put it on the right one to keep it from sinking. After all, there were two seals on her…I just did my best with the one that I could understand.”

Hiruzen’s brows rose in alarm at that, but Kakashi continued.

“From what I could understand of the thing, one seal was already there to begin with, but dormant. If it had never been activated she would have lived her entire life without ever knowing it was there. I still don’t know what it is…but what I did recognize, was the one on top of it. This-” Kakashi leaned forward and placed a piece of bloody, ragged paper on the desk of the Hokage. 

“This is a chakra draining seal...although it’s unlike any I’ve ever seen before. I found it beside her body the night of the massacre, as well as drawn upon her forehead with blood.”

The Hokage hummed in thought as he picked up the piece of paper. He didn’t know much about seals, but he had seen a chakra draining seal before and he had to agree that it was quite an unusual one. Chakra draining seals themselves were incredibly rare and difficult to both create and alter because of the complexity and size of them. 

This chakra draining seal was very…condensed. Or perhaps _efficient_ was a better word. The thought triggered a connection in his brain, and he looked at the seal with new eyes.

“This is…rather similar to another Uzumaki seal I’ve seen before. One you would not have seen but perhaps have heard of.” Hiruzen looked at Kakashi curiously as he set the seal back upon the table.

“Have you ever heard of the Strength of a Hundred seal?”

“The seal held by the Senju Tsunade? The Sannin?” Kakashi said with a thoughtful look.

“Yes…it has many attributes in common with a chakra draining seal, although it requires the users' constant precise control to store and to use—rather than a one-time activation.” The Hokage hummed around his pipe. “Considering the Strength of a Hundred seal was passed down from Mito Uzumaki, I thought it a strange coincidence they were so similar.”

There was a long moment of contemplative silence, as they both thought about what the connection could mean.

“Well, wherever the seal came from, it somehow came into the hands of Haruno Mebuki. It’s my belief that _this_ is the seal the woman activated the night of the massacre, using that paper as guidance. Once I made that conclusion, I was able to put a ‘lock,’ so to speak, around the chakra draining seal and keep it from draining her any further than it already has.” Kakashi shook his head, “Should she ever break that lock, however…It may very well instantly kill her.”

“A chakra draining seal…what a strange thing to do to a person dying. Perhaps she didn’t know what the seal did?” The Hokage proposed, but Kakashi seemed unconvinced.

“Intent is as important as precision in seals. She would have to know exactly how to activate it, exactly how much chakra to use, and exactly what it would do. Which makes it all the more confusing that, by all accounts, Haruno Mebuki was a civilian.” At that Kakashi pulled a separate paper out from his vest and placed it on the desk beside the chakra draining seal. 

“And as for why she would use such a seal…well, I believe this is why.”

Hiruzen picked up the second piece of paper with wide eyes. “This is the dormant seal you mentioned?”

“Yes…although it is obviously no longer dormant. I was able to expand the seal enough to see some of its contents…although I don’t understand much of it.” Kakashi pointed at several spots upon the seal in quick succession. “This here is a concealment command, released only by filling the receptor with enough chakra to activate the seal. And this, this is the receptor…strangely it’s keyed only to accept yang energy, and only from this specific chakra draining seal.”

“I see…so the chakra draining seal was used to activate a second, dormant, seal already upon the girl…but to what end? How did a seal such as this save that young girl's life?” The Hokage asked the question, but it was not addressed to Kakashi. Rather, it was addressed to himself…because the seal Kakashi had put in front of him was startlingly familiar. 

It was unnervingly similar to one of the only seals he knew well enough to use in combat…one which also happened to be the most deadly.

“I don’t know, Hokage-sama…” Kakashi answered despite sensing the question hadn’t needed an answer. “We can only assume her mother or father was the one to place the seal on her and conceal it…if either is indeed her parent.”

The implication sat heavy in the air, but it was not unfounded. How else would she have such a connection to Uzumaki seals? 

“Should I look further into their history, Hokage-sama?” Kakashi continued.

“I believe that would be best.” Hiruzen nodded, “I’ll entrust this to you then. I’ll expect you to report back with your findings within the week…and of course, let no one know of how the girl truly survived. It wouldn’t do any good to stir up rumors during this turbulent time in Konoha.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” With a tilt of his head, Kakashi gave a saccharine smile, “Maa, the girl was very lucky the cut was shallow enough that she didn’t bleed out before we found her, ne?”

With a small twitch of his mouth, Hiruzen nodded and then Hatake Kakashi was once more Wolf, leaving in a puff of smoke.

As soon as he left, the Hokage stood and left his office to return to his residence. It was a short walk, and the cool air was a stark relief from the stuffiness of the office he’d spent the entirety of his day in. But despite the mildness of the weather, the Hokage could not enjoy it. Not with so much upon his mind.

Hiruzen…had a lot to think on. He had a lot to think about in general really. How to handle Danzo, what to tell Jiraiya of his potential new spy, what to think of this strange masked figure he had no knowledge of that had seemingly _helped_ with the massacre…and of course, that seal.

It pressed on him, the familiarity of it, the similarities he saw in the strokes, the structure…he knew the seal by heart, had it inked onto his own body, and yet he still needed to compare them with his own two eyes before he was sure. He hoped his mind was just playing tricks on him.

When he reached the Hokage residency, the first place he went was not to his private quarters, but rather the secret library containing Konohagakure's priceless scrolls. The very same that contained secrets and forbidden jutsu long sealed away by the first Hokage for the safety of the village.

That night, Sarutobi Hiruzen unsealed the Scroll of Seals, and from it, he took the scroll containing one of the most forbidden sealing techniques of Konohagakure. He placed it on the floor with paperweights to keep it open, and beside it, he placed the paper with the seal Kakashi had been so confused by.

As he compared them, his stomach sank. There, the same concealment command on both, and there, the same kanji for Kami, the same structure and line formation…it was nearly identical, but for three differences.

First, the kanji for Death was, on the other, the kanji for Life. Second, the kanji for Soul was, on the other, the kanji for Body. And thirdly, was the requirement for activation being not chakra, but—like Kakashi had pointed out—the yang energy from the chakra draining seal that had both seemingly saved the girls life and nearly taken it.

With a sigh, the Hokage resealed away the forbidden technique, as well as the paper containing Sakura’s seal and placed the Scroll of Seals back in its hidden compartment. His theory had been proven, but he felt no sense of accomplishment. All that this confirmation had done was give him more questions, all with no answer. 

All he could do was watch the girl closely…and pray to the Sage that the answers would reveal themselves in time. Hopefully without any terrible repercussions.

But, there was one question he would have to answer for himself, and soon. What to do to protect the two traumatized children once they left the hospital. The children who had survived a massacre the likes Konoha had never seen…a mess they should never have been in the middle of in the first place.

The girl at least was the easiest. No one but he, Kakashi and the medic knew of how exactly she’d survived…and that’s the way it should be kept. Who knows just who’d become interested in her if the news came out she had a mysterious and possibly incredibly powerful seal upon her forehead?

Well, that’s not true. Hiruzen knew of a few people who’d be quite interested, and that’s what worried him. He’d have to find a way to impress the importance of keeping the seal a secret on the young girl, although he had a feeling she wouldn’t have trouble keeping quiet. At least no one but him and Kakashi had seen the seal in its un-condensed form…and even then he was the only one in the village who knew of what seal it so closely resembled. 

Still, an ANBU guard would not be a bad idea, considering Hiruzen still had no idea who this ‘man in an orange swirled mask’ was.

And the boy…he would need several guards, although more for show than for anything else. He knew better than anyone Itachi wouldn’t be returning, but no one else did—besides Danzo that is. Who was a whole other issue to be dealt with later...he didn't look forward to the fallout that would occur once he removed him forcibly from the council and disbanded ROOT. The man would more certainly be less than pleased he was sure.

Sasuke's physical health the Hokage had no worries about, though his mental health was another issue…perhaps it would help him to speak with Sakura. Or well…not speak, per se, but communicate. They would certainly have common ground.

 

—

 

Sakura had been awake in the hospital for a week now, and still she was allowed no visitors (supposedly because of her precarious ‘condition’ but she thought that was a strange excuse considering she felt fine aside from a sore throat and an inability to speak…) but the Hokage had visited her every day. It had stopped feeling like an honor after the third day and started feeling like more like observation by the fourth. And even when the Hokage left, the feeling of being watched remained. She told herself she was just paranoid.

She smiled politely and nodded seriously when he repeatedly told her that she must not tell anyone of the seal on her forehead—for her safety of course—and she believed him…she didn’t even think twice about believing him really. He was her Hokage and she knew he knew best, so if he said to keep the weird seal a secret, then she would. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t ask questions about it.

‘What does it do? Will it go away? Have you found out where it came from yet? Can I see it?’

Her questions to her medic Himeko were met with varying degrees of avoidance or vagueness, although she did eventually show her to the bathroom, which had a mirror.

When she looked in the mirror she didn’t expect to hardly recognize herself. She was still that pink haired, green-eyed girl she’d been before, though it was a bit like looking at a stranger with her face. To an outsider though, the only real difference was upon her forehead, where two round green circles were stamped just above her eyebrows—and of course the bandages wrapped around her neck like a strange turtleneck.

She placed her hands upon her cheeks, noting how much thinner they looked, and at the feeling of her palms on either side of her face she had a sudden flash of memory hit her.

There'd been a man...hadn't there? A man by a fire in the midst of darkness, and he'd told her strange things and-

Sakura shook her head to clear it of the memory of that strange dream. Because that's what it had been. Just a strange...strange dream.

She turned her attention back to the mirror, touching the circles above her brow gingerly and wondered at them. Had her mother put it there as the Hokage seemed to suggest? If so…how had she so completely missed something so important about her mother? Had she really been a kunoichi? Had she really hidden, no, _lied_ about something so important to her and father? 

Then again…once she thought about it, she didn’t know much at all about her mother. She knew she’d been born in Konoha. She knew her mothers family had been tailors but had died in the bijuu attack. Sakura only had her father’s extended family to call her own…and even they lived out west in rural Fire Country, so she had never met them.

It had always just been Sakura, her mother, and her father. Now it was just Sakura…at least until her father arrived back in Konoha from his trip west.

She gave a smile at that thought, a spark of happiness and hope blooming in her chest. Once her father came back everything would go back to normal…or as normal as it could be with her mother gone. Her smile waned a little at the thought of her mother, but the idea of going home with her father was enough to keep it strong on her face. Her reflection smiled back at her, and it was only then that it stopped looking like a stranger to her.

There was a knock on the door, startling Sakura enough that she nearly slipped on the bathroom tiles. As she re-entered the room and sat upon the bed, she looked at the medic in askance, confused. The Hokage had already come by today after all…perhaps her father had arrived in Konoha early?

“Haruno-san.” Himeko said unfailingly polite as always. She didn’t seem surprised at the company, Sakura noticed. “You have a visitor today.”

Sakura looked to the door with a small bloom of hope in her chest, staring intently as Himeko walked calmly over to open the door.

It was not her father who walked through the door. It was Uchiha Sasuke.

There was a heavy silence as he stood at the foot of her bed and Himeko shuffled uncertainly for a moment. Then she blew out a careful breath and gave Sakura a polite and placid smile.

“...I'll be just outside if you need me. I’ll let you two to talk.” Then she left Sakura all alone with the boy who she’d, just last week, went to deliver the hopes and romantic dreams of her best friend. The boy whose family had been murdered by one of their own, a mad Uchiha.

The silence was long but Sakura knew she would not be the one to break it, and not just because she still physically could not speak. It was the first time all weak that she had actually been thankful for her imposed silence. She really wouldn’t know what to say even if she could say anything at all.

Instead of bothering to come up with something to say, she instead examined the boy in front of her. She knew him of course, having attended the academy with him and known him as the best in the class…he was just as cool and pretty as he had been before. 

Except for his eyes. 

They were dead.

Sakura shivered and looked away. She suddenly wasn’t seeing the eyes of Uchiha Sasuke anymore, instead of seeing the ones of a dying Uchiha woman as she fell under a masked man’s sword. She breathed slowly to calm her panic, but the quiet didn’t seem to be helping her any.

“You were there.”

The hoarse voice broke through the silence, and her panic, with a quiet forcefulness. 

Sakura looked up and met his dead eyes, but he didn’t meet hers. They stared right through her, just like those of the woman she’d watched die in the middle of the Uchiha compounds courtyard. She flinched and kept her eyes instead of just over his shoulder.

“You were there, you met him.” His voice took on a tremble then on the word ‘him.’ “What did he say to you?”

She shivered at the cold steel in his voice and leaned away from him as the Uchiha walked closer with a scowl. She couldn’t help but see him like that—an Uchiha rather than ‘Sasuke-kun.’ This wasn’t the Sasuke she’d known in the academy, the Sasuke she’d helped Ino make a bouquet for, write a love note for…

As he stopped to stand beside her bed, she looked him in eyes and saw a bit of that deadness lifted…and replaced by hate. 

He threw something in her lap and she looked down to see her pad of paper and her pencil.

“What did he say.”

This time it wasn’t a question. It was a demand. 

Sakura felt her fear be replaced with anger, that same anger she’d felt so often since she’d woken and found Inner gone. She took the paper in her hands and seriously considered ripping it into pieces and throwing it at the boy. 

He came in here demanding answers from her, just like everyone seemed to do since she’d woken, and expected her to jump when he told her to? No apology for what had happened, no questions on her health, nothing beyond a demand for information. 

Still, she gritted her teeth and put her pencil to paper, just as she had for the Hokage. The Uchiha had been through a lot, after all, …losing his entire family as he had. At least she still had her father to look forward to seeing again.

She couldn’t help being a bit mean though. He was being rather rude after all.

‘He asked me if I wanted to come in for tea and dango. I told him I preferred umeboshi.’

She watched Uchiha Sasuke’s face turn red as he read the paper she handed him. It crumpled beneath his clenched fist, and she wasn’t surprised when it started to smoke a bit as well. The Uchiha had always been well-known fire jutsu users.

“You think this is a joke?” He whispered furiously, sneering at her. “You think it’s _funny_ that he—”

At the despair she heard in his voice, hidden as it was beneath the gravel and grit of fury, Sakura felt a bit of guilt eat at her. But only a little…after all she hadn’t really lied. And…she found that even that little bit of humor she’d put into the memory had made it easier to write down than it had been before. It didn’t stop the painful chest tightening panic that invaded her though. Again she was thankful she couldn’t speak, as she wasn’t sure she’d be able to around the rock in her throat.

‘He really did ask me if we wanted tea.’ She turned the pad of paper towards him stiffly, and he looked at it with a little less deadness in his eyes, confused. ‘Right before he—before he did what he did to my mother and I.’

She couldn’t bring herself to write it again. That he’d stabbed her mother in the stomach and slit her throat. She let the thoughts slip through her fingers like water instead of letting them pool and fester, and felt a strange weightlessness come over her. It was a relief, and something she’d become rather good at in the last week whenever the dark thoughts and anger began to overtake her.

She chanced a glance up at the boy beside the bed, staring down at her turned pad of paper.

“He really is mad…” The Uchiha murmured, and then he laughed. 

As she listened to him laugh and laugh and laugh… Sakura couldn’t help but wonder if madness ran in the family.

“I’m going to kill him.” He finally whispered hoarsely as his shoulders stopped shaking. Something seemed to radiate from the words that chilled her to the bone. Something about the feeling that came over her…it was the same as that night. She felt her muscles seize in terror.

Was this killer intent?

She felt helpless in the face of it…just as she had before in front of that masked man. 

She decided she hated feeling helpless more than anything.

“Uchiha-san.” A firm voice barked from the doorway, and suddenly the tension in the room eased. “I believe that’s enough for now. Haruno-san needs her rest.”

Sakura had rather grown to hate Himeko’s insistently polite voice, mostly because it reminded her of her mother—who had always insisted that there was never an excuse for rudeness—but right now it was the best thing she’d ever heard.

But…as much as she wanted him to leave, something nagged at her. The way he’d talked, it was as if he’d know the one who did it. The one who’d killed his family and her mother. 

She thought back to the Hokage’s words…for her to not worry about such things. The obvious suggestion to let it be, to not ask anymore. 

But she needed to know. She needed to know the name of the man who’d ruined her life. 

And so, in a move she never would have been bold enough to do before, she reached out and grabbed the boy’s wrist to stop him from leaving. 

He immediately ripped his arm away from her with a glare, but she had his attention.

‘Who was he?’

The written words were simple and short, but they were powerful enough to push the boy who read them backward several steps. His face twisted, and he turned his back on her. Sakura slumped, thinking he would leave, keeping her in the dark just as the Hokage had.

But then, he stopped, almost at the door where Himeko stood watching him carefully.

“He was my—he was my brother. Uchiha Itachi.” There was a hiss in his voice as he said the name. “But if you’re thinking of revenge…just give up. A civilian born girl like you wouldn’t stand a chance. He’s _mine_ to kill, to avenge my family…and I _will_ kill him.”

As Uchiha Sasuke left the room she breathed a sigh of relief and tension fell from her shoulders. 

Just a few hours ago she was wishing for someone, anyone, to visit her besides the Hokage, but now…she felt she’d be forever grateful to have no visitors if it meant if he never visited again.

Even if it left her alone in a room that felt like every shadow had eyes, and the name of her mothers killer whispered from every corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a lot of fun with planning out this story :)  
> Things got a bit explanation heavy in parts of this chapter...hopefully it makes sense and isn't confusing. Let me know what you think!


	3. Reunion

_“A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.”_  


- Saul Bellow

 

—  


 

 

Sakura thought her visit from Sasuke would be the worst of her week. After all, just the next day her father would arrive and they would both leave this white-walled monstrosity and all the horror it had brought her life. But she was wrong. Oh, how wrong she was. 

Her week would only get worse from the moment her Uchiha classmate left.

The day her father was supposed to arrive…he didn’t. It was Himeko that told her he wouldn’t be coming, and Sakura was suitably distraught.

‘Is he okay? Did he get attacked, ambushed?’

It wasn’t unheard of for merchants to be accosted by bandits but…so far inland it was pretty unlikely. Himeko gave her one of the polite smiles she seemed to have perfected, as calming as it was infuriating.

“No, no, there’s no need to worry…” She looked away, down and to the left, before meeting Sakura’s eyes again. “There was just a minor issue with a bridge on the main road, so they had to go a long way. He’ll be here in a few days.”

Sakura relaxed a bit at that, but couldn’t help but feel disappointed all the same. She’d been so looking forward to this day, seeing her father and his warm smile…she just wanted to go home. She wanted her pink walls instead of white. She wanted the birds outside her window instead of the beep of a heart monitor. She wanted—she wanted her parents.

Himeko reached out and stroked her hair softly in comfort, but Sakura pulled away and flopped back into the pillows behind her. She continued to sulk as Himeko’s hands glowed green with a diagnostic jutsu, but she couldn’t help but eye it with interest after a few minutes.

It was the one good thing about being stuck here, bored and lonely as she was—at least she had gotten to see real medical ninjutsu in action. She thought it was fascinating actually, and had on several occasions pestered Himeko into telling her the basics of how it all worked. She hadn't understood much, besides the basic idea that one had to separate their own Yin chakra in order to mix it with the Yang chakra of the individual in need of healing. The rest of the explanation had been a bunch of medical jargon about cells that had gone right over her seven-year-old head.

Medical ninjutsu also tickled, which always made her giggle.

“Well…in other news, it seems like your chakra coils are recovering nicely.” Himeko picked up the chart from the bottom of the bed to write something down.

Sakura nodded and then, when Himeko looked up from the chart, gestured to her throat. The medic frowned a bit and Sakura scowled, expecting another round of evasive platitudes. This was another one of those questions that seemed always to get her a vague non-answer from everyone around her (as limited at that 'everyone' was). Always ‘we’ll have to wait and see’ or ‘perhaps once the swelling lessens. It’s just too soon to tell.’

This time though, it seems Himeko had something to say, and it wasn’t going to be empty platitudes.

“Haruno-san…I’ve told you before that we found you with the wound mostly healed, yes?” Sakura nodded and Himeko sighed, “Well, of course, it’s wonderful that it did, otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting here at all but…however you healed, it was ‘natural’—at least when compared with that of medical ninjutsu assisted healing that is—and so it left behind significant scarring.”

Again Sakura nodded. They’d said as such before of course, although she had yet to take the bandages off for herself and see it. Every time she even thought of looking at her neck without the bandages, she'd have vivid flashes of the feeling of cold metal slicing through her skin and her mother's cries of despair.

Sakura took a shaky breath, realizing her medic was staring at her with what approximately looked like worry in her blank Hyuuga eyes. She must have drifted off again, it always seemed to happen whenever the attack was brought up.

“Scarring…it’s every medic’s worst nightmare." Himeko continued once Sakura locked eyes with her, "It can’t be healed after all, not without destroying the scar tissue and healing it again. It’s much like when a bone breaks and is not set properly…it must be broken again before it can be set properly and healed.” 

Wide-eyed, Sakura places a hand around her throat. She can feel the raised skin there, and she shivers.

“Obviously in your case, that is out of the question. It would be an incredibly dangerous operation to cut into your throat and remove all the scarring done to your esophagus and vocal cords…” Here Himeko pulled Sakura’s hand away from her neck, which she hadn’t realized she’d begun to clutch a bit too tightly. “It’s likely that the scarring is what’s preventing you from speaking clearly and without pain…I’m sorry Sakura-san, but there’s not much we can do.”

Sakura wrenches her hand from the medic’s grip, not missing her use of her first name. She glares at her in the hopes that she won’t call her it again. As much as she’d gotten annoyed with being called ‘Haruno-san’ all week she found the bit of familiarity in the medic's voice as she told her _more_ bad news had only grated on her nerves.

She rolled away from the pitying eyes of the medic to stare at the wall in thought, her eyes watering. She’d been waiting for an answer to her question all week, but now…she could only wish she hadn’t gotten an answer at all. She'd rather have stayed in ignorant bliss.

It was becoming a pattern for Sakura. Ask a question, be refused an answer, and then when she finally got one —regret it.

She could never speak again…or at least not well. She’d only tried once since she’d woken up, and it had not been pleasant. Her throat had felt like it was being scraped with a knife and all that had come out was a whisper so low and quiet it could rival Hinata-chan’s stuttering attempts at public speaking.

“There are other way’s to communicate with people.” Himeko offered up behind her with a sigh. “Have they started teaching you Konoha Standard yet?”

Sakura didn’t turn around, she didn’t want Himeko to see the tears in her eyes after all, but she did shake her head in response.

“Hmm, they must have started teaching it later than they did when I was in the academy then.” Himeko made a disappointed ‘tch’ at that but continued despite no reaction from Sakura. 

“Konoha Standard is a language of hand signs used to communicate between shinobi in the field when silence is essential. Usually, basic commands and signals are taught to academy students, and only Jounin and Chuunin are required to learn more than that but…they’d make an exception for you I’m sure.”

Konoha Standard…she’d never heard of it. Then again she was civilian born (or so she thought before her mother suddenly knew _seals_ and who knows what else) so it made sense she wouldn’t know these things.

Slowly Sakura turned around and picked up her pencil and paper.

‘If only Chuunin and Jounin know it, then how will anyone else understand me?’

“Well, I suppose you can always teach others…or just keep writing.” Himeko arched a brow at her. “Or just become a Chuunin as quick as you can. Then you won’t need to worry about it.”

Sakura looked down, sniffling quietly as she thought. Himeko had said they taught her…and weren’t all medic’s at least Chuunin level?

‘Will you teach me?’

Himeko smiled, and Sakura mirrored it with wet eyes.

This answer, at least, was a good one. 

At the very least the next few days would be less boring, now that she had something to learn. Sakura always had loved learning after all.

And then, when her father arrived, she’d be the one to teach him for once. All the things he’d taught her over the years…how to haggle for goods, how to know if something was a good deal or a swindle…although he’d always been reluctant to teach her anything about the merchant life for some reason. 

Sakura thought, maybe if they got good enough it could even be their own little secret language, and then he wouldn’t be so hesitant! After all, merchants didn’t learn Konoha Standard, only shinobi. The thought put a little smile on her face.

“What would you like to learn first?” Himeko asked, looking rather fond at Sakura's sudden exuberance. 

‘Dad.’ Sakura wrote quickly.

Himeko’s smile dropped suddenly, which Sakura thought was a bit strange, but she ignored it and focused on memorizing the hand gesture she showed her. An open hand, fingers wide apart, with the thumb, tapped against the forehead. It was much easier than the hand signs they were learning in the academy, the ones which supposedly helped them mold their chakra.

Her next request was ‘How are you,’ and then, ‘I love you,’ and finally, ‘You’re late.’ 

The further on they got in the lesson, the more despondent Himeko seemed, but Sakura was too invested in learning as much as she could to think much on it. She was sure it was just a weird Hyuuga hangup about showing emotions, or maybe it was the eyes that were throwing her off. They were hard to read after all.

Lastly, she asked how to say ‘I missed you.’ 

This time Sakura ignored the slump of Himeko's shoulders and the strange look in her eyes. If she hadn’t, she might have said it looked like guilt.

 

—

 

The next few days _were_ slightly less boring than usual now that there was something for her to learn, as Sakura had suspected they would be. But still, the ever-present thought of her father’s lateness loomed over her. She’d begun to wonder if he’d ever even arrived, or if he was really just dead and Himeko and the Hokage were too worried about her mental health to tell her the truth.

Finally, when the day came for her father to arrive, there was no Himeko there to tell her more bad news. In fact, it actually started out pretty well.

When her father stepped into the hospital room, Sakura was eagerly waiting for him and she barely took a moment to look at him before she launched herself around his midsection. With her face stuffed into his stomach and her arms wrapped around him as tightly as she could, she breathed in his familiar scent. 

He smelt clean, which surprised her. She would have assumed he would smell of the road, as he often had when he’d come home after a long trip. He’d always said he would put off washing just so he could get home faster to see them.

She was crying again, tears of happiness mixed with the pain. She was so happy to see him, but he only compounded on the knowledge that her mother was really, truly, gone. She was sure she’d seen his own face lined with tears as well before she’d wrapped herself around him, and now that he was here they could mourn together. 

Together they’d get through this. Maybe...maybe she’d give up being a ninja altogether, join him in his merchant travels around Fire Country instead…he was all she had left after all, and she never wanted to let go.  She felt if she let go she might just float away and disappear.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, in the happiness of being close to her father once more, that she didn’t even notice his own arms remained limp at his side.

“Sakura.”

With a sniffle, Sakura pulled away from her father, a bit confused. Her father never called her just ‘Sakura,’ it was always ‘Saa-chan’ or some variant. When she looked up her father’s face was colder than she’d ever seen it. She moved a bit farther away, her face heating up.

Haruno Kizashi had never liked public displays of emotion but…but surely this would be the time for an exception to be made? And a hospital room with a medic in the corner hardly counted as ‘public.’

“We need to attend the funeral. It’s already been arranged.” He pulled a package from his pack and pressed it into her hands. “I’ve brought some clothes from the house for you to change into.”

Sakura nodded. She watched with blurry eyes as her father turned his back to her and left the room, allowing her the privacy to change. Himeko helped her to methodically strip herself of the hospital clothes and get into the black dress her father had brought her. She didn’t really need the help but she appreciated it all the same as her limbs felt impossibly heavy suddenly.

It wasn’t the reunion she had imagined.

But…things would be better when they got home. Her father must be so shocked at everything that had happened…she knows she had been. Shocked and alone and hollow feeling…but she’d broken out of it when she realized he’d be coming home.

At the thought, her uneasiness lessoned a bit. He just needed time. She nodded to herself as she went to the door and saw her father standing just outside in the hallway.

Seeing her, Kazashi’s gaze quickly moved away from her and instead looked behind her to Himeko. 

“Will you be coming too?” He asked her. Himeko nodded and so he turned and began to walk away.

Quickly Sakura caught up with him and reached out to put her hand in his. 

He pulled away.

 

—

 

Her mother’s funeral was less of a funeral and more of a memorial. After all, it wasn’t just for her mother, but for all those who had died in the massacre—which had the unfortunate side effect of there being quite a crowd of people. 

As Sakura examined the people around her, she noticed that they were mainly made up of members from shinobi clans. Her eyes skimmed over the group whose clothes held the Yamanaka’s clan symbol quickly and hovered over the group of Hyuuga a ways away.

Himeko stood beside her during the funeral, a fact which had a few of the Hyuuga eyeing her strangely from where they stood with their other clansmen. Sakura had looked for the one Hyuuga she knew from class, but she hadn’t seen her. There weren’t any children around besides her actually—and Sasuke of course.

It made sense really. If…if her mother was around, she certainly wouldn’t have wanted her to go. Probably wouldn’t have told her much of anything at all about the massacre actually. She’d always seemed so determined to shelter Sakura from the world of shinobi…even after Sakura had succeeded in entering the academy. 

Sakura had never been to a real funeral, but she knew in general that they were usually given a wake before they were cremated…but there were no bodies for the wake, as they had all been burned immediately—including her mother. 

She’d been sad to hear it…but Sakura was a smart girl, top of her class in academics, and she'd understood why they’d done such a thing after only a few words from Himeko.

‘Why burn?’ She’d asked in her broken Standard. She hadn’t had much time to learn from Himeko, only a few days, but she’d always been quick when it came to memorizing things. Himeko seemed to understand, although she'd looked around wearily before she'd answered.

“The Uchiha have something very valuable, something that even in death people may want to steal.” Himeko had replied quietly, almost at a whisper.

It was a disturbing thought to have, that someone might want to take the eyes of the dead.

Sakura couldn’t imagine how someone could want such a thing. To have the eyes of a corpse in place of their own…she was already haunted by the eyes of the dead Uchiha woman in her dreams, she couldn’t imagine them physically being within her, looking at them every day in the mirror…

Her stomach turned at the thought, and she tries her best to push the image away from her mind.

Sakura understands why they were having a memorial service rather than a funeral for the Uchiha, but what she doesn’t understand is why her mother is included in that service. Shouldn’t her mother be separate? She was no Uchiha after all, there was no reason to burn her body. She had nothing special about her, nothing others would want from her corpse…that she knew of anyways.

She had so many questions. She wished her mother was still here, she wished she could _ask_ her…but she couldn’t, and the knowledge took the breath out of her. The only thing she could do was think of cool clear water falling from open fingers until eventually, her chest rose again of its own volition. She was getting quite good at reaching that place where everything bad and terrible in the world could just slip right through her without touching her, like water through a sieve.

Soon it would be the only thing she thought of—that flowing water. Maybe she’d think of it so often her chakra would become water itself, and then she’d just go down a drain into the river and float away on it…

Himeko grasped her shoulder, grounding her and stopping her gradual leaning. She hadn’t realized she’d been slowly tilting sideways.

“Are you alright?” She whispered without looking away from the service being held in front of them. Sakura patted her hand in acknowledgment but gave no real answer.

She wasn’t alright.

Mother was gone, and her secrets with her, all that was left of her were ashes and the strange seal on her forehead. Inner was gone too, leaving her emotions running wild and out of control within her. 

And her father…Sakura looked over at him, standing several feet away with a clenched jaw and wet eyes. He wouldn’t look at her, no matter how hard she tried to catch his eyes.

Himeko’s hand on her shoulder squeezed, and Sakura wondered why it wasn’t Kizashi’s. 

She thought back to a few days earlier, when she'd sat rooted in place with a hand around her neck too tight. She had regretted getting an answer to her question then...would she regret this one as well?

Would it be better to stay just like this? In that strange place between hope and despair, between the question and the answer, where she could still convince herself that things would be alright? 

She shook herself from the maudlin thoughts. She was being ridiculous. Everything  _would_ be alright. After the funeral, after things had calmed down, everything would go back to normal...

 

—

 

After the funeral was over, they didn’t return to the hospital, and they didn’t go home either. Instead, Kizashi took her mother’s urn at the end of the Hokage’s speech—one on remembrance, respect and mourning the lost—and then he turned and left. 

Behind him, several people crowded around to speak to the Hokage, and Sakura tried her best to keep sight of her father through the throng. Had he not realized she wasn’t just behind him? 

Sakura ran after him, breaking from Himeko’s grip, and weaving desperately through the mourning crowd of villagers and shinobi clansmen to reach him. He didn’t stop when she reached him, and in fact, seemed to be walking _faster._

It was only when she grabbed the edge of his sleeve that he froze, and she noticed then that he was shaking.

Behind her, Himeko cried out her name, but she was too tall to weave through the crowd of people and reach them quickly. Her father wouldn’t look at her, even when she walked around to stand right in front of him and tried desperately to meet his eyes.

She wished now more than ever that she could say something, anything to him. She didn’t understand, why was he acting like this? Why wouldn’t he look at her? Why was he acting like some…some stranger?

He began to pull away from her, turning to leave, and she panicked.

“D-dadd-y…” She wheezed out quietly, hoping she was close enough that he could hear her painful attempt at speaking.

He froze again, and she gripped his sleeve tighter, heart pounding. He wouldn’t look at her. Then—

“You’re not my daughter.”

He tried to move away again, even wrenching his sleeve from her tiny hand, but Sakura shook her head, confused. She was sure she must have heard wrong, she was sure it was just the crowd of voices around them playing tricks with her ears.

She ran after him once more, finally breaking from the crowd of people. She reached for his sleeve again, but he pulled it away before she could grasp it. He still wouldn’t look at her, and Sakura felt her breath quicken with desperation.

She just wanted him to _look_ at her. She just wanted him to stop walking away and _look at her._

Finally, she could take no more, and she rand in front of him and flung herself at him. She wrapped her arms tight around his midsection, just as she had this morning, but this time he didn’t freeze as he had then.

No, this time he grasped her shoulders and wrenched her form from his body. She startled at the abruptness of the gesture but caught herself before she could fall back into the mud. She looked up with hurt eyes, blinking tears away and near hyperventilating.

This time he couldn’t avoid it, and Sakura almost rejoiced at realizing he was finally _finally_ looking at her. But her happiness fell to her feet quickly, for he was not looking at her in the way she’d wanted him too.

“You’re not my daughter!” He said again, with eyes burning with anger and sadness and…and _blame._

“I always suspected, with how quickly you were born after we married…and what with that—that _pink_ hair, unlike any in the Haruno family and certainly not like your mothers'. And you were so _strange_ sometimes, speaking to some imaginary _thing_ in your head and always so obsessed with becoming a kunoichi…I only insisted on it because I figured it would keep you uninterested in the family business…at least while I still had my… _doubts._ ”

Shaking, Sakura watched his eyes drift up to land on her forehead, looking at the seal there like it betrayed him.

“I hoped it wasn’t true, I wanted so badly for it not to be but—but then she—she _admitted_ it. She admitted our life together had all been a lie.” His lips thinned, “I thought, I really did, I thought I could get over it. I went west, to stay with family, to _think_. I needed _time_ …and finally…finally, I told myself, I’d come home and I’d pretend it never happened. I loved her. I _loved_ her and the life we’d built, and everything else didn’t matter.”

Sakura took a step towards him. Kizashi took a step away.

“But then…then I come back. I come back and she’s _gone_?” He shook his head. “No. No, I can’t do this. I just can’t. I’m sorry. You’re not my daughter, and she’s _gone, gone because of you._ ”

With a twist of his face, he was turning his back on her and walking away from her. Sakura didn’t follow him this time. She couldn’t. The water she tried imagining flowing through her fingers was still and frozen, cracking with every breath, and she couldn’t move.

She didn’t know how long she stood there, breath like lead in her chest, watching the figure of her father walk away from her without a backward glance…

The words were echoing in her head on repeat, and she could think of nothing else.

_You’re not my daughter._

__You’re not my daughter!_ _

___You’re not my daughter._ _ _

Suddenly, that strange dream came back to her, as it kept seeming to. The same one she had so valiantly tried to brush away into the dark corners of her mind every time she remembered it.

_“You’re not my dad.”_

_“No? Who am I then?”_

A vague feeling started in her gut, like the burning of your hands after touching something hot. But she couldn’t pull away, and the heat only intensified, burning through her stomach and up her throat, scorching everything in its path, melting that frozen water until it was boiling in the pit of her stomach.

It was a feeling of betrayal. Betrayal by the last person she would have ever thought would do such a thing, the only person she was sure would _never_ turn his back on her.

_“You’re not my daughter”_

_“—she admitted it. She admitted our life together had all been a lie.”_

_“Was your mother a kunoichi? Was she the one who put the seal on you?”_

_Was_ her whole life a lie? Was _everything_ a lie? 

Every time her father had called her ‘Saachan.’ Every time he’d told her he loved her. Every time her mother had shown disdain for the shinobi life. Every time she’d told her stories of her civilian childhood, of her deceased family of tailors.

Was any of it real?

Sakura _hated_ it, hated how _angry_ she felt. But she couldn’t seem to stop it. She couldn’t seem to _move._

“Sakura-chan?”

A quiet, soft, voice called from behind her and that boiling anger slowed to a simmer. Sakura knew who it was. The cadence was so different than she was used to, so gentle and hesitant where usually there was only loud confidence.

Ino.

She still didn't’ move, and she heard the squish of feet in the mud as Ino drew closer to her. It was only when she stood before her that she found the strength to focus her eyes on her.

“I-I heard what happened..my dad didn’t want to tell me at first, but—but I made him because you were gone and—” She was holding a bouquet of flowers in her hands, two of them to be exact. Ino shoved one of them out toward her in offering. 

Sakura took it with numb fingers and blank eyes.

“…I’m—I’m sorry that…I’m sorry.”

The words were stilted, unsure but heavy with what Sakura thought was sincerity. In between the silence, in between that strange moment of hesitance, there were unspoken words that hovered like a cloud in the air between them.

She was sorry she asked Sakura to bring the flowers to Uchiha Sasuke. She was sorry it had all come to this terrible mess—

But was she really? Or was Ino a lie too?

“Sakura-chan?” Ino asked again with that _concern_ in her voice. She _sounded_ worried anyway, and Sakura realized as she looked at the bouquet she held that she was shaking. She was clenching the flowers so tightly they were sure to be a mess of ruined and broken stems beneath the wrapping paper.

“Are you alright?” With one hand, Ino reached out towards Sakura. In her other hand, the second bouquet of flowers was still held, and Sakura could just make out a note nestled within the flowers.

It was addressed to Sasuke-kun.

_“—she’s gone, gone because of you.”_

That burning anger overtook her again.

“Wha—?!”

Ino gave a startled cry as she was shoved back, and she must have been so startled that she didn’t even attempt to catch herself. Sakura loomed above her, breathing heavily through her clenched teeth. She stared hard at the flowers Ino had dropped beside her, and memories flashed before her eyes of another fallen bouquet.

Only that one had been stained with blood, rather than mud.

Ino looked up at her from the wet ground, terrified at whatever she saw on her face. Her fear only made her angrier, and before she knew it Sakura was ripping the flowers in her hands to shreds and stomping the petals into the earth.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to rave. She wanted to sob. 

But she didn’t—instead, she just ran. She turned her back on what was once her best friend, and she didn’t look back. But still, the image of Ino sitting frozen on the ground, clothes muddy and eyes tearful stuck in her mind. 

Despite this, Sakura couldn’t bring herself to care enough to look back. She knew soon her father would come and find her, wipe her tears, and take her home to a warm meal and a hot shower.

Just that morning Sakura had thought that was how her own day would end…But she’d been wrong hadn’t she? It seemed she had been wrong about everything. 

It made her wonder…what other lies had she taken as undeniable truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Lots of melodrama huh? Don't worry, things lighten up next chapter! The worst is behind her...for now. ;)


	4. Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the original chapter got too long and I had to split it in two, so I'm not entirely happy with this one...which is why I'm posting it a little early. If I keep if for any longer I'll just keep editing and adding things and who knows maybe delete it all or throw my computer into a dark abyss to be eaten by giant centipedes that live off of the works of frustrated writers.

_“She wasn't sad anymore, she was numb. And numb, she knew, was somehow worse."_

-Atticus

—

 

She was sitting in the Hokage’s office, feeling utterly numb to the world.

The Hokage cleared his throat, age creased eyes looking at her with such _pity_. Even Himeko had an obvious look of pity on her face, and that was saying something considering how often she seemed to look perpetually blank and polite. 

“Sakura-chan.” The Hokage’s gravely voice broke the silence. She wished he hadn’t. She wished she could just drown in this silence, never to hear another word of bad news ever again.

“Haruno Kizashi…has disowned you from the Haruno family.” The Hokage gave a disappointed sigh. “He told me of his decision when he arrived a few days ago to settle things with the family home and your mothers funeral…”

She didn’t miss the implication of the Hokage’s words—if her father had arrived a few days ago, then he hadn’t actually been late…meaning Himeko must have lied to her. Was it to spare her feelings? Or did everyone just _like_ keeping her in dark?

Sakura forced herself to think only of the dresses she’d need to throw out now, all the ones with the Haruno crest on them. She very purposefully did not think of setting them on fire. 

“I had hoped...upon seeing you he would change his mind. But it appears my hopes were unfounded...”

She considered signing ‘Why,’ her fingers curling into position by her side, pinky and thumb out. But she never raised her hand, never actually asked the question. She knew the answer after all, new why she was being disowned...asking would just be masochistic.

“I tried to make him reconsider or course, but he was immovable in his decision. Grief can do terrible things to a person.”

The Hokages’ voice came in and out of her consciousness, like a muffled conversation that suddenly became clear for a single moment when the door opened. Her mind went back to that day her father—Kizashi—had left for his ‘merchant trip’ west…the fight he and mother had had, of which Sakura had only heard distant sounds of through her closed door. 

She hadn’t thought much of it then, her mother had been so calm, so insistent that everything was fine and they’d just had a little spat…

_“I loved her. I loved her and the life we’d built, and everything else didn’t matter.”_

But he hadn’t loved her? She was part of that ‘everything else’ that didn’t matter? Was blood really so important that he would abandon her, the girl he’d raised? 

“In most cases of…parental loss, the child would either be taken in by a relative, or stay in their family home and use their inheritance to support themselves, until such a time as they graduate the academy or join a trade.” There was a troubled look in the Hokage’s eye when Sakura finally looked up. “Unfortunately…Haruno Kizashi has decided to sell the house. Everything besides your own personal belongings will be sold by the weeks end, the proceeds of which will be your inheritance.”

Sakura felt her stomach drop. He’d left her practically nothing. She had no where to go. Would the money earned from the sale of their house be enough to pay for an apartment, food and supplies? for the academy fees? Would she be kicked out if they weren't? Perhaps…perhaps if she begged enough the Hokage would let her take some D ranks to make money?

Her mind went to Uchiha Sasuke, and she felt a curl of resentment. She was sure he would never need to worry about such things.

“It's likely the money from the sale could support your basic needs for some time, but considering the costs of the academy…I think it would be best if you stayed at the orphanage." From beside the Hokage, Himeko finally broke her stalwart silence to give her some advice.

"That way, your inheritance would go to keeping you in the academy, and the orphanage will feed and clothe you with village funds until such a time that you graduate and can take on missions to support yourself. From what you’re teachers have to say, I have faith that will be no issue at all.”

The orphanage…Sakura grimaced. She’d always thought they were a bit lucky, having no parents to boss them around, as much as she’d also pitied them. 

Now look at her. She was the one being pitied. And suddenly, what she’d always seen as restrictions...now looked like support.

Her only consolation was that both Himeko and the Hokage seemed to have no doubt in her abilities to graduate. That often wasn’t the case for civilian born students. Already she’d seen several of her civilian born classmates fail to activate their chakra coils and be transferred to trade schools.

She’d never had a problem controlling or activating her chakra so it hadn’t mattered much to her then, but she realized now that perhaps it had been unfair to her classmates considering how little help they’d gotten.

“—does that sound alright, Sakura-chan?”

Sakura startled out of her reverie, realizing she’d completely missed what the Hokage had been saying. She blinked rapidly at the kindly face that stared at her expectantly, before taking a chance and hesitantly nodding. 

“Good, good.” The Hokage sighed, and then looked at her knowingly. “I’ll tell Hatake-san to meet you at the hospital within the hour then. That should give you enough time to get to your old home, pack whatever you wish to take, and arrive at the orphanage by 5. You’ll have a week to settle in before the academy starts back up for the year.”

His words were said very purposefully, as if reiterating something already said, and Sakura blushed to realize her day dreaming had been noticed. With red cheeks she nodded once more in acknowledgment. With a kind smile the Hokage nodded to Himeko, who took her from the room and lead her with a firm hand on her back out of the Hokage tower and towards the hospital.

He’d assigned her someone to help her bring her things to the orphanage, perhaps someone in the genin corps doing a D rank? 

Before, she would have been excited to meet a real shinobi in person, even a low ranking one, but now stomach turned a bit at the thought. The only thing she could focus on was the fact that, by this evening, she’d be rid of her lonely hospital room and its familiar white walls she’d come to despise. Instead she'd be in an orphanage, surrounded by kids she couldn't talk to and walls she wasn't familiar with.

And then, in just a week, she’d be back at the academy learning to be a kunoichi—learning Konoha Standard.

She should be happy. She wasn’t.

She remember how just that morning she’d considered dropping out and joining her father in his worldly travels as a merchant…she seemed so naive to herself now. Even if…if her father hadn’t…well, after the funeral she’d realized that the Hokage probably wouldn’t have let her go back to being just a regular civilian anyway. 

Would things be different if she’d taken her inheritance and refused to go back to the academy? Would they have forced her Kizashi to stay her legal guardian? Would they even have allowed it?

She thought of the Uchiha, whose body had been burned immediately to destroy their eyes, the dead given no wake, of how her mothers corpse had been burned with them—perhaps to get rid of the evidence she’d ever been there… 

…she thought of the seal on her forehead that everyone refused to tell her much about.

With a clear head, she now realized _she_ would likely be one of those whose body was given no wake. Like the Uchiha. Like her mother. She’d just be ashes. 

Would they scatter her on the wind? On the water? Bury her in the ground? She wasn’t sure why she was thinking such thoughts, she realized it was rather morbid of her. 

Perhaps it was just that the possibility of her death seemed a much better topic to think about than the reality of her life at the moment.

 

—

 

In the end, she didn’t even get to return to the hospital as ‘Hatake-san’ met her a ways outside the Hokage’s tower—Himeko seemed surprised to see him there.

"Hatake-san, you're...suspiciously early." Himeko murmured with a weary look between him and Sakura. 

She realized immediately that she'd been wrong to assume they'd assigned her a genin. She knew there were adult genins of course, those that stayed in the Corps their whole lives, but this guy...there was just no way. Even with his carefree slouch and casual clothes, his entire presence entirely negated the idea that he was anything less than a Jounin.

"Hmm, I have no idea what you would be suggesting medic-san."  Hatake-san said as he dismissed both their curious stares in favor of pulling out a little orange book, a book which made Himeko blush and look away. "It would be quite unprofessional of a shinobi to be late while carrying out a personal request from the Hokage."

"Of course, how rude of me." Himeko smiled at him politely as he casually turned the page of his book.  "For a moment I assumed perhaps Hokage-sama told you to pick her up an hour ago in order to get you here on time. It appears I was mistaken." 

The shinobi's hand froze on the page minutely, but Himeko's polite smile never wavered.

Sakura looked between them curiously, but the moment was over quickly and Himeko looked away from Hatake-san to meet her eyes.

"This is goodbye then, Sakura-san." Himeko patted her shoulder, her smile a little more real now. "Your chakra coils seemed fully healed last I checked, but please remember to wait at least another week before attempting to mold your chakra as a precaution."

Sakura sighed and nodded, feeling surprisingly disappointed at the polite farewell from the woman. With a furrowed brow, she tried to remember how to sign in Standard what she wished to ask.

'See you again?' It was a rather poor attempt at sentence structure, and her sign for 'see' was completely made up and consisted of just pointing to her eyes, but it got the point across.

"Perhaps...but now that you no longer need my specialized medical attention I suspect we won't be meeting again for some time." Himeko said softly, "And once you start the academy next week, you'll have no need for my lessons in Standard."

Sakura stared at the ground as she nodded, she pulled at the scarf around her neck so it more securely covered it. It was summer, but Himeko had refused to let her leave the hospital with the bandage around her neck. She'd given her the lightweight scarf instead to cover it before her father had arrived that morning.

'Goodbye.' She signed finally without looking up.

It was an easy sign to remember, just the opening and closing of a frontward facing hand. It felt less final than actually saying the words. 

"Goodbye, Sakura-san. I wish you the best in your endeavors."

Sakura barely had a moment after that to look back at Himeko before Hatake-san was rushing her away from the tower and leading her along the streets of Konoha. He was taking her back to her home—to her old home. She knew the way of course, but she was still glad we was leading her. The streets all seemed so foreign to her now, despite the fact that she'd lived and walked among them her whole life.

Her father wasn’t there when she and her shinobi shadow arrived, and she was both grateful and struck numb with grief at the sight of the empty home. She carefully did not look at the 'For Sale' sign hanging on the door.

The shinobi behind her stayed at the door reading his little orange book, sloped to one side precariously like some strange scarecrow guarding a field of crops instead of her. She left him there and entered the house, wrinkling her nose at the smell.

It’d been a week and a half, and no one had come to clean the house out yet—that much was obvious from the smell of rotting fruit left on the table and the festering garbage that her mother had forgotten to take out before leaving that night.

She ignored it and went up the stairs to her room. Methodically she took her clothes out and began folding them to put in her bag. She left the dresses and shirts with the Haruno symbol her mother had stitched into it. She left anything red. 

When she left her room her bag was hardly full at all, but she didn’t care much. She took photos of them all as a family, even though it hurt to look at the man in them who’d turned his back on her so easily. She took them for her mother, she told herself.

When she finished she had hardly anything to leave with. A bag full of pictures that she kept separate from a box of books and academy supplies, in which there was also underwear, hygiene necessities, a couple outfits, and her mothers favorite sweater. She knew it didn’t fit her, that it would literally fall to her knees if she wore it, but she also couldn’t bear the thought of leaving it behind when it still smelt of her.

She stopped at the entrance door, the box of her things at her feet, the last bits of her old life all there in front of her. 

She turned to look back at everything she was leaving behind. The living room her mother would sit and sew in, the kitchen with her mothers apron still draped across a chair, the stairs she'd once tried to slide down on a sled.

This was the last she'd see of it. Soon it would be sold and some new family would move in and fill it with their own, hopefully happy, memories.

She gave it a long look, remembering all the good memories made there, trying her best to keep that pure feeling of home locked deep in her chest, seperate from all that had happened. But slowly, the tainted water leaked in, and all those memories suddenly felt more bitter than sweet.

Sakura looked at every corner and wall and saw lies instead of smiles. And yet, despite the pain associated with them now, she still tried to hold on to those happy carefree memories. Letting them go, letting this house go, felt like letting go of her mother.

In the end, she couldn't do it. She couldn't let go of the feelings of anger, of bitterness, and keep the ones of happiness and love. They were inseparable.

So she did the only thing she could do. She let them both go. She let all the feelings, good and bad, fall through her fingers until she was left with nothing. 

She said goodbye to her old home without feeling. And then, numb, she picked up her box and left.

—

 

Hatake-san glanced sidelong at her from behind his book when she lugged her things through the door with just a little difficulty. She slid the box carefully down the front steps while she carried the bag full of pictures separately so they wouldn't break.

“Maa…not much to carry.” He drawled, and Sakura nodded. “A burgeoning kunoichi like you…probably doesn't even need me to carry anything, ne?”

She looked at him slowly, the blankness she'd felt upon leaving the house keeping her from feeling much more than a bit incredulous. 

Was he seriously expecting her to carry that huge box full of books and clothes all the way to the orphanage? He continued to smile that ridiculous smile at her, not making a single move to pick up the box for her.

He was.

Unbelievable.

With a huff she put the bag on top of the box and then crouched to pick it up. She hefted it up with a grimace, promising herself that she would do more strength training in the future.

She made it maybe 10 feet before a sudden feeling of vertigo assaulted her, leaving her so off balance she nearly fell on her behind. When she caught herself and regained her feet she looked to the side in confusion, where the shinobi now carried her things in one hand, the other still holding his little orange book.

“Such a cute little academy student,” He said with a ruffle of her hair with the hand holding the book. “You looked like a puppy trying to carry a bone too big for it’s body.”

He took a peek into the box he held and Sakura grit her teeth as his eye widened in surprise. Suddenly, that carefully cultivated blankness dissipated, leaving her horrified at both the intrusion of her privacy as well as the thought that she might have accidentally left something embarrassing at the top of the box.

_Please_ kami, let her have packed her underwear at the bottom…

“Hm? What’s this?” Hatake-san looked over at her with an overly gleeful smile. “You _are_ just like a puppy! You even use the same shampoo as one.”

He suddenly held up her pink shampoo bottle as if it clarified anything.

What.

She stood in shock for a moment as he leisurely walked past her, likely growing bored with her slack jawed look. 

_ That shampoo was for humans! It smelt like strawberries and sunshine and it was not for dogs!  _

To make matters worse, without Ino’s ribbon holding it back, her pink hair fell into her eyes as he reached over and ruffled her bangs. All she could do was tuck it behind her ears and do her best to smooth it down as she hurried to catch up with the man.

When she did…his only response was to mess it up again, with a hand too quick to slap away. 

She didn’t like him, she decided, even if she did feel better now, or at least less painfully numb, than she had before.

No one messed with her hair but her.

 

—

 

When she arrived at the orphanage she had fixed her hair four times and was about two seconds from throwing caution to the wind and kicking the annoying slouching shinobi in the nuts with a mental shout of what was once Inner's favorite catch phrase.

Thankfully she was stopped before she could do something so incredibly rude by the caretaker of the orphanage stepping out to welcome them.

As the man—a civilian with dark hair and dark eyes that was incredibly nondescript—took her things inside, she looked at the building with sharp eyes. 

It wasn’t...terrible. 

It was an old building on the edge of a large copse of trees, likely from the early days of Konoha, and was made of dark wooden beams in a traditional style. The roof tiles and windows were perhaps a bit worse for wear, but there was a little garden of flowers out front that cheered the place significantly. She decided she didn’t hate it, but only because she was tired of being angry after the day she'd had—even her aggravating shinobi pack mule was only awarded a tiny slice of annoyance.

Speaking of, the man seemed to have appeared directly in front of her. She nearly bit her tongue in surprise, and seriously had to restrain herself from just…kicking him. This was a lot easier when Inner was still there…

“Maa, Sakura-chan, this is goodbye then.” He reached out to ruffle her bangs but she side stepped him. 

Somehow her bangs still ended up messy.

“Ah, before I leave, I have something for you.”

With a rustle in his pocket the shinobi pulled something from his pocket and held it out to her. She moved forward in interest and then, her eyes widening in sudden recognition, she took the object from his hand quickly.

“You recognize it?”

She nodded, looking at him as if he were daft. Of course she recognized it.

“It was your mothers?” He pressed, and Sakura nodded again, distractedly. 

It was her mothers ring, an ‘heirloom’ she’d said. Sakura had never questioned her further on it, assuming it was from her mothers deceased side of the family. Now she wasn’t so certain, but it was too late ask wasn’t it?

How had she forgotten it? She remembered staring at it so often, the one always around her mothers neck, in that pretty glass necklace…what had happened to the rest of it? Why was there only the ring left?

She looked up at the silver haired man in askance, but she had no real way of expressing what she wanted to ask, and he was no mind reader. The little she’d managed to learn of Konoha Standard from Himeko were mainly greetings and basic everyday nouns. 

He likely wouldn’t tell her anyways. Or he’d lie. She was learning rather quickly that seemed to be everyone’s favorite thing to do in Konoha. She let the question slip away as she put the ring on her finger.

A shiver went through her as she twisted the ring, and her heart beat in rhythm to each turn. It looked so…right, on her hand. So…familiar, but in a way that reached beyond the fact it was her mothers ring. 

Something about it turning and twisting there on her finger, around and around in a continuous cycle…it gave her an itch. Like a word on the tip of her tongue that she’d forgotten, or a dream that becomes more intangible the harder she tries to grasp at its details.

Sakura stopped twisting the ring.

_…a dream._

She shook her head and looked away from the ring. It didn’t matter anyways. She had this, this one piece of her mother, and that was enough.

She thought it was weird how closely the man watched her, his eyes seemingly glued to her hand, but shrugged it off. He was obviously a pretty weird guy. Who walks around with only one eye showing all day and reading _that_ book of all books? 

Yeah _._ She knew what that book was. 

She’d seen that exact book under her mother pillow once and read it in curiosity…she’d gotten two sentences in before she’d thrown the book across the room as if it were on fire…like her face had been.

She shuddered. Someone who could read that in public with a straight face…yeah, they must be weird.

 

—

 

“Hokage-sama”

With an incline of his head the Hokage acknowledged Hatake Kakashi’s presence. He’d slipped in through the window as usual…even though it was midday. 

“Kakashi-san. There is a door you realize?”

“Maa, but the window is so much easier…”

With a smirk Hiruzen turned in his chair to look at the slouching man by the window. He held a report that dearly needed his attention, but he had a hunch that the information the Hatake had for him would be just as worthy of it.

“I searched the Haruno household. There wasn’t much there of interest, just standard civilian personal items, and Haruno Kizashi had already come by and taken his things. I further observed that the information from the academy on Sakura’s progress as a shinobi are accurate—high level of intelligence, but not much in the way of physical stamina. She seems to be dealing with the events of the past weeks rather well...all things considered. Perhaps a small amount of emotional detachment.” Kakashi began once Hiruzen set down the report, putting his own orange book into his pocket.

The Hokage sighed. He'd seen the 'emotional detachment' in the girl that Kakashi spoke of, and he wouldn't say it was a 'small' amount but...the ANBU member had always had a different standard on such things. Still, it wasn't a terrible thing to have in this business.

“Also…I gave the girl the ring. It was just as I suspected…only she can put it on.”

Hiruzen raised a brow in surprise, and Kakashi continued.

“The ring…I tried my best to expand the ring's seals after you gave it to me, to attempt to discover what it's purpose was. Every attempt at putting it on or activating it with chakra was repelled….violently.” Kakashi rubbed wearily at his wrist with a sigh. “Unfortunately for my poor wrist.”

“Hm, yes, I’m sure that’s the only reason your wrist hurts.” The Hokage agreed sagely.

Kakashi gave a startled cough, and Hiruzen couldn’t help but chuckle around his pipe. The boy needed to loosen up more. He’d been too serious as of late…

“Ah Hokage-sama, of course you of all people would understand…” Kakashi said, smiling unassumingly as Hiruzen choked on a lungful of smoke. 

“…because of all the paperwork of course…”

“Of course…” The Hokage muttered with a glare.

He never could get the last word in with him…

“…and about the ring?” Hiruzen said, regaining his composure. 

“I can’t be sure, but I believe the ring’s seals have a…key so to speak. It absorbs just a bit of chakra whenever someone comes in contact with the seals on the inside of the ring, and if it’s not the correct chakra then, like I said before, it repels it.” 

“It’s much like a barrier seal then, with chakra signatures keyed in to only allow certain people in, or in this case to activate it…although those usually involve some kind of blood seal as well.” Hiruzen mused.

“Yes, it’s commonly the case with Uzumaki seals. It's not completely unheard of for a seal to require a key to activate or even expand it to see it's contents. Sensei's Hiraishin seals worked much the same way and were completely individual to the user, mostly to prevent someone from altering it or stealing it to use against him.”

The Hokage hummed in thought. It was an intriguing mystery, perhaps even a dangerous one, but the ring was just one part of the puzzle to the girl previously known as Haruno Sakura. And his disappointing conversation with Haruno Kizashi had been frustratingly unenlightening. He needed to be careful with his investigation into this matter, lest his interest become obvious. He was a man with many eyes on him, and he couldn't let his investigation lead to curiosity from those that would see her as a threat to security...even if she may very well be.

“What have you found out about her mother?”

“Civilian, born in Konoha from a family of tailors. Maiden name Minami, as in ‘south,’ it’s likely a name her parents took on when they immigrated to Konoha during the Second Shinobi War seeking protection, as they were from the south of Fire Country, near the land of Wave they said. There’s no record of the town they claimed to come from in their immigration records…it’s entirely possible they came from the Land of Whirlpools, although it’s highly doubtful they were Uzumaki.”

“Are you certain on that assessment?” Hiruzen said in surprise. After all, her mother’s family being Uzumaki would tick several boxes. Perhaps they just lied about being civilians to avoid being involved in more bloodshed during the war?

“Records of the family show no signs or red hair, or any other Uzumaki signifiers.” Kakashi said with a shake of his head. 

“The autopsy done on the mother before her cremation proved her chakra coils were small, and practically unused. It’s surprising that they were activated at all but…there’s no way someone of Uzumaki descent would have such small chakra levels, even if they had been raised as a civilian. The same could possibly be said about the girl, considering her own small reserves, although she's young. They could develop further to the levels that might indicate Uzumaki heritage...although it's unlikely.”

“I see…and the husband?” 

“Haruno Kizashi is from a merchant family, born and raised in west Fire Country. From all accounts his family has run their merchant operation there going back several generations. He met Minami Mebuki on a trip to sell wheat in Konoha, where one month later he suddenly decided to stay and marry her, likely due to an unplanned pregnancy. There’s no evidence of any shinobi heritage in his family.”

“Yes, that sounds about right.” Hiruzen sighed. “And of course, with Haruno Kizashi himself telling us than Sakura-chan is not his daughter, we can only assume she has a seal master for a father somewhere out there who gave that seal to her mother and taught her how to activate it…”

“That was my conclusion as well, Hokage-sama.” Kakashi scratched his cheek and sighed. “Although there’s no way to know who he is now that the mother is dead. We have no further leads beyond the ring.”

“Ah, what a mess…” The Hokage murmured. “For now, I want you to assign a member of your squad to watch her at the orphanage, perhaps Cat? Keep an eye on the seal, but more importantly, keep an eye on anyone who shows too much interest in her.”

“Surely assigning her a guard will bring more attention in itself? Especially one such as...Cat.”

“The very goal of ANBU is to go unnoticed is it not?” Hiruzen said with a raised brow. “Besides, one more ANBU guarding that orphanage won’t raise any eyebrows...If anyone asks, say Cat is there for Naruto-kun.”

“…Yes Hokage-sama.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not a lot happened in this one but as I said before it got a bit too long and didn't quite fit with the second half of the chapter so I split it in two. I had fun writing Kakashi being a troll though lol. Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also, a big shout out to Queen_Of_Cloudcuckoo_Land for guessing that Sakura was going to the orphanage and Naruto would be there-which I couldn't comment on before this went up, but which is obviously confirmed in this chapter.
> 
> My reviewers are so smart :)  
> ...or am I just too predictable? Hmmmm....


	5. Orphanage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a prose heavy chapter everyone...I know it's rough when there's not a lot of dialogue, but it's necessary until she and her peers learn more standard :(  
> Plus, without the ability to converse with people I do feel like she would become a lot more introspective.

_ "Cold tea and cold rice are bearable, but not cold looks and cold words." _

-Unknown, Proverb

 

—

 

“Sakura. Just Sakura” Thats how they’d introduced her. She knew it was true, she was no longer a Haruno after all, but it didn’t stop the words from feeling like a dull knife in her side.

She stood there feeling gutted in front of a slew of other orphans approximately her age, all of whose names and faces she’d been too overwhelmed to take when introduced. She adjusted the scarf around her neck and anxiety crawled into her throat, all of their faces a massive blur before her.  Thankfully, she’d arrived just in time for dinner, and so none of the kids seemed particularly interested in her. They were much more interested in the food that the caretaker was laying out on several low tables at the front of the room.

She’d quickly realized after being given a tour of the orphanage that the place was not a single large house as she’d first assumed. It was actually comprised of several smaller ones, all connected by narrow halls. Each house grouped children of similar age with one caretaker, who slept off the side in a private room.

There were no raised beds, only tatami mats and traditional futons, the bath was small, shared, and the kitchen looked archaic. Off the side was a private room and bath specifically for the caretaker of their house, and beside his door was a row of floor to ceiling cabinets for their personal items.

It was the most old fashioned place Sakura had ever been in, even more so than when she and her mother had visited that onsen on the outskirts of Konoha, beyond the walls. She didn’t mind it though…it was kind of nice in a way, to be somewhere that didn’t remind her of home and all she’d lost.

Although, as she eyed the dusty futons in the corner of her new home, she  _did_  think she’d miss her old bed.

After the tour, she’d been left with her houses’ ‘caretaker.’ He’d introduced himself as Nakamura Hideo, and the first thing he’d done was lay down the rules—and the consequences for breaking them.

“Breakfast is at 7. If you miss it, you’re out of luck. This is an efficient household, and we don’t keep leftovers here. You can find a bento for lunch and dinner made for you, laid out here, every morning and evening. That is, unless you break the rules—we don’t take trouble makers lightly. Curfew is 8pm—if you’re not here you get no dinner—and the doors lock, so good luck getting in.” The caretaker huffed and gestured to the wooden beam that locked the sliding door, one which looked like it had taken a bit of battering in the past.

“Also—lights out at 9, that means no talking, no giggling, no snacking and no  _fooling around_. Am I understood?”

Sakura nodded, but he didn’t seem to be looking at her anyways. He was always looking at the house itself, inspecting the beams for cracks, the sliding doors for tears, and the tatami mats for scuff marks. His eye was constantly roving over every corner of the building, one whose history he seemed to love regaling in between his lectures on the rules. It seemed it was the old summer home of the first hokage and his wife, donated and made into an orphanage upon their deaths, according to their wishes.

As much as Sakura loved learning about the history of things...she did get a little bored after he started in on how 'building's these days just aren't built the same,' and elaborating in length on why the post and beam structure was superior. He seemed to her to be less of a caretaker for the  _residents_  of the orphanage, and more a caretaker for the actual  _building_. 

_That_ had been rather obvious to her from the moment he’d introduced her to the rest of the occupants of the house and completely failed to mention the fact that she couldn’t  _speak_.

And now, here she stood in front of a group of her peers knowing that if one of them tried to speak to her, she would throw up. The fact of her muteness had never felt more real than it did now, where there was no one who understood what little Standard she knew, and no time to sit and write out what she wanted to say.

Would it really have been so hard for him to just say that one thing? To just tell the other kids she couldn’t speak? Then at least they might be more understanding when she pulled out a notebook…or maybe they wouldn’t try to speak to her at all.

She wouldn’t mind that necessarily...

In the end, she didn’t have to worry about anyone speaking to her, for as soon as the caretaker finished setting out the food for dinner there was no time for talking, only chaos.

It seemed a mad rush of disappearing food, moving tables and sharp elbows. They had a rather informal style of dinner, as it was a one room house, so everyone ate together on the floor around low tables—tables which many of the kids moved to their liking.

They all sat down at their tables holding individual boxes with their names on them, which Sakura found interesting. She supposed it prevented some children from getting more than others, which might happen if the food was laid out all together. But then...it could also mean the favorites received the best food couldn't it?

Eventually, after being jostled twice by the crowd, Sakura just stood at the back and waited for the crowd to settle down before she got her own food. It was then that she realized they all seemed to be falling easily into small, segregated, groups around the room. And as things settled down…Sakura also realized she had no idea where  _she_ would sit.

With a sigh, Sakura shuffled over to the food table and took the box that had her name scrawled on it. There were no empty tables left, and she wasn’t brave enough to meet the eye of anyone to attempt to join a group. Not to mention she couldn’t speak…which, again, the caretaker had very  _helpfully_  forgotten to mention to the other kids when introducing her.

It was like lunch at the academy all over again. Only this time, she had no Ino to call her over, to draw her in and give her a seat. She was all alone here.

After standing frozen for a good amount of time, Sakura looked over to where Nakamura sat eating his own dinner, waiting until he looked up and made eye contact. He stared at her as he chewed, and she tried her best to convey her request to sit with him without words.

She looked around the room, she looked at the empty space at his table, and then she gave her best attempt at a smile (it was a rather twitchy nervous thing, but she’d tried her best).

The caretaker huffed incredulously, and then shifted his body a quarter turn and went back to his food.

She couldn’t believe it. He’d  _literally_  turned his back to her. What a stand up guy he was.

She’d been wrong before, this was even worse than at the academy. At least the teachers there had let her down easy when she’d tried to eat lunch with them, saying she needed to  _‘make friends her own age’_.

Finally, with a dejected sigh, she settled on sitting down in the corner of the room, away from the rest of the kids, and opening her box of food. It smelled heavenly, steaming up as soon as the lid was off. She could almost forgive the caretaker his obvious jerkiness with how good of a cook he was.

And when she said good cook…she meant  _really_  good cook. Perfectly breaded shrimp tempura, hot fluffy white rice, a juicy soft boiled egg, tangy pickled vegetables, and what tasted like homemade ginger soy sauce.

She felt guilty admitting it was better than anything her mother had ever made her, and she wondered vaguely if he was friends with the Akimichi. Any time she’d hung out with Ino and Chouji was there, his lunch had always looked like it was made by a professional cook.

She shook her head ruefully at the thought—it was obvious this guy couldn’t be a friend of Akimichi’s. They’d always struck her as the most kind hearted people she’d ever met…always so helpful and understanding even when they had no real need to be.

And Nakamura Nakamura was quite obviously not that sort of person, despite also not being overtly  _mean_ either…

“So you’re name’s Sakura, huh?” A loud voice interrupted her thoughts. “I've seen ya around somewhere before…”

Sakura jerked, looking up in surprise as someone sat down in front of her. Someone who was…very familiar, but who she couldn't place in her jumbled mind.

It was a blond boy who’d spoken, sitting down in front of her with his mouth full of rice and Sakura wrinkled her nose at the disgusting display. Hadn’t anyone taught him it was impolite to eat with your mouth full?

“Don’t ya go to the academy?” The boy said with eyes so squinted he looked almost like a fox. Suddenly he snapped his fingers. “Yeah! I think we’re in the same class! My names Uzumaki Naruto, ‘attebayo!”

Frozen, Sakura stared at the boy in front of her in sudden recognition as he continued to ramble on. It’d been two months since she’d last been at the academy, and so much had happened…she hadn’t recognized him immediately. He was right, they were in the same class—she knew exactly who he was.

And she knew she wasn’t supposed to talk to him.

When Sakura looked around, the eyes she’d been so afraid to meet were all suddenly staring indiscriminately at her. It seemed everyone else knew that fact too, as suddenly Uzumaki Naruto’s loud voice was the only one that could be heard in the entire room. 

“Are ya excited to go back next week?” Naruto asked suddenly, still shoving rice into his mouth. “I am, but ‘m not too…I like all the fun stuff like kunai throwing, and sparring, but all those  _booooks,_ ugh. Hey! Now that you live here, maybe _we_ could spar sometime—”

Suddenly, a clearing of a throat behind Sakura interrupted him. 

“Ah, sorry Naruto, Sakura-chan’s already agreed to spar with us. You’ll have to find someone else, ne?”

A dark haired girl suddenly appeared beside Sakura’s shoulder, and as she looked over at her she saw Naruto’s face drop in disappointment. The girl was smiling at her, and she vaguely recognized her as being from a class a year above her in the academy…she’d been introduced to her when she arrived too hadn’t she? She was the oldest in their house, and so the one with the most authority out of all the residents besides Nakamura.

Her mother would be horrified at the social faux pas…but she honestly couldn’t remember her name…or remember talking to her, let along agreeing to spar with her.

“EH? But she just got here, when did—” The blonde haired boy suddenly stopped himself, a dark look crossing his face briefly before it cleared suddenly. He looked up then and gave a stunningly fake smile to them both. “Well, if she’s joining you guys, maybe I could join too—”

“You know the rules, Naruto.” The dark haired girl gave a nervous laugh as she glanced over her shoulder at Nakamura, who was scowling over at them. “You’re not allowed to join us ever since you destroyed the roof that one time…”

“But—I  _told_ you that wasn’t  _me_.” Naruto’s face got suddenly red, “It was that weirdo who thinks  _frogs_ are scary—Daisuke or whatever! And anyways that was last  _year_ , can’t I just—!”

“Naruto, that’s enough!” Nakamura said tightly from his place in the corner, startling everyone.`

“Tenten is right. She knows a punishment is a punishment, and a rule is a rule. That won’t change just because  _you_ want it too, is that clear?”

“…Yes, Nakamura-san.” Naruto grumbled as he looked down, expression hard.

The girl at her shoulder, Tenten she assumed, shuffled in discomfort at the sudden tension in the air. Sakura couldn’t help but hunch in on herself at the pervasive feeling of a room full of eyes watching her, unsure of how she was supposed to react in this situation.

Finally, as Nakamura went back to eating his own meal, the rest of the room seemed to follow suit and the tension broke. Even Naruto seemed to be idly picking at his bowl of rice and egg.

Sakura took a bite out of a piece of tempura from her own bowl, stopping at the sudden realization of how different she and Naruto’s dinners were. He had rice, which looked rather cold and hard, a dry looking egg and a few veggies pushed off to the side. And she…she had a veritable feast in comparison.

Sakura put down her piece of tempura, feeling guilt and confusion settle in her stomach.

Tenten cleared her throat and gave Sakura a sweet smile.

“So…Sakura-chan, I should introduce you to the other two academy students who’ll be joining us for spars this week!” The bun haired girl broke the silence cheerfully. “They’re both in my academy year, so I doubt you’ve met them.”

And with a single nod, Sakura found herself hastily grabbing her dinner as she was pulled by Tenten to where two others were sitting around a low table. She only had a brief moment to look behind her at the hunched form of Naruto before she was hastily being introduced to them.

“This is Daisuke-kun and Taka-chan. Everyone, this is Sakura-chan! Oh! Right, you already knew that obviously…since she was just introduced and all…” Tenten chuckled a little as the two gave her a look.

Sakura raised her brows at the name ‘Daisuke.’ He was the one who was afraid of frogs? What a strange thing to be afraid of…frogs were harmless. She glanced back at Naruto, still sullenly eating his meal, and Daisuke seemed to make the connection, as he immediately scowled.

“Don’t listen to that idiot, I’m not afraid of frogs! He just made that up to get out of trouble…” The boy said with a glare over at Naruto, who looked up just in time to glare equally fiercely back.

“Well!” Tenten interrupted with a chirp, “Now that we all know each other—Sakura-chan will be joining us for practice tomorrow. We’ll finally have another sparring partner close to our age—now we wont have to spar with the older, taller kids!”

Suddenly realizing she was being rude, Sakura gave them all a polite bow—partly in greeting and partly in thanks for ‘inviting’ her. It was perfectly poised, just as her mother had always taught her to do when she wanted to make a good impression.

She froze half way up when muffled laughter followed the act.

“Jeez, what are we, the daimyo’s kids?” Daisuke, snorted. “No need to bow, you weirdo.”

“Daisuke!” Tenten reprimanded him, dropping the usual suffix in her anger, and Sakura blushed deeply, “Just because you were raised without manners doesn’t mean everyone was.”

“Whatever…I was raised right here, just like the rest of you.” Daisuke wrinkled his nose. “Just because she had parents to teach her that stuff doesn’t make her better than us.”

Sakura flinched, and Tenten and Taka looked at the boy in clear anger. Daisuke just grabbed his empty dinnerware and wisely left the table before either of the girls could slam his head into it.

“Ah, Sakura-chan, don’t pay attention to him.” Taka said as she glared after the boy. “He’s always had a bit of a chip on his shoulder. It doesn't help that he's always getting second best to that clan kid at the academy...”

Sakura gave a small nod, keeping her head down and avoiding eye contact. The boys attitude had suddenly reminded her of her earlier anxiety—which wasn’t made any better by Tentens obvious interest in her. It didn’t help that she couldn’t write and eat dinner at the same time…not that she was sure she was confident enough to even pull out her pad of paper in this environment. She had no idea how she going to navigate an actual conversation with the two girls...

“So…I’ve seen you around at the academy, but where in Konoha are you from?”

Silence. Sakura stared at Tenten in panic, who shuffled at the sudden awkwardness.

“Ah, well…I mean was it East Konoha? South? The civilian district?”

With a relieved sigh, Sakura nodded her head at the last one, causing the mildly uncomfortable look on Tenten’s face to vanish.

“Oh, the civilian district, really? Wow!” Tenten and Taka both looked at her forehead then, and Sakura suddenly realized the seal there must look like clan facial markings. Which would maybe explain Daisuke's behavior towards her. 

“I always heard it was hard for civilian born kids to get in because they weren’t born with active chakra coils like those with shinobi parents.”

Sakura nodded absentmindedly. It was true, she knew, although she’d never had any trouble using her chakra…she wondered now about what that meant.

"So, what made you want to join the academy instead of a trade school?”

Silence again. As it stretched, Tenten looked more than mildly uncomfortable this time, and Taka suddenly looked like she was trying to eat her dinner as fast as possible. Sakura kept her head down and her mouth full, aware of her cheeks burning brightly.

She knew it was an easily solved problem but…but she just couldn’t bring herself to take the notepad out. It was a strange mix of crippling shyness and societal embarrassment that seemed to keep it firmly in her pocket.

“Um…okay, well, I wanted to join because it’s my dream to become a legendary kunoichi like Tsunade-sama! Have you heard of her? She’s one of the legendary Sannin!”

Sakura gave a tentative nod, but then there was only silence again. Tenten gave a nervous laugh, and Taka fidgeted next to her awkwardly.

...it was a long dinner.

 

—

 

Sakura’s first night at the orphanage goes by in a blur after dinner ends, and before she knows it she’s folding out her futon and getting ready for bed with all the other children.

“Psst!”

Sakura turned to look over her shoulder. Tenten looked back at her, the source of the whisper, as she set up her futon beside hers.

“I just wanted to say…sorry if I was a bit pushy earlier.” The girl whispered with an apologetic look. “It’s just not everyday we get a new person here! And someone who goes to the academy too!”

Tenten pulled her blanket up around her chin with a smile, and Sakura noticed her buns were loose around her face. She looked much older like that, although the overly excited look on her face took away from the illusion somewhat.

“Oh and…about that practice. I kinda didn’t give you a choice there did I? Sorry! It’s just me getting excited again. So…I mean…you don’t actually have to join us, but…do you want to?”

Sakura hesitated before she nodded, frowning a bit at how Tenten had so easily skimmed over the fact that she’d  _lied_  about inviting her to train earlier. But still, she hadn’t realized the end of the summer break was already so near…and she was quite out of practice, all things considered. Some taijutsu practice would do her good.

She found she was eager for the first day of the academy to come faster. Anything to give her something to focus on besides the shear quiet of her mind…and after this evenings dinner she was more than eager to start learning Konoha Standard again.

The dark haired girl smiled at her but Sakura couldn’t force her own lips to return it. Her face felt wooden, and it must have looked it for soon the girls smile dropped uncertainly.

“Well…um. Glad you’ll be there! It’s always good to have another person our age to train with. The older kids in the other houses aren’t much fun, they always win after all.” She whispered and laughed a bit.

“Anyways, we meet in the courtyard before dinner—”

With a slam, the door to Nakamura’s adjoined room opened. The caretaker poked his head out with narrowed eyes.

“Who’s talking in here?”

The dark haired girl jumped, and then rolled over and quickly feigned sleep—so quickly in fact that Sakura almost got whiplash. Still, she scrambled to do the same, the mans strict rules running through her head.

“Naruto! What have I said about lights out?”

“What! It wasn’t me, it was that bun haired girl, ‘attebayo!”

“Che. Don’t try to lie to me, Tenten knows the rules better than anyone—no breakfast for you tomorrow.” The caretaker slid shut the door with a bang, ignoring the outraged noises Naruto made. “And if I hear even one more peep out of you, there’ll be no lunch either!”

Quickly, silence reigned and Sakura stared at the shadowy outline of Tenten's back in shock. Tenten seemed relaxed, her breathing a steady rise and fall, truly seeming to be asleep. Behind her the boy who’d taken the fall gave an annoyed grumble that was barely audible but, as close as he was, she could hear the wobble in it.

Sakura swallowed, her throat feeling tight. A part of her wanted to get up right then and tell Nakamura that it hadn’t been Naruto at all, and it was the same part of her that had felt guilty all through dinner. The other part of her…wanted to keep her head down and forget she could hear his sniffling behind her.

Her mother had always stared at him as he left the academy with narrowed eyes, and the one time she’d found them all playing together at the academy fields had resulted in a lecture the likes of which she could never forget. The next day the rest of the kids in her class seemed to know enough to avoid him, and she did the same.

She hadn’t been in the orphanage for long, and it wasn’t surprising it was the same here as it was at the academy but…for some reason it left her feeling more guilty than it had before. After all, this was supposed to be their home wasn’t it?  _Her_ home? And a home was supposed to be…safe, warm and comfortable, with people who cared about you. No one hear seemed to care much at all for Naruto, if his lacking dinner was any indication...

She’d never thought much about  _why_  they shouldn’t hang around with Naruto, although when she  _did_  think on it her mother’s words would always be forefront in her mind.

_He’s trouble! Stay away from him or you’ll be dragged into trouble too, understand?_

She’d always just left it at that. After all, she was a good student and good daughter, and she didn’t want to do anything that would change that. She didn’t want to do anything that would get her in trouble...and he certainly had gotten into a lot of trouble with the teachers at the academy.

But just then he hadn’t done anything at all, had he?

How many other times had he gotten in trouble for doing nothing?

She should be grateful that Tenten had approached her, that she’d offered to  _include_ her even. Only Ino had ever really done so, and often she had wished she could make friends as easy as she did. But…as she’d listened to her lie to Naruto’s face, as she’d watched the girl turn over and say nothing as he was blamed, even if that person was someone she herself had ignored in the past…she hadn’t felt grateful in the least.

Could she really condemn someone for doing the very things she herself had done in the past?

She wanted to say yes, that her blatant ignoring of him at the academy was different. That every time she’d seen him ask to join a group and be refused, every time she’d seen him retreat to that swing all alone, or assumed he was a troublemaker without any real proof…that was different than this.

But…the words felt wrong in her head. They felt like lies.

She didn’t know what to think.

So she let her thoughts become water and slip away, drifting down that stream, into the realm of sleep, weightless and numb.

 

—

 

That night, she dreamt of Naruto.

He was alone. Alone and calling for help in a dark place.

All around him were people whose eyes slipped right over him. In the crowd she noticed Tenten, Daisuke, Taka, Nakamura, the teachers at the academy…even herself. Their backs were turned to Naruto, unmoved by his cries for help.

She watched in horror as the figure of a man appeared behind his small form, shrouded in shadow except for the hauntingly familiar mask upon his face. The orange of it’s spiral nearly glowed in the dark.

Sakura tried to call out, tried to move to get the attention of the people around him, even tried to get that strange, blank faced, version of herself to turn around. But her hands swept right through them like water, and she couldn’t speak. She was nothing but a statue helplessly watching.

Slowly, the masked man placed a kunai against Naruto’s throat. He turned, struggling.

Silently, she screamed and, in front of her, Naruto looked directly at her. His eyes were so full of life, so full of emotion and fear…

…and then they weren’t.

No one in the crowd seemed to care as he fell to the ground, his throat slit…not even herself.

 

—

 

Tenten didn’t know what to do about the new girl in the orphanage.

She’d extended an olive branch—it wasn’t often that they got new people at the orphanage after all, and they needed to stick together—and it appeared as if she had taken it. She’d shown up to their practice, face still miserably wooden and blank as it had been before, but she had shown up. That was the most positive thing she could say about that practice though.

The first thing she’d noticed was how utterly behind she was in taijutsu. She’d had high hopes that, even though she was a year younger than them, she’d be a better sparring partner than the older, taller kids from the other houses. Those hopes were pretty quickly dashed.

Getting beat by your opponent every time was no fun, but  _beating_  your opponent every time was, in Tenten’s opinion, worse. Sakura was even worse at taijutsu than Naruto, which was saying something. Although, she did admit that Naruto could probably beat them  _all_  when it came to stamina at least.

Sakura didn’t talk either—not even a little—and it was weirding everybody out. Mostly Daisuke but, after awhile, even the older kids from the other houses started looking at her strangely. And once they all got weirded out, well…they started treating her like she was…weird. Which means…not nicely.

“What are you, deaf?”

“Maybe she’s just dumb?”

“Haha, yeah are you just  _dumb_  Sakura- _chan_?”

“Or maybe we’re just not cool enough to talk to, eh?”

Sakura’s eyes were wide and her mouth gaped open, and Tenten felt a surge of intense guilt as she looked at the girl, obviously overwhelmed. Maybe she had invited her too early? Maybe she needed more time before being thrown into talking to people. She’d seen just the other night how painfully shy the girl was…she shouldn’t have pressured her into coming.

“Everyone, c’mon, she’s just shy!" Tenten said with a smile, waving off the looks of her peers, "Give her some space!”

That seemed to stop them thankfully, but when Tenten looked over to give Sakura a smile she had to hide her grimace. The blank look on her face really was rather disturbing when it appeared…she certainly didn’t remember her being like that before, the few times she’d crossed her path at the academy. She always remembered her smiling actually.

“Ah...Sakura-chan, it’s okay, they’ll come around.” Tenten offered awkwardly. “Don’t feel pressured to talk before you want to, ne?”

Sakura didn’t respond.

As they all went back to practicing with their respective sparring partners, Tenten decided to give her some space and kept from asking her any questions for the rest of their spar—she didn’t want to overwhelm her again. Tenten thought it was for the best that she didn’t approach her again at lunch either, for the same reason. Although she would continue to spar with her the rest of the week—she wouldn't want her to end up sparring with Daisuke, he'd wipe the floor with her. Perhaps she’d make a point to tell the other kids to give her some space to settle in as well?

No one seemed to notice how, over the next few days, the rest of the kids were less ‘giving her her space’ and more ‘completely ignoring her.’

Well, Tenten may not have noticed…but Naruto did.

 

—

 

She missed Ino, Sakura realized as she ate her lunch a distance away from the other kids. She was ignoring her half eaten food as she stared down at the red ribbon in her hands, entranced by how it looked wrapped around the ring she still wore around her tiny finger.

They were eating outside today, as the sun was bright and hot and kept the dirt courtyard from being it’s usual muddy self. Sakura was looking forward to a practice where her clothes didn’t get covered in mud after one knockdown.

It was obvious now after the last seven days of taijutsu practice with them that she was not wanted at any of the tables set out at meal time. They only seemed to want her at practice so they wouldn’t have to spar against the older academy students at the orphanage, who lived in the other houses and whom seemed  _plenty_  happy to go all out against them. She knew she was a much easier sparring partner than them.

Daisuke especially seemed to appreciate beating her - which wasn’t surprising really considering he had a burgeoning surliness that could rival that of Nakamura’s. Thankfully Tenten seemed keen to keep him from sparring with her too much...if she hadn't Sakura knew she'd be much more bruised and sore than she was now.

She wished the caretaker had explained things to everyone, then maybe she wouldn't be in this situation. But then he didn’t seem to care much about what happened in the orphanage, besides giving them all food and strictly enforcing his rules. Well..that and he always seemed to watch their practices strangely… _intensely._ Especially Daisuke's, which wasn't really unusual since he was the best of them, even against the older kids.

She’d tried once herself to explain, but had only ended up with crumpled up pieces of paper in the end. She just couldn’t seem to find a good way to write it without it sounding terrible or ridiculous…

Somehow writing ‘my throat was slit, and now I can’t speak’ and handing it out like a calling card didn’t seem like the right approach. Not to mention she wasn’t sure she even  _could_ write it down without tearing the note to pieces. She could barely think the words without wanting to punch something.

Even Tenten, the girl who had approached her first, would now only smile tightly at her and go about her business. The only one who seemed even slightly interested in her was that Naruto kid, but she always looked away when he caught her eye in clear invitation to sit with him. It felt like a kick in the gut every time though.

Her mother had said he was a trouble maker…and despite that initial day’s impressions—that perhaps he was just always falsely accused—Naruto ended up living up to that moniker. The number of pranks he pulled over the past week had made that very clear, although in her opinion they were always harmless...or well deserved.

Sakura had always thought being a ‘trouble maker’ was a bad thing but…perhaps the world needed a trouble maker sometimes, if it put bullies in their place. It was certainly better than being a  _liar_ just avoid standing out and getting in trouble. Naruto it seemed, never lied about who he was, always so _real_ in all his actions, even when those actions got him dishwashing duty for an entire week.

Plus…she had to admit, that one prank he’d pulled the other day had been pretty funny.

He’d apparently found a way to sneak into Nakamura’s room while he was sleeping and slip two rotten eggs into his slippers…the look on his face as he’d frozen in the doorway had  _mostly_ been worth the terrible smell. Sakura had actually found herself genuinely  _laughing_ for the first time since she’d woken up.

Her lips twitched up at the memory as she twisted the red ribbon around her fingers, appreciating how the sun shone off of it in waves as it moved.

She missed Ino, who’d always talked for her when she was too shy, but who’d always pushed her to speak her mind and be confident…Ino, who she'd pushed away, who'd looked at her with hurt and  _fear._

She’d been angry at her, hadn’t she?

…was she still angry?

It was a question she couldn’t really answer, even now, the day before she'd return to the academy and see Ino once again. Every time she’d thought she’d gotten ahold of her emotions, every time she'd succeeded in finding that calm, blank, place within herself, her emotions would spring up like a geyser without warning. It was exhausting.

“Hey, forehead!”

Sakura’s hand automatically went to cover her forehead as she looked up. She should have realized that awful nickname would come back now that she had two giant circles on her forehead—they were practically targets screaming to be shot at. Somehow she wasn’t surprised to see it was Daisuke who'd called her that. 

Daisuke, who was afraid of frogs, at least according to Naruto's taunting, and who she often thought looked like one too. 

“You may have Tenten fooled that you’re just ‘shy’ but you don’t fool me.” He said, his eyes beady and hard, a face only made harsher by the scowl on it. No one seemed to notice them in their shady corner, all absorbed in their lunches and conversations, or sun bathing on the porch that surrounded the inner courtyard.

“You look down on us don’t you?” Daisuke suddenly said. “That’s why you wont talk to us. You think you’re better than us just ‘cuz you had parents longer than us? Us whose parents died in the Kyuubi attack?”

_…what?_

Sakura could only stare at him in blank confusion. Where had he gotten that idea? Was he just actively trying to find ways to dislike her? She tried shaking her head to dissuade him from the idea, but suddenly he was moving towards her and knocking her bento from her hands into the dirt.

“Tch. Not so better now, huh?” Daisuke said with a childish smirk, as Sakura sat frozen on the ground. As he turned to leave, he kicked a bit more dirt into her spoiled lunch and then—

—and then, abruptly, he was in the dirt himself, with an angry blur of orange and yellow standing behind him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing you bastard!” Naruto cried, loud enough to split ear drums. “You don’t waste food like that!”

A wave of deja vu rolled over the pink haired girl, pushing away all that blankness she’d worked so hard to cultivate.

There she was, sitting on the ground with a blond haired blue eyed savior in front of her, standing up to her bullies for her—it was like that day she’d met Ino all over again.

She’d never felt so pathetic.  She’d never felt so grateful.

“Y-you! You’re not supposed to swear! Or shove people!” Daisuke retorted back as he pushed himself off the ground. And then he turned and looked towards the door leading into the house, and suddenly Sakura knew what he intended to do.

“Nakamura-san!” The boy shouted, “Nakamura-san, Naruto is pushing people!”

As the Nakamura came out, eyes landing on the two angry boys and sticking to Naruto like glue, Sakura realized she’d been wrong before.

This was nothing like that day with Ino.

Because that day, Ino had told their parents her side of the story when the bullies she'd scared away tattled to the teachers. They’d believed her over the girls that had bullied her, they had even praised Ino for standing up to them in defense of a friend, even if it  _had_  resulted in Ino scaring them away with threats of violence.

She had a feeling that wouldn’t be the case for Naruto.

“Naruto! Causing trouble again already?" With a scowl the Nakamura stomped over the the now belligerent Naruto and firmly gripped him by the ear, proceeding to drag him inside as he tried to argue in his defense. "What, was one week of dishwashing duty not enough after your little prank yesterday?”

“He started it!" Naruto yelled, floundering against the superhuman hold the caretaker had on his ear, "He knocked Sakura-chan’s food in the dirt, and he was bein’ real mean ‘attebayo!”

“That’s enough! Che, always so much trouble…and now you’re lying on top of that? Oh, you’ll be doing the dishes for the next  _month_ , Naruto, _b_ _elieve it._ ”

“I-I’m not lying, just ask Sakura-chan!”

With a thunk the door slid shut, but the walls were thin enough that she could hear their muffled voices arguing inside. It had all happened so _fast,_ and so there Sakura stood with fists clenched, shaking and feeling utterly  _helpless_.

Nakamura hadn't even looked back at Sakura, despite her immediately standing in hopes that he would. She wished she could call out in his defense, get his attention without him needing to be looking at her, but any noise she made would hardly be over a whisper.

That’s all she ever was wasn’t it?  _Helpless._

Around them the other kids seemed to be looking anywhere but at them, and the boy who had so rudely shoved her food to the ground had never looked so smug as he walked back to his lunch.

She could feel a geyser of anger building in her stomach. It pushed out all her social anxiety, all the cares she had for what people thought of her and how she conducted herself, all the hopes she had for making new friends, all the fear of standing out and getting in trouble…

She stood, eyes burning into the back of Daisuke's head, and her feet moved without her even realizing it.

She imagined it fiercely in her mind, going up to him and kicking him right in the back with a  _‘Shannaro!'_ that would make Inner proud if she were still here. She imagined the look on his face, on all the kids innocent little faces, forcing all of them to take notice of what had happened.

How could they just sit there and pretend that hadn't just happened? How could they just  _ignore_ —

She stopped, just feet away from the boy she’d just imagined pushing into the dirt. Suddenly, that terrible image from her dream came to the forefront of her mind. The same dream she’d been having all week, of Naruto lying there calling for help as everyone around him did nothing…until it was too late to do anything at all.

She knew how they could just ignore it. After all, hadn’t she done the same thing before at the academy? She’d been ignoring Naruto all along, and thinking it was right. But it wasn’t right. None of this was right.

She narrowed her eyes as she looked away from Daisuke’s very kickable back and towards Tenten. Somehow she’d thought at least she would say something, but then she hadn’t before had she? Well, at least she looked guilty, and she didn’t think she’d noticed what Daisuke had done until Naruto had caused a commotion.

What was that saying her mother always liked to quote?

_“The nail that sticks out gets pounded down.”_

It was a quote Sakura had always taken to heart, and she’d done her best to push all the negative and impolite parts of her down to avoid them being hammered down by someone else. Inner had always been there to take those parts of her, to hold them and keep them from bubbling to the surface, so she could present to the world the perfect polite wallflower her parents had wanted her to be.

But a hammer could pull a nail up as much as it could pound it down couldn't it? 

All this time Sakura had thought she could be nothing but a nail...maybe it was about time she became the  _hammer._

With a stiff breath in and out, Sakura turned away completely from the group. Kicking Daisuke would only get her in just as much trouble as Naruto was in—as much as it would satisfy that part of her that was simmering with anger at the injustice of it all — and then the jerk would _really_ win.   
  
No, she had a better idea. One that she thought Naruto would appreciate the most.

But first…she had to find a pond.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be too angry at Tenten, she's just a kid following the example of her peers and authority figures, same as Sakura always did before.
> 
> Also, I know it's more 'fanon' than fact that Naruto went to the orphanage, but I refuse to believe he lived on his own his entire life. Because the Hokage didn't want him ostracized from his peers (hence the 'no telling anyone about the kyuubi' rule to the younger generation) so why would he isolate him from them like that so young? Eventually he'll live on his own, but I firmly believe he lived in some kind of orphanage at least until he was 7 or 8, no matter what the anime suggests. 
> 
> Also...what do you think Sakura is going to do to get back at Daisuke?? Can't wait to see what everyone thought of this chapter! 
> 
> (Sorry for the long A/N)


	6. Academy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, has it really been almost a month? Yikes.
> 
> Well, take a bit of fluff and friendship to make up for it. Just a little though ;)

_ "Make new friends, but keep the old; those are silver, these are gold." _

\- Joseph Perry

 

Naruto wasn’t at dinner that night, but Sakura had expected that. Instead, she ate as little as she could and snuck as much as she thought she could get away with into her pocket. She hid a grimace at the feeling of the pieces of hot breaded pork sitting in her pocket, but it had to be done. 

_Croooooaak_

Sakura froze. From a few feet away, Daisuke froze too.

“Did…did you guys hear that?” The boy said as he turned to the two girls eating beside him.

Taka looked at him in confusion as she shook her head, and Daisuke looked around with suspicious eyes.

“You didn’t hear it?” He suddenly whispered to Taka, and Sakura was just barely close enough to hear it. “It-it sounded like a… _frog._ ”

“Really? A _frog?_ ” Tenten snorted with a sly smile. “We’re _inside_ Daisuke-kun. And besides, what do you care if there’s a frog in here, I thought you weren’t _afraid_ of them?”

“I-I’m not!” Daisuke sputtered, and Sakura let out a breath as he stopped inspecting the area for wayward amphibians. “I was just-just worried about you two! Y’know, being girls and all…I figured you’d be freaked out if you woke up with a frog in your hair of something…”

“Oh, right, I forgot. My worst nightmare is my _hair_ getting messed up. ‘Cuz that’s what kunoichi worry about.” Tenten said with a sniff. “Tsunade-sama has slugs for summons, and she’s the best kunoichi there is! I’m sure _she_ likes frogs, so why shouldn’t I?”

“Ugh, here we go again.” Daisuke said with roll of his eyes, adopting a falsetto suddenly, “Oh, my name's Tenten and I love frogs, did you know Tsunade-sama loves frogs too? We have so much in common!”

Tenten and Taka narrowed their eyes at him, and Sakura gave a deep sigh of relief as the conversation shifted away from frogs and towards just how ‘stupid boys were,’ and how Tenten definitely ‘didn’t sound like that at all!’

The pink haired girl slipped another piece of fried pork into her left pocket and,  tried her best to make as much noise as possible to cover any more… _strange_ noises.

After dinner was over, Tenten tried to approach her as they were bringing their dishes to the kitchen, but this time—rather than tentatively engage with her as best she could—she outright ignored her. After awhile, she gave up and left her alone and, for once, Sakura was glad for it.

It wasn’t until they were folding out their futon’s for the night that Sakura saw Naruto again, setting up in the corner as far away from the rest of the group as he could get. His eyes were red and puffy, but he still smiled when he saw her approaching.

‘Thank you.’ She signed it slowly and with feeling, grateful for his standing up for her earlier. It was a simple touch of her hand to her lips, and then away. 

She did it despite knowing he wouldn’t understand it, and when he gave her a confused look she felt her lips twitch up into a smile for the second time that week. Then she started setting up her futon next to his. It was pretty adorable when his eyes scrunched up even further in confusion, he really did look like a fox like that.

“Light’s out!”

The declaration seemed to stop the boy from saying anything to her, and when the lights switched off she turned over and made eye contact with him. His stomach growled so loud she was sure everyone in the room could hear it.

She’d intended to wait until everyone was asleep but…he just looked so hungry that she couldn’t help but pull out the napkin wrapped food from her pocket immediately. It was worth it for the look on his face.

He reached out for it tentatively, like he was afraid it would disappear, and the sheer happiness on his face made her forget that she’d hardly ate any of her own dinner and _none_ of her ruined lunch.

When he was done stuffing his face he grinned—looking like he was about to say something loud and grateful to her—and she panicked. She reached out lightning quick and placed a finger over his crumb covered mouth in the universal sign for silence. 

Thankfully he seemed to get it, nodding over enthusiastically as he quickly settled down beneath his crumb covered blanket. As Sakura watched him fall asleep with a smile on his face she thought to herself how much better she felt now, listening to his loud snores fill the room, than she had one week ago listening to him sniffle behind her after being wrongfully blamed. 

She closed her eyes then, but she didn’t follow him into sleep. She wasn’t even sure she could, not only because of her plans but also at the realization that her reprieve was over. 

Tomorrow was the first day back at the academy. 

The summer exam break was over, the senior students will have graduated or come back for another year. The new students would be starting their first day at the academy, having passed the entry tests. And she…she would go back for her second year, see all her classmates, her teachers, her…well. She wasn’t sure she could say ‘friends’ considering but…

She peaked an eye open at Naruto’s slack face beside her, a bubble precariously emerging from his nostril. She wrinkled her nose at the sight, but somehow managed to find it slightly endearing.

She hoped that after tomorrow…at the very least she could consider Naruto a friend. Would he even want to be friends with someone who couldn’t talk back to him?  She pushed the thought aside, as well as the usual anxiety that came with thinking about her muteness. She needed to stay focused.

She had an early morning tomorrow...she absolutely needed to wake before everyone else in the house.

Finally, she let herself drift off to sleep. There were no dreams of a dying Naruto that night, no shadowy figure in an orange mask…she slept soundly and peacefully for the first time all week, a smile on her face.

 

—

 

“Eeeek!!”

Everyone turned at once at the high pitched squeal, to find a green faced Daisuke cowering away from his shoes. Several of the other kids looked at their own shoes wearily, but found nothing particularly frightening about them. 

“There—there’s a frog in my shoe!” Daisuke cried in horror. “Someone put a-a disgusting, slimy, wet, _frog_ in my shoe!”

As if to punctuate his remark, there was a low warbling croak that issued from his shoe. From the opening of the shoe a wet green froggy head poked out, it’s large body firmly tied within the shoe by it’s laces. Well…technically it was a toad, but Sakura didn’t think most people would know the difference. 

Sakura was quite proud of herself for catching one that big, but also felt a bit bad for it. It probably just wanted to get back to its nice slimy pond and slimy wife and kids…wait, did toads have wives and kids? Was the toad even a guy? She didn’t even know how she’d check that honestly…

Again the toad croaked, attempting to jump out, but it was held fast by the shoes laces. It squished delightfully within the soaked shoe, which was also covered in green algae and obviously ruined.

It only took one snort, one which Sakura herself couldn’t keep in any longer. One snort, and suddenly the whole row of children were laughing at the green faced boy staring at the toad filled shoe in horror.

“Daisuke, you look as green as the frog!” Naruto said, and Daisuke’s face switched from green to red in a moment.

Next to her Naruto could hardly breath he was laughing so hard, and when Sakura looked over at him…she suddenly realized she was too. Her little snort had turned into a chuckle, and her chuckle into a laugh, and then suddenly she was laughing so hard she was crying actually, her side cramping and breath wheezing.

Sure, it wasn’t the most _creative_ of pranks, nothing on any of Naruto’s elaborate ones, and most definitely influenced by the last prank she'd seen him pull but still…for her first one Sakura thought she’d done a pretty good job. 

Daisuke ran out of the house, his sodden shoes held aloft as he tried to get the amphibian out of his shoe without actually touching it. His theatrics and obvious revulsion only set off all the kids even more. Naruto regained his breath enough to sit up from where he’d been rolling on the floor as the rest of the kids followed Daisuke out into the yard to tease him further about it.

“Whoever put that frog there was a genius!” Naruto said with a wheeze, seemingly to himself. “Aw man…why didn’t I think of that? And anyways who doesn’t like frogs? They’re awesome!”

Sakura blushed a little at his words of praise, even though he didn’t realize they were indirectly about her. Then, she nudged him in the side with her elbow. He looked at her in confusion, so she raised one eyebrow and then held up her own shoes with a little shake. They were covered in mud. She topped it off with a little smile and a finger to the lips in a shushing motion.

It took him a bit longer than she thought it would, with him looking between her, the shoes, and Daisuke. But when he did get it…Naruto’s eyes got so wide they looked as if someone took a magnifying glass to them.

“You?!” He shouted, and Sakura quickly clasped her hands around his mouth. 

Thankfully the rest of the kids were much too busy with Daisuke to pay attention to them. Sakura glanced over at the door leading to the shared bath and kitchen where Nakamura was finishing making bento boxes for everyone, but relaxed after he didn’t slam through the door immediately. He was always especially intolerant of loud voices in the morning.

“Shhh.” Sakura shushed with a smile, surprised at how natural it felt on her face. When she took her hands from his mouth, she was nearly blinded by the grin he gave her. She didn’t think she could smile like that even _before_ she’d come to the orphanage.

“That was awesome!” Naruto ‘whispered’ at her and she flinched a bit. He wasn’t quiet, not at all, and even his whispers were more of a shout.

Where once she might have found it irritating, Sakura found she didn’t mind it now. She was quiet enough for the both of them, and it was nice to have someone else fill that silence.

“But, y’know…we should probably get out of here before—”

“ _What_ is going on out here?!”

There was a slam, and then Nakamura Hideo came out from the kitchen, a scowl and the usual table stacked with lunch boxes in his arms. He set it down with a clang as he peered out the sliding door of the house at the chaos in the courtyard. Sakura hadn’t realized that she and Naruto were the only ones left inside the house, or just how loud Daisuke had become in his attempts to refute the other kids teasing.

Sakura jumped as Naruto suddenly grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards the other side of the room. She could just faintly hear Nakamura begin in on a lecture of the importance of quiet in the morning as he joined the rest of the kids in the courtyard.

As quietly as possible Naruto opened the sliding door, the one that led out into the hall where the shared bath and kitchen was. He pulled her along with him, turning only once they were out and the door shut behind them.

“That was great Sakura-chan—but if there’s one thing ya gotta know about pranks…” Naruto sniggered as he ran ahead of her, “…it’s when to leave the crime scene! Now c’mon, before he realizes you’re gone!”

Sakura snorted, although she thought privately to herself that leaving only made her look more guilty…still it was getting late, and they did have to get to the academy soon or they’d be late—

Wide eyed Sakura stopped suddenly. The academy. She didn’t have any of her books! Or her lunch! Naruto continued on down the hall a ways ahead of her, turning only when he realized she wasn’t following. It obviously hadn’t occurred to him that he hadn’t planned their escape through very well.

With a nervous look behind her Sakura held up a single finger to tell him to wait. Then, she turned around and walked back to the door, sliding it open carefully.

“Sakura-chan, we really gotta go!”

Sakura ignored him, slipping inside once she realized Nakamura was still outside. There, just feet away, were the lunches and her backpack of academy books. She tiptoed over as quickly as she could and grabbed their bento’s, stuffing them both in her bag and swinging it over her shoulder.

“Nakamura-san, it’s not my fault!” Daisuke wailed from outside, and when Sakura glanced over she could see he had tears on his face and was still holding his sodden house shoes. Nakamura-san looked red faced and tired, as he always did after a lecture.

“It was Naruto! It had to be!” Daisuke said, voice cracking. “He’s just mad he got caught yesterday!”

Their was a weighted moment of silence after the declaration, and then the caregiver took a long deep breath through his nose, chest puffing up. He shook his head as a look of realization solidified on his face, mouth so tight it nearly disappeared into his jowls.

Sakura couldn't believe it. That _frog faced jerk_ was blaming Naruto, with absolutely no proof? And Nakamura looked like he _believed_ him! She’d just been trying to do the right thing, to teach him a lesson—to finally stand up to a bully that lied and got others in trouble for something _he’d_ done…

“Well, you certainly love putting things in other’s shoes _don’t you_ , Naruto?” Nakamura said as he turned away from Daisuke. 

It was only then that she realized there was another reason Daisuke had assumed it was Naruto, besides spite.

She felt like an _idiot._

With a prank like that...she should have known they’d assume it was Naruto...especially after he’d just put that egg in Nakamura’s shoe not long ago. Why couldn’t she have been more creative with her prank? She should’ve come up with a different way to get back at him!

“It’s too damn early for this nonsense! Was a months worth of dishwashing duties not enough? Am I just being _too lenient_ with you, you little—Naruto?”

Nakamura stopped mid sentence, looking around with narrow eyes as he finally realized Naruto was no where to be found. He turned in a circle, his eyes landing on Sakura still within the house, causing her to startle. His eyes narrowed in on her guilty expression.

“You!” He said, closing the distance between them and grabbing her wrist. “You and that demon brat looked pretty _chummy_ this morning. Where is he?”

Sakura froze in his hold, muscles tense in sudden panic. Then, slowly, her shoulders fell and she took in a deep breath, resolve replacing fear. She couldn’t just sit here and let him take the fall as he’d done before. 

She had to be the hammer, not the nail.

She shook her head and met his eyes squarely.

 

—

 

“No? No you don’t know where he is or no you won’t tell me?” Hideo grumbled as she again refused to answer where that brat Naruto was. He stared her down with a scowl, thinking only that he should have refused the caretaker job all those years ago. He’d rather be alone with his history book any day—they never surprised him, they never caused trouble, and they certainly didn’t cause a ruckus at 7 in the damn morning.

“Fine.” He chuckled, “Fine, if you want to cover for him, go ahead. As long as you don’t mind taking the fall for him too. And don’t think you’ll get punished any less just because it’s your first week here! Get ready to be on laundry duty every day this month—a different house’s laundry each day of the week! Still want to keep silent?”

Sakura didn’t say anything even as he tightened his grip on her wrist, just stared at him with unblinking eyes. He could feel her shaking, though was it from fear, or anger?

No, he realized as the girl suddenly suppressed a smile—was she shaking from holding in _laughter?_

Then, for the first time all week the pink haired girl reached into her pocket and pulled out her notepad. Hideo watched her impatiently, releasing her wrist to allow her to write, his foot tapping the only sound in the silence of the morning beside the scratch of her pencil on the paper.

Behind him, whispers broke out among the children, most likely confused at what she was doing. Finally, she ripped the piece of paper from the pad and held it out to Nakamura who, being short sighted, took it and held it close to his eyes as he read the letter aloud.

_‘Nakamura-san,_

_Please tell Daisuke that what I put in his shoe was not in fact a frog, but a toad. I know he must be very disappointed, but unfortunately it was all I could find in the pond last night…_

_Thanks,_

_Sakura.’_

“You?” Hideo gave a laugh as his words trailed off. “You really expect me to believe that? You look like you could hardly stand to touch a dirty rag, let alone a slimy _—”_

As he looked up the caretaker suddenly realized the space in front of him was empty. A quiet slide of the door had him looking to the back of the room, where Sakura froze halfway out the door.

“Hey! Where do you think you're going?” Hideo yelled, “You think you can jus—HEY! Get back here!”

With a burst of speed, Sakura made a break for it, and Hideo pounded across the tatami mats after her.

With his obvious advantage in stature, Hideo could've easily caught her...but as soon as he put one foot out the door he was doomed. There, masterfully placed, was a single sheet of paper, right on the threshold of the door, and it was there that his foot landed and immediately slipped out from beneath him.

As he landed with a crash, head breaking through the wood and washi paper of the sliding door, he heard the padding of Naruto and Sakura’s feet disappear down the hall as they made their getaway. There was a heavy silence that fell in their wake, and following that silence, a snort, then a giggle—all hastily covered up.

Hideo turned his head as best he could where it stuck out of the broken door to look back at the gaggle of kids and other caretakers behind him, and it only seemed make the situation more funny for the bunch of idiots. His face bloomed red, realizing they must have made enough of a commotion that the other kids and caretakers had peaked their heads out of their houses to see what was going on.

With a growl, Hideo wrenched his head from the now ruined door. Another thing he’d likely have to pay for himself. Every day he had to get up at the ass crack of dawn, sweat through his clothes making these brats’ food, clean up all their messes _—_ and to make matters worse he gets assigned to the house with the one and only demon brat—and now _this_ pink haired annoyance shows up and causes even more trouble…he really hated this job.

He stood with a glare as he brushed himself off, the spectators of the the other houses quickly shutting the doors and disappearing from sight—embarrassed to be caught peeping most likely.

The only good thing he could look forward to was the extra compensation he got for the information he would give to his...secondary employer. _He_ understood his true value at least.

“Alright! That’s enough gaping out of all of you!” He said to the remaining kids gathered in the courtyard. “Don’t you all have schools or the academy to be getting to? Off with you!”

 

—

 

In front of her, Naruto looked confused as she sprinted towards him, and she waved her hand frantically. He only seemed to really get the idea when she caught up to him and grabbed him by the arm as, behind her, Nakamura slipped and crashed backwards through the door.

“Sakura-chan, was that your fault?!” He gave a startled laugh as she pulled him along, head still turned behind him.“Well, he won’t be following us now, that’s for sure! If I’d known you were so good at this, I would’ve asked you to team up ages ago!”

Sakura ignored the fact that if Naruto had asked her to join him in a prank two months ago, she definitely would’ve refused. Instead, she let herself forget, and basked in the moment as it was. She’d done so much worrying lately, done so much _thinking._ It felt good to just _do_ for once.

Sakura was shaking, laughter that she’d held back bubbled up and exploded from her mouth, and Naruto quickly joined her. Blue eyes met green, a wide grin mirrored on both faces, breath labored as they ran away from the orphanage and towards the academy.

Naruto was the leader here, and he took her a way she’d never taken before, something she felt would be a common occurrence with him. As they ran, through alleyways and marketplaces, over an angry merchant’s cabbage stand and under a low foot bridge, she reached out and grabbed his hand. She told herself it was just so she could keep up, so she didn’t get left behind, but it was mostly the shear need to actually _touch_ someone again. 

That part of her that still held all her parents stalwart propriety told her it was embarrassing to hold hands with him in public, but she pushed it away easily. He felt wonderfully solid, and for the first time since she woke up after her mother died…she felt solid too.

After everything that had happened, all the things she’d lost and gained…finally, it felt like things were changing for the better.

 

—

 

“This way, everyone, this way!” A voice called out above the crowds of children. “Form a _line_ please, that’s it—Kiba! No pushing!”

As Ino lined up behind Shikamaru, she looked around with worry. Ahead at the front of their line was their homeroom teacher, Umino Iruka, the same one their class had had since being initiated into the academy at 6.

All around them other classes filed in, all in their own narrow lines, forming one large group in the yard behind the academy. It was the first day of the new academy year, and the usual assembly was being held, where they would initiate the new students into the academy and re-integrate any students that had failed their genin test last year.

Again Ino searched their class’s row of kids, eyes going up and down the line for the fourth time, and ahead of her Shikamaru sighed deeply.

“Ino, would you stop?” He grumbled, “You’re giving me whiplash…literally. Every time you turn to look back you whip me with your hair.”

With a twist of her lips Ino kicks the back of Shikamaru’s heel. “Then move forward a bit if it’s bothering you so much! No one asked you to be so close.”

Shikamaru turned his head to look back at her, seemingly for the sole purpose of making sure she saw his eye roll. Ino ignored him and turned again to search up and down their line, very purposefully making sure her hair hit his face as she did so.

When she faced forward once more with a dejected sigh, she found dark eyes still staring at her. She scowled at him, posing her foot to kick at his heel once more, but Shikamaru just sighed and turned forward again.

“She’ll turn up.” He mumbled, making her deflate. “You shouldn’t worry so much.”

“O-of course she’ll turn up.” Ino said with wavering smile. “Sakura-chan loves the academy…she’d never be late.”

Shikamaru didn’t acknowledge the uncertainty in her voice, but his solid presence in front of her was enough to settle her nerves a bit. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from turning again just moments later as the back door to the academy slammed open.

What ran from the back door into the academy yard was not the familiar pink head of hair that she’d expected, but an annoying blond one, being pushed quickly to the back of the line by their taijutsu instructor, Mizuki.

“Naruto! Hurry up and get to the back of the line—you’re late!” Mizuki said as he shuffled a resisting Naruto towards their group.

“But—wait! I wanted to stay with Sakura-chan, where’s—” Naruto cried as he tried to peer around Mizuki’s leg and back into the building. Ino’s ears perked up in surprise and she very nearly stepped out of line to ask why _Naruto_ of all people had been with Sakura.

“Sakura is fine, she’ll be joining Iruka-sensei at the front of the group for an announcement. Now get in line!”

Ino turned back to the front, her mind going a mile a minute at the information. Sakura, in front of the entire academy? What were they thinking? Didn’t they know Sakura _hated_ being the center of attention? 

“Alright everyone, settle down. Excuse me, everyone calm down please...I said SETTLE DOWN, DAMMIT!” A hush suddenly fell over the rowdy academy students, and Iruka cleared his throat. “Thank you. Now—welcome, all of you students returning for a new year, and of course, all those here for their first year! I wish you all the best here at the academy!”

Several groups unenthusiastically clap their hands, the only group seemingly truly excited being the newly entered academy students, all around 5 or 6 years old. Ino stood on her tip toes, hands grappling at the slightly taller boy in front of her.

“Shika, do you see her? I can’t see over your stupid pineapple hair!”

“Yes, yes I see her. Would you stop?” He mumbled as he tried in vain to avoid her grabby hands from flattening his hair out. “She’s up next to Iruka-sensei, she just came out.”

Ino stopped her floundering as Mizuki walked past, smiling innocently at the man as he glared at them. When he passed she peered around Shikamaru, using his shoulders as extra leverage to see over the crowd of heads.

He was right, she was there, her hair just as pink as it had always been, but…but there was no ribbon in it to hold it back. Her stomach sank, but she pushed the feeling away. Maybe she just forgotten it today, it didn’t necessarily mean anything.

“Outside of welcoming our new students, we have an announcement to make this year,” Iruka said, after he’d gone through listing the names of all their newest students. He gave a smile as hushed and curious whispers spread through the crowd. “We’re very excited to announce that there will be a curriculum change at the academy—a new class will be offered on Konoha Standard for all age groups.”

Scattered applause spread through the yard, most of the younger students looking about with confusion on their faces.

“Konoha Standard is a language of hand signs, used by advanced shinobi to communicate silently without the need for words. Although in-class studies will be limited to the basics, additional after school courses will be offered for those interested in learning Standard more in depth—running parallel to the after school kunoichi classes.”

Here Iruka paused, and Ino watched him turn and gesture Sakura forward from where she stood behind him. Looking at Sakura…her heart wrenched at the blankness of her expression. Ino, growing up as she had with a father known for his understanding of the human mind, was often more aware of her peers’ general emotions than others. Even if nothing showed in her expression, Ino could see from her body language that she was horrified to be up there.

“I’m sure some of you know her from class but, for the students who’ve yet to meet her, may I introduce you all to Sakura.” Iruka clapped his hands together with a nervous smile. “She’ll be returning here for her second year at the academy, along with the rest of her class.”

Ino wondered at the lack of a surname in the introduction as Sakura flinched. A deep bow to the crowd followed, which Ino felt a curl of nostalgia at seeing—she’d always found the girls formal bows rather adorable. She’d always assumed it was a civilian thing, to be overly respectful to shinobi and clan members.

“Unfortunately..." Iruka continued with a frown, "due to an accident during the break, Sakura is no longer able to speak and will be learning Standard to communicate from here on forward. It is my duty as a teacher to ensure the comfort of my students, and so I ask you to be understanding and respectful with Sakura during this difficult time, and to speak tactfully about the situation.” 

Ino feels her blood run cold at the words, and in front of her Shikamaru straightens in shock.

Rapid whispering breaks out among the crowd of children, and Sakura steps back behind the teacher once more, looking more than a little uncomfortable. Ino feels sick to her stomach at the revelation, her eyes suddenly glued to the scarf that was around Sakura’s neck.

She’d had that scarf on before too, on that day one week ago…Ino tried not to think too much on that day, but now she reflected on it and wondered if the scarf hid something more sinister than just bad fashion choices, as she’d assumed them.

“We encourage all of you to attend the new after school classes if able, and to welcome Sakura just as warmly as our new academy students.” Iruka spoke in closing. “Thank you, and enjoy your first day back of classes!”

The crowd parted at the words, dispersing towards the door back into the academy. Ino struggled through as she moved in the opposite direction, heading towards Sakura, a beacon of pink that was unmissable in the crowd—even lurking on the outskirts as she was.

Quickly she gained on her target, and as she grew closer Sakura looked up and met her eyes. She beamed quickly, quickening her steps, now only meters away, when suddenly a blur of yellow and orange swept past her.

“Sakura-chan! Why didn’t you ever say you couldn’t talk?” Naruto said, to Ino's horror. “Or well, maybe not _actually_ say you couldn’t talk but…y’know what I mean! I don’t think everyone at the orphanage woulda thought you were so weird if you’d just told them you were mute.”

Several people stared as they walked past, including Ino, who could hardly believe her eyes. 

In front of her, Naruto— _Naruto of all people—_ was gleefully hanging off of her best friend. As if he had any right to act like that—to act like he’d known her forever! _Ino_ was the one who’d known her forever, had been her friend even before she’d entered the academy! 

And here he was shouting about the very thing Sakura obviously felt very self conscious about…he didn’t know her at all, not if he couldn’t see the way she shrunk into herself at his questions.

“Obviously because it was something she was worried about people judging her for.” Ino said with a sniff as she stepped between Naruto and her friend. “So maybe don’t go around shouting about it like it’s the best gossip you’ve heard all week, you dunce.”

“Wha—I wasn’t! I-I was just _asking—_ ”

“Did you hear any of Iruka-sensei’s speech? I think you should go _ask_ him the meaning of the word ‘tact,’ before you go about hurting more peoples feelings.” Ino said as she grabbed Sakura limp hand, still glaring at Naruto. “C’mon Sakura-chan, let’s get to class.”

 

—

 

Sakura’s feet moved without her own volition as she was tugged along behind Ino. Her mind was a jumbled mess, and gone was that mornings feeling of change and freedom. Behind her Naruto stood speechless, a look of guilt and hurt on his face, but she could not bring herself to pull away from Ino’s hand. She felt terrible about leaving him there alone, but she was eager to get away from the stares and the attention. Ino was pulling her away from it all, while Naruto had only further singled her out, as much as she knew it hadn’t been his intention.

She looked down at the small pale hand gripping her own, with nails unpainted but trimmed and perfectly rounded as always. Ino’s appearance had been like a shock to her system, as it had been just a week before at the memorial, one that broke through the blankness of her mind as much as it also made her wish to retreat into it. 

Just that morning she’d held Naruto’s hand in the same way as they ran to the academy, free and wild and laughing. Then it had all come crashing down as soon as they’d entered the front door and been seen by Iruka. The link of their hands had been broken and soon Sakura was ushered in the opposite direction from Naruto, her teacher’s words sending dread into her stomach as she realized that she’d soon be standing in front of the entirety of the academy as her disability was announced for all to hear.

She’d wished that Nakamura had done so, when she’d first arrived at the orphanage, and in a way she was glad that that particular hardship wouldn’t be repeated at the academy but…she couldn’t help but feel that, while her teacher obviously had good intentions with the announcement…perhaps it wasn’t the best way to go about it. She just really would’ve rather not been up in front of all her peers like some weird specimen to be examined for being ‘different.’ 

She told herself that it was alright that everyone saw her that way now. She told herself that being different wasn’t bad, either, but it rung a little hollow in her ears.

“Sakura-chan…are you okay?” 

Suddenly, Sakura realized they’d stopped. She and Ino’s linked hands hung limply between them now that Ino wasn’t pulling her along. They stood together, not by the academy doors, but a ways away, sheltered from the eyes of the teachers by a small copse of trees.

Sakura looked up and met Ino’s blue eyes, seeing tears at the corners of them. Sakura didn’t know the answer to her question, and so she looked at the ground. She felt entirely unbalanced by the way Ino was acting as if everything was entirely normal between them.  As if she hadn’t pushed her to ground just last week in a fit of rage, stomping her flowers into the ground. 

For a Yamanaka, flowers were more than just a beautifully arranged thing to sit on a table—they were feelings, messages, straight from the heart. She remembered how Ino had spoken as if she were the flower itself, that day before everything had fallen apart...She had no doubt that her actions had sent a message more profound than any hurtful words could have.

It was a realization that sent a measure of guilt slicing through her. She hadn't really considered Ino's feelings had she? She'd just been focused on her own this whole time...mainly on getting them under control to be exact.

“Sakura-chan…”

There was a sniffle, and then Sakura found herself wrapped tightly in Ino’s warm arms, the unmistakable scent of flowers rich in her nose. Ino’s arms were tight around her shoulders, her thick hair falling in her face, and Sakura felt something break open in her.

Sakura’s arms flew up, hugging her back, a sudden fervent desire to not let go overcoming her. She realized then how long it'd been since the incident. Over a month since she’d had any real physical affection directed at her. A pat of the hand from the Hokage, a stroke of the hair from Himeko, Naruto’s rough hand in hers…it wasn’t enough. This… _this_ is what she’d needed. She’d needed Ino, her best friend.

Despite everything left unsaid, despite all the emotions simmering beneath the surface, Sakura couldn’t help but hug her back and feel relief. For now, nothing else mattered except that Ino was her best friend and she was here, warm and real and comforting and she obviously didn't hold her burst of anger against her. And for that, for being her friend, for being so understanding, she could forgive and forget a lot.

Ino pulled back, eyes red but a smile on her lips. Neither of them said anything, afraid to break the strange accord reached with that hug. Then, with a reach into her pocket, Sakura pulled out a red ribbon. _The_ red ribbon. 

Ino took it with another sniffle, and quickly wrapped it around her head, tying it in that signature bow directly at the top. Her bangs pushed out of the way, Ino stared at her forehead, likely noticing the two circles there that hadn’t been there before. Sakura was glad when she looked away from them, and even more grateful when she didn’t ask where they’d come from. 

She wasn’t sure just what she would say, as she really didn’t want to have to lie…but the Hokage’s order of secrecy echoed in her mind, as binding as real manacles.

They stood there for a while, with Ino scrubbing at her eyes and smoothing her hair down, until a teacher a ways away called out to them.

“Ready to head in?” Ino said with a typical smile, all pep and confidence once more.

Sakura gave a small nod, and her own twitch of a smile, but she couldn’t help but remember the smiles she’d shared with Naruto that morning. They’d been so much easier, so much quicker. 

Things were different with him though…he had no expectations for her, having barely known her _before._ Somehow it made it easier to smile around him, knowing he wouldn’t judge her smile as different.

Ino once again pulled her along, this time into the classroom, and Sakura let her sit her down in the seat beside her and her other girl friends. As always, Ino was an unavoidable force of nature, a tide that once you were caught in could not be escaped.

Pulled along into the deep, Sakura held her breath to stay afloat. 

“Are you all excited for the new year? I heard we’ll be learning jutsu’s this year!” Ino said, “Father also say’s I’ll be starting on our family techniques soon, which _ugh_ so much work, but still—anything’s better than _taijutsu_ training right? At least we won’t have to get all _sweaty_ working on chakra techniques.”

Ino was her usual talkative self, often talking about things that Sakura didn’t understand—things that as a clan child Ino had likely known for quite some time. She switched between speaking to Sakura on her right and two other girls on her left, whom Sakura recognized as Ami and Sen but didn’t bother smiling at. They avoided looking at her, their smiles prompted by Ino and strained besides. They looked uncomfortable, just as Taka had at the orphanage when forced to have lunch with her by Tenten.

Sakura wasn't angry at Ino, and she was glad things had turned out the way they had with their tentative accord…but she also knew, deep down, that things couldn’t really go back to the way they had been—as much as Ino seemed to be hoping they would. Sitting there as Ino talked and talked to fill the silences Sakura created, as she changed the subject every time Ami and Sen tried to talk about Sasuke...it was obvious things had changed, that Sakura had changed, even if Ino hadn't.

But, she told herself that didn’t mean that things couldn’t be just as good—they’d just be different. And different, she repeated to herself, didn’t have to be bad.

Sakura’s eyes drifted away to the seats across the isle, where Naruto had meandered towards from outside. He seemed to be looking around for a place to sit, looking a bit desperate as Iruka shouted from the front of the class for them to all settle down.

“Hinata-chan right?” Naruto said as he scratched the back of his head, smile dimmer than it had been earlier that morning. “D’ya mind moving so I can sit there?”

Sakura watched as the girl in question looked up in shock, eyes so wide they looked like two identical moons within her pale face. She was sitting in an aisle seat and to her right was an empty seat, one which Naruto would have to jump over her to get to. Sakura was actually rather surprised he hadn’t done just that actually.

“N-n-n-n—” Hinata placed a hand firmly over her mouth, face so beat red it looked like she was about to pass out. 

Sakura felt for the girl, recognizing her own visceral panic in the girls expression. She certainly knew what it felt like to not be able to say what you wished to say, to have your words stolen and trapped, betrayed by your own body. 

Naruto however, didn’t seem to realize the girls predicament, taking her silence as rejection. His smile became more and more strained as more and more seats were filled up around the class room.

“Ah, t-that’s okay Hinata-chan I can just sit somewhere else…” He said with a panicky voice as tears sprung up in the girls eyes, eventually turning and looking around the room for other open seats. 

As Ino pulled out a text book from her bag, still chatting along to Ami next to her, Sakura looked down at the clearly open seat directly beside her. Her heart clenched as Naruto’s eyes skimmed right over it, remembering Ino’s harsh words to him. At the time she hadn’t thought much of them…after all, they’d been partially true, and she’d just been grateful to get away from all the attention.

But she hadn’t meant for them to alienate the boy she’d so recently decided to be friends with.

Quickly, she stood. Behind her, Ino’s conversation with the two other girls stopped suddenly, and Sakura could feel their eyes on her as she walked over to Naruto and grabbed his hand. It felt so natural, so easy, to pull him back towards her seat—especially with the way he looked so grateful and relieved. 

She’d always been in awe of Ino and her pull, but with Naruto, she’d begun to realize…she had a pull of her own, and it felt good to use it.

“Alright class!” Iruka said as he massaged a throbbing vein in his temple. “Now that you’ve finally realized seats are for _sitting—_ yes, I’m looking at you Kiba—please open _History of Konohagakure_ to page 25.”

Naruto and Ino…they were more alike than they probably realized, Sakura thought as she did as Iruka told them. Both were so confident and boisterous, but sensitive beneath it all, and both had this strange ability to pull you in without you even realizing it. If Ino was the tide, Naruto was the wind—the kind that you wanted to follow, for you were sure it would lead to somewhere wonderful.

Next to her Ino was staring at Naruto around her back with narrow eyes, and Naruto was looking around sheepishly with no textbook in sight. Sakura pushed her textbook to sit between them, and he scooted closer to look over her shoulder.

“Thanks Sakura-chan!” Naruto said in his usual mock whisper and sheepish laugh. “I totally forgot to buy the books for this year…I kinda spent the money on ramen.”

Sakura shrugged his thanks off with an easy smile. It was only natural that she share with him if he didn't have the book.

Easy. Natural. They were words she couldn’t help but keep using around the boy. And as grateful and relieved as she felt to have Ino sitting beside her again, she was just as happy to have Naruto looking over her shoulder asking questions every other sentence.

And every time Sakura would raise a brow, and he would blush, but she’d still put her pen to paper and write out the best explanation she could.

“Ne, Sakura-chan, what does ‘found-dead’ mean?”

‘It’s ‘foun-ded’ Naruto. And it means…to set up, I think.’

“Sakura-chan, what does ‘orange-in-ated’ mean?”

‘Kinda the same thing, but more like ‘to begin,’ or something like that. Oh, and it’s pronounced ‘oh-ridge-in-ated.’’

“Wait, what’s ‘pro-noun-sed?’”

Sakura couldn’t help but giggle a little at his pronunciation of the word as she wrote. She couldn't blame him for not knowing that one, she had a pretty advanced vocabulary for her age, as she'd always loved reading.

‘How a word is said.’

“Oh…hey, Sakura-chan, who’s this Hashirama guy Iruka-sensei keeps talking about?”

Eventually, Naruto took up his own pen, and below each answer would draw a cute little doodle, sometimes of a shinobi throwing the characters of each word around like shuriken, sometimes of things that were completely nonsensical. They always looked absolutely terrible, which just made them more charming.

The one he drew that was obviously supposed to be Iruka especially made her giggle, as in his hand he held a blow horn with the word ‘quiet’ written on it, with a head so big he looked like a hot air balloon. Naruto had drawn it simply out of boredom after the fifth time Iruka had yelled at him for talking during his lecture.

Her giggle had made his smile seem bright enough to light the entire room, and she tried her best not to notice how beside her Ino frowned every time it happened.

 

—

 

With a thump, Ino closed the large history textbook, feeling as if she hadn’t heard a single thing Iruka had said the entire lesson. She’d been too distracted by Naruto’s obnoxiousness to pay attention.

The entire class the boy had been a nuisance, bothering Sakura with loud ‘whispered’ questions about the meaning of words, which she would then write out explanations for on a piece of paper. That had quickly led to what seemed to be rampant note passing, something which she _never_ would have seen Sakura do in the past. He was obviously a terrible influence, and just wanted to be around Sakura because she was smart.

With each note and each giggle he pulled from Sakura, Ino grew more and more annoyed. She was actually looking forward to taijutsu practice next, if only because she wanted to punch something.

“Everyone, please form an orderly line—I said _orderly,_ Kiba!—and follow Mizuki-sensei and I out into the training yard,” Iruka said as Mizuki opened the door out into the training yard, “This year I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear we’ll be training with chakra extensively. Every day before taijutsu practice you’ll be learning the beginning stages of molding chakra outside your body.”

A cheer went up around the room from the more boisterous of her class mates, and Ino felt rather smug that she’d known that information before many others. Her father being a jounin was often useful in that way.

When they entered the training yard the sun was bright and hot, with none of the mornings shade left. Being the beginning of August as it was, it wasn’t unusual for it to be so hot, but that didn’t make it easier to deal with. Ino saw Sakura adjust her scarf out of the corner of her eye, and she wondered if the heat would be enough to force her to take it off…but she doubted it. It was obviously hiding something she wasn’t ready to show the world.

With a strict but gentle corralling, Iruka got all of the students into neat and orderly lines of six in no time. Ino found herself several people away from Sakura, who was next to Naruto, which made her frown.

“Chakra, as many of you may remember from last year, is a living thing inside all of us and is made up of two parts of a whole working together—the yin for the mind and the yang for the body.” Iruka began as many of the students fell into the seated cross legged position they’d been taught last year. “Everyone can access it with enough hard work and meditation, but _accessing_ it and _molding_ it are two different things. Bringing chakra into the outside world requires something called shape transformation.”

With Mizuki walking about their lines to adjust their posture into the correct position, Iruka continued.

“All three types of jutsu—taijutsu, genjutsu, and ninjutsu—use chakra in some way. However, taijutsu rarely molds the chakra outside of the body, instead using chakra within the body for stamina, strength and speed. Unlike taijutsu, both genjutsu and ninjutsu _do_ mold chakra outside of the body using shape transformation, but they also require something called nature transformation. Without both, a jutsu will be ineffective and incomplete." 

Several students, including Ino, leaned forward in interest at the talk of 'jutsu,' causing their teacher to smile.  


"But not everything needs to be a jutsu for it to be useful, and often the most useful thing to a shinobi…are the basics.” 

Groans echoed around the group at the word 'basics,' and even Ino found herself disappointed. She'd been hoping they would learn something new and cool and then she could show it off to her dad...

“Man, I thought we were gonna be learning some cool jutsu’s!” Naruto cried, disturbing Ino with how close his thoughts had been to her own.

Iruka’s smile didn’t waver, “As I said Naruto, not everything needs to be a jutsu for it to be useful, or ‘cool’ as you put it. For now we will just focus on controlling the chakra independently, using shape transformation to mold it outside the body.” 

Ino then watched as her teacher pulled out a bag of…leaves? 

“The best way to do this, is with the leaf concentration technique. The point of the technique is to focus all your attention on keeping the leaf on your forehead with your chakra, molding your chakra into a shape that will attach itself to the leaf and keep it stuck to you like glue. If the leaf falls, then there’s not enough. If it blows away from you, then there’s too much.” Iruka began passing out the leaves as he explained, giving one to each student. 

“Now, this is not something that will be learned quickly for many of you, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t get it in this session. We all learn at different rates, the important thing is to focus and keep trying!”

With a nod of determination, Ino placed the leaf upon her forehead and closed her eyes with concentration, slowly pulling her hand away from the leaf after several moments. It only stayed on her forehead for about five seconds before fluttering to the ground, and Ino huffed. It was definitely harder than she'd thought it would be.

After ten minutes of failing to keep the leaf on her forehead for more than a few seconds, Ino looked around surreptitiously, finding that most of her peers were having varying degrees of the same results.

Kiba's leaf seemed to perpetually want to shred itself to pieces, to which Iruka would sigh and come over with a new one—either that or Akamaru would swat the leaf from his forehead playfully. Shino seemed to be exempt for some reason, and was sitting in the shade playing with—she shuddered—bugs. Hinata had a look of focus on her face but seemed hesitant to take her hand from her forehead, perhaps afraid of failure?

When Ino glanced over at Shikamaru she found him not even bothering with the leaf. She sighed—it was only a matter of time before the teachers noticed the lack of a leaf on his forehead and realized he was napping. At least Chouji seemed to be trying, although he did take several breaks for snacks in between each attempt.

To her right Sasuke seemed to be struggling with the leaf, which was surprising, and Ino could tell by the look on his face that he was growing more and more frustrated. She had to pull herself away from staring at him with a blush and a shake of her head.

Naruto also seemed to be struggling, which was of course _unsurprising,_ with his leaf blowing straight off his forehead and going a good ten feet in front of him. No one came over to give him a new one, so he kept getting up with a grumble to grab the same one.

And Sakura—

Ino stared at her, brows raising the longer she looked. She was sitting there, perfectly still, the leaf unmoving between the two circles on her large forehead. Ino sat and stared, and stared, and stared…and still the leaf didn’t move from her forehead.

“Ino—head forward, enough snooping please.” An exasperated Iruka said as he waved a hand in front of her face. Ino face forward with an embarrassed blush, picking her leaf back up from the ground. Still she couldn’t help but glance over at Sakura in admiration. 

She made it seem so _easy._

Iruka seemed to have followed her gaze, as when she looked up at him he was now looking at Sakura with a look of contemplation. Ino tried to focus on her own leaf, but she couldn’t concentrate long enough, her attention constantly pulled over to her friend to see if the leaf was still there.

Every time she looked, it was still there, stuck like glue to her forehead.

“Alright, that’s enough class!” Iruka called, coming to a stop in front of Sakura as her leaf finally fluttered away from her forehead. “Sakura-chan—wonderful control, you kept the leaf on your forehead nearly the entire time!”

Sakura blushed as a hum of chatter erupted around her, shocked and jealous whispers breaking out.

“Woah, Sakura-chan you kept the leaf there the _whole time?”_ Naruto exclaimed from next to her. “I couldn’t even get it to stay for one second!”

Sakura smiled at him and shrugged, likely feeling the weight of all the stares of her peers. Ino looked away, realizing she was one of those stares—even if hers was an admiring one.

When she did her eyes landed once again on Sasuke. Even he was staring at Sakura, although it certainly wasn’t admiring like Ino’s. His held…jealousy? No, that couldn’t be right…could it? Was he jealous Sakura had performed better than him at the leaf challenge? He didn't seem like the type...but then he'd always been the best in class hadn't he?

“Next—taijutsu practice.” Mizuki called out, followed by several groans. He rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, I know it’s hot. There’s water over by the tree line if anyone needs it—we’ll have a ten minute break before starting.”

“I’ll leave you all in Mizuki-sensei’s care then, and see you all in an hour.” Iruka said turning back to the classroom. He stopped suddenly though to call out sternly, “And remember to empty out your pockets before entering the practice ring! I don’t want a repeat of last year’s pen incident! No one will be going to the hospital on the first day back if I have anything to do with it…”

Mizuki waved his hand at Iruka with a roll of his eyes, to which the other teacher responded with a glare that was ignored.

Mizuki led the taijutsu section of their day with an iron fist, as usual. He had them follow along with his movements first, demonstrating the standard kata they’d learned last year and then embellishing on it with several new moves. He immediately put them through the paces without further instruction, also as usual, and Ino was sweating within minutes. She at least had her father’s training to fall back on, but she observed several of the non clan children quickly falling behind, including Sakura and Naruto.

Mizuki at least took the time to correct Sakura in her stance, but Naruto was left floundering to keep up without help. That in itself wasn’t unusual…but what was unusual was when Sakura took the time to go over and help him the next time Mizuki turned his back on her. Ino felt her own stance falter at seeing it, and she could hear Ami and Sen whispering behind her.

What was Sakura thinking? She’d always been so eager to make friends, but Naruto? Really? He was so _gross,_ and annoying…she’d already seen him pick his nose three times that day!

She’d always been so friendly to Ami and Sen before, wanting to be part of the group Ino had cultivated, even if she hadn’t actually wanted to be friends with the catty girls. Even Ino knew they weren’t the same kind of friends that she and Sakura were, but still…they were people to talk to and eat lunch with, and they didn’t ever get her in trouble like Naruto surely would.

She watched them from afar, only half heartedly going through the motions of her kata, as Sakura once again corrected his stance and smiled at him. With a frown Ino realized Sakura hadn’t smiled at her like that once all day…and yet she handed them out so easily to Naruto?

This was not how she’d thought this day would go. Why couldn't things just go back to the they way they were before?

Ino glared at the blond haired boy as he thanked her loudly, gaining the angry attention of their sensei, and an uncomfortable feeling settled into her stomach.

 

—

 

As Mizuki had them pair up for sparing, they were allowed another short break to get water by the tree line that separated the two academy training grounds. Sakura looked over to the well, mouth dry as she fixed the ribbon in her hair and wiped the sweat from her forehead. 

Naruto was emptying his pockets under Mizuki’s watchful eye, so Sakura let him be. When she looked over to where Ino was, seeing her surrounded by Ami and Sen, she decided to head over to get a drink by herself.

The well itself was an old one, covered in vines with a few stones loose around the edge. On it’s side, nearly covered by overgrown weeds, there was a plaque that had the first hokage’s signature on it. Sakura had never paid it much mind before, but now Nakamura’s long diatribes about the history of the orphanage echoed in her mind. 

If there was one good thing she could say about Nakamura, it was that he was a great historian. He’d certainly opened her eyes to the fact that Konoha was rich in history she'd never noticed before. As annoying as it was to listen to him go on and on about the orphanages history and post and beam structure…there was some interesting stories hidden within all the boring architecture stuff.

She shook her head a bit—she really must be dehydrated if she was actually thinking something _positive_ about the grump. Still, she leaned forward to read the plaque with curiosity.

— 

_“With this well we, the people of Konohagakure, celebrate the lighting of the newly finished light house in Uzushiogakure. We hope it’s beacon of light will eternally shine with the Will of Fire in celebration of the bonds between our two newly created villages. As their light house represents their love and respect for Konoha, we too build this well to represent our love and respect for our neighbors and allies in Uzushio. May the stones never fall, and the water never run dry, as long as the bonds between Uzushio and Konoha remain strong._

_Signed,_

_Senju Hashirama_ _”_

 —

Sakura traced the engraved characters on the plaque, wondering at just where ‘Uzushiogakure’ was. Village hidden by the whirling tides? She’d never heard of it…perhaps it was something they’d learn of later in the year?

“Winner—Hyuuga Neji!”

Sakura startled, knocking a stone from the edge into the wells depths. She moved to look through the line of trees and bushes behind it, seeing a group of older academy students and a teacher there. She knew just past the line of foliage was the academies second training yard, although she hadn’t realized that another class was having their own taijutsu practice as well.

Sakura drifted closer as she realized she recognized one of the figures in the sparring ring. It was Daisuke, looking furious and embarrassed where he sat panting in the dirt. Above him stood a dark haired and pale eyed boy who stood in a stance Sakura knew was definitely not academy standard—especially after having just spent half an hour correcting Naruto’s stance.

“He—he cheated!” Daisuke called as he scrambled to get up. “He’s only supposed to use the academy taijutsu!”

The teacher shook his head as the Hyuuga boy scoffed. “Daisuke, that’s enough, Neji won fair and square. The rules of the spar were taijutsu only, it doesn't matter _what_ taijutsu is used…try to keep that in mind next time. Now, next spar!”

As Sakura watched through the trees, the Hyuuga turned away with a cold look towards Daisuke, whose face reddened. With a growl the frog faced boy turned away and stomped away...towards where she sat hidden by the bushes. She froze, worried he’d get too close to her and see her, but he walked right past her hiding spot and to the far end of the tree line. As he passed she heard him muttering angrily to himself and she stifled a snort, almost wishing he hadn’t left her range of hearing.

For a moment she considered sneaking over to get closer to where he stood, maybe to hear what he was muttering to himself about. The thought was swiftly put to rest when she blinked and suddenly—there near his shoulder—stood a shadowy figure. She startled a bit, wondering where the man had come from…she swore he’d not been there a moment ago…although Daisuke didn't seem surprised to see him.

He was facing away from her, so all she could see was his back and Daisuke’s face. She looked over at the rest of the older class’s group, but none of them seemed to notice the man at all, which she thought strange.

An unsettling feeling overcame her the longer she watched the figure hover over Daisuke. She didn’t like the boy, but that didn’t mean she wished him true ill will. She couldn’t help but feel like something was just…inherently wrong about the scene, and that someone should go over and pull Daisuke away from the looming figure.

Sakura shivered as Daisuke looked up at the man. There was blatant admiration in his gaze as he nodded along eagerly to whatever the man was saying. Surely if the man was a teacher he’d be wearing a chuunin vest, and he didn’t look familiar…but then she couldn’t see his face from here, maybe she’d recognize him if she could—

Suddenly, the figure turned, piercing eyes finding her hiding spot instantly. His face, bone white and eyes dark, was completely unfamiliar to her. She felt pinned in place by his stare, inescapable, and Sakura found herself holding her breath so long she felt light headed. She was afraid, but she wasn’t quite sure why. She had no real reason to be afraid of the man…right?

“Next match, Sakura versus Ami!” Mizuki’s voice suddenly called from behind her. “Sakura? Where is—has anyone seen Sakura?”

Heart suddenly in her throat Sakura tumbled out of the bushes with a gasp. She’d been so focused on the class in front of her that she’d completely forgotten about her own class. She hadn’t even realized they’d started sparing without her!

She hurried to get up and head away from the tree line, back towards her own classmates, but turned halfway to look back to where Daisuke and the man had been.

Her brows furrowed when she saw only Daisuke standing there, staring at nothing. Had she imagined it all? No…no there had definitely been someone there…

She shook her head, telling herself she was being silly for worrying. She was sure he was just a teacher she’d never met before—after all, the academy teachers wouldn’t let anyone in that wasn’t supposed to be here.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof, that was a long one...I almost cut it off right after Ino feels all jealous watching Naruto and Sakura together, but decided to keep the last bit in at the last minute because it felt like a weird place to start the next chapter.
> 
> Also - congrats to all the people that guessed Sakura was going to play a frog prank on daisuke :) Hopefully it met all your froggy (toady?) expectations.
> 
> A question for my readers...this was a super long chapter, and I'm curious how you all feel about it. Was it too long? Are you all okay with long chapters like this or should I try harder to shorten them up?


	7. Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Can't believe I'm over 300 kudos! I'd just like to say thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudos I've gotten from everyone, and I hope you all like the new chapter!

_The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new._

-Socrates

 

_—_

 

It was a hot day, sun beating down with sweltering intensity on all those who dared walk about outside. One such person was standing on it’s outskirts, regretting ever leaving dark coolness of his apartment, and wondering how on earth people could stand such heat. 

It was made all the worse by the afternoon sun's reflection off the black surface of the memorial stone _—_ in front of which one Hatake Kakashi stood. The warmth of the day seemed to radiate from the memorial stone like a space heater, and already the flowers placed in front of it had wilted under the punishing summer rays. Kakashi didn’t turn when he approached and stopped to stand along beside him, but he knew by the relaxed slump of his shoulders that he wasn't adverse to his presence. That was often the best he could ask for from the older man. 

“Tenzou…you usually show up to pester me much earlier than this.” Kakashi drawled, tilting his head back just enough to look at him from the corner of his eye. “Late night babysitting?”

“You know it was, Kakashi-senpai.” He sighed as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “You _are_ the one who gave me the assignment after all…Ah, and it’s Yamato now, by the way.”

“Yamato? Hmm, meaning _great harmony_?" Kakashi said, his one eye brow raising lazily. "…I think I preferred Tenzou _—_ _heavenly monk _—__ itsuits you much better.”

“Ah…I can’t tell if that’s an insult or not, senpai.” Yamato said with narrowed eyes. Was he suggesting he was eternally celibate? 

“Maa, what’s the new codename for then?” Kakashi continued with a small chuckle.

“…the hokage has assigned me to the academy. As a teacher.” Yamato said, hands shifting behind his back as they always did when he was uncomfortable. “I’m just on my way there now, in fact.”

“The hokage has finally decided to add gardening classes to the academy? I never thought he’d take Yamanaka-san’s suggestion seriously…”

Yamato sighed deeply, “You know that’s not what I’ll be teaching senpai…”

Kakashi gave him his usual approximation of a smile, “Standard then? I’m surprised…I would’ve assumed he’d assign a chuunin to the job. I suppose it makes sense though…it’ll be much easier for you to keep an eye on her outside of the orphanage if she knows you.”

Yamato frowned, surprised as always at how blasé Kakashi could be about talking about such things out in the open. He might as well call him Cat and let everyone know his ANBU designated name as well.

“Relax.” Kakashi said as he scratched his chin. “No one’s around. And I often put up a few silencing seals when I come here…”

"Ah...I see. Convenient." Yamato said, but couldn’t help but stare at Kakashi a bit at the implication of the words. He knew of course that Kakashi came here often to pay his respects but…he hadn’t realized he spoke aloud to the dead often enough to use silencing seals regularly. Was that…healthy or unhealthy? He wasn’t sure…although he certainly wasn’t the one to talk about mental health anyways.

“Well…I disagree with your previous statement, senpai.” Yamato said, clearing his throat. “Of course I accepted the assignment from the hokage but…I find myself unsure of my ability to perform well in this sort of mission environment. I’d hoped you could give me some advice, having taught several people yourself as an ANBU captain, including me.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Kakashi drawled. “Teaching’s easy…and it’ll do you some good to loosen up a bit. Just show them the Standard hand signs, hand out some books and tell them to practice.”

“…that’s all? Nothing else?”

“Well…I suppose after that you’d have to sit there and…make sure they do it?” 

“That isn’t much to go on, senpai.” Yamato sighed, “Although, I’m not sure what else I expected to be honest…”

_“_ Ah! Yamato, since you’re here…” Kakashi began, and Yamato’s eyes narrowed as he reached into his jounin vest. “You wouldn’t mind taking these reports to the Hokage Tower and handing them in for me would you?”

Suddenly, Yamato found himself with an armful of papers, his mouth open in protest, but Kakashi quickly steam rolled over him.

“It’s just, I have to go help my neighbor get her groceries up six flights of stairs—you know how old ladies are…and well, you are going to the academy, so you’ll be right there anyways.”

“Well, yes, but—that doesn’t mean I have time to—”

“Maa, consider it payment for my advice Yamato.” Kakashi smiled as he patted him on the shoulder. 

“Wha—what advice? You hardly even—Kakashi-senpai!” Yamato groaned as Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving him with several dogeared reports. 

With a terrible foreboding feeling, Yamato flipped through the papers. With each new page he flipped faster, eye twitching.

“Tch—just as I thought. None of these reports are done properly! Does he care nothing for proper procedure?” Yamato sighed. “I suppose I know the answer to that…why does it seem whenever we meet I end up doing more work?”

He knew the answer to that one as well, unfortunately: because he wanted to impress the man. He wanted his respect, he wanted his acknowledgement….

...and also because he was a bit of a push over, if he was honest with himself.

As he reached the last page, Yamato stopped. There, in the top right corner was a little doodle of a droopy dog.

_‘Thanks Yamato!’_ It’s speech bubble said, with a terrible rendition of a ‘thumbs up’ drawn next to it. Yamato couldn’t help but snort, despite the fact that the doodle meant Kakashi had deliberately planned on dumping the work on him.

“Well, it can’t be helped…” Yamato said long sufferingly. He glanced down once more at the memorial stone where Kakashi’s flowers lay wilting. He smiled a bit. “I suppose it’s worth it in the end, isn’t it? Having friends?”

Yamato left some time later, heading towards the academy with a new found confidence. Behind him, all around the memorial stone, a copse of vivid and brilliant new flowers grew...and the bouquet that sat upon the stone itself was blooming and more alive than ever.

 

_—_

 

“Alright, that’s the end of class everyone—” Iruka said as the clock struck five. At his words there seemed to be a mad rush to escape the room, some from the door, some from the window, some even climbing over others backs to do so.

“For any interested in the Standard classes, please remain in this room!” Iruka called out over the stampede. “Although I will not be staying, the teacher will be arriving shortly!”

As Iruka disappeared in a puff of smoke, likely eager to leave behind the many rowdy children in the class, Sakura realized the day wasn’t truly over. Excitement washed over her. Quickly Sakura picked up a pen and wrote underneath the myriad of Naruto’s increasingly absurd drawings.

She tapped Ino and Naruto both on the shoulder to get their attention, holding the note before her so they could both see.

‘So you're both staying? For the Standard lessons?’

“Of course!” Ino replied with a sniff of disbelief. “You’re my best friend. And anyways, it’ll be good practice for all the hand signs we’ll have to learn eventually.”

On her other side, Naruto was just finished sounding out the syllables of the word for ‘Standard.’

“Yeah! Anything’ll be better than having to _read_ everything you say.” Naruto replied, to which Ino glared at him pointedly. “Um—not that I mind that though! I-I love reading!”

Sakura rolled her eyes at the obvious back tracking, but didn’t take it personally as she might have if someone else had said it. She’d quickly realized that day that Naruto was pretty far behind the rest of the class in terms of reading ability, although that hadn’t stopped him from trying his best to read her notes…unfortunately, it didn’t seem that that motivation carried over to his _actual_ school work however. 

As she looked around at the rapidly emptying room, she felt only a small bit of disappointment as no one else stayed behind. She supposed she should’ve expected it though, who would want to stay behind for extra classes if they didn’t have to? Especially ones that ran at the same time as the kunoichi classes.

Finally the last of her classmates disappeared, leaving her, Naruto and Ino alone in the classroom. 

‘Thank you.’ Sakura wrote. ‘I know it’s a lot of work, and Ino—you’ll be missing kunoichi classes, you always loved those.’

“I don’t mind missing those classes. I knew most of it from mom anyways—” Ino started, only be interrupted by Naruto.

“Pff—what’s a lot of work. I bet I’ll learn it faster than everyone else, ‘attebayo! Then we’ll be talking like—like all the time.” Naruto grinned a bit shyly, seemingly thoroughly pleased at the idea.

“You? Are you sure you can keep quiet long enough to learn anything?” Ino scoffed, and Sakura scowled at the insult...even though it  _was_ a bit true. She had to admit Naruto did like to talk.

“Hey! Like you're any better!” Naruto said leaning around Sakura to point at Ino. “You never shut up! All day all you do is talk like blah blah, flowers, blah blah clan jutsu—”

“I do not—!” Ino yelled, “And anyway’s at least flowers is a better topic than _ramen!”_

“Yeah, right! Like stupid flowers could be better than ramen, you can’t even eat flowers!”

Suddenly squished between the two blondes as they stood to yell over her head, Sakura’s brow twitched. Then, her hands sprung out, grabbing the two idiots by the top of their heads, and pushed them back into their seats.

Stunned, her two friends gapped at her, and Sakura gave them both a glare.

‘No. Fighting.’ She wrote.

There was silence as her two friends scoffed, crossed their arms, each looking off in the opposite direction from the other. Sakura stiffled a giggle when she realized how similar their pouts were. If only they could see themselves…

“By the way…” Ino finally broke the silence, as she often did, “Do you know who the teacher is going to be? It’s obviously not Iruka-sensei, and it’s not Suzume-sensei since she teaches the kunoichi classes…”

As Ino trailed off, they all met each others eyes, a single thought passing between them all.

“…I really hope it’s not Mizuki-sensei.”

All three of them agreed on that one, nodding almost in unison. 

“Although…what if it’s someone…worse?” Naruto stage whispered.

“Worse than Mizuki-sensei?” Ino rolled her eyes at him, “I don’t think such a person exists.”

“But what if the teacher is super scary looking?” Suddenly Naruto leaned it real close fingers wiggling in front of him as if to promote the terror of the idea. “Or-or maybe they’ll be a _pervert_ or something.” 

“Ew! Naruto our teacher won’t be a _pervert,_ gross!” Ino exclaimed as Sakura covered her mouth in horror at the thought. She couldn’t help but think back to that masked shinobi that had escorted her to the orphanage with her things. Kami-sama…that would be terrible if he were the one to show up as their teacher.

“Hey, you don’t know any more about the teacher than I do!” Naruto said with a scowl, “I bet they really _are_ a scary weirdo and that's why they can't teach the normal classes! With, like, a bunch of huge _scars_ and-and maybe even _fish lips_ —”

“My…what a cruel thing to say about your new sensei…” 

Naruto froze at the deep voice, one which had sounded startlingly close.

“To think I had every intention of being a kind and welcoming teacher…but, with such terrible assumptions already rooted in your minds, perhaps the best route…” 

Slowly Naruto turned to look over his shoulder, and from the gloom a pale and ghostly face appeared, cast in stark shadow and lit from below by a nonexistent light. 

“…is to teach through fear?”

Naruto gave a blood curdling scream as he leapt away from the figure, followed quickly by both Sakura and Ino. All of them—even Ino and Naruto, despite their differences—clutched at one another up against the wall of the classroom, trying to get as far away from the ghost like face.

A chuckle broke through the darkness, blooming into a laugh, and suddenly the gloom that permeated the room lifted. As the sun returned to the classroom, the haunting and ghostly figure was revealed to be a rather plain and unassuming man. 

“What an interesting introduction…” The strange man suddenly said, crossing his arms with a raised brow. “It seems I’ll be teaching not one, but _three_ scaredy cats…”

Blinking sheepishly, the three children looked at the man, then each other, and then suddenly Ino shoved away from Naruto with a disgusted sound, separating them. Sakura herself took deep breaths to calm her heart as she fanned her red face, wondering what on earth had just happened. 

Just moments ago the room had seemed to drop three degrees, the very sun seeming to dim and cast the classroom with strange moving shadows. And how had he done that creepy ‘flashlight under the face’ thing when there was clearly no flashlight to be found? 

Was it an—an illusion? Wait, no, there was a word for that…she was sure Ino would know if she asked her. She always seemed to know more about shinobi things than her.

“Y-You! What the—Why would you—” Naruto stuttered out, and Sakura noted with a bit of amusement that his usually tan skin was pale and clammy. “You can’t j-just—!” 

“I can.” The man said with a bit of a frown, face suddenly seeming very wooden without his smile. “Perhaps the scare will teach you not to make such judgments about people you’ve never met. Now, take a seat, all of you. Class will begin shortly.”

Quickly Sakura and Ino retook their seats, obviously eager to put the embarrassing incident behind them. Naruto was slower to sit down, staring at their teacher with obvious skepticism. Sakura took the moment to observe the man, as he did so. He was young—especially considering the his jounin status—as well as tall, but plain in appearance. He held himself stiffly, and she noted the strange piece of metal that framed his bland face. She thought curiously that she vaguely remembered seeing a similar head piece on portraits of the second hokage.

As the man started writing his name on the board at the front of the class, Naruto leaned over close to Sakura’s ear.

“What’s up with this teacher—he’s super creepy!” Naruto whispered, “And how did he make the room go all dark and gloomy—and that do that weird thing with his face?”

Next to her Ino scoffed, “Obviously it was a genjutsu. Don’t you listen in class at all? We just talked about the three jutsu types this morning!”

Naruto puffed his cheeks at her with a glare, and Sakura blushed a bit. She hadn’t remembered what it was called either after all…but to be fair she  _had_ been a little preoccupied by Naruto’s constant questions.

At the front of the classroom the man cleared his throat, putting an end to their whispered discussion. His posture was rigid, face stiff and serious, and Sakura thought it was just as creepy without the strange illusion he’d created earlier. 

Still...she realized then that he looked nothing like that man she'd seen in the academy courtyard earlier in the day.  She wasn't sure if she was more or less worried by the revelation however.

“Greetings, my new students. My name is Yamato, I am a jounin of Konoha and your new teacher.” Yamato said, proceeding then to give a stiff bow. “Due to your usual teachers time constraints, and a shortage of qualified chunnin, I will be teaching you Standard for the time being. I look forward to teaching you...cooperate and there will be no problems.”

Next to her Naruto shivered, "Jeez, this guy can't even introduce himself without sounding creepy..."

“Now, we’ll begin with the basics…”

 

—

 

After class—which had been more grueling than any academy lesson that Iruka or Mizuki had ever taught—all three children shuffled out of the room like the walking dead.

“I was right, y’know. That guy…” Naruto groaned with a shudder, “Is scary—he’s way worse than Mizuki-sensei. At least Mizuki-sensei gives us breaks!”

“Shh!” Ino said with a scowl. “What, do you want him to hear you? Don’t be so loud!”

“You’re the one who’s loud!”

“Whatever.” Ino huffed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Then she turned a full wattage smile towards Sakura. 

“I’m just glad it’s over. Now, Naruto you can go home, and we’ll go back to my place for dinner—right Sakura-chan?”

Sakura jumped a bit as Ino linked arms with her, meeting Naruto’s eyes. She’d always gone over to Ino’s after school and hung out in her family’s flower shop, sometimes even staying for dinner. At one point she’d done it so often that it’d become an unspoken thing, no longer requiring a request, but rather just expected. 

But that was before...and although she _would_ go with Ino...she'd already made plans with Naruto earlier in the day.

As Ino began to pull her along in the direction of her house, Sakura stood strong against the tide. Her friend stopped in confusion, letting go of her arm, and Sakura quickly jotted something down and handed it to her. Ino took it hesitantly, and Sakura watched her shoulders fall as she read it.

“You…already agreed to go get ramen with Naruto?” Ino said without looking up from the note. 

Sakura nodded, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Naruto’s shoulders relax. Had he thought she’d blow him off?

Ino didn’t look up from the note and Sakura felt her insides squirm in sudden nervousness. She looked at Naruto in the hopes that he’d say something to break the silence.

“If you wanna, you could join us Ino-chan!” Naruto said with a smile that was a tad strained, “Ramen’s the best way to celebrate the first day back to the academy, y’know!”

“…my mom say’s ramen’s gross and unhealthy,” Ino finally muttered, looking up to glare at Naruto until his smile dimmed, her voice wobbling at her next words, “—and don’t call me Ino-chan…we’re _not_ friends.”

“Wha—fine then, don’t come!” Naruto said with a huff, seemingly about to continue, but Ino cuts him off, her eyes suddenly shinning.

“And as much as you want to pretend she is…Sakura isn’t your friend either.” 

Sakura gasped at the words, and Naruto flinched. But Ino wasn’t done.

“She isn’t your friend, she’s _mine_ , so stop hanging around and bothering her! I would tell you to stop stealing other peoples friends and go get your own, but you obviously can’t you—you—!”

Sakura stepped forward in front of Naruto, grabbing Ino’s raised hand, stopping her from throwing the note crumpled within it. Sakura could feel Ino shaking as the note dropped from her hand.

As their eyes met, the only sound that could be heard was Ino’s angry breathing. Then, behind her, the sound of running feet resounded through the clearing.

Quickly Sakura turned to see Naruto sprinting in the opposite direction, and she immediately dropped Ino’s wrist to follow him. Before she'd even let go, Ino’s hand had turned and latched on to her, and when she looked over her shoulder to meet her best friends eyes it was with conflicted feelings.

It was obvious that Ino regretted what she’d said from the guilt in her eyes...but did she regret it because it'd hurt Naruto, or because she didn’t want Sakura to leave?

Slowly, she shook her head and harshly pulled her wrist from her friends desperate grip. 

And then she ran, something she seemed to be doing quite a lot today…but this time she wasn’t running _away_ from something—she was running towards it.

 

—

 

“You requested me, Hokage-sama?”

Hiruzen looked up from the documents in front of him, smoke swirling as he took his last puff of his pipe. He smiled at the man who stood stiffly in front of him as he tapped out the last embers.

“Ah, Yamato…I am sorry to take you away from your duties.” The Hokage said, “How did your first class at the academy go? I always thought you’d take well to being a teacher...”

Yamato shifted his stance, relaxing somewhat at the question. He had no doubt the young man knew he wasn’t really asking how he felt about teaching, however.

“It went well, Hokage-sama, I will do my best to live up to the expectations you have set for me.” Yamato said with a small bow. “Although I was surprised to see how few students I would have…only two others joined Sakura to learn Konoha Standard.”

“Hmm, I was hoping for more of a turnout than that...perhaps numbers will increase in time.” The Hokage sighed, “It is unfortunate that I can’t add Standard to the academy curriculum, but such an act would incur push back from the clan heads.”

“Excuse me for saying so, Hokage-sama, but I find it strange that they would be opposed.” Yamato interjected, “Would it not be beneficial for them to learn something that is required once they become chuunin anyways?”

“Of course, many of the clan heads would be perfectly happy with it…but there are some that, well, that would see it as an unnecessary class that takes time away from the more important things—namely learning taijutsu and ninjutsu. They wouldn't take removing time from those classes well—especially when that time would go to a class inspired by a _civilian_ students needs.” The Hokage shook his head.

“It is an unfortunate truth…just because I’m the leader of this village, it does not mean I can do whatever I wish. There are many people who I must appease, and many things that I cannot change…”

“I see…” Yamato said with a frown, and Hiruzen could tell that the young man didn't quite agree with his words. Still, he knew he would never voice such an opinion. He was much too respectful of Hiruzen's position as hokage...he could only hope some of that respect would rub off on Naruto now that he was learning under him.

“At least the girl will have two of her peers to learn with. Sakura herself was a quick learner and very well mannered, and the Yamanaka heir was quite sharp as well. And as for Naruto, well…he’s certainly very…energetic.”

“Ah, yes, Naruto…” The Hokage chuckled. “That he is…I know he can be a bit of a trouble maker, but I think you’ll find he has a good heart.”

“Yes...and quite easy to scare too.” 

“Hm? What was that, Yamato?”

“Nothing, Hokage-sama.” Yamato said entirely blank faced. Hiruzen rose a brow at him but didn't comment further.

“However, there was one thing I wanted to bring to your attention…”

The Hokage leaned forward at the sudden serious look on the young mans face.

“I know some time ago, that you officially ordered ROOT to be disbanded.” Yamato murmured.

“Indeed it was.” Hiruzen said simply, “It was something I should have done years ago…after I took you from it. I should have seen then how ROOT only fed into Danzo’s darker tendencies…and his insubordination.”

“Yes…and I’m glad for it, but—” Yamato said as he met the Hokage’s eyes, “—are you certain it has truly been dissolved as you ordered?”

“I have no reason to believe otherwise.” The Hokage said sharply, eyebrow raised. “Should I?”

Briefly, Yamato looked away from his gaze, a look of hesitance flashing over his face.

“I…I can’t be sure.” He finally said, “It’s likely nothing but…there was a moment at the academy when I first arrived, where I thought…I thought I sensed someone. Someone very familiar…from my time in ROOT.”

“You could have indeed sensed a member of ROOT…” Hiruzen said as he sat back in his chair in thought. “After all, many of those members were integrated into ANBU when the organization disbanded—as you were, long ago. It isn’t unreasonable to assume one of them was reporting in at the time.”

“Yes, that’s…that’s true.” Yamato said with a frown. “Like I said, it’s likely nothing, and I’m no sensor-nin, but…something just felt off.”

Hiruzen hummed, “Well, all we can do is be vigilant…although I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Now…I’ll have to dismiss you Yamato, I have a mountain of paperwork to look forward to. Report back next week as usual.”

“Of course, Hokage-sama.” Yamato gave a sharp bow, turning to leave before suddenly stopping. 

“Hokage-sama, if I may ask, one more thing…”

With a hum of acknowledgment Hiruzen nodded, shuffling a stack of paperwork as he did so. There was a long pause before Yamato finally spoke again, and his voice was curiously tentative.

“…why did you give me this assignment?”

Hiruzen didn’t look up from his newly returned to paperwork, “It’s unlike you to question a mission…I don’t believe you’ve done so once since your integration into ANBU…but then, don’t you already know the answer?”

“…I know why I was chosen to guard over her time at the orphanage—that is no mystery." Yamato said with a nod. "If anyone looks into my addition to the ANBU guard roster there, they will assume I am there to watch the jinchuriki—especially considering my chakra’s known ability to suppress tailed beasts. I can therefore observe and protect the girl without drawing attention to her.” 

Hiruzen nodded, confirming the accuracy of Yamato's analysis as he waited for him to continue.

“However…being a teacher limits my usefulness as a guard in many ways…I am restricted by my role, and the social bonds and niceties that it requires. I have always worked in the shadows…it is there that I am most efficient and effective. I don’t understand why I have been given this role, given this new name, when others would so obviously be better suited.”

Finally the hokage looked up, setting down his pen. Hiruzen couldn’t help but smile a bit at the young man, barely nineteen and so serious. Although it wasn't his fault, being raised in ROOT as he had been.

“You sound so certain that I assigned you the teaching role at the academy in order to guard Sakura.” He said, chuckling as Yamato’s mouth dropped open. “You have indeed always worked in the shadows, Yamato…and you certainly work well there, just as well as Kakashi, in truth. But I am beginning to realize…there is only so much of the dark one can take. Too much…and you’ll find yourself consumed by it.”

The air felt tense in heavy in the office, as Hiruzen held Yamato’s wide eyes.

“There are certain events that have…opened my eyes in many ways. You and Kakashi both have been in the shadows for far too long—something I admit is down to my own selfishness.” Hiruzen murmured. “No other individuals have been as efficient, brutal, and well adapted to ANBU as the two of you…and no other has remained there for so long either. You were born to ROOT and, even when you left it, you easily slipped into ANBU at my orders—into the shadows once more…but that does not mean the darkness must be your _entire_ life. Nor must it be Kakashi's...although he doesn't see it that way, I'm sure.”

Yamato heaved a great breath in, unblinkingly holding the Hokage’s gaze. The look on his face teetered on the edge of hope and confusion.

“Don’t you think it’s time you walked in the light for awhile, Yamato?”

“…yes.” The man finally whispered, eyes suddenly unfocused and staring over Hiruzen's shoulder. “That…that sounds quite nice. It was…different, teaching today, but I liked it. Teaching was…nice.”

Hiruzen smiled softly, but it was a bittersweet one. “You are much easier to convince than Kakashi is. It gives me hope that perhaps seeing you, teaching the children at the academy, living a life outside of ANBU…perhaps he will soften to the idea of doing so himself one day. He’s quite fond of you, you know, and he respect’s you as he does few others.”

“Respect’s me?” Yamato rose an eyebrow at that, but Hiruzen could see the twitch of a smile on his wooden face.“The way he constantly tricks me into doing his work for him would say otherwise.”

With a chuckle Hiruzen nodded. “Ah, that does sound like him…but, if anything, it just proves my point really. Kakashi doesn’t let people into his life easily…even something like that is quite the step for him.”

There was a long silence then, but it was a comfortable one, as was often the case with Yamato. He was a uniquely quiet individual, in that his silences often felt peaceful rather than strained.

“Thank you.” Yamato said, and again he smiled stiffly. “I…will do my utmost to be the best teacher I can be, Hokage-sama…without letting it detract from my ANBU duties, of course.”

Hiruzen waved the thanks away with another chuckle, before picking up his pen once more in a clear dismissal. This time, Yamato didn’t turn back as he went to leave. The day was over, and the Hokage knew soon he’d prepare to pick up the mantel of his ANBU alter ego, Cat, and take to the shadows once more.

The hokage gave a sigh once Yamato cleared the tower, and leaned back in his chair. 

“Was the inspirational speech really necessary, Hokage-sama?”

“Wolf.” Hiruzen said, looking behind his shoulder with a smile. “I was hoping you were listening in. You could do with some inspiration.”

A quiet sigh slipped past the wolf like visage of the ANBU captains mask, but otherwise there was no acknowledgment of the hokage’s comment.

“I’m glad you’re here, anyways.” Hiruzen said, smile falling away. “I want you to look into something for me—specifically, I want a roster of all the ANBU integrated, ex-ROOT, operatives that reported in around noon today.”

Wolf nodded with a slight bow, disappearing to carry out his orders in a flash. Perhaps it truly was nothing, like Yamato said, but just to be sure…the hokage decided he should keep a closer eye on the members of the disbanded organization.

Danzo never had been one to give up something he believed in without a fight.

 

—

 

Sakura found Naruto by the swing, although he wasn’t sitting on it, just staring at it from afar. He looked up with a scowl as she approached, and Sakura…Sakura scowled right back. She was out of breath and a bit angry to see him sitting there without a bit of sweat on him—he really did have way too much stamina.

“…If you didn’t want me around, you coulda just said so y’know.” Naruto said kicking the dirt with sniffle. “I don’t wanna steal anyones friend…although, I don’t know why you’d wanna be friends with someone who thinks ramen is gross…I mean you’ve gotta be crazy to think ramen is gross!”

Sakura threw a glare at him at the word ‘crazy.’ Ino had always hated that word, if only because Shikamaru was fond of calling her that whenever she’d yell at him for being lazy too much. And anyways, what was he thinking running away like that? He hadn't even given her a chance to disagree with Ino. 

With a huff, Sakura stomped up to him, and promptly punched him in the bicep.

“Ow! Sakura-chan, what was that for?!” Naruto said as he rubbed at the place on his arm she’d punched. It’d hardly been hard at all though, and she rolled her eyes at his overreaction. “It’s not like I’m _wrong_. She _is_ crazy…”

Sakura punched him again, this time actually putting some strength behind it. 

“Hey! Would you stop—!”

With a scowl Sakura interrupted him, very deliberately signing one word—one word she was sure Naruto would know. After all, Naruto had been the one to ask Yamato to teach it to them...and it was one of the only words he’d seemed rather intent on memorizing.

‘Friend. Ino, friend.’ She signed, spelling out Ino's name with the alphabet. Naruto looked away with a hurt expression, and so she roughly poked him in the chest so he’d look at her again. ‘Naruto, friend. Ino, Naruto, Sakura. Friends.’

Naruto rubbed at his chest, eyes looking a little weary. Sakura crossed her arms and stared him down, blushing a bit at her caveman like wording.

“Are we…are we really? I’m not…stealing you?” 

Naruto’s voice was small, a contrast to his usual loud bellow, and Sakura felt the brief anger melt from her instantly. She smiled a little and shook her head, feeling a warmth crawl into her chest that was quickly becoming a sensation she associated with being around Naruto.

Uncrossing her arms, Sakura walked closer to the boy, gently grabbing his hand ignoring his slight flinch. He smiled back at her, and slowly his hand clamped down on hers like a vice.

She felt like Naruto’s smiles were a language all there own, as each one she’d seen that day had been vastly different. Sakura couldn’t wait to see each and every one of them. She couldn't wait to be there with him every time he played a prank, to eat lunch with him and spar with him, to laugh at his terrible drawings and correct him when he said things wrong...to really be...friends.

She just couldn’t understand why Ino seemed to feel so differently…

Having Ino back had made her realize she didn’t want to lose her again, even if things _had_ changed…she was still her first friend. She didn’t want to choose between them, so she could only hope that Ino would come around and realize they could all be friends together.

…only once she apologized to Naruto though.

“Well…” Naruto said, swinging their clasped hands back and forth, “Let’s go get some ramen then!”

 

—

 

“I’m home.” A weary Inoichi called as he entered his home, grabbing a towel by the door to dry himself off. He’d gotten caught in a sudden torrential downpour on his way home, a summer storm that'd had him drenched in seconds.

“Welcome home, darling.” His wife said quietly from where she stood beneath the halls archway. He knew from a a single look at her face that she was troubled by something.

After slipping off his shoes and into his slippers, Inoichi closed the distance between he and his wife. Placing his palms on either side of her face, he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, sighing.

“What’s gone wrong now?” He murmured with a smile. His wife’s own lips twitched in response.

“I don’t think Ino’s first day went quite as well as she’d hoped.” She said with a sigh. “She wouldn’t eat her dinner, so I put her to work in the flower shop…she’s out in the greenhouse now. I kicked her out there after she crushed the fifth violet.”

“Ah Tsubaki…” Inoichi clucked his tongue, “Always so strict…”

“Perhaps.” Tsubaki sniffed, “But it was the best option—both for her and the shop—at least until you arrived home.”

Again Inoichi sighed, patting his wife’s cheek. There relationship was perhaps a strange one to others, who often would see Tsubaki as a cold and harsh woman—but he knew his wife was neither of those things. She’d known their daughter had needed time alone, away from both work and her mother’s watchful eye.

“I’ll give you two a half an hour. Dessert will be ready by then.” She said as she turned towards the kitchen. “It’s pudding.”

Pudding. It was Ino’s favorite, and Inoichi smiled at that.

Dismissed, he started down the hall towards the back door that lead out into the attached greenhouse. He pulled the curtain aside to peek out, seeing the crouched figure of his young daughter a ways away. 

He took several more moments to watch her, eyes soft and mind running through several ways to go about the situation. He could see her shoulders shake every few moments, and he decided to wait until they stilled before entering. It was not out of any reluctance to see her crying that he waited, but a deep understanding of his daughters prideful nature—mostly because it was much the same as his own.

Even as young as she was, Inoichi could already see the makings of a wonderful Yamanaka clan head in his daughter. If Shikamaru was considered a genius in strategy and shogi, then he’d bet his clans fortune that his daughter was a genius when it came to understanding people. Emotions and body language—she’d always been so intuitive in that manner but…

…but it was that intuitive understanding that had blinded him to the fact that his daughter _was_ still just a young girl…a young girl who he had perhaps done a disservice to by telling her the truth of the tragedy that befell her friend. Or at the very least, in not preparing her as well as he could have for the possible ramifications of that tragedy...and her small part in it, as unintentional as it had been.

Just that morning she’d seemed so chipper…worryingly so. She’d been acting as if everything was entirely normal, like nothing had changed. She’d even told Tsubaki to set the table for four that night, she was so sure Sakura would be coming. Inoichi had a feeling that assumption had been turned on it’s head, and may be the root of his daughters tears.

With a nod, Inoichi made some deliberate noise outside the door, opening the door as slowly as he could to give Ino enough time to regain her control. Seeing her finish wiping at her cheeks, the Yamanaka clan head drifted over to the wrought iron bench on which his daughter sat facing away from him.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, and wondered at how it large it seemed there. As he sat down he pulled her into his side, not looking at her as she sniffled.

“Bad first day back?” He asked gently, rubbing up and down her arm.

“Sakura-chan didn’t want to come over…” Ino said with a wobble in her voice. Then, following a long silence, she suddenly pressed her face into his side with a loud shaky breath in.

“She must _hate_ me.”

Inoichi pressed his eyes closed tightly at the distraught sound she made. He couldn’t even tell her she was wrong, having no idea how Sakura had responded upon seeing Ino again. He wished he could say for sure that his daughters friend didn’t hate her, but considering the circumstances he couldn’t, not without lying…and Ino had always been able to tell when she was being coddled.

“What happened?” He settled on and, as expected, she let loose.

As his daughter recounted the day, slowly Inoichi felt the tension bleed from his shoulders, even as Ino became increasingly more distraught as the story went on.

“—and then she, she said she’d already made plans with _Naruto_. Naruto of all people! She had to be lying, she had to be lying so she didn’t have to come over.She must hate me, she must not want to be friends anymore...why else would she want to hang out with him instead of me?” Ino finished with a hiccup, wiping her wet face on his jounin vest. “So I told him that he was fooling himself if he thought she was really his friend, and that he should back off!”

“…Perhaps Sakura does want to be his friend though?” Inoichi said, finally pulling away from his daughter to catch her eye. “Is that so impossible to believe?”

“Yes!” Ino said vehemently, and Inoichi’s stomach sank. 

“And why is that?”

“Be—because, everyone knows you don’t hang out with him!  I mean, all he does is play pranks and get in trouble and play hooky! He’s super annoying and loud and gross, just today I saw him pick his nose _three times_ —”

“Ino.” Inoichi stopped her with a sigh and a gentle voice. “Listen to me carefully now…Sakura doesn’t hate you, although you’ll probably need to hand out some hefty apologies after saying those things to Naruto. It seems to me that Sakura _wants_ to stay friends with you…but she also wants to be friends with Naruto.”

With a wobbling lip Ino looked away from him, and Inoichi took the moment to wipe the remaining tears from her cheeks.

“Do you want to stay friends with Sakura?” He asked quietly, and Ino nodded with a sniff. “Well then…I think you’ll just have to make peace with the fact that being friends with Sakura may now mean also being friends with Naruto. Thing's have changed...and that's okay. _Change_ is okay.”

“But—but even mom says not to hang out with him!” Ino cried, causing Inoichi to freeze. “She say’s he’s a demon child—”

“I’m sure that your mother didn’t say that.” Inoichi said tightly.

“Yes she did—!”

“—and even _if_ she did,” He interrupted, “that’s no excuse for you to mistreat anyone. You should make your own decisions on people, based on facts and experiences, rather than just disliking them because someone else tells you to. Understand?”

With lips pulled in tight, his daughter nodded. He could tell her agreement was perfunctory, rather than one of real understanding, and he rubbed at his temples with a sigh.

There wasn’t much more he could do…besides have a long and detailed talk with her mother about where exactly she’d gotten these ideas into her head.

The mind was like a tree in that way—the only way to truly change it’s direction was to slowly prune it over time...but even then it was still up to the tree to grow in the right direction. A push could either uproot it, killing it forever, or force it to grow deeper roots to stand it’s ground more firmly. 

He’d just have to hope she thought on what he’d said…and made the right decisions. 

 

—

 

“Gah, I hate the rain!” Naruto shouted as he and Sakura sprinted towards the orphanage. “Why the hell does it even exist? All it does it make mud puddles and get everything wet and then no ones happy!”

Sakura giggled breathlessly at the theatrics, but stopped quickly to save her breath. He really was difficult to keep up with, especially when the ground was slipping and sliding beneath her. Plus, the stitch in her side from overeating ramen and then running wasn't helping either...she really had no idea where Naruto had put the three bowls of ramen he'd eaten.

Up ahead the outline of the orphanage came into view, and Naruto sped up at the sight of it, eager to get out of the sudden downpour they'd been caught in. Sakura however, seeing the doors closed, slowed down with a dreadful feeling settling in the pit of her stomach.

“Wha—the doors are closed already? But it’s nowhere near curfew!” Naruto grumbled as he reached the orphanage doors. He gave it a shake and then a solid kick. “Hey! Open up! We’re not late yet!”

Sakura, finally catching up, joined Naruto on the porch under the overhanging roof. She was soaked and shivering, and she was a bit jealous looking at Naruto who seemed untouched by the cooling night air. She put a hand on his shoulder to hold him back when she realized he looked about to kick a hole right through the washi paper of the door—pissing off their caregiver certainly wouldn't help there situation.

Naruto grumbled but put his foot down, although not before giving the wood paneling one more solid kick. Inside there was a shuffling of bodies, but no one came to the door, and there was no other sound.

“Man…I can’t believe that jerk.” Naruto mumbled, plopping down crosslegged on the porch with bright eyes. “We’re not even late yet and he’s still locking us out?”

Sakura sighed as she followed suit and sat down beside him. She let her head rest against the door and slowly leaned her shoulder against Naruto’s, who startled at the contact as usual. It was something she'd noticed, that Naruto really wasn't used to physical contact, and so she always was slow to enter his personal space.

It was rather unusual for Sakura to be so touchy feely in the first place...her parents had always kept physical affection behind doors, and Sakura had always followed suit but...but she didn't really see the point of holding back anymore. And neither Naruto or Ino had seemed to mind her extra affection.

_Well...it looks like we'll be out here for the night…_ Sakura mused as she wrung her pink hair out as best she could. Nakamura _had_ said that once the door was closed he wouldn’t let anyone in...

Was this because of the prank she’d pulled that morning? Was this her fault? 

She had a feeling it was, and so with one finger she wrote on the dry wooden boards beside her, using the puddle of water she'd created from wringing out her hair as an ink well.

‘I’m sorry. This is my fault.’ She wrote, hoping the words wouldn’t fade too quick for Naruto to read. ‘He’s punishing both of us, for my prank.’

“Nah, he’s just a jerk.” Naruto said after a long while. It was much more subdued an answer than Sakura had expected from him. “And anyways…if it’s anyone’s fault...it’s mine.”

Stunned, Sakura sat up straight, hand already writing out her disagreement—but Naruto continued before she could finish and didn’t look at her words anyways.

“He’s doin' this ‘cuz he doesn’t like me…no one likes me actually.” He said, pulling his knees up to his chest and looking off distantly into the hazy wall of rain pouring down from the roof.

“…except you, for some reason.”

At this Naruto looked over at her, his chin resting on his knees. His smile was warm enough to chase away the chill of the rain, but it dimmed quickly. “Although…I guess now that means he doesn’t like you either…which is why you’re out here with me.”

Sakura’s brows furrowed, uncertain what to say. She wouldn’t lie…she was sure there were many who would dislike her now but…she supposed she’d just come to the conclusion that she didn’t need them to like her anymore.

“But…but that’s gonna change, y’know.” Naruto continued, his voice slowly raising with conviction. “One day…I’m gonna be hokage, and then no one will dislike me anymore. And they’ll love you too, ‘cuz you’ll be friends with the hokage, and then…then stuff like this won’t happen again, ‘attebayo!”

Hokage. He wanted to be hokage? 

Sakura stared at Naruto, surprised at the surety she saw in his expression, the sheer _drive_. It was an admirable goal, she decided as Naruto looked at her tentatively. Admirable, if perhaps unattainable. Although, really, what did she know…she was just a civilian raised academy student, she hardly even knew how the hokage got his position…

If all you needed was pure strength of will and motivation well…she absolutely certain that Naruto could reach his goal. 

She didn’t think she’d ever felt that way about any of her own goals…but then what had been her goals before? Really it’s just been to be like Ino…smart, pretty, strong, popular…

But what did she care about now? What was her goal?

_“But if you’re thinking of revenge…just give up. A civilian born girl like you wouldn’t stand a chance. He’s mine to kill, to avenge my family…and I will kill him.”_

Revenge…that’s what Sasuke’s goal was, that’s what he thought _her_ goal was as well didn't he? Or perhaps justice was the right word? She didn’t know.

Still…the idea of seeing that man again, that man in the mask who’d destroyed her family, her voice, her life…it made her sick. Yes...she wanted him to pay but...more than that, she just wanted the truth. She just wanted to know...why? Why did he do it? 

She didn’t think her goal would ever be to kill him though…did that make her weak?

Sasuke probably would think so…but Sakura…Sakura was beginning to find that strength came in many different forms. Perhaps the best strength was the kind you found in the people around you—in making them smile, in defending them…in keeping them safe.

Could that be her goal? To stand by her friends? To keep everyone safe and happy? 

‘It’s a good goal.’ She finally wrote finally,  ‘But even if you don’t become hokage, I’ll still be your friend. I like you, and I don’t care if people dislike me for it.’

Immediately after she finished writing out her last words, Naruto blushed bright red beside her. As he hid his face in the fold of his arms wrapped around his knees, Sakura snorted.

“J-jeez, Sakura-chan…I don’t know how you write that stuff without blushing. It’s kinda embarrassing—” Playfully, Sakura interrupted Naruto with a punch to the arm and a mock glare.

“Ah, Sakura-chan, that arm’s still bruised from earlier!” Naruto laughed as Sakura rolled her eyes. “But…thanks, y’know…”

Sakura smiled even as she shivered, teeth chattering. She could tell by the guilty frown that settled on Naruto’s face that he could tell she was cold, but there wasn’t much to be done besides huddle closer to him. He was a bit of a heater himself though, so it helped a bit.

Then, just as she was coming to terms with the idea that she wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night, the door behind them slid open. Although Sakura caught herself before she could fall backwards through the suddenly open door, Naruto wasn’t so lucky. 

“Wha—!” Quickly, a hand slapped over Naruto’s mouth. 

“Shh!” A voice whispered. Then, a head peaked out of the gloom of the open door, and Sakura realized who it was.

Tenten. Of course...she was the only one tall enough in their house—besides Nakamura that is—to reach the lock on the door. 

Tentatively, Sakura watched the girl, and was relieved when she smiled and slowly removed her hand from Naruto’s mouth.

“Nakamura just left out the back door, I think he’s in the kitchen or something…we don’t have much time, c'mon!” Tenten whispered, shuffling aside so they could enter the house. 

Quickly, she herded them around the rows of futons and their glaring occupants and out to the shared bath in the hall. Once she’d closed the door as quietly as possible, she handed them both a towel to dry off with, which they both took eagerly.

As Naruto and Sakura hurried out off their sodden outer clothes, leaving them just in their damp under shirts and shorts, Tenten shuffled nervously in the cramped space.

“Nakamura-san…he was really angry about what happened this morning. He said he was cutting curfew off early to punish everyone, and when you didn’t show up in time…I decided to wait and let you in.”

Sakura was surprised to hear her say she’d waited specifically for them, but also incredibly grateful. She certainly couldn’t imagine having to stay out there on that wet, cold porch all night.

‘Thank you.’ Sakura signed towards Tenten.

“I’m hoping that means ‘thank you’ and isn’t some kind of curse word or something…” Tenten giggled nervously. 

“It does—I think.” Naruto said as he stuffed his head into the towel to vigorously dry it, “Although, woulda been nice if you’d let us in a bit sooner—we were out there awhile, y’know!”

Tenten looked to the tiled floor of the bathroom and pursed her lips, “I would have! But…I had to wait until Nakamura-san was gone…”

Naruto popped his head out of the towel with a suspicious look, and Sakura casually kicked at his ankle to stop him from saying something ungrateful.

“I’m…I’m sorry, by the way.” Tenten whispered, “I didn’t know, that you were, um, _y’know_ …and I kept pushing you to talk to everyone and—and I’m just sorry. When Iruka-sensei told everyone this morning that you couldn't speak...I felt horrible.”

Suddenly, Tenten looked up from the floor and directly at them. Her expression was fierce and determined as she held both their gazes.

“To both of you actually. I’m sorry—Naruto—for excluding you, and not saying anything when you got in trouble.” Tenten said suddenly, surprising Sakura and Naruto both. 

“You were the only one who stood up when Daisuke was being his usual terrible self and I…I didn’t do anything. I’m supposed to be the oldest around here. I’m supposed to be in charge…I should’ve said something… _Tsunade-sama_ would’ve said something…”

“It—it’s okay.” Naruto said shyly, “And anyways—Sakura-chan got that frog faced bully back real good for what he did!”

“Yeah,” Tenten giggled, “That was pretty funny—although I still can’t believe it was Sakura-chan that—”

Suddenly, a door slammed and all three children jumped. Nakamura-san’s steps echoed down the hall and past the bathroom where they all stood frozen, grumbling to himself about something or another. 

Only when they heard his private rooms' door slide closed did they all breath again. Tenten carefully peeked her head out the door to make sure the coast was clear.

“I guess we should get going now that you’re both dry…just be really quiet…” Tenten whispered as they both nodded.

Finally, they settled down for the night, quietly folding out their futons beneath the curious—and quiet, thankfully—stares of the other children in the orphanage. Daisuke in particular had poked his head up with narrow eyes—mouth open as if to say something—but it only took one narrow glare from Tenten for him to flinch and shut it. Sakura was relieved when he and the other kids all turned their backs to them.

As Sakura cuddled into her warm downy comforter, Naruto's deafening snores already beginning, she let out a great sigh. The first day back was over. It was done, for better or worse.

She let all her worries for the _next_ day drift from her mind, unwilling to let the negative outweigh the positive of the day. She let all of it go—her anxiety over school, her anger and disappointment at Ino, her fear of that strange shadowy figure hovering over Daisuke…

But instead of letting herself go numb, forgetting everything...this time she tried focusing on the positive, all the good things that had happened. Her teacher complimenting her control, Ino hugging her, Naruto’s hand in hers, Tenten apologizing and letting them in from the rain…And that was something she hadn't expected wasn't it? Tenten apologizing... her willingness to help them even though she may get in trouble for it...it gave her hope that Ino would come around too.

There was no point focusing on everything that had gone wrong…it wouldn’t change anything would it? No, despair had done nothing for Sakura…dwelling on it and getting angry only made it worse. The truth was...the only way to make things better, was to face that despair head on, look at it directly in the face, and then...find a way to get rid of it. 

She'd changed the things she was unhappy with by herself...she'd reached out to Naruto, she'd gotten justice against Daisuke, she'd stood up for herself and her convictions...if she could do all that, she was sure she could change Ino's mind about Naruto. She was sure they could all be friends, if she just tried.

On the edge of sleep, breath steady and calm, Sakura suddenly realized a terrible truth about herself—as so many do when they walk that line between reality and dreams.

As awful as everything that had happened to her was, as much as she wished it had never happened at all…she was...happy. She’d never felt more _real_ , more true to herself and who she was than she did now.

It was strange, how the death of everything she knew had, in a way, made her feel more alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Yamato appearance :) I always liked him...thought he deserved more screen time honestly, so I'm giving it to him. I would like to say however...that there will be no Mokuton Sakura in this (just in case anyone thought that's why he's in this fic haha).
> 
> Next chapter...it's gonna be a doozy. Get ready folks.


	8. Illusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man did this chapter get soooo long...but I just really couldn't bring myself to cut anything from it. Also, sorry for my late replies to all your wonderful comments! I love reading them, but sometimes it takes me a bit to come up with replies :)

_"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."_

-Albert Einstein

 

—

 

“Okay, this time I’m gonna get at _least_ past the third circle!”

Sakura closed the book she was reading, one on the basics of performing bunshin no jutsu, and went to stand beside Naruto’s shoulder eagerly. She watched avidly as Naruto took a deep breath and put on his best ‘concentration face.’ Usually she couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the expression, but today she was just as serious as Naruto.

“Slowly, slowly…” He murmured from beside her. Sakura peered over his shoulder with a hopeful look as he carefully channelled chakra into the piece of paper in front of him, one which was ordained with a dark swirling spiral interspersed with small circles.

Slowly, Naruto’s chakra moved up the spiral, hitting the first of the ten circles and darkening it.

It didn’t move any further, and both Naruto and Sakura’s mouths fell open.

“Wha—it’s even worse than last time!” Naruto groaned, clutching his hair. “How is it worse? I’ve been practicing like, _every day!”_

With a frown Sakura patted his shoulder in a hopeless attempt to comfort him. In his usual dramatic way he’d thrown himself down at the table in a sprawl of limbs and frustrated noises.

‘It’s okay.’ Sakura signed, glad that the last eight months of learning Standard seemed to be paying off. ‘Today is just a bad day.’

She was a little jealous that Naruto seemed to actually catch on to Standard faster than she did actually—something about the very hands on approach Yamato took to teaching them seemed to work for Naruto. Now if only he did as well with controlling and using his chakra as he did with Standard…

Again Naruto groaned, understanding her signs even from the corner of his eye. “ _Every_ day is a bad day. I’m never gonna get it…practicing is useless—at least with taijutsu I actually get _better._ ”

With a sigh Sakura slumped down next to him, nodding along as he went on a rant about how awful chakra control was and how he just didn't get why it was so difficult and blah blah blah…

She was used to this by now—as much as Naruto had a ‘never give up’ mentality…it certainly didn’t stop him from loving to complain. So she’d become a bit of a sounding board in the past months as he’d opened up more and more—something she was glad for as much as she was also considering investing in some ear plugs.

As he continued grumbling, Sakura pulled the sheet of paper over to her side of the table with her usual curiosity. Carefully she channeled some chakra into the paper, and Naruto suddenly stopped talking as the circles lit up one by one.

“Sakura-chan…you’re so good at that.” Naruto said, half admiring and half pouting. “You almost get to the center every time…”

Sakura had found it on her third foray into the academy library, this amazing seal that could test how efficient your chakra control was. She had no idea how it worked, and there unfortunately weren’t any books on sealing within the academy library…so she’d resorted to asking the librarian. He hadn’t been very helpful either, and she knew the librarian found her fascination with the chakra control tester rather confusing. Considering most kids that came in to the library only wanted to know about ‘cool ninjutsu,’ as he put it, she could understand why.

The fact was…Sakura really only found it interesting because it was the first seal she’d come in contact with outside her own. Since she couldn’t even talk or ask about the seal on her forehead, naturally it seemed the next best option was to learn everything she could about sealing in general. Although it was a surprisingly difficult subject to get any information on...she'd had more luck finding 'cool ninjutsu' than anything else.

But her interest in all things sealing wasn’t what had drawn her to the library in the first place. No, as strange as it sounded, it had been Naruto.

She’d quickly realized over the past months that Naruto was falling behind her and everyone else in chakra control…he had tried to hide how much it bothered him at first, but Sakura could see right through his act—especially since he’d often cause trouble during the chakra control portion of class. He always did that, she noticed—caused trouble to draw attention away from something he was uncomfortable with.

It was then that she’d taken it upon herself to find a way to help him with his control. She was the best in her class when it came to the leaf concentration technique so she figured a little help from her and he’d catch up quick.

That…wasn’t the way it turned out unfortunately.

Every day, for at least a month, Sakura had sat with Naruto and tried to help him with his control, but to no avail. It was then that she had the idea to search the academy library for anything she could find to help—which she’d realized quickly was actually the _only_ library she could enter in Konoha that had shinobi paraphernalia in it—or at least the only shinobi library that she could enter until she was a genin or higher. And even in the academy library she wasn’t allowed to take anything out, unlike the civilian library her mother had often taken her to.

Over the months, the library quickly became like a second home to her. With all it’s knowledge and books and wonderfully quiet rooms…and of course the chakra control tester. She’d almost been reluctant to bring Naruto there to test his control—if only because Naruto was quite loud and her haven would undoubtably be disrupted—but she’d pushed the selfish instinct away quickly.

Unfortunately, it seemed that the tester only exasperated Naruto’s situation, showing them just how little he was progressing each week—or in this case, how much he was _regressing._ She just couldn’t understand…every time it seemed as if he was getting better, a week later he was back to the point he’d begun at. It was honestly beginning to worry Sakura.

“Sakura-chan, let’s go get ramen, ne?” Naruto said nudging the seal away from her.

‘Really?” She signed as she pointedly looked at the tester. ‘You did worse than last week.’

“I know, I know but…Sakura-chan, ramen would be so good right now, it’d be—what’s it called—motivation?”

‘Nope.’ Sakura shook her head as she signed sharply. ‘Training.’

Naruto pouted a bit but acquiesced in the end, and she pulled him out of the library and towards the training grounds. They’d made a deal all those months ago—they’d go out for ramen only if he got farther on the tester seal than he had the last week. Sakura had mostly made that rule to keep him from dragging her to Ichiraku’s every week…honestly, she could only take so much salt.

Plus she’d realized—the money he payed for it with? It was money given to him by the hokage for _school_ _supplies_ …she’d been pretty angry when she’d found that he’d been spending it all on something as indulgent as ramen. Although she could understand now that she was getting the same scraps as him at the orphanage...something made worse by the fact that she knew first hand how good of a cook Nakamura was.

Still, considering how tight her own money was, she hadn't been able to stand by and let Naruto waste all of his monthly stipend. The only money she had left from her the selling of her parents home went mostly to paying her tuition to the academy, and anything left over was strictly for school supplies. The idea was that the rest would be supplied by the orphanage—clothing, food ect.—and it was...as she didn’t piss Nakamura off. And, considering she seemed to do that just by hanging out with Naruto, well...she'd learned pretty quick to budget her own monthly stipend to stretch as far as possible.

She’d also been pretty appalled that no one had told Naruto what exactly he’d need for the school year…and don’t even get her started on the shop owners. After being kicked out of a store for a third time she’d just decided to take Naruto’s money and buy the supplies for him.

Most of shop owners remembered her from her time spent shopping with her mother and gave her some good deals…it was insane just how much their treatment of her changed as soon as Naruto wasn’t with her.

As they arrived at the deserted academy training grounds Sakura gave Naruto a bit of an evil smile. He looked at her suspiciously as she moved around the edge of the yard, and she immediately saw his shoulders slump as she came back with an armful of leaves.

“The leaf exercise again? Sakura-chan, I don’t wanna…” He started, but Sakura quickly shushed him with a warning glare. Then, with as serious a face as she could muster, she walked up to him and…

…dumped the leaves over the top of his head.

“Hey!” Naruto laughed as he brushed the leaves away and tried to avoid her vigorous attempts to stick one into his ear. As he jumped out of her range he pointed at her with narrowed eyes.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it! But—you need to practice taijutsu! If I’ve gotta do something I hate, then so do you.”

Scrunching her nose up, Sakura sighed but eventually put her hand out. With a simultaneous nod they shook on it and, deal made, Naruto settled down in the seated meditation position as Sakura fell into her kata’s.

She really hated taijutsu…it always made her so _tired_. And like Naruto’s control, it just felt like she was getting nowhere with it. Her form would get better, true, but everything else…it was terrible. She honestly thought she was better at taijutsu last year than she was this year, which was strange.

Plus she’d been rather excited to try out that clone jutsu she’d been reading about in the library…although with how Naruto felt right now, maybe performing a jutsu they hadn’t even been taught yet would upset him. Or worse—make him want to try it too and only frustrate him further if he couldn’t get it.

It was nearly a half an hour later that Sakura lay on the ground, breathing hard and gaze hazy. Behind her, Naruto gave a shout of rage as his leaf flew off his head for the hundredth time.

“Gah! This—stupid—” In frustration Naruto stood and began kicking and stomping at the leaves around him. Sakura barely had the energy to turn her head and watch him flail.

Finally Naruto stopped and plopped down among the mess of leaves, collapsing backwards so his head was right next to hers on the ground. They both stared up at the darkening sky, shivering a bit in the early spring air as the sweat cooled on their skin.

Sakura pulled her scarf a little closer around her to ward off the chill of the approaching night, the air still cold with the last dredges of winter even though the trees had bloomed with spring. It was already the end of March, two days before her eighth birthday in fact…soon she knew her scarf would once again become a hot and heavy thing around her neck, and she dreaded it. Still, the dread wasn’t enough to outweigh her aversion to baring her neck for all to see, and she didn’t have the money to buy a lighter one.

The only sound was the warbling of the spring frogs in the distance—they always came out about this time, on the edge of night. She smiled to hear them—they reminded her of her first gift to Naruto for his seventh birthday last October, which she'd spent most of her extra money on. It was a book on frogs, a kind of private joke in reference to how they’d become friends, and it’d taken all her saved up pocket money to buy it. She still remembered how happy he’d been to get a birthday present…Sakura was sure Naruto had never read a book so fast in his life, nor been so interested in one.

After that, Naruto had been a fount of knowledge when it came to frogs. Naruto had told her the distinct warbling they’d been hearing all month were from spring ‘peeper’ frogs, and then—all hushed and conspiratorial—he’d told her they made those noises as part of their _mating call_ of all things. Ever since then, whenever they heard the sound of the peepers, they’d share a knowing look and giggle a bit, as silly as it was.

But now, when she looked over at Naruto, he didn’t look back and he didn’t giggle. He seemed unnervingly serious actually.

“…what if I never get it?” Naruto said quietly, “What if…what if I can never do anything but taijutsu? And even that, I’m not great at…”

Sakura brows pulled together in worry at his soft declaration, but the words of comfort didn’t come to her. After all…it’d been months now since they’d started training his chakra control, to no avail. He still could only just barely keep the leaf stuck to his head, even now eight months since they’d been shown the technique.

“I mean…whose ever heard of a hokage who couldn’t do ninjutsu? Maybe everyone’s right…maybe it is impossible for me to be hokage…” Naruto continued, worrying Sakura further. It was unusual to hear him sound so discouraged…unheard of even. Naruto had never seemed anything but a force of nature to Sakura...but apparently even he could feel like giving up some times.

Uncertain, Sakura raised her hands to sign out something, anything, to comfort him—but before she could, someone else beat her to it.

“So what if you can’t do ninjutsu?!” A voice suddenly shouted from the tree line, startling them both. “I think anyone can be a great shinobi—even with just taijutsu!”

Sakura and Naruto both sat up at that, turning to face the new arrival. It was a boy, one who looked to be a bit older than them—around Tenten’s age maybe—who was staring at them fiercely. Sakura saw in his eyes the same kind of determination she often saw in Naruto’s…but unfortunately she couldn’t seem to focus on his eyes, as her gaze kept drifting up to what was above them.

Those were…some very large brows.

“Uh…who’re you?” Naruto said with a scowl.

“Lee! Rock Lee!” The boy said with a smile, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to interrupt your admirably vigorous training but…I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t let a fellow academy student think such terrible things!”

Sakura smiled at his enthusiasm, and then a lightbulb went off in her head. Rock Lee…she recognized that name! She’d heard Tenten talk about him…he must be in her class?

“Yeah? What do you know about it anyways?” Naruto grumbled as he crossed his arms, looking unusually surly. “I bet you’re just _great_ at ninjutsu…”

Naruto was looking away from the dark haired boy, but Sakura wasn't and she saw how his face darkened at the words.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Lee said with a frown. “I, like you, can perform neither ninjutsu or genjutsu. But, that hasn’t stopped me! I’ll be the best shinobi in Konoha anyways!”

Sakura couldn't help the little gasp she let out at Lee's words. Beside her Naruto uncrossed his arms and gave the boy a more open appraisal.

“Really?” Naruto said, the scowl on his face being replaced by surprise. “You can’t do ninjutsu either? But you’re older than me!”

“Indeed—my grandmother says I was born with deformed chakra coils that prevent me from molding my yin and yang chakras together, so I can only use taijutsu…” Lee said with a frown, before suddenly clenching his fist with an intense look of determination.

“But that doesn’t matter—I have faith hard work can overcome such things! And anyways, my grandma always says—if we don't believe in ourselves, who will?”

There was a moment of silence that followed the boys vigorous exclamation, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. It was charged with sheer willpower, and it sparked something in Naruto. Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin when he suddenly stood and pointed at Lee.

“Yeah…yeah, you’re right!” Naruto said, and Lee nodded vigorously, “I’m gonna be hokage no matter what—even if I can never keep this dumb leaf on my forehead! Thanks bushy brows!”

“Of course! Anything for a fellow—uh, wait—bushy brows?”

‘Naruto! That's rude!’ Sakura signed vehemently as she stood, before promptly punching him on the shoulder. 

“Wha—it’s just a nickname! And I mean…have you seen them?”

‘Well…yes. They are really…’ Sakura stumbled over the word ‘bushy’ not knowing it’s equivalent in Standard, ‘…big. But still—rude!’

“I…am confused.” Lee said looking back and forth between them. “But…there’s only one training ground for students open this late so…do you two wanna train together?”

“Hell yeah! Lets spar! I’ve been sitting for _ages._ ” Naruto cried, and Lee mirrored his excitement.

“Wonderful! May I know the names of my opponents?” Lee said, and Sakura suddenly realized his manner of speech was rather archaic. Sakura wondered if he was always that formal and polite…it reminded her quite a bit of Himeko actually…

“My names Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto.” Her friend said, and then he pointed to her and introduced her in his usual brutally honest way.

“And this is my best friend Sakura—she’s mute.”

“It’s good to meet you Naruto and Sakura!” Lee said with a smile.

Sakura was actually impressed at how easily he ignored the fact that she couldn’t speak. She relaxed a bit, having not even realized how tense she’d been in anticipation.

‘Nice to meet you too.’ Sakura signed to him, which Naruto quickly translated for her—right before he threw himself at Lee in a head-on attack.

“Let’s see what you’ve got bushy brows!”

It was the beginning of a wonderful friendship, and Sakura groaned as she watched them.

They had way too much energy.

She’d only just met this Lee kid and already she could tell Lee might rival Naruto in terms of sheer endurance. Hopefully they’d entertain each other while she took a break…her muscles couldn’t take anymore.

Quietly Sakura drifted over to sit with her back to a tree not far away, keeping her distance from Naruto and Lee’s spar. When they looked over at her she just waved them on, telling Naruto she’d just watch.

She watched as Lee quickly gained the advantage in his fight with Naruto, thinking over what the large browed boy had said earlier—and making a sudden connection.

Lee had issues with chakra molding too…and he’d said they'd been caused by chakra coil deformities. Did…did Naruto maybe have chakra coil deformities too, ones that had just gone undiagnosed?

At the thought, everything started to make come together in Sakura’s mind. No matter how hard Naruto tried, how much time he put into practicing, every gain he made seemed to slip away by the end of the week…it made sense that there could be an actual issue with his coils that was preventing him from getting better at control!

It was both relieving and worrying that Naruto may have something wrong with his coils. On one hand…if it was something small, maybe they could fix it and then Naruto would quickly catch up to the rest of the class. But if it wasn’t small, if it was something like Lee had, then…Naruto may never be able to catch up.

And as positive as Lee was about his situation…it could also very well mean that Naruto would never reach his dream of becoming hokage. After all, Sakura _had_ never heard of a hokage that could only use taijutsu.

Sakura…couldn’t let that happen. They were friends now, and friends helped each other reach their dreams didn’t they? Sakura didn’t want Naruto to get left behind…but…what could she do?

_“…my name is Hyuuga Himeko. I’m a specialty medic…sent by the hokage…seems like you chakra coils are recovering well…”_

It was a flash of inspiration. Himeko—she’d been there specifically for the damage done to Sakura's chakra coils, hadn’t she? She’d said she was a specialty medic, one who the hokage knew of _personally_ even, so she must be quite good.

…but had she said her specialty was chakra coils? Sakura couldn’t remember…but it seemed feasible, especially considering how much time she’d spent monitoring Sakura’s coils when she’d been in the hospital.

She should ask her if she could take a look at Naruto—maybe she could help him like she’d helped her! Of course—surely Himeko would be able to do something.

With a smile, Sakura made up her mind to go to the hospital the next day before class and ask after Himeko. Surprisingly…she rather missed the woman, as annoying as her unfailingly polite smile and her use of '-san' for her name had been. Sakura knew behind veneer of polite distance that the woman had cared for her at least a little—otherwise she never would have given her the scarf she wore everyday.

 

—

 

The next morning Sakura stomped into class with a scowl. Her foray to the hospital had not been productive—in fact, the medic-nin’s had actually _laughed_ at her.

She’d gone up to the front desk with a smile and a written note, unsure if anyone at the desk would know Standard, and the receptionist had seemed polite if a bit bewildered when she took her piece of paper. It was only after she’d taken the time to read Sakura’s note that she’d started laughing.

“A Hyuuga medic-nin? Working here?” She’d laughed, looking at her with a like she was crazy. “Nice one kid, but that’s too ridiculous to fool me into leaving my post. What do you really want, to steal a lollipop or something?”

Sakura had been confused at first, and it had obviously showed as the receptionist had quickly stopped laughing.

“Oh, you’re serious?” The receptionist had said with an incredulous look. Then she’d laughed again and shook her head.

“Well, whoever told you to find this ‘Hyuuga Himeko’ here was messing with you. There has never been a Hyuuga working in this hospital, and mark my words there never will be—they’re much too ‘prestigious’ to have one of their clan members working in someplace as plebeian as a _hospital_. Gods forbid they actually be in a position that has to interact with _civilians._ ”

And after that acidic comment, Sakura had been forced to take a grape lollipop and shuffled out the front doors of the reception area. She didn’t even _like_ grape. Or lolipops.

With a huff Sakura shoved the offending lollipop into Chouji’s hand as she passed him, only barely nodding in acknowledgment to his exclamation of thanks. As she walked up the aisle she briefly made eye contact with Ino, and they both smiled at one another awkwardly. Everyday Ino left the seat to her right open, the one closest to the aisle…and everyday Sakura would smile at her and walk right past it, instead taking the seat next to Naruto.

Things between them had been…lukewarm, since that first day back at the academy.

Ino had tried several times after the incident to pull Sakura back into her groups fold, but she’d stalwartly resisted. After the fifth time she’d refused to have lunch with her, Ami, and Sen, Ino had stopped asking. It was saddening to be so distant from her, and Sakura tried not to dwell too much on her strained friendship with Ino.

Still, even if Ino didn’t join her and Naruto during the day, she did continue to come to Standard class after school, so Sakura still held out hope that she’d come around. It seemed Ino just wasn’t ready yet to let go of her two giggling safety nets that always hung off her every word—and of course Sasuke’s every move.

That was certainly something Sakura would never understand—her classmates sudden obsession with the broody boy. Sure, Sasuke had been popular even before everything that had happened, but now…now every time he walked past there seemed to be a mass of girlish giggles that followed him.

For some reason his broody silence seemed to be ‘cool’ while Sakura’s was ‘weird.’

With a thump Sakura sat down next to Naruto, watching the door closely. The receptionist at the hospital had been far less helpful than she’d though she would be, but as she sat there unloading her books, Sakura realized that perhaps there _was_ someone who could help her find Himeko—someone right in this very classroom.

“Uh…Sakura-chan, what’re you looking at?” Naruto asked, giving her a strange look. Sakura blushed. She supposed she _was_ looking at the door to the classroom a bit too intently if even Naruto noticed.

Instead of answering Sakura’s hand suddenly shot up into the air with a jaunty wave. There, the person she’d been waiting for, walking into the classroom—her pale eyes met Sakura’s green ones with surprise. Sakura smiled and patted the empty seat beside her, and Hinata nodded with a bit of confusion as she slowly walked over to gingerly take a seat beside her.

“H-hello, Sakura-chan.” Hinata said with a little smile, avoiding looking past Sakura to where Naruto sat. Any time that they even accidentally met eyes the girl’s face turned so red she looked like a beet.

Sakura smiled at Hinata in response, signing a quick 'good morning' as Iruka walked into the classroom and called for them all to be quiet.

It was during their designated reading time that Sakura made her move, scribbling on a spare piece of paper and sliding it over to Hinata stealthily. She’d gotten a lot better at being sneaky with her notes over the months—it was a necessary thing to learn when you sat next to Naruto all the time.

Hinata however, was no where near as stealthy as she nervously whipped her head around to check if anyone had seen Sakura pass the note. It was rather adorable really.

‘Hinata—I have a question...do you know someone named Hyuuga Himeko?’

Sakura could feel Hinata's wide eyes staring into the side of her head upon reading the note, but the pink haired girl kept her head down as if engrossed in her textbook. After a long moment of hesitation, Sakura watched from the corner of her eye as the girl nervously pulled the paper closer to write out a response.

‘Yes.’ The note read simply.

‘Could you get a message to her for me?’ Sakura wrote quickly, inwardly cheering that Hinata knew Himeko. She continued to write without waiting for a response from the girl, excited.

‘I need to talk to her—tell her to meet me tomorrow in Ueno park, by the cherry blossom trees.’

Hinata looked up from the paper, and this time Sakura met her eyes. Slowly, Hinata nodded, looking rather uncomfortable with the idea—something which made Sakura back track a bit.

‘I mean—you don’t have to? I just really need to talk to her.’

‘No!’ Hinata wrote suddenly underneath Sakura’s line of text, almost before she’d even finished writing.‘It’s okay. I’ll tell her.’

With a sigh of relief Sakura nodded with a smile to the girl next to her, signing a quick thank you—one of the basic phrases that had been taught to the whole class regardless if they went to the after school classes or not. In response, Hinata ducked her head, her face red but a small smile blooming.

Still, as she returned back to her assigned readings, Sakura couldn’t help the stubborn feeling of guilt. Hintata _had_ seemed uncomfortable with the idea…she hoped she hadn’t pushed her into doing something she didn’t want to. It felt a bit like she was taking advantage of the girls eagerness to please.

Maybe she should invite her over to sit with them at lunch today as a thank you? Hm…then again, every time she and Naruto were in the same company Hinata turned into a giant stuttering mess, so maybe that would be a bad idea…

Ah well…she’d think of something. Maybe she’d be interested in joining her in the library or something? She’d certainly be better company in the library than Naruto was.

After all…she doubted that Hinata would try to glue the pages of her book together from boredom, so that was a definite improvement.

 

—

 

“Good job Sakura!” Iruka said with a smile. “First to break out of the genjutsu—as usual. Shino you were second, and Sasuke third. The only ones to not break out were…Naruto, Shikamaru, Ami and Sen.”

Iruka sighed. “Ami and Sen—please spend more time actually _concentrating_ , and less time staring at your fellow classmates. Naruto...well keep trying, you'll get it eventually...and Shikamaru—I _know_ you noticed the genjutsu. _Please_ break it next time.”

With a roll of his neck Shikamaru gave a sigh up towards the clouds—he only replied after Ino gave him a hard kick to the shin. “Yes, Sensei…”

“ _Thank you_. Now, who can tell me how they broke out of the genjutsu?”

Immediately Sakura raised her hand, ignoring the whisper of _‘teachers pet’_ by Ami. It wasn’t her fault no one else seemed to know the answers—they obviously weren’t studying enough that’s all…although to be fair Sakura also did quite a bit of research on the subject outside of class as well.

‘I disrupted my chakra flow.’ Sakura signed with pride as she stepped out of her place in the class line up.

“Yes, perfectly put. That’s exactly the way to break out of a genjutsu, by disrupting and controlling the flow of chakra in your body.” Iruka said with a nod, explaining for the rest of the class who couldn’t understand Standard.

“You can also cause yourself physical pain to counter a genjutsu, although it’s not recommended for obvious reasons. Now—Sakura, how did you notice the illusion?”

Sakura stopped to think. They’d been learning about genjutsu now for two months, although it had all been theory up until this last week when Iruka had began putting them under light illusions during their kata's and seeing how long it took them to notice them.

Sakura knew that genjutsu was the use of yin chakra to ‘infect’ other’s chakra networks, giving the senses false information to make the illusion ‘real.’ But the drawback to genjutsu was the fact that it _wasn’t_ real, and so it relied on the casters knowledge to _seem_ real. And that’s how you recognized a genjutsu—by the things that were wrong, or out of place.

‘The sun.’ Sakura signed slowly. ‘The sun hadn't moved at all in the past hour.’

Iruka’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “Very good. Indeed the sun stayed high in the sky, even though it was well past noon—a sure sign of an illusion. Shikamaru—I’m sure you noticed something similar since you seemed so intent on staring up into the clouds…”

With a shy smile Sakura stepped back into her place in line, suddenly feeling the itch of a gaze on the back of her neck. Carefully she turned her head to look behind her, and she was surprised at who she found staring at her.

It was Sasuke, and his stare wasn’t entirely friendly…in fact, was it a bit…angry?

Sakura scowled a bit as she turned back to the front, and she could feel his glare intensify at her dismissal. What did he have to be angry about? Just because she’d broken out of the genjutsu quicker than him? Shino had too—although apparently he had a bit of an advantage, something to do with those bugs he had she'd heard. 

Ridiculous. Sasuke was already top shinobi of the class, what more did he want? It’s not like _Sakura_ could become top shinobi, although she could become top _kunoichi._ Which, when she thought about it, was rather dumb wasn’t it?

She wondered how many other kids in the past could have been top of the entire class rather than just top shinobi or kunoichi, if they’d had such a thing.

She wondered if  _she_ could top of the class...but no, that was ridiculous—her taijutsu was much too terrible to beat out any of the boys.

 

—

 

Ino frowned as she watched the strangely tense exchange between Sakura and Sasuke from the corner of her eye. Her crushes behavior towards her once best friend hadn't gone unnoticed over the past months, but Ino wasn't sure what to make of it...unlike Ami and Sen, who picked up on the animosity there and immediately mirrored Sasuke's glares. 

Thankfully the two girls were too busy sulking over their failure to notice the exchange between the two—Ino always hated the feeling she got in her gut when they glared at the pink haired girl. Thankfully they both knew better than to ever say untying bad about Sakura, at least in front of Ino. If they ever did...she wasn't sure what she would do.

“Alright, good job everyone, we’ll continue practicing with breaking genjutsu next week—” Iruka said with a clap of his hands, only to be interrupted by Mizuki.

“Thank you Iruka, I’ll take it from here, you can head on in.” Mizuki drawled from the front of the training yard, half heartedly yawning in the face of Iruka’s glare. In the end the more mild mannered teacher let it go with a sigh and a shake of his head, leaving the class alone with the taijutsu teacher.

“That’s enough genjutsu practice—for those of you who got it, good job. The rest of you…practice harder.” Mizuki said, and Ino scowled. What kind of advice was that?

“Now—time for taijutsu—sparring practice first today, please team up with the person behind you.”

Ino looked behind her, smiling at Ami. How they teamed up for spars was always different, and Ino was glad for once she’d gotten lucky enough to get a girl. The boys were always so rough, she found she never left the practice ring without falling in the dirt at least once, and who wanted to get all sweaty and dirty in the middle of the day anyways? 

When Ino looked over at Sakura to see who her sparring partner would be, her eyes widened with realization. Uchiha Sasuke was directly behind Sakura, staring her down with a piercing look. Sakura herself looked uncomfortable beneath his intense gaze, and perhaps a bit nervous.

As they made their way over the practice ring Ino convinced herself that Sakura would surely get a different partner. Mizuki was certainly a lackadaisical teacher, but he wasn’t _cruel_. Her peers may not know of the connection between Sakura and Sasuke like Ino did, but Mizuki must know. He was the _teacher_ after all, and he would obviously realize it was not a good idea to match the two up considering their history and—

“First match—Uchiha Sasuke versus Sakura.” Mizuki called out, and Ino’s thoughts slammed to a halt.

Beside her Ami and Sen called out encouragement to Sasuke, cheering him on as he stepped into the ring. Ino’s throat was too dry to make a sound. Not once had Sakura and Sasuke ever been in the practice ring together...and Ino didn't know how to respond.

In a different situation, a different world…she wouldn’t have hesitated to cheer for Sasuke, and Sakura of course would’ve understood, knowing of her crush, maybe even joined her. But…this wasn’t that world, and right now Ino couldn’t find it in herself to cheer for either of them, even if Ami and Sen gave her a strange look for abstaining.

“And—start!”

Sasuke moved lightning quick, stance perfect enough to sigh over. Within moments he had Sakura on the defensive, pushing her around the ring with well aimed jabs. Sakura moved quickly to avoid him, not even attempting to go on the offensive.

Her tactic wasn’t the best, as her dance of avoidance eventually gave Sasuke the opening he needed to brutally put her on her back. All it took was a slide of his foot behind her ankle and a well aimed punch to her shoulder and she was thrown off balance. Ino held her breath as Sakura slammed into the ground of the training ring, breath obviously knocked out of her. Ami and Sen and several of the other girls cheered around her.

Sasuke scoffed, looking down at Sakura even as she gasped for breath. “Like I thought…a civilian like you would never stand a chance…”

The words were said low and to himself, as if in reference to some previous conversation. Ino missed the context, but the gist of the insult could be understood by all regardless...and Ino—Ino suddenly knew how she felt. She was furious. No matter how cool Sasuke was…no one insulted her friends, no one insulted _Sakura_.

When she looked over at Mizuki Ino’s fury only intensified. Why wasn’t he calling the match? It was obviously over!

Despite the teacher not calling the end of the match, Sasuke seemed to assume it was over as he turned his back on the pink haired girl on the ground. He went to make his way out of the ring—but he didn’t make it.

Gasps broke out among the students circling the training ring as Sasuke—top shinobi of their class—found his legs suddenly buckling beneath him.

The attack to the back of his knees by the pink haired girl obviously took him completely by surprise—but Sasuke wasn’t known as the best in their class for nothing, and he _had_ been raised by one of the most combat proficient clans in Konoha. He adjusted quickly, hand hitting the ground first as he used his momentum to spin himself into a kick.

The kick went wide as Sakura jumped back, but now Sasuke was fighting seriously. Ino had never seen him so obviously flustered, his usually porcelain face beet red, and with only two quick moves he had Sakura on the defensive once again.

What happened next would forever cement Sasuke on Ino’s shit list. Never again would she look at the boy and blush at his coolness and his skill. Never again would she daydream about having lunch or being on the same team with him.

No, from now on...she would forever wonder why she had ever liked him in the first place.

As Sakura stepped back once more, trying to stay in the middle of the ring, Sasuke advanced. Ino was surprised and impressed by how quick Sakura had gotten—likely from trying to keep up with Naruto—and as flustered as he was, Sasuke was getting sloppy. For a moment, Ino almost thought Sakura had a chance, if only she could find an opening—

But then, obviously frustrated with her evasiveness, Sasuke reached out and grabbed at Sakura’s clothes, forcibly pulling her close in order to give her one hard kick to expel her from the ring. In that quick movement, his hand had grabbed both Sakura’s shirt and her scarf…and as she fell out of the ring, her shirt broke loose from his grip...but her scarf didn’t.

Sasuke inadvertently pulled the garment from her neck as she fell backwards, baring it for all to see.

Ino couldn’t help how her eyes immediately went to the large, raised scar that bisected her pale neck. It was rippled and discolored, looking like some grotesque second mouth that stretched from one side of her neck to the other. Sakura sat frozen at the edge of the ring for a moment, eyes wide and body frozen. It was only a moment before she raised her hands up to cover the scar, but it was a moment too long: everyone had already seen.

Distantly she heard Mizuki finally, _finally,_ call the match. His voice was almost cruel in it's flatness, his disinterest in the proceedings obvious. Ino felt her blood boil, but before she could do anything foolish, someone else beat her to it.

“You—bastard! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Sasuke just barely avoided a hard swing from the orange blur that flew at him, dropping the scarf still in his grip. They both tumbled into the dirt together as Naruto leapt at him again, and for once…Ino actually applauded Naruto’s actions. She almost wished she'd done it first.

As they tussled and Mizuki leapt to get between them, Ino quickly darted forward and grabbed the scarf Sasuke had dropped. Dusting it off, she swiftly pulled it around Sakura’s neck, pulling her shaking hands out of the way as she did so.

“Hey! Hey that’s enough you two! Naruto, get off him immediately!” Mizuki shouted, sounding utterly annoyed at having to actually do his job as a teacher.  He quickly pulled the two off of each other, and began pulling them towards the class room. “Both of you—inside! Iruka! Get out here and deal with these two will you?”

“You okay?” Ino asked quietly, uncertain of her welcome. Sakura looked up, that disturbingly blank expression on her face—it was disappointing to see that expression reappear, as Ino had seen less and less of lately. Ino didn’t ask again, instead pulling her aside to sit down in the shade of the tree line.

She glared at Mizuki when he returned alone from dragging Naruto and Sasuke into the classroom. The teacher looked about ready to call she and Sakura back over but, surprisingly, he only rolled his eyes and ignored them, even when Shikamaru and Chouji came over to join them.

Ino held Sakura’s hand for the rest of taijutsu practice, Chouji pushed his chips on her—something Ino knew was the greatest gift he could think to give—and Shikamaru subtly positioned himself in a way that perfectly blocked Sakura from the other student’s glances. Ino had never loved her two friends more than she did then...it made all their annoying moments worth it.

By the end of the last sparing match, Sakura’s hand was no longer limp in her own and the blankness had receded. When they went to go inside, practice finally over, Ino felt a swell of relief at the small grateful smile Sakura gave her.

But alongside that, she felt something else: shame.

The boy she’d so idolized for being cool, the group of girls she’d thought were so important…had it all just been an illusion? An illusion of perfection, an illusion of friendship…if Ino were in Sakura’s place, would Ami and Sen still whisper about how weird she was behind her back?

With sudden clarity…Ino knew the answer would be yes.

But Sakura…Sakura would never do that, just as Ino wouldn’t, just as she was sure neither Shikamaru or Chouji wouldn't. Sakura, Shikamaru, Chouji...they were real friends…and so was Naruto. Naruto who had stood up to Sasuke without even a seconds thought, who’d stood by Sakura and glared at all the people who’d whispered behind her back…even if they _were_ whispering because she was with him.

How had she not seen it before? All this _stupid_ obsession with popularity and being cool…all it did was get people hurt, didn’t it? It was as if Ino was finally realizing what Sakura had long ago—the sun hadn’t moved, but time had ticked on anyways, just waiting for her to break herself from her own self imposed illusion.

Her father’s words echoed in her mind, the same ones she’d so easily brushed off when he’d first said them.

_“You should make your own decisions on people, based on facts and experiences, rather than just disliking them because someone else tells you to. Understand?”_

With a place towards the academy window, Ino frowned at the sight of a furious Naruto beside the surly boy she'd held a crush on for so long. 

Ino…had a lot to think about.

 

—

 

“What on earth were you two thinking?” Iruka said sternly to the two boys in front of him, hands on his hips. “Fighting outside the ring is strictly prohibited! You should never fight with your fellow Konoha comrades outside of training!”

“I mean, we _were_ in the ring though.” Naruto said with a pout.

“Naruto…” Iruka sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Don’t get smart with me, you know it’s not the same. What. Happened.”

Naruto turned his glare on the boy beside him, but Sasuke kept his gaze in the opposite direction as if entirely uninterested in the conversation. It only seemed to infuriate Naruto further.

“He embarrassed Sakura-chan! He pulled her scarf off, the bastard—!” Naruto finally exploded.

“ _Language_.” Iruka scolded, turning his gaze to Sasuke thoughtfully.

The teacher gave a sigh, unsure how to handle scolding the boy for fighting with Naruto. It’d been eight months sure…but really that wasn’t much time to get over the slaughter of your entire family was it?

Still…misbehavior was misbehavior. Fighting outside training was not allowed.

“Is that true Sasuke?” Iruka asked gently, and Sasuke continued to look off out the window with a broody look.

“Sasuke?” Iruka said a bit sterner. “Did you pull Sakura’s scarf off?”

Finally, Sasuke pursed his lips and glanced over at Iruka quickly. He was the very image of a boy who knew he'd done something wrong, but didn't want to admit it.

“…it was an accident.” Sasuke murmured. “This idiot's just overreacting.”

“Over—!”

“Naruto, sit down.” Iruka said calmly, placing his palm on the mop of blond hair and pushing him back into his seat.

“Sasuke…whether an accident or not, you should apologize to Sakura—she’s very sensitive about her...scarf. And Naruto—there’s no excuse for fighting your comrades outside training, am I understood?”

Under Iruka’s baleful glare, the one which he’d spent countless day’s and hours perfecting on misbehaving children, both boys shrunk in their seats. It apparently didn’t stop Sasuke from disagreeing, however.

“Tch, whatever...it was an accident, why _should_ I apologize.” Sasuke muttered under his breath, causing Naruto to glare at him.

“You should apologize because it was _your_ fault!” Naruto said. “You call me stupid, but even _I_ know that. So who’s the _real_ stupid one?”

Quick as a whip Sasuke turned to glare back at Naruto, their gazes meeting with spark like intensity.

“ _I’m_ stupid? You’re the one who can’t even keep a leaf to their forehead, _dead last_.”

With a bang, Iruka slammed his hand on the table between the two boys, causing both of them to leap half out of their seats.

“That’s enough!” He shouted, honestly peeved now. “Sasuke, Naruto—detention, both of you. You'll be coming in tomorrow morning to clean, _together._ Maybe that will teach you two to get along with your fellow Konoha shinobi—and no complaints!”

“Wha—but Iruka-sensei tomorrow’s Saturday!”

Iruka put his hands on his hips, “And?”

“And…it’s a weekend? As in…a day off?” Naruto said hopefully.

“Even better—all the more time to clean then.” Iruka said with a twitching smile. “And if either of you don’t show up…I’ll have you staying after class to clean everyday for a _week._ Got it?”

Naruto promptly banged his head down on the desk in front of him with a groan, and Sasuke gave a particularly annoyed huff.

Iruka figured that was as close to a ‘yes’ as he would get.

 

—

 

By the end of the day Sakura almost felt back to normal. Or at least as normal as she was that morning. It’d been a generally crappy day.

Naruto sat closer to her than usual the rest of the day, and continued to draw more and more outlandish things on her paper, including several of Sasuke with a duck on his head. She couldn’t help but smile at those, although she’d rather not think about Sasuke at all if she could. She thought she’d rather just forget the incident altogether, lest it bring back the rage and embarrassment of the moment.

She couldn’t believe she’d ever been tempted to pull him into having lunch with her and Naruto…

She’d seen him over the past eight months, becoming more and more reclusive. She’d watched him take his bento and disappear everyday up a tree to eat alone, and had felt a bit of…pity, for lack of a better word. She could remember how awful it was to eat alone, surrounded by peers who all had their own groups and friends to eat with. She’d thought about how he must feel like she had when she’d first arrived at the orphanage, and how he lived all alone…his family gone.

She understood that feeling better than anyone. 

Even as upset as she was over the incident in the training yard...even as furious as those words he'd said to her had made her...she still understood him. She certainly didn't _agree_ with him in any shape or form but, she could understand why he was the way he was. Really, the only difference between them was that Sakura hadn't isolated herself after everything had happened. She'd reached out, she'd opened up to Naruto, to Tenten, and had been sure not to close any doors with Ino—although that door wasn't entirely _open_ either.

The point was Sakura couldn't hate him too much...she was sure she'd be a miserable person too if she'd isolated herself as much as Sasuke had...

Plus, the scarf grabbing  _had_ been an accident, that was clear…although it didn’t change the fact that Sasuke was still a jerk who obviously looked down on her and the rest of their peers.

The apology had helped her forgive him a bit too…even if Iruka had obviously forced him into doing it. Naruto had been forced to apologize as well, to Sasuke though, for attacking. Embarrassingly enough the apologies had taken place front and center in front of the whole class...and Sakura was 80% certain Naruto hadn't meant a single word of it from he way he'd glared at Sasuke the whole time. Sasuke's apology to her on the other hand had felt at least somewhat sincere, if a bit pointed.

Every time Naruto and Sasuke made eye contact from then on, they seemed to be glaring so strongly at one another you could practically see the lightning shooting between them. All in all, Sakura was supremely grateful when the day drew to a close. She hadn't even enjoyed Standard class, which was usually her favorite class of the day.

“Good-bye everyone! I look forward to seeing you next week, for another invigorating day at the academy!”

Sakura laughed as Lee actually _bowed_ as he left, headed home to his grandmothers. Beside her Tenten giggled.

“He’s so formal…kinda reminds me of how you bowed to us all that first time we met.” Tenten said, nudging Sakura’s shoulder.

‘Yeah but…I was never _that_ formal.’ Sakura snorted with a roll of her eyes.

That had been one pleasant surprise of the day—apparently Rock Lee had been inspired to come along and learn Standard with them after talking with Tenten about their mutual acquaintance with Naruto and Sakura.

Sakura was glad to see him, just as much as she’d been when Tenten had decided to start coming to the classes all those months ago after she’d helped them sneak in post curfew. She was always happy to have another person who could actually _understand_ her besides the teachers and, although Lee was quite behind the rest of them, she was sure with his work ethic he'd catch up quick.

“Well…I’m headed back early, it's my turn to help Nakamura-san with cooking...” Tenten pouted with a sigh. “I’ll see you two at dinner?”

"Yeah!" Naruto said with a wave, which Sakura mirrored beside him. "Save us the usual stuff?"

"Of course!" Tenten said with a laugh and a wave as she left. She'd taken to hoarding away bits and pieces of dinner for them after realizing Nakamura was skimping on Naruto's, and eventually Sakura's, meals. She'd really pulled through as a friend in the past months...and, as the oldest in their house, she was the perfect friend to have at the orphanage. Tenten, out of everyone, could get away with more than most.

With Tenten gone, it was just Sakura and Naruto outside the academy. She wasn’t sure where Ino had gone, as she'd just been in class minutes before. It was strange...Sakura could have sworn every time she looked over at Ino she’d been staring at her and Naruto with a pensive look on her face. and then, right when Standard class ended, she’d just bolted.

Shikamaru and Chouji had even come today—something they’d begun doing at Ino’s insistence, although not every day as they had clan training—and had agreed Ino had been acting strangely all day. They’d both had been equally confused when Ino had left in such a hurry, but had waved off Sakura’s concerns.

She supposed Ino must just have a lot on her mind...

“By the way, Sakura-chan…happy birthday.” Naruto said suddenly. Sakura stared at him in confusion.

'But...my birthday's tomorrow.'

“I know but, uh, I got you a present?” Naruto said, shifting from foot to foot. “It’s not as expensive as that frog book you got me but…”

From the pocket of his shorts Naruto pulled out a long stretch of fabric, thrusting it into her hands.

A slow smile spread across her face. It was a scarf…a light one, but still thick enough to not be see through. Unfortunately, it was orange…it would clash terribly with her hair, Sakura knew, but she didn’t care—she’d wear it anyways. It certainly wouldn’t gain Naruto any points with Ino though, as she was sure to blame Naruto for the fashion disaster.

“I was gonna give it to you tomorrow on your real birthday but…since your scarf got all dirty I figured I’d give it to you today, y’know…”

‘Thank you, Naruto. It’s perfect.’ Sakura signed emphatically. She immediately wanted to switch it out for the dirty one around her neck, but the thought of baring it twice in one day made her skin crawl.

Naruto shrugged, scratching the back of his head with a blush. Then, something seemed to occur to him, and he immediately looked distraught.

“The park!” He said suddenly, and Sakura’s brows rose. “Ugh…I forgot—we were gonna go tomorrow…but now…dammit!”

Sakura felt her shoulders slump a bit. They had indeed agreed to go to Ueno park together tomorrow. Part of the reason she’d asked Hinata to tell Himeko to meet her there was because both she and Naruto would be there, so Himeko could hopefully take a look at his chakra coils right then and there—not that Naruto knew anything about that.

But no, the original reason, the real reason she and Naruto had planned to meet at Ueno park was to see the blooming cherry blossom trees. It was likely the last weekend they’d still be blooming—by next week there would undoubtably be more blossoms on the ground than on the branches.

She’d confessed last week to Naruto that it was something she and her parents had done every year on her birthday. Going to Ueno park to see the cherry blossoms had always been their tradition.

And she…well she’d never _not_ gone, so it felt wrong to not go but...she'd also never had to go _alone_. She was sure if she did she’d just spend the whole time miserable, thinking on the many times she and her parents had gone _together_.

‘So you…can’t go?’ She signed, trying to wipe the look of disappointment from her face.

“No, it’s just, ergh…Iruka-sensei is making me and that jerk Sasuke clean all the academy classrooms tomorrow morning…” Naruto scrubbed a hand up and down his face in frustration, “…and then I have to go to the hokage tower and get my usual monthly allowance from Oji-san…”

Sakura tried her best not to let it show in the slump of her shoulders how disappointed she was, but it was obvious Naruto could tell by the panic on his face.

"Ah, well, I mean, I'll just have to skip it!" He said suddenly, "It's just one detention right? It's no big deal..."

Sakura frowned, wanting to take him up on his offer but...

'What happens if you skip?' She signed with narrowed eyes.

"Well...um. Nothing really..." 

Sakura punched Naruto's shoulder at the shifty way he avoided her eye.

"Alright, alright...so I'd have detention after class for a whole week instead, but tomorrow's more important, y'know!"

Sakura heaved a great sigh, struggling to find the words to sign as a headache bloomed at the back of her eyes.

'Then we can't train after and still get back in time for curfew...No skipping Naruto, we can go Sunday.'

“But—no, you said you _always_ go on your birthday. And Saturday's your birthday, not Sunday!" Naruto shook his head, looking more bothered by the situation than Sakura herself. "We can still meet Saturday—I’ll just be a little late!”

Sakura frowned down to the ground…it was still early enough in the year that the sky darkened relatively early. She’d really wanted to see the cherry blossoms in the sun…plus she’d really hoped for him and Himeko to meet…

Suddenly Naruto’s hands gripped her shoulder, startling her into looking up to meet his eyes.

“I promise!” He said, blue eyes burning. “I’ll be there, 'attebayo! So—wait for me, okay?”

With a huff Sakura nodded. He really was impossible to turn down when he got that look in his eyes.

‘Okay…' She signed hesitantly.

'I’ll wait for you.’

 

—

 

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon to visit Ueno park. The air was cool and a bit chilly, but the sun was bright in the sky without any clouds to dampen it’s warmth. It was the perfect day to be sitting on a bench watching the cherry blossoms fall slowly from their branches to blanket the dark soil.

Which is exactly what Sakura was doing. Sitting, watching, waiting…and waiting, and waiting…

They were supposed to meet around two o’clock. That was plenty of time for Naruto to do his jail time with Iruka in the morning and then hop on over to the Hokage tower to pick up his allowance.

That was plenty of time…so why wasn’t Naruto here yet?

Sakura twiddled with her new orange scarf and shivered a bit. She should’ve kept the heavier one on—it wasn’t warm enough yet for it to be uncomfortable—but she’d been eager to wear the one Naruto had given her. 

She looked around again, up and down the path, up and down, again and again. But there was no sign of Naruto. She tried to look past all the couples walking hand in hand, past all the happy families swinging their kids up on their shoulders, and appreciate the beauty of the trees and their blossoms.

They were so pretty, the sakura blossoms…pink, just like her hair…she really was aptly named. Her eyes landed on a tall man with a red hat on, smiling at his daughter as she tried to climb one of the trees.

_“I realize now how foolish I was to name you as such. I’d forgotten...cherry blossoms always bloom again, and again, and again…a continuous cycle of life and death and rebirth.”_

Sakura flinched at the memory, looking away from the man and wringing her hands in anxiety. She turned her mothers ring around and around her finger, pushing the dream away. She really hated it…that strange dream she’d had. How long would it continue to haunt her?

Sakura spun the ring around and around, as the blossoms continued to fall, faster and faster and faster…

She shook herself out of her daze and forced herself to stop twirling the ring, heart beating strangely fast with anxiety. As she looked around to distract herself she realized there weren’t many people left in the area she was sitting. She decided to do something productive with her time while she waited and practice.

Sakura tried not to acknowledge the fact that she only wanted to practice in order to keep herself from dwelling on Naruto's absence.

With a sigh Sakura’s hands came together to form a seal completely different than the ones she used everyday in class. This was something above her grade level, something Iruka hadn't touched on yet but in a way was still in line with what they were learning. Iruka had them learning how to detect illusions and break out of them, and clone jutsu was just that—an illusion. 

She’d often seen her peers shouting out names of pretend jutsu while playing or training, and she frowned a bit at the thought that she’d never be able to do so herself.She consolidated herself with the thought that at least she’d be stealthier that way, right? Shinobi were supposed to be stealthy…and she was pretty sure that shouting out names of your jutsu was not stealthy…maybe it was a concentration thing?

With a burst of chakra Sakura opened her eyes and looked beside her to find a sickly see-through version of herself slumped on the ground.

It quickly poofed out of existence and Sakura scowled. She’d just have to practice this more—practice it until she got it right, until it was perfect and no one could look at her and sneer and say she couldn't do it just because—

_“Like I thought…a civilian like you would never stand a chance…”_

With a flinch Sakura tugged Naruto’s scarf tighter around her neck, and then smashed her hands together again, fury and focus replacing her earlier anxiety.

She’d get this right, she would. She would get it perfect and then when the teacher finally brought it up in class she’d look Sasuke right in his stupid face and do it perfectly on the first try!

 

—

 

When Sakura looked up hours later—her slightly healthier clone version of herself poofing out of existence for what seemed the 100th time—she realized the sky was dark.She hadn’t noticed how much time had passed…

...and Naruto still wasn’t here. Now Sakura began to feel panic forming in the base of her throat. She’d waited and waited and waited…he’d never break a promise like this—especially not for something he knew was this important to her.

What if something had happened to him? What if, on his way out of the hokage’s tower some miscreant had hurt him? She’d seen for herself the animosity that the other villagers showed Naruto…what if…what if…

With a shake of her head Sakura stopped the train of thought. No. She was sure Naruto was fine…she was being ridiculous.

Maybe he’d just…forgotten? No, no that wasn’t like him…maybe, the hokage had kept him for so long he’d figured she’d left and gone home already? That seemed more likely…Sakura should go back to the orphanage and check for him. She was sure he’d be there, an explanation and an apology on his lips.

Sakura stood and began walking down the dark trail. The park was empty now, the tree’s nearly bare after the gusty wind of the day had blown all their blossoms to the ground. Sakura could barely see the trail for all the flowers that covered it, and she stopped suddenly, beginning to pace as she double guessed her decision to leave.

What if he was still on his way? What if he showed up and she was gone and he was all alone? She’d promised him she’d wait.

“Sakura-san.” A voice called from behind her, and Sakura froze at the familiar voice. There was only one person who ever called her that.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Sakura-san…I was held up at the Hokage tower.”

Turning, Sakura gave the woman behind her a smile—although it was a little forced. In all her worry for Naruto she’d forgotten her request to Hinata the day before...but even so, she was glad to see Himeko.

‘It’s okay…thank you for coming.’

“Your Standard is coming along nicely, it’s quite improved since last time we met.” Himeko observed, watching her hand movements, and Sakura blushed at the praise. She noticed the woman's eyes hovered over her scarf and she felt a bit embarrassed at having not worn the one she'd given her.

“As nice as it is to see you again Sakura-san…why did you call me here?”

‘I wanted to ask you for a favor.’ Sakura signed, the words coming slowly to her. She paused to think on how she would phrase her request.

“A favor? Ah…well perhaps we could exchange favors then, as I need something from you as well. Although it’s more of a request than a favor.” Himeko said with a frown. She didn’t meet Sakura’s curious eyes when she continued.

“Sakura-san, although I’m always glad to help you, I need you never to ask after me in such a way again.” Himeko said. “If you have need of me, please send a request to the hokage tower and a courier will ensure your message reaches me.”

‘O…kay.’ Sakura signed haltingly, a bit confused. What was wrong with asking Hinata to find her? They lived in the same place didn’t they?

“I know it may seem a strange way of doing things but…Hyuuga customs dictate that the heir not enter the branch house until they are clan head, and your request pushed Hinata-sama to break those customs—through no fault of your own of course.” Himeko said with a sigh, “Please understand Sakura-san, it’s just our way.”

Sakura nodded slowly, reeling from Himeko’s words but trying not to show it. Hinata was an heiress? How had she not known that? Did everyone in the class know that? Ino most likely did, considering she too was the heir to her clan…wait, hadn’t she heard Ino say Shikamaru and Chouji were their clan heirs too and that’s why they all had to be friends?

Just how many heirs _were_ there in her class?

“Good…” Himeko sighed wearily, throwing Sakura a smile that could only be labeled apologetic. “Now, what is this favor you wish of me?”

With a shake of her head to clear her wandering thoughts, Sakura pressed on.

‘I was hoping…that you could look at my friend.’She settled on, searching for the words. ‘Look at his chakra…tubes?’

“His chakra coils?” Himeko corrected, brows furrowing. “If something is wrong, you should tell him to go to the hospital, Sakura-san. They have a whole team full of medic-nin’s who could help him.”

Himeko’s voice was quick and stern, and Sakura…Sakura could read between the lines of her politely worded response.

She wouldn’t help her. She might as well have said ‘I’m not your personal medic.’ Which…of course she wasn’t, but she’d thought…maybe she’d help her, just for the sake of helping her.

Obviously she was wrong.

Well, this day was turning out just as terrible as yesterday wasn’t it? What a great birthday this was...

‘He can’t go to the hospital.’ Sakura signed in one last desperate effort. ‘They don’t like him there.’

Himeko frowned, “Don’t like him—they’re _medics_ that shouldn’t matter—”

‘He can’t go to the hospital.’ Sakura repeated more firmly, moderately sure that it wasn’t a lie.

After all, Naruto had always refused anytime he got hurt in training, and the one time she’d convinced him to go when he hurt his wrist sparring, he’d been turned away as ‘faking it.’ It had turned out alright in the end, as somehow Naruto’s wrist had shockingly healed within the hour, so she’d let it go but…this wasn’t like that. She couldn’t just let this go.

‘Please?’

Himeko sighed, staring at her curiously. “Who is he?”

Sakura grinned, pulling out her notebook. She wasn’t confident enough in her Standard yet to explain the situation quickly, so she wrote it all down instead and handed it over to Himeko. As she watched, Himeko’s frown only deepened.

“Sakura-san…I can’t help you. I’m sorry.” The woman said, “The boy—Naruto I mean—his issue with control isn’t to due with his chakra coils.”

‘You haven’t even—’

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help him—it isn’t his coils.”

It was said gently, but it still stung to hear her be so dismissive. Sakura could feel tears burning at the corner of her eyes, and she quickly ducked her head down. For a moment she'd been so hopeful that something good would come of this day, only for it to be dashed.

Himeko’s cold hand touched her chin, lifting it, and Sakura blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling. She couldn’t help but stare over Himeko’s shoulder rather than meet her eyes, angry at the woman for not even agreeing to take a look at Naruto before she gave a final verdict. Was she just like those medics at the hospital, refusing to help Naruto just because they didn't like him? How did she even know who he was?

“Oh Sakura…” Himeko said with a sigh, “He’ll be alright…his chakra is just growing too fast for his control to keep up, that’s all.”

The pink haired girl sniffled and finally met Himeko’s eyes warily.

‘What do you mean?’ Sakura signed as she rubbed at her wet eyes. The movement pushed Himeko’s hand from her chin, and Sakura was glad for it.

“…think of chakra like two glasses—one is empty, and one is full of water. Every time you mold chakra you take a third out of the full glass and put it in the empty one.” Himeko explained slowly.

“But what if suddenly the full glass of water became a full pitcher? If you still take a third of the water out of the pitcher, like you did with the glass, it’ll overflow when you try to put it into the same empty glass as before—and maybe knock it over entirely. _That_ is what Naruto is doing. His chakra is growing from a glass into a pitcher too fast for him to adjust, and so he keeps using too much of it.”

‘But…how will he ever get better then? What if he fails out of the academy?’ Sakura signed nervously. Silently, the unspoken question crossed her mind—what if I graduate without him?

“Well, It’s a hinderance to him now…but eventually his chakra will level out, and he’ll be able to use it much more efficiently. In the mean time…he’ll just have to practice using less chakra.” Himeko smiled at Sakura gently, and this time it wasn’t her usual polite facade. It was a real smile, one that Sakura could only remember her showing a few select times.

“It may seem like a terrible obstacle to overcome right now…but eventually it'll be a boon. And in the mean time, I’m sure he'll do just fine with you by his side.”

Blushing, Sakura looked down again, tugging on the scarf around her neck with a frown.

“You look like you doubt me.” Himeko said with narrowed eyes, “Why? Look at how far you’ve come since you left the hospital—you’re practically fluent already in Standard, that must have taken a lot of practice. And you’ve certainly cheered up a bit now that you’ve found a friend, haven’t you? It seems like you've overcome your own obstacles just fine, so I'm sure you can help Naruto overcome his.”

Sakura supposed when she put it that way…she really had come a long ways in the last eight months since she’d left the hospital hadn’t she? Although the Standard was less practice and more how much of a slave driver Yamato was as a sensei…

“You’ll be fine, both of you.” Himeko said, tapping Sakura’s chin with a fond look, surprising her with her familiarity.

Sakura nodded once she realized Himiko was looking at her expectantly, although she wasn’t sure how much she really believed the medic. Still, it was good enough to convince Himeko, as she looked satisfied as she pulled away from Sakura.

It was only a few feet worth of distance, but the way her whole demeanor changed…made it seem like miles.

Himeko frowned, looking up at the dark sky. “It’s getting late, why don’t I walk you home?”

Sakura froze, hesitant. ‘I can’t. I’m…waiting. Naruto said he’d be here…for my birthday.’

“Oh…” Himeko looked uncomfortable for a moment, even shifting a bit from foot to foot. “I hadn’t realized that—well…Sakura-san, unfortunately, Naruto won’t be coming to meet you tonight. I suppose someone should have been sent to tell you…”

Hear in her throat, Sakura forced herself to look up and meet Himeko’s pearly white gaze head on.

‘Tell me what?’

Even as her hands moved without her conscious thought to ask the question, Sakura already had a thousand answers running through her mind. None of them were good.

“Naruto…he’s with the hokage for the night. There was an…incident. It's partly why I was held up at the Hokage Tower. Hokage-sama is in the process of setting him up with his own apartment as we speak, so it’s unlikely that Naruto will be getting away from that any time soon…I’m sorry Sakura-san.”

 

—

 

That night Sakura lay awake on her futon, staring up at the ceiling and wishing she’d never come back to the orphanage. She should have just stayed there, beneath the cherry blossom trees—perhaps there she would have had more luck staying asleep.

It was too quiet here in the orphanage without Naruto’s loud snores to fill the silence, and it was that quiet that had woken her—and this was after it had taken her hours to get to sleep in the first place. Only the quiet snuffles of Tenten beside her could be heard, and it was grating on Sakura’s nerves.

An incident…what could have happened? The hokage himself had stepped in…it must have been serious. And to hear that Naruto was getting his own apartment because of it…that he was leaving the orphanage and not coming back...

Sakura’s throat closed up at the thought that she’d be left here at the orphanage without him. She’d still have Tenten of course but…it wasn’t the same. Tenten was older than her, and often hung out with friends from her own class, and of course she had her own responsibilities within the orphanage as the oldest in their house.

Often it was her duty to help Nakamura and to enforce the rules within the house, and to do so meant she couldn’t look like she was too friendly with Sakura—even though she was—since Sakura was now officially on Nakamura’s bad side since the frog incident. If Nakamura knew that Tenten let her and Naruto in after curfew she was sure that he’d put Daisuke in charge instead. Sakura shuddered—she’d take being given the cold shoulder by Tenten over having to listen to Daisuke’s orders any day.

Still…what it meant was that without Naruto, Sakura was essentially alone within the house, and it’d stay that way until she graduated from the academy.

With a quiet sniffle Sakura blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling from her tired and itchy eyes. She’d been on the verge of crying for what seemed like forever, but even now she didn’t want them to fall. She was worried if she started she wouldn’t be able to stop but…it seemed she didn’t have a choice this time. Her eyes wouldn’t dry, her throat wouldn’t stop clenching, her chest wouldn’t loosen.

This had been the worst birthday that Sakura had ever had, on top of being the first one without any family to speak of.

Quickly she looked around, noticing that one of the futons was empty—Daisuke’s to be specific. With a scowl Sakura rubbed her eyes and took a deep shuddering breath to hold in the cloying emotions. Daisuke must have gotten up to go to the bathroom—she’d have to wait for him to get back to go herself.

She just needed some time to herself, alone in the bathroom…then she could let go. She’d never be able to get over the embarrassment if she broke down crying now and woke up all the other kids at the orphanage.

Minutes passed, feeling like hours, and still Daisuke didn’t return to his futon. Suddenly Sakura couldn’t take it anymore—she hated the thought of running into Daisuke in the hall, but it was nowhere near as bad as the thought of crying in front of an audience.

Carefully, Sakura pushed herself up and navigated around all the sleeping kids, breathing already hitching unevenly. She nearly ran out into the hall and into the blessedly open bathroom, only just closing the door before she could no longer hold it in.

It came out like a waterfall, like a dam breaking through a causeway. It was a task to even breath through the sobbing, and Sakura couldn’t stop.

She hadn’t cried since that first day awake in the hospital, after which she'd forced her emotions to flow through her fingers like water. She’d thought that had been coping but…all those emotions had only flowed farther down stream, building up and blocking everything else like a dam. The water had risen too high now, and the dam couldn't hold out forever.

Now it had broken, flooding her, and Sakura had never felt so horrible.

She shoved her face into the crook of her elbow to dampen the sounds, but it only made her cry harder. She always wore her mothers sweater to bed, the only piece of her mothers clothing she’d taken from her old house…and with her face pressed into it she could no longer pretend it smelt of anything but soap and Sakura’s own scent.

She wasn’t even sure she could remember what her mother smelt like…would there be a day when she’d forget what she looked sounded like too?

Finally, the cries drifted off into hiccuping and sniffling. Her stomach hurt from the heaving of her sobs, her face a disgusting mess of snot and tears. In the aftermath of her release, a gaping emptiness was left over and the pink haired girl found herself sitting and staring off into space with a completely empty mind.

It felt as peaceful as it did awful.

A random hiccup broke the silence of the bathroom stall, an a curl of amusement bloomed in her stomach as she thought of how ridiculous she must look, sitting on the toilet staring off into space, face all snotty and wet, feet bare and hair a mess.

Her thoughts slowly drifted back into her head, and she had to blink bath tears again as she thought back on the last two days.

She’d never felt more motivated to graduate as soon as possible. Not only to get out of the lonely strict orphanage, but also…she could just imagine the look on Sasuke’s face if she graduated before him—that would truly be the sweetest revenge. She was sure he'd look just as shocked as she must have looked the other day, sitting in the dirt with her neck bared and heart in her throat.

With a forced scoff of amusement, Sakura wiped her face and stood, her eyes wonderfully dry once more. She felt as light as a feather at the same time as she felt exhaustion heavily weigh her limbs down. She quietly trudged out of the bathroom back towards the main room, her futon foremost in her sleepy and dazed mind.

It was only once she stood on the precipice into the room that she noticed it—

Daisuke’s futon was still empty. 

Suddenly she was very much awake, and with narrowed eyes she slowly closed the door, staying in the hallway rather than entering the main room. She’d assumed Daisuke had been in the bathroom earlier…but he hadn’t been had he?

Was he stealing snacks from the kitchen? That was most assuredly against Nakamura’s rules…

With a little smirk, Sakura padded down the hallway towards the kitchen, intent on getting herself some sweet sweet blackmail. It was the perfect pick me up after the past two days awfulness. Maybe if she had something on him she could stop him from being such a bully…

Although it was strange that no one had noticed him sneak out, especially considering how quiet it was. Daisuke must be better at sneaking around than Sakura had thought…even she'd wondered how no one had heard her crying and come to investigate. The walls were thin and every sound carried—

Outside the kitchen Sakura hesitated, arm outstretched towards the door but not yet touching it. Before her very eyes the hairs along her forearm stood up.

It _was_ rather quiet wasn’t it? So quiet…it felt unnatural. She had brushed the strange silence away as just the absence of Naruto’s snores bother her but…but here, outside the kitchen door, it shouldn’t be so quiet.

The pond was just behind the orphanage—Sakura knew that better than anyone but Naruto—and the kitchens location at the back of the building meant it was right next to that pond. Often when she and Naruto left this way they would hear the sounds of the pond life in the early morning—or the dead of night when they themselves snuck snacks.

But now…there was nothing. No mating calls from the spring Peeper frogs she and Naruto had giggled over, no splash of a fish breaking the surface, not even the sound of the wind banging against the door. Nothing.

Her ears ringing with the sheer loudness of the silence, Sakura almost took a step back.

She’d intended on going to get some blackmail, but now…she felt an urgent compelling sensation to return to her futon and forget ever standing in front of the kitchen door. She only just resisted the feeling. 

Something was wrong.

Shakily, she raised her hands up to form the seal Iruka had drilled into them in their recent lessons, and then...

...then she disrupted the flow of her chakra, half hoping it would do nothing.

Unfortunately, her hopes were dashed at the sudden influx of sound that bombarded Sakura's ears. So intent was she on hearing something, anything, that the sudden noise was disorienting, and Sakura slammed her hand over her ears in shock. She hadn’t actually thought it would do anything...she’d only been half convinced it wasn’t just her imagination playing tricks on her.

Then it dawned on her just what she was hearing. The hiss of a jutsu name, the muffled scuffing of feet and bodies, the ring of steel against steel.

…those were the sounds of fighting. Breathing picking up, Sakura put her hand on the door, her mind still trying to convince her that she had heard wrong. And then—without even thinking anything beyond 'someone need's help'—she slid the door open. 

There in front of her were two men, both turned to look at her mid fight, and both in masks of bone white and red.

Her mind shuttered to a stop, her body freezing. All she could see in front of her was a different man and a different mask, one with a lilting mad voice. Her neck burned with the phantom feel of metal slicing through skin, and she trembled with the need to move her frozen body.

Quick as lightning, something whizzed towards her, shocking her into motion with the sudden burst of adrenaline. It was all she needed to wake up and slam the door shut, but Sakura wasn’t quick enough to back away.

Another metal object cut through the washi paper of the door, slicing open her hand in the process. Sakura cried out in shock, holding her sliced hand close to her chest as she stumbled back.

A sudden urgency overcame her as she realized how stupid she’d been to open that door. She hadn’t thought…she hadn’t thought what she was hearing was what she’d thought it was, she'd just thought someone was in trouble and—

She turned to make a run for it down the hallway, but she didn't make it far. Suddenly she was face to face with one of the men in masks—one whose markings and even hair style vaguely resembled a rooster. She wheezed as she tried to stop her forward motion, only just succeeding in changing her direction to slam into the wall instead of the man.

How had he gotten there so quickly? She’d even closed the door to slow him down!

A kunai sliced through the air—this time from behind her—one not aimed at her, but at the man she’d just narrowly avoided crashing into. When she pulled away from the wall, leaving a bloody handprint behind, she found the second man standing protectively in front of her—placing himself between she and and man with the rooster like mask. They quickly engaged one another in a barrage of attacks, moving so quickly her eye couldn’t follow.

She wasn’t sure what was going on…but she needed to get out of there while they were distracted with one another, _now._

Taking her chance, Sakura barreled her way into the kitchen, the only route available for her now that the two men behind her were bottlenecking the hallway. She b-lined for the door that led out of the orphanage but slammed to a halt at what she nearly stepped on once she reached it.

It was a body, she realized with horror. A body she recognized—Daisuke.

Choking past her panic, she reached down and rolled the boy over, hands shaking. She watched with bated breath for any sign of his chest moving, and nearly sobbed when it rose and fell. Just unconscious, she realized with relief.

Swiftly she grabbed his arm and hefted him up with all her strength over her shoulder—only to immediately collapse under his weight, the cold flagstones of the kitchen hard beneath her knees. She pounded the floor in frustration.

Why was she so _weak?_

Still shaking, Sakura grabbed at Daisukes arms, pulling him until he lay across her lap and slapping at his face. He needed to wake up, she couldn’t carry him and they needed to get out of the orphanage and find _help._

Jumping at a sudden bang that was closer than before, Sakura settled on dragging Daisuke as far as she could so they were behind a cupboard and hidden from the two shinobi that had just crashed into the kitchen. She held him up against her chest to keep them both as small as possible to stay hidden. Her breath was loud and raspy in the strange quiet of the moment, before it suddenly exploded with the sound of clashing metal and jutsu.

Pans crashed from walls, unnatural wind whipped dangerously around the room, and with all the noise Sakura couldn't tell where they were within the room. She carefully peeked around the corner of the cupboard, gripping Daisuke to her painfully tight.

What she saw had her heart sink. They were near the door, engaged in hand to hand battle. Their movements were so incredibly fast, if she blinked she'd miss them, and yet she found she couldn't look away. She'd never seen a real shinobi fight before, only the training spars between Iruka and Mizuki to show them new moves. These shinobi...they were on an entirely different level.

It was only when Sakura saw  _trees_ of all things grow from the ground to try and capture the rooster masked man that she realized she'd been holding her breath and she suddenly couldn't help but gasp for air.

Immediately she face forward again, hoping her gasp hadn't been as loud as it'd sounded. She realized as she shivered in fear that her teeth were near chattering. She could feel the beat of her heart in her throat, and her hand was still sluggishly bleeding and smearing red everywhere it touched. Daisuke slept on, unnaturally still, but chest still moving.

She needed to do something—and quick. She needed to find a way to get them out…or at the least get herself out.

She felt guilty at the thought of leaving Daisuke. As much as she didn’t like him, they were both Konoha shinobi when all was said and done. Or at least they would be—comrades that is. And Konoha shinobi didn’t leave comrades behind, right?

But this one time she…really didn’t have a choice. She was just too weak to protect both of them and…and as selfish as it was, Sakura didn’t want to die.

Her mothers face flashed suddenly bright in her mind, her bloody battered face hovering over her with a look of desperation and pain. Sakura could still feel the numbing pain of her throat, and the bitter fear it brought to her tongue. Sakura had to swallow thickly past the memory and force herself to focus on the present. 

An idea formed in her head, a foolish one, but it was something. The shinobi were between her and the door, so she needed something to distract them from noticing her as she dragged Daisuke out. She may not have it perfected but…she could just barely make a clone—and even if it was a sickly see through one, it might be enough to give her time to sprint for the door. Plus, the one shinobi seemed to maybe be on her side...so he might protect her. Possibly. Hopefully.

Mind made up, Sakura looked down at Daisuke, his limp form heavy against her, and gave him a silent apology. Sweat ran down her face, and she could nearly smell her fear in the air. She wiped it away, the saltiness stinging the cut on her hand as she formed the seals sloppily for bunshin no jutsu.

Her mind raced, she couldn’t focus. The sounds of battle behind her made her flinch and shake. All she could think of was getting away, getting out, being somewhere entirely different than this horrible place and situation…

Sakura molded her chakra, blood sticky around her fingers and smearing her mothers ring red. She clenched her eyes shut and prayed the jutsu would work. She couldn't focus, her mind stuck on repeat, but she had to try.

_Somewhere else, somewhere else, somewhere else…_

 

—

 

…when Sakura opened her eyes…there was no clone in front of her, not even a sickly one.

In fact…there was nothing in front of her. Nothing, because what her eyes were seeing couldn’t possibly be real.

The kitchen was gone. The peeping of the frogs out by the pond, sounds of fighting, the two shinobi, all of it...

Everything familiar was gone—the only thing that wasn't was Daisuke, still held tightly to her chest with her bloody hands in front of him.

When she stumbled up, laying Daisuke on the ground before her, she looked around shakily. She was at once glad she seemed to be out of dangers way, and terrified that she was stuck in some new strange illusion. For it had to be an illusion...this place...she'd never seen anything like it.

The world was painted unnaturally in shades of intense, vivid, green and blue. Their was moss beneath her bare feet, a moss that seemed to move on it’s own like it was breathing. It made her wish she was wearing shoes—a thought that was as sudden as it was ridiculous.

All around her there were trees of impossible height, all blanketed by the living moss, with leaves like moving tendrils of hair. Where once there was walls of wood and washi paper there was now only forrest and…Sakura came to a sudden stop at what she saw in the distance.

There, in the distance, there was finally something familiar. The pond. 

Sakura contemplated getting a closer look, but she didn't want to leave Daisuke and...upon closer inspection she realized that the pond wasn't as familiar as she'd thought. The dock was gone, the bench was missing, and...

...and hovering by the waters edge…there were… _things._

She didn’t know what they were…but they weren’t human, and they certainly weren’t animal. They were disfigured misshapen things, with the wrong number of arms and eyes and grotesque worm like appearances.

They looked like every monster from every childhood story her mother had ever told her—the ones Ino had always told her only civilian parents told their kids to make them mind them. Ino had laughed and told her they were all fake, but…

But these things…they were like every story she’d heard from her mothers lips made real. They were spirits kept from the pure land. Ghosts that would come in the dead of night under a full moon and eat her if she misbehaved, leaving behind only her soul, damning her to become one of them. Shiryou...dead spirits.

Faced with something like that, Sakura once again did something without thinking: she screamed.And—to her immediate shock—the scream echoed loud and clear around the strange colorful forest. The shiryou never even looked in her direction, thankfully.

Bloody hands coming up to her throat in surprise, Sakura tested it again, quieter this time with a weary eye kept firmly on the dead things by the pond.

“H-hello?”

Her voice rang out, clear and real. Real but unreal—because none of this was real. It couldn’t be. How had she gotten here? Just moments ago she’d been in the kitchen, fighting for her life and a way to escape…she’d been trying to perform bunshin no jutsu...trying to make a distraction…was this another genjutsu, like the one she’d broken earlier outside the kitchen? It had to be...it just had to be.

Swallowing heavily, Sakura looked down at her sliced open hand. Hadn't Iruka said pain would break you out of a genjutsu? Well, her hand certainly hurt but...perhaps she should still try to disrupt her chakra?

“Kai!” Sakura called out, for the first time. She looked around hopefully, but…the trees still hulked impossibly tall and mossy green, the sky still glowed eerily through the canopy in pale blue. This was no illusion.

With a shake of her head Sakura did it again, her lips forming around the word she’d never once uttered out loud before. She turned around once more, hoping for some sign that anything had changed…and then she noticed it.

One thing had changed.

She’d been noticed.

Noticed by the very things she didn’t want to look at—those strange and horrifying dead creatures she’d seen in the distance by the pond. She’d been unable to look at them without stomach curdling fear but now she had no choice, she looked directly at them, and they looked right back.

Suddenly they rushed for her and Sakura felt her chest constrict in fear. She nearly turned and ran, but stopped and grabbed Daisuke under the arms at the last second. Dragging a boy a year older than her, she was no where near fast enough to avoid the unholy creatures.

Their cold ghostly hands and mouths gripped her and Sakura struggled and screamed against them, but it was futile. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, perhaps teeth tearing into her flesh, perhaps for her very heart to stop…but the shiryou did neither.Instead, when they reached she and Daisuke, all they did was attach themselves like leeches to their skin. They did nothing but touch her and suddenly her strength fell through her fingers like water, draining from her with impossible speed.

She didn't realize exactly what the feeling was until she was slumped to the ground. She’d felt like this once before—in the hospital, when her chakra had been vastly depleted to the point of a ‘corpse’ as Himeko had said.

Futilely, her bloody hand pushed at a worm like creature with a single eye that clung to her arm. It hardly budged, and when she rolled to try and dislodge the things it did nothing but reattach itself in a new place.

“Let me go! Let me go, I just want to get out of here!” She cried in desperation, tongue clumsy around words she hadn’t spoken in nearly a year. “Daisuke! Daisuke wake up! Please!”

_Somewhere else, somewhere else, somewhere else…_

As the last of her strength dwindled, she gave one last ditch effort to escape, pulsing chakra into the hands that pushed at the creature in the hope that it would do _something_ to help her _._ Her chakra pulsed and shuttered in her hands, formless but not without intent. 

__Somewhere else, please I want to be somewhere, somewhere else…_ _

The ring on her finger glowed suddenly, red like the blood that covered her fingers, and then black swirling markings sprung from its center.

With wide eyes Sakura gaped at the symbols unraveling and spreading up her arm, entirely covering her in a matter of seconds. The creatures sprung away from her like they'd been burned, and for a single moment Sakura stood suspended in time, watching as they all left her and converged on the prone and pale Daisuke.

Daisuke's eyes rolled opened, meeting hers for a single second, before the world went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it a doozy as I promised?! Was it worth the wait??!! 
> 
> I hope it was. :)
> 
> So, this is the beginning of all the supernatural/shinto stuff, as promised in the tags! Super excited to dive into that and flesh out that part of the Naruto 'verse.
> 
> My question for the readers: how'd you all feel about Sasuke's little accident? I didn't want to portray him as too much of an asshole, but he's got a lot of conflicting emotions towards Sakura right now. 
> 
> Also, what do you guys think happened with Naruto? What do you think Daisuke's fate is?


	9. Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, I don't think this chapter will be what many of you were hoping for...which is why there was such a long wait for this. I really agonized over whether to just completely rewrite this one, but if I did that then I'd have to rewrite the next one too which was already done...SO, in the end I'm just gonna throw this at the internet and call it a day. Hopefully you all like it at least a little :)

_ "Half the Truth is often a great Lie." _

\- Benjamin Franklin

 

—

 

“Danzo-sama.”

The low monotone voice echoed from behind him, but Shimura Danzo didn’t turn to face the one who spoke. He sat comfortably on the engawa, the porch that surrounded the inner courtyard of his home, overlooking the perfectly curated garden before him. A tree stood tall and proud in the center, it’s bows full to bursting with pink cherry blossoms.

Tomorrow there would be high winds, and so Danzo appreciated the tree’s splendor now, for he knew the branches would be empty soon—perhaps even by tomorrow evening. He kept the cherry tree for what it represented to him, a reminder to himself that all good, all beauty in the world, was brief and superficial. The beautiful blossoms would soon fall and be trampled into the ground, but the tree would stand strong against the wind by the strength of it’s deep roots.

“Rooster. Have the preparations been made?” Danzo said quietly, taking a sip of his hot tea. 

“Yes. The caretaker was…more difficult to persuade than anticipated. However, he agreed in the end after an offer of a position among the civilian architectural and city planning board.”

“Of course he did.” Danzo said with a minute twitch of his lips. Civilians were ever so predictable…and so easy to trust authority. “Be sure to keep an eye on him to ensure he follows through tomorrow. And the chunnin as well—has he cooperated?”

“Eagerly.” Rooster said from behind him, “Too eagerly. He seems to have his own motivations, a worrying prospect. In return, as you suspected, he asked only for access to the restricted section of the Konoha library, which I agreed to grant.”

“Ah yes, fear not—I know quite well of his…motivations. I think he’d be surprised to find he is not the only one with such secret ambitions in Konoha...” Danzo chuckled lowly, although his stoic face hardly moved at all beneath its bandages. 

“It’s amusing that so many seem to think they can play both sides of the field undetected—there is no spy in Konoha that I don’t know of…but I let them remain, as long as they are useful to me. A means to a better end.” There was a long moment of silence as Danzo refilled his cup of tea, letting it sit upon the tray next to him.

“I will not abide any mistakes in this, Rooster.” Danzo stated firmly with a brief glance over his shoulder. The masked man bowed low in his seiza position in acknowledgment. 

“Our recruitment has become ever more difficult now that Sarutobi has forced us underground. It is paramount that this mission succeeds for us to continue protecting Konoha from the shadows. We _must_ rebuild our numbers with undocumented soldiers, ones who can avoid the eyes and ears of the Hokage’s watchdogs.”

“Of course, Danzo-sama.” Rooster bowed deeply where he sat, “I understand completely. I will not fail you. The mission tomorrow will succeed as planned.”

With a nod of satisfaction, Danzo turned back to his contemplation of his garden as he heard Rooster quietly disappear from his private compound. He had no doubt the mission would be a success, as Rooster was a quite accomplished member of ROOT who had indeed never failed any assignment he’d been given—not even when it was to fake his own death. 

Still, a strange sense of foreboding stayed with Danzo for inexplicable reasons, the feeling that something wasn’t quite right—the feeling that he’d missed something very important. With an incredulous huff at himself, Danzo moved to pick up his cup of tea, no longer scalding hot, only to frown at what he saw in it. 

There, floating at the surface of his cup, was a cherry blossom. It must have been blown by the wind into his cup while he was lost in thought. 

Disgusting.

Danzo dumped the cup out over the side of the engawa with a scowl before going to refill it, only to find his pot was empty. His last cup wasted, over a single blossom. 

 

— 

 

Hinata was standing on the boarder of the main house and the branch house, heart in her throat.

She wasn’t allowed here, beneath the large wooden archway that separated the two areas of the Hyuuga compound, even though she was still technically within the main house. She’d never done something like this before…broken the rules to go to the branch house…not since Neji had started ignoring her anyways.

With a shaky breath Hinata crossed the precipice. The branch house side _looked_ no different than the main house side, but Hinata knew it was.

As she made her way among the traditionally styled buildings Hinata wondered at herself. She couldn’t believe she was doing this…just because Sakura had asked her to just hours earlier. Sakura, who sat next to Naruto everyday, who shared smiles with him so easily, who ignored the stares and the whispers and stood by him without a care…

Hinata had watched them both from afar for months now…both jealous of Sakura’s courage to do what she couldn’t, and thankful that Naruto wasn’t all alone anymore. Sakura had done everything Hinata herself had always wanted to do, and she’d made it look easy. 

If Hinata could just do this one thing…maybe she could be like that too.

As the dark haired girl came to a stop in front of a once familiar paneled door, she felt her anxiety ratchet up. She was frozen there, her heart beating so hard she could feel it in her throat. She raised her hand to knock, shaking a bit.

Behind the door was the home of her cousin, Neji, as well as his maternal aunt Himeko. When Sakura had said that name, Hinata had been shocked into silence. How had she known Neji’s aunt? Hinata herself had only ever met her once, when she was younger and had skinned her knee playing in the gardens all alone. Himeko had come over, seemingly from the very shadows themselves, and kneeled in front of her.

_“Hinata-sama, you must be more careful next time…”_ She’d said, pulling a jar out from her pocket. _“Here, this will help it heal quicker…it’s medicinal. Keep it—please.”_

And Hinata had kept it—it was still locked in her bedroom drawer, although it had likely lost it’s potency after so many years. Despite that, Hinata sometimes took that jar out and used it anyways—on cuts and bruises from sparing with her sister Hanabi—always sparingly, and with a little smile at the woman’s kindness towards her. 

In the main house such kindness was uncommon—or course, her father would call it ‘coddling’ rather than kindness…although perhaps that would have been different had her mother survived the birth of Hanabi. Hinata only had vague memories of the woman that was her mother, as she’d died when she was very young…in fact, Hinata could remember Himeko’s face more clearly than her own mother, when she thought about it.

Looking back on that day, Hinata realized the level of worry Himeko had shown her had far exceeded what a skinned knee would usually warrant, but she supposed she _was_ the heir to the Hyuuga clan…for now anyways.

“Are you just going to stand there or do you intend to knock?”

Giving out a startled shriek Hinata spun around and slammed her back against the door.

“N—Neji-nii-san!” She stuttered, relaxing against the door with a relieved breath. “You s-scared me…”

Neji raised a single brow at that, crossing his arms. Usually decorum would demand that he bow to her, being a branch member, but he did no such thing. Hinata was grateful for it, as it made them feel more familiar with each other—even if she knew the only reason he didn’t bow was that no one was around to chastise him for not doing it.

“I should be the one who’s scared.” He said with a frown. “You shouldn’t be here…if you’re caught who do you think will be the one to get in trouble? It certainly won’t be you.”

“I know, but, I just—Neji-nii-san I n-n-need to-to—” Flustered by his accusation, Hinata wrung her hands. 

He was right, wasn’t he? This had been a terrible idea…what was she thinking? All she ever wanted to was to help people, but she only ever seemed to make things worse…But, still, Sakura would be so disappointed if she didn’t talk to Himeko for her like she’d said she would…and then Naruto would be disappointed to, to see his best friend so sad and—

“Well? What is it?” Neji said with a sigh. “If you’ve nothing to say, then you should just head back to the main house, Hinata-sama.”

With a pointed look he put his hand on the door that Hinata backed herself against, and she quickly moved out of his way before she’d even thought not to. Neji slid the door open, dismissing her presence as he toed off his shoes and made to close the door.

“Ah—no, wait—!” With a burst of courage Hinata grabbed at Neji’s sleeve, “I—I need to talk to Himeko-san!”

Neji froze in the doorway.

“My aunt? Why?” He said, looking over his shoulder at her suspiciously.

“Because…because I just—I just need to…” Hinata finished lamely, still clutching at Neji’s sleeve. “Please, Neji-nii-san?”

Neji gave a tight lipped sigh, and glared at the hand gripping his sleeve. “Of course, _Hinata-sama_ , right this way.”

With a relieved smile Hinata let go of her cousin’s sleeve. She couldn’t believe it…she’d really done it! She’d The warm feeling in her stomach grew, but it was soured a bit by how her cousin said her name—as if to emphasize the fact that she was a main house member and he a branch member. It made her feel terribly guilty for asking him for anything, as usual—he always made it seem as if he had no choice but to do as she said…

Still…Hinata was glad she’d found the courage to reach out to him today, Sakura had trusted her to get this message to Himeko after all…and Hinata was rather excited to see the kind woman she’d assumed she’d never meet again.

“Himeko-san, I’m home.” Neji called for his aunt as they both entered into the empty main room. Hinata was shocked to hear him call her by her name, even if it was with a respectful suffix. It was unusual to call family members by their name rather than their relation to you, although if anyone would do as such it would be Neji.

“Himeko-san? Are you here?”

Hinata’s stomach sank when no response came. Was Himeko not here right now? Had she come all this way for nothing? 

Neji glanced at her, “Wait here Hinata-sama, she might be in the back.”

Hinata nodded shyly as Neji left her standing awkwardly in the center of the houses receiving room. She wondered idly why the place was so bare…all there was in the room were a few floor pillows and a low table. The only place with any sort of character was along the far wall…and what Hinata saw there had her eyes widening in surprise.

There, at the highest point on the wall, was a shelf with a miniature household shrine—a Kamidana, literally meaning the god's shelf. The fact it existed in the house was not at all surprising to Hinata, no, the fact that it was displayed so _openly_ was what was surprising.

In the main house such a thing was kept in a small room, secluded from the rest of the home, although no less valued for it. Despite how diligently many of the Hyuuga were in their offerings and prayers to the Kami…it wasn’t something that was spoken of outside of the clan. In fact…speaking of it to outsiders was forbidden entirely.

Why…Hinata had never quite grasped. The one time she’d asked her father about it had only further confused her, and she’d never summed up the courage to question it further.

_“Although it was once different..following the old way, the Way of the Kami, has now become something only associated with civilians. The old Way is seen only as some vast collection of folklore and superstitions, created by the uneducated to explain the unexplainable."_ Her father had said, as if that explained it all. " _The Hyuuga…can never be seen as such, even if it means hiding all association with worshiping the Kami. The Hyuuga are, first and foremost, shinobi—and shinobi believe only in chakra, and the Sage's teachings. Kami are for civilian merchants and peasants...even the Daimyo has broken from such superstitions.”_  

Hinata had tried asking why being associated with civilians would be so terrible, but he’d only looked at her like she was utterly foolish for asking such a thing, and so she’d ducked her head and dropped it. Her next question would’ve been why they kept to the practice at all, but she hadn’t had the self confidence to ask anymore.

She hadn't liked it though, to hide such a thing. It felt like a lie, even though she'd never been asked and so had never actually denied believing in Kami...although she wasn't entirely certain she did anyways. The hidden Kamidana in the main house seemed to mirror that. It was a lie of omission to hide it behind closed doors when people came to visit, and the fact that Neji and his aunt kept theres out in the open felt much more truthful.

Hinata supposed it made sense though, considering the Hyuuga’s secrecy around the subject, that a branch members home would display it more openly than the main house. After all, branch members were prohibited from bringing company into the compound, while main house members often entertained high profile visitors. Such limitations on company would make it possible for them to display their Kamidana more openly, as they had no fear of anyone seeing it that shouldn’t.

Drifting closer, Hinata admired the carved wooden replica of a shrine, it’s door’s closed. Inside she knew there was a piece of paper, an Ofuda, on which a specific Kami’s name was written—the Kami most associated with the Hyuuga clan. A Torii gate, unpainted and simplistic but beautiful all the same, stood proudly in front of the miniature shrine. On either side of it was an unlit stick of incense and a branch shorn from an evergreen tree, ones whose leaves had only just begun to wilt.

It was much simpler than the one housed in the home Hinata lived in, but she decided it was better for it—there was more personality allowed in it’s humbleness. She found she felt more comfortable here than she did in her own home…

It wasn’t until her eyes drifted down to the shelf lower on the wall that she began to feel uncomfortable in front of the Kamidana. For there, set in a silver frame, was a photo of her father.

She knew of course that it wasn’t her _actual_ father, rather…it was his twin, _Neji’s_ father, her uncle. But he had the same face as her father, if perhaps less lined, and to see him so happy…it was shocking. He looked so affectionately at his wife, dressed all in her traditional wedding dress…she couldn’t look away at the love she saw there.

Realizing she’d been staring for much too long, she turned and gingerly sat on one of the pillows in the middle of the room. She was hesitant to get too comfortable in a place she’d invited herself into, it felt rather rude to just maker herself at home when Neji obviously didn’t want her there—

A crash sounded from the back, and Hinata jumped to her feet. She stared at the closed door that led further into the house, hesitating. She really shouldn’t…Neji had told her to wait here, but—

Pacing, Hinata waited just a few more moments before finally making the decision to go looking for her cousin and his aunt. She felt emboldened by todays venture, and every time she found herself backing down Sakura and Naruto's face would pop into her head, pushing her to do more than sit quietly and wait. She carefully tiptoed through the door that led out of the main receiving room, coming into a hallway with several doors.

Nervously she looked up and down the hallway, unsure where to check first.

“H-hello?” She called out in her tiny voice, but there was no response. “Neji-nii-san? Himeko-san?”

As she stood there in the quiet of the house, suddenly she could hear a low mumbling coming from one of the rooms. Hinata moved towards the source of the noise, wondering if she should try calling out a bit louder—her father was always telling her she was too quiet.

Suddenly the voices within the room raised, and Hinata jumped, recognizing the voice as Neji’s.

“Neji-nii-san,” Hinata started, her hand already opening the door. “Are you alright?"

As soon as the door opened Hinata gasped. There on the floor was Neji and Himeko, her cousin glaring at the woman in front of him while she held his bleeding hand and…

…and healed him. She’d never seen a Hyuuga heal before.

“Hinata-sama!” Himeko said with a shocked look towards where she stood in the open door, “What are you—”

“She came here to give you a message.” Neji said through clenched teeth as he tried to pull away from his aunt’s glowing hands. “You didn’t come out when I called, so I came back to fetch you.”

Finally, as he succeeded in ripping his hand away from his aunt, Hinata broke out of her surprise to kneel down beside him.

“Neji-nii-san, you’re hurt!” She said, reaching out towards him, only for her hand to be slapped away by his clearly healed one. She flinched away, shocked—he’d always been rather cold to her, but he’d _never_ hit her before.

“Neji!” Himeko admonished immediately, her eyes furious. “What are you doing? You are in the presence of a main house member—act like it!”

“Are you sure I’m not in the presence of _two_ main house members?” Neji said, eyes cold and pinned to Himeko. 

“I have no idea what you mean by that—”

“Don’t you?” Neji exploded, suddenly on his feet. “Then why don’t you—!”

“Neji! That is _enough_.” Himeko said, standing as well and towering over both Neji and Hinata, her voice calm and deadly quiet. 

“How _dare_ you raise your voice to me…I am your _aunt_ , and you will treat me with respect. Do you understand me?” 

Instantly her authority filled the room, and Hinata felt pinned in place by the force of it. She hadn’t even needed to yell—the sheer force of her words were enough. Hinata looked between them rapidly, hands wringing and stomach clenching, unsure of what to do.

“Acting in such a way…and in the presence of Hinata-sama too. Go to your room.” Himeko’s face was cold and hard as she stared down at Neji, and Hinata could barely connect this stern woman with the one who’d so kindly helped her all those years ago. 

Neji continued to stare directly up at Himeko, his eyes fierce and fists clenched and shaking. He didn’t move from his spot.

“ _Now_ , Neji.” Himeko said with narrowed eyes, before softening minutely, “…we will talk later, I promise.”

It was only then that Neji moved to the door, still looking utterly furious. He didn’t meet Hinata’s eyes when she looked up at him.

“Hinata-sama…please forgive this one for being such a terrible hostess.” Himeko said, kneeling in front of her and touching her forehead to the floor. “That was a shameful display you just saw…I hope you will not hold it against us. Neji…he’s young and doesn’t know how to hold his temper as of yet.”

“It’s…It’s okay…” Hinata said quietly, uncomfortable with the display of formality, and confused at what she’d just witnessed. She’d never seen Neji so angry…what had happened? She had so many questions…

“Will…will he be alright? His hand…”

“Ah…yes, he’ll be fine.” Himeko said, looking suddenly guilty. “His wound is healed already. The blood you saw is easily washed off.”

Relieved, Hinata nodded. “How did…?”

Himeko sighed, “It’s entirely my fault…he walked in on me while I was sleeping, and accidentally activated one of my traps coming in and hurt his hand.”

“N-no I meant…” Hinata trailed off, uncertain if she should ask. She had wondered how he’d hurt it but… “H-how did you…heal him?” 

The words slipped out without Hinata’s conscious permission, and she felt the need to slap her hands over her mouth in shock. For some reason it felt like something she shouldn’t speak of. But…she’d never seen a Hyuuga medic-nin…in fact, she'd been told many times by her father that they just didn't exist. Had he lied to her when he'd told her medical ninjutsu was impossible for Hyuuga because of their special chakra? 

Whether a true lie, or just a half truth, for Hinata to see Himeko healing—it was like a jolt to her system.

It was like the first time she’d seen Naruto training, so determined even in the face of all his obstacles. It was like the first time she’d seen Naruto and Sakura together, talking and playing so easily despite all the glares and sneers directed towards them. It was like that feeling—but bigger. 

A Hyuuga medic…a Hyuuga who healed rather than hurt. A Hyuuga who helped others, rather than fought them. Could it…really be possible?

“Ah, yes that was…” Himeko cleared her throat. “I…know a bit of medical ninjutsu, is all. Sometimes I…treat the ailments of those who need it within the clan.”

Hinata stared at her in awe. So it was true…how had she never known the Hyuuga had a medic? Although…she supposed she’d never gotten really hurt before…

“Hinata-sama…not that you aren’t welcome here, but…well, I believe your father wouldn’t too happy about it.” Himeko finally said, looking worried. “I think it would be best if you were on your way back to the main house as quickly as possible.”

At her words Hinata was suddenly reminded of the reason she’d come here in the first place, and an urgency came over her.

“I—I needed to bring you a message.” She blurted out, and Himeko looked up at her bewildered. 

“A…message? For me?”

Hinata nodded, “From—from Sakura-chan. She told me…she wanted you to meet her, tomorrow afternoon, in Ueno park…”

“I…see.” Himeko frowned. She looked as if she were about to say something, but then suddenly her head turned quick to look towards the door, eyes widening. 

“…it seems we’ve run out of time.” Himeko sighed, looking back to Hinata with a strange smile. “It was lovely having you Hinata-sama, but it’s time for you to go home.”

Then, before Hinata even had to time to absorb what she’d said, the door flew open and there, standing large and imposing, was her father. 

Hinata’s stomach dropped.

 

—

 

The room was smoky with the smell of burning incense, one which brought back vivid memories for Himeko of the last time she’d been in this exact room, nearly eight years ago, her child lost to her. She carefully kept her face placid and polite, her eyes downcast but back straight. Her knees already ached from the sitting position, but the traditional seiza was the only proper way to sit in front of the clan head.

 

She could feel said clan head’s eyes drilling into her, but she didn’t cower before him despite the tumult of her emotions. She knew the importance of respect, and she knew well the power of authority—especially the authority of her own clan head—but that didn’t mean she would ever cower. She never had, as polite and deferential as she was. It was a trait Neji shared with her— that unwavering poise in the face of authority—or perhaps she should say it was a trait he shared with his mother, her sister. Although her sister had always been much more outspoken than she…much more outwardly stubborn.

And just like his mother, Neji…well, he had a long way to go when it came to holding his tongue, as Himeko had seen just that evening. Her lips downturned at the thought of it, and the fact that she had yet to speak with him as she’d promised.

She was almost glad that the clan head had called for her, if only so she had more time to deliberate on what to say to her nephew…

“I’ve already spoken with my daughter.” Hiashi finally said, leaning forward from behind his desk. “Hinata knows better than to go to the branch house, and her disobedience is my failing…but my main concern, is _why._ Why would she display such direct disobedience? It’s unlike her…which is why you are here. _”_

Himeko looked up and met the Hyuuga clan head’s eyes, and his gaze was just as sharp as she remembered it being.

“She felt the need to find _you_ of all branch members. And when I asked her, all she said was that she had to give you a message—a message from some _civilian girl,_ of all people.”

“I suppose Hinata-sama must like the girl, Hiashi-sama, to go against the rules for her.”

Hiashi glared at her, “Don’t play games with me Himeko. This girl, ‘Sakura,’ she’s the civilian who survived the massacre isn’t she? What was she doing asking after you?”

Himeko wasn't surprised he knew who the girl was. Despite their quiet on the subject of what had happened, they also hadn’t outwardly covered up the girls involvement either—such a thing would only draw more suspicion, and of course they had the reliability of a child's secrecy to consider.

“She was a…patient.” Himeko answered, “My expertise was requested personally—”

Himeko knew Hiashi wouldn’t like her answer, and she was right. His lips immediately thinned, and he quickly interrupted her before she could finish.

“You are the Hyuuga’s personal medic. To request you work on someone outside the clan is an insult.” He said shortly, “Very few outside the clan should even know of your medic-nin status…who requested you?”

“That would the hokage, Hiashi-sama.” Himeko said, and she saw his face blanch a little. “I couldn’t very well refuse.”

“How unusual…Hokage-sama knows of your situation, and he doesn’t often interfere with clan matters…the girl must have been a rather special case to need your expertise…” Hiashi said with narrowed eyes. The sentence was a clear request for more information, and Himeko grit her teeth behind her placid facade.

“Perhaps.” She settled on. “I wouldn’t know, I was given only the necessary information to do my job. My job, which prevents me from disclosing the medical records of my patients.”

“You would deny information that your clan head requests?” Hiashi said softly, a dangerous chill in his voice.

Himeko met his eyes squarely. “I would, if my hokage requests it of me.”

They both sat there, eyes locked, as the last of the incense smoke trailed about them. It smoldered in it’s holder one last time, before blinking out of existence. It’s ashes lay like curled bones in the dish below it.

“I see.” Hiashi settled on. “I suppose this conversation is over then...make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. Hinata isn’t to be visiting the branch house, am I clear?”

“Yes, Hiashi-sama.”

With a sigh Hiashi waved a hand to dismiss her, his face giving nothing away to her as to what he was thinking. Himeko had always hated and revered that about him—he was one of the few people she sincerely couldn’t read.

Himeko hesitated as she was about to take her leave. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell her clan head of the incident with Neji earlier that day, of the secret that he now new…but she would rather bite off her traitorous tongue than to get her nephew in hot water for something revealed entirely of her own fault.

With her lips tightly shut, Himeko gave one last bow and shuffled backwards to leave the room. She turned sideways at the door, head respectfully down as she reached to slide it open…only for Hyuuga Hiashi to speak once more.

“Himeko—” Hiashi said abruptly, “—you wouldn't have been the one to find the girl on the night of the massacre…would you?”

The question caught her off guard and, before she could help herself, Himeko flinched. It was all the answer Hiashi needed.

“I see…” He huffed, disapproval in his voice. “So, you’ve been re-enlisted in ANBU then?” 

It was said mildly, but when Himeko turned her head to look over at him, it was clear Hiashi was against the notion. She sighed, knowing there was no out she could take in this situation. The hokage’s secrecy protection didn’t extend to her status in ANBU, at least not when it came to her clan head. In fact, she was actually required to have told him long ago—something she’d…’forgotten' to do.

“You requested the hokage not let me leave the village on public missions after I took Neji on, and yet you will not allow me to stand guard over the main house of the Hyuuga compound as the other branch members do.” There was a bitterness in Himeko’s voice that was barely veiled, “My talents are wasted healing scrapes and bruises from training accidents. The Hokage knew of my situation, and made use of me. I could not refuse.”

“As your clan head I should’ve been consulted on this matter—”

“I was in ANBU before you were ever instituted as clan head. At the time, protocol was indeedfollowed and your most honorable father was consulted, upon which he did give his permission.”

“That was then—when you were young. Much has changed since then.” Hiashi narrowed his eyes at her, likely seeing through the soft politeness of her voice. “I’m sure my _honorable_ father would agree with me, were he here to do so.”

From her place at the door Himeko met the eyes of the Hyuuga clan head squarely. She reigned in the impotent anger she felt, keeping her face calm and blank. 

“One does not leave ANBU…one simply becomes unfit for missions.” Himeko said finally. "And I am not yet unfit, Hiashi-sama."

The words were not technically _lawfully_ true—if only because there weren’t actually any laws _specifically_ relating to ANBU besides those relating to secrecy and their loyalty to the Hokage. But, in practice, that was how the organization worked. If her clan head truly had an issue with her being a part of the shadowy organizations operations…then he would have to take it up with the hokage himself—and he knew it.

Both Hiashi and his father before him had been aware of just how permanent the ANBU could be, the fact that Hiashi was making such a fuss now was a simple power move. He was hoping he could pressure her into backing out of the missions herself, that much was clear. Himeko mused that his next words would likely be a hit at her old age, an attack on her confidence in her ability to preform up to standard.

“To be nearly thirty and in ANBU once more…you’ll just get yourself killed.” He said, and Himeko nearly rolled her eyes to hear her prediction come true. 

This conversation was one she’d heard given a thousand times to other young females in the Hyuuga clan—it was sad how predictable it was. 

“You should be settling down, finding someone to—”

“To have children with?” Himeko finished for him, unable to hold her tongue despite the rudeness of it. “I believe we’ve had this conversation before, Hiashi-sama. I have Neji. He is enough.”

Their eyes met like clashing steal, but Hiashi didn’t admonish her for speaking out of turn. There were too many things that could be said should that line of conversation continue…too many things that should never be spoken aloud.

“Hinata-sama won’t come to the branch house again.” She said to break the silence, turning back to the door. “I’ll tell Sakura-san where to find me, should she need to in the future. That should be enough to ensure she won’t go through Hinata-sama again.”

With a bow, Himeko took her leave of the tense room, emotions choking her. The clan head didn’t stop her a second time.

 

—

 

When she arrived home it was with great trepidation. She hesitated at the front door, sensing that her nephew was just on the other side, likely waiting for her.

With a sigh she entered, calling out a quiet greeting as she toed off her shoes. As she’s thought, Neji was indeed in the main room of the house, but she was surprised to find his back turned to her. She was even more surprised when she realized that he sat before the Kamidana, his head bowed.

“Neji…” Himeko started, her voice sounding unnervingly loud in the quiet of the room. 

Her nephew didn’t turn or acknowledge her presence from his spot before the Kamidana, and so she walked slowly over to sit besides him. She gave the customary bow before the household shrine, then two claps, then another bow. As she rose from her brief prayer for the health and safety of her family she looked over to the last of her said family, whose head was still bowed. 

She stopped herself from speaking to him. It would be very rude to interrupt someone as such, although she found it utterly strange to see one so young so utterly focused on praying to the gods. Then again…Neji had always been such a serious child, forced by fate and circumstance to grow up much too fast.

Finally he opened his eyes, still looking up at the shelf which held their miniature shrine to the gods as the lit incense stick lazily spun curls of smoke. It was a vivid reminder of her meeting with the clan head just minutes before—and exactly what she’d abstained from saying in that meeting. Himeko suddenly thought to wonder how her tiny nephew had even lit the incense, considering how high upon the wall the shrine was. She dearly hoped he hadn’t already learned to wall walk…she knew he wasn’t called the clans prodigy for nothing, but still…

“What were you so intently asking the god’s for?” She settled on, hoping to delay the inevitable questions.

“Impossible things.” He murmured, mouth twisting. His hand reached out and fingered the portrait of his father and mother on the shelf below the Kamidana. Himeko watched softly with sad eyes. She had a feeling she knew what he’d prayed for.

“The Kami can’t change the past…no one can. The past is immutable.” 

“I know.” He said, brows furrowing suddenly. “All they do is sit on that shelf and watch us. They never give us anything—they never _do_ anything…at least that’s what I thought.”

Surprised, Himeko watched as Neji turned towards her, his eyes not meeting her’s but riveted directly upon her forehead.

“You always said that we pray to the gods to ask for a better fate.” He whispered. “That all we have is the ability to shape the present, and imagine the future…only Kami can truly shape our fate.”

Slowly, Neji’s small hands reached up towards her, and Himeko fell completely still. The nine year old’s hands were already calloused from kunai throwing, were already strong and flexible from practicing complex hand signs, and yet they shook where they settled upon her Konoha head protector.

“Did the god’s answer your prayers?” He said, voice hopeful. “Did they change your fate?”

Himeko closed her eyes as she allowed him to pull the protector from her head. The cool air of the room hit her bare skin, and she felt more than heard Neji’s gasp.

“I knew it.” He said, struggling to keep his voice from wobbling and failing. “I knew I hadn’t just imagined it. You really…you really have no…”

There was a thunk as the metal of her Konoha headband fell to the tatami mats, and then suddenly Neji’s fingers were tracing over the smooth unmarked skin of her forehead.

“No caged bird seal…”

Gently, Himeko reached up and grasped her nephew’s hands, conflicted. She had been so dearly tempted to insist what he’d seen earlier was merely a henge when she’d first come in, but…seeing him, she’d known she wouldn’t be able to lie to him. If she had, she was entirely certain he’d know it, and likely never trust her again.

“This is not a secret to take lightly, Neji. You do understand that don’t you?” She whispered, catching his wide confused eyes. “It would be better if you’d never known in the first place, but now that you do…you must never speak of it. If Hiashi-sama finds out you know…well, I’m sure he won’t be nearly as kind as I while ensuring your silence—”

“Why?” He blurted out, looking more like the nine year old he was than she’d seen in a long, long time. “Why do you have no seal—and why did you never _tell_ me—”

“My Byakugan...the Kami took it from me." 

Shocked for a moment at her response, Neji rocked back onto his heels, looking between her and the Kamidana. Then his face switched to pained incredulity.

"That's a lie."

"It's not a lie."

"Then it's half a lie!" Neji cried, fists clenched upon his knees, "I've known you my entire life, and I know when you're holding things back from me!"

There was a hurt look on his young face that pained Himeko. The fact that she'd been holding back the fact she had no caged bird seal all this time and he had never noticed before was on the tip on her tongue, but his expression stopped her from saying anything.

"Neji...the less you know the better. As I said, Hiashi-sama is not one to take lightly on this matter. Which is why this subject would be better off never spoke of again.” She said with a frown. The hurt on Neji’s face quickly turned to anger. He stood suddenly, fist clenched—even standing while she sat, he was still only at eye height with her.

“You really expect me to say nothing, to _ask_ nothing? To sit here and play _pretend,_ while everything I’ve ever known is flipped upside down? You’re a branch member…yet you have no seal, no _Byakugan_ apparently, you’re _free…_ tell me why, tell me _how…please.”_

Neji shook before her, his face as open as a book, eyes bright with fervor and _hope—_ hope that he too could lose his seal, the very seal that had killed his father _._ Her shoulders slumped, she took a deep breath, and prepared herself to shatter that hope.

“No.” 

Neji stumbled backwards, looking as if he’d been slapped by that single word. His mouth opened around a question, but then snapped closed.

“…it’s true that my cursed seal was removed, and I wasn't lying when I said I no longer can use the Byakugan. In a way, I am ‘free’ as you said…at least from the main house’s _physical_ control. But every freedom come’s at a cost Neji…and this is one cost that I would never wish upon you.” She said in an attempt to help him understand. “Some things just are how they are, Neji, and we can’t change them.”

“What cost could possibly be worse than this cursed seal?” Came the angry words, his eyes far away and looking right through her. “What cost could be worse than knowing we could be killed at any time by the main house, and we’d have no choice in the matter?”

Himeko tried to hide her pained look at the pointed reference to Hyuuga Hizashi’s death, unable to immediately come up with a response.

“I thought…I thought this seal was a symbol of some inescapable destiny…but you—you escaped it.” His eyes refocused on her. “Some things can’t be changed, it’s true. Some things are how they are and we have no other choice but to live with it, but this—this is just you refusing to allow them to change for anyone but yourself!”

“Neji!” Himeko said in surprise as he ran from the room. She rose to follow him, but stopped herself at the sound of the door to his room slamming shut. Her words failed her, her thoughts a jumbled mess of panicked responses and half truths—if she followed him now she knew she’d surely only make things worse.

With a great heaving sigh Himeko settled down again before the Kamidana, a hand pressed to her bare face. She looked to the photo of her sister and brother-in-law, one taken of them smiling and happy on their wedding day…

She picked it up, tracing her sisters beautiful face. Guilt quickly ate through her defenses to seep into her heart like a knife.

“Oh, Himari…” She said after a long while, “I don’t know what to do with that boy…he reminds me so much of you.”

Then, she set the picture frame face down, clapped her hands twice, and prayed to the Kami for an answer to her troubles. She knew they wouldn't answer, they hadn't ever before, but still she prayed. She prayed until she slowly drifted off to sleep right there in front of the Kamidana.

 

—

 

That night, there were many in Konoha with troubled hearts, as there often is. 

In the dark of night, in the most vast compound of one of the wealthiest clans of Konoha, a woman lay before her household shrine, her nephew’s troubling anger and bitter words heavy on her heart. Just streets away in a private room, one kept guarded at all times, a young heiress slept clutching a jar of ointment in her hands. She dreamed of healing instead of fighting, of her father watching her with pride rather than disapproval. 

Miles away, in an orphanage, a different girl dreamed just as fitfully, dreams filled with bare cherry blossom trees, with she alone among all the fallen petals—a fear she did not yet realize would come to fruition. 

The blonde boy beside her slept little, and didn’t dream at all. Worries for the next day, of being late on his friends birthday and for a lost book—a birthday present that he couldn’t seem to find. He thought perhaps he’d left it at the academy while showing it off and thought to look for it there the next day, during his involuntary cleaning duty. 

In the very same orphanage, a man drank himself to sleep and had every intention of staying that way for the foreseeable future. He could not be sober and think on what he’d agreed to do, and so he told himself it was not greed that made him sign his soul away, but sheer self preservation, and then he drank and drank and drank…all while two guards patrolled outside, watching and waiting for any who would try to harm the two children within.

The next day would herald a change for many, but not all for the better.

 

—

 

“Stop making a mess, idiot.”

“Shut up, I’m not making a mess!”

“Hn.” Sasuke grunted with a roll of his eyes, “We’re supposed to be cleaning, not making a bigger mess than there was when we got here.”

“I’m not!” Naruto denied, ignoring the pointed look Sasuke gave the empty bookcase behind him, the books which had once graced it’s shelves now piled in a heap on the floor beside him. “I’m just…getting the books out of the way so I can…dust.”

“Whatever. I’m not going to clean it up.”

“I didn’t ask you to, jerk.”

They both locked eyes then, glare sparking between them like lightning. Sasuke was the first to blink, looking utterly annoyed at the triumphant grin Naruto shot him.

Silence reigned once more as they both turned back to their cleaning—or in Naruto’s case his definitely _not_ cleaning. Sasuke watched him from the corner of his eye as he smacked the chalk dust out of two blackboard erasers, trying to figure out what he was doing out of shear boredom.

It was clear Naruto was looking for something, but the fact he was looking for something among _books_ of all things was the strange part. He never would’ve thought he’d see the day when the dead last would actively search for a book to read.

“Finally decided to do some studying, dead last?” Sasuke said with a smirk as Naruto started looking through a second bookshelf. “I’d just give up if I were you—no book is going to help you suck at chakra control less, not when even the top kunoichi in class helping you got you no where.”

At first, Sasuke was surprised at himself. He wouldn't usually waste his time on talking to anyone...he figured it must just be the utter boredom of being stuck here all morning with Naruto. Slowly though, Sasuke’s smirk fell from his face as his goad was entirely ignored. Naruto was completely immersed in his destruction of the bookshelf in front of him, his brows furrowed with something like worry as he searched through them.

“Hey. Dobe.” Naruto continued to ignore him, and Sasuke felt indignation boil up inside him. How dare this idiot ignore him? And how dare be so quiet and—

Sasuke cut his train of thought off, feeling strangely uncomfortable with where it'd been going. The silence stretched on, the silence that was just as heavy and oppressive here as it was in his large, empty, apartment.

He looked down at the eraser he still held in his hand, mind blank.

“Wha—hey!” Naruto cried as the eraser hit him squarely in the back of his head, coating it with chalk dust. “Asshole, what was that for!”

“Target practice.” Sasuke blurted out before he could stop himself. Naruto looked at him in shock, most likely because of the tiny snort of laughter Sasuke couldn’t stop from escaping. He couldn’t help but be just as surprised at himself—it wasn’t like him to do something like that, to joke and _laugh_ of all things…

…but Naruto just looked so ridiculous that he couldn’t help it. Standing there, mouth gapping open like a fish, covered in white chalk dust…another snort escaped Sasuke and he had to turn away to hide it, shocked. 

What was wrong with him? He felt…weird. 

“Tch…” Naruto huffed as he scrubbed at his hair, chalk flying everywhere. “You got lucky with that shot—don’t think you’ll get another one in, teme.”

“Like I could miss…your head’s too big of a target.”

Dodging suddenly, a book sailed past his face to hit the wall instead, binding cracking and sending a sea of unbound pages to cover the floor. Sasuke turned a smirk towards his classmate.

“Nice throw.”

“You trying to start a fight, jerk?!” Naruto called out, picking up another book.

“As if I’d waste my time fighting you.” Sasuke scoffed, looking the other way, “Besides, you’d just make more of a mess—and I don’t want to be stuck in this room with you any longer than I have to be.”

With a glare Naruto slowly relaxed from his fighting stance, crossing his arms. “Feeling’s mutual, trust me.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Sasuke mumbled, looking at the books and mess of pages scattered along the floor. “You just keep making more and more of a mess to clean up…”

“I said I’d clean it up, didn’t I?” Naruto yelled towards him, “You just worry about your side, and I’ll worry about mine.”

“Don’t you get it? Iruka-sensei is right outside—I can’t leave until this room is clean.” Sasuke said slowly, as if speaking to a baby. “The more time you waste looking for whatever dumb book it is you lost, the less time I’ll have to train.”

Suddenly, Naruto was right up in Sasuke’s face, poking him in the chest with a particularly bony finger.

“It’s not dumb!” He said, shocking Sasuke with the real anger in his voice. “And I didn’t _lose_ it, I just…left it somewhere I can’t remember.”

“So…lost it then.” Sasuke said with a raised brow, slapping away the offending finger poking him.

Naruto struggled with a comeback for a moment, an amusing sight as always, before deflating. The fire went out of his eyes as he looked around at the mess strewn across the floor.

“Whatever.” Naruto grumbled, and the word seemed much too quiet coming from the loud mouthed boy. 

Sasuke stood confused as Naruto turned from him and began putting all the books back on their shelves. In response to getting his way, Sasuke began cleaning his side of the room once more while definitely, absolutely 100%, not thinking on the strange reaction from his blonde haired classmate.

He didn’t care why he was acting so weird, as long as he got his work done and Sasuke could go on his way and get back to training—after all, it was Naruto’s fault they were in this situation in the first place, why shouldn’t he look upset? Certainly it couldn’t be about some book—after all, what _book_ could possibly be that important?

Side eyeing Naruto, Sasuke thought privately that perhaps the book held some kind of special jutsu? Then again…it’s not like the dead last could actually perform a jutsu if he found one…and how could he have found one? Those sorts of things were strictly off limits to take out of the library, and only those with clan libraries had access to them outside of it.

Like Sasuke would…if he could push himself to go back to his clan’s compound and it's library.

Lips thinning, the last Uchiha pushed the thought away, focusing instead on the disappointed set of Naruto’s shoulders across the room.

“Is it a ninjutsu book you lost?” Sasuke spoke finally, voice full of feigned disinterest. It seemed he couldn't stop himself from talking now that he’d started—if only because he hadn’t realized just how nice it was to fill that prevalent silence he’d come to hate so terribly.

Naruto half turned to give him a weak glare as he set another book back in it’s place. 

“What do you care?” He said, before what appeared to be a semi-intelligent gleam came to his eye and he snorted. 

“You think I’d give it to you if it was? Yeah, right—not even if you were the last person on the planet, jerk.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and turned away. “Whatever. If it was, it’d be lost on you anyways. You can’t even keep a leaf to your forehead.”

There was a long heavy silence, and both of them turned their back to one another. Only the shuffle of books and paper filled the quiet, but Sasuke found he didn’t mind it this time. The atmosphere now felt strangely…comfortable. Sasuke refused to acknowledge the fact that this was the most he’d spoken in months,  the most fun he’d had in months , and that, of all people, it’d been with _Naruto._

“It was a present, for my birthday.” Naruto suddenly said, still looking away from him. “…my first birthday present.”

The words made Sasuke freeze where he stood picking up sheets of paper, a comeback on the tip of his tongue. _What kind of idiot would get you, of all people, a book? Didn’t they know you can hardly read?_

But the words froze in his throat before he could say them, a memory coming rushing up to him.

 

_“Happy birthday Sasu-kun! Why don’t you open your present from mommy?”_

_“Wow! It’s a—new book?”_

_“That’s right, Sasu-kun! You and me can read this together at bedtime, ne? Won’t that be fun?”_

_“Yeah! Where’s Nii-san—I wanna show him!”_

 

“My first one…and I lost it…” 

Naruto’s voice broke Sasuke out of the memory, and he shook as he placed papers he’d gathered down so he didn’t rip them into a million pieces. Naruto didn’t say anything more, and Sasuke didn’t offer any comfort.

Both boys sat on opposite ends of the room, backs towards one another, both lost in thoughts and memories as they tried to regain control of their emotions. The tension in the air was palpable, and neither boy seemed to know what to say to cut through it.

Thankfully, the tension was cut for them when the door slammed open and their sensei walked in.

“How are you two doing in here, almost done?” Iruka said genially as he popped his head in. Immediately the friendly look on his face dissolved into horror.

“What—what did you two—how did I leave you in here to clean and yet two hours later it’s more of a mess than when you started?! And my book! It’s destroyed!” Grumbling, their sensei pinched his nose in disbelief. 

“Don’t think you two are leaving for a _long_ while now! I want those bookshelves organized alphabetically—and that book’s pages better be all sewn back together...and in order!”

 

—

 

“Ahh, man!” Naruto groaned as he squinted up at the evening sky. “When did it get so late?!”

He was going to be late, there was no avoiding it now…he was supposed to already be at Ueno Park already—instead, he had only just left the academy, and he still had yet to visit the Hokage for his monthly allowance.

On top of that…he hadn’t found his book at the academy, and even Iruka had told him he hadn’t seen it. So all of his searching, all the time he’d wasted, had been for nothing—he truly had lost his birthday present and, to make matters worse, now he’d be late to his meeting with Sakura on _her_ birthday.

He was a _terrible_ friend. Why did Sakura even like him? No one else did…

Walking on autopilot from the academy classrooms to the Hokage tower just one building over, Naruto sniffled a bit and rubbed at his eyes fiercely. He pushed the thoughts fiercely from his head, and picking up the pace of his walk. He couldn’t find the book and he was definitely going to be late to the park, there was nothing he could do about either of those things, all he could do was try his best to get to Sakura as quickly as possible! He’d apologize then and find some way to make it up to her!

With a firm nod, Naruto picked up the pace, running now up the stairs of the tower to the hokage’s office. He’d run in, get his allowance, nod along to the usual speech from the old man about ‘fis-cal respon-sabil-ity,’ whatever that was, and then run to the park as fast as he could. 

“Hey Oji-san!” Naruto called out, as he entered the office. grabbing the packet from the hokage’s desk with his name on it. He barely gave the man time to begin lecturing him on what he should spend the money on before he began to bow quickly and sloppily, backing away towards the door.

“—and if I hear from anyone that you’ve spent it all on ramen again Naruto-kun, I’ll—”

“Uh-huh, yup, will do—anyways, in a rush, gotta go, bye Oji-san!” 

“Naruto—!”

Then, quick to turn on heel, Naruto raced out the door with a grin and a pep in his step. The old man shouted after him, but he could tell it was more annoyed than truly angry, so he ignored it.

With a quick glance at the sun, Naruto grinned. He was making good time—although it was unfortunate that the park was all the way on the other side of Konoha. If he was lucky he’d only be a few hours late.

Heading towards Ueno park meant heading towards the orphanage so, as he always did when going home from the academy, he took a shortcut through the market sector of Konoha. The streets were packed with people, which was unsurprising considering it was a Saturday, and so he found himself mainly taking back alley ways to avoid being caught in the evening crowds.

“What the hell…” A familiar voice said, right before Naruto suddenly found himself slamming into the legs of man who’d stepped out directly in front of him.

With a curl of his nose in disgust, Naruto backed away and looked up at the man he’d run into—a man who smelt overwhelmingly of sake. His eye’s widened in shock at who he saw.

“Nakamura-san?” Naruto murmured in confusion. He looked around at where he was, realizing he’d taken one too many back ways and found himself near a seedier section full of bars and liquor stores. “Shouldn’t you…be at the orphanage, uh, y’know, doing caretaker stuff?”

“What…shoul' I never leave tha' place?” Nakamura slurred, “I do have a life outside you brats, y’know!”

“Um, right, yeah, of course…” Naruto laughed nervously, trying to edge around the man and be on his way. He’d never seen the caretaker drunk once in his entire life…he didn’t think he’d ever seen him drink even a cup of sake.

“Well, I’ve gotta get going so…I’ll see you before curfew, Nakamura-san—probably, anyways.”

Nakamura shuffled to the side, blocking Naruto’s escape once more. He swayed just a bit where he stood.

“You weren’ suppos’d to be here. Weren’ suppos’d to do this ’til later…” Nakamura’s eyes looked strange, pupils blown and focused past Naruto rather than on him. “Came here to ge’ ready, y’know, ge’ m’head in the righ’ place…then you gotta show up an—now I gotta do it, y’know, gotta do it now or I ain’t gonna.”

“Uh…” Naruto backed up a few steps as the man advanced, rapidly fealing uncomfortable with the situation. Naruto looked around but found no one willing to make eye contact with him—the few who lingered outside that is. Many of the people around shuffled inside upon seeing him, a not uncommon occurrence in Naruto’s life. 

“Eh, Nakamura-san…you’re not making any sense…”

“—and I can’t—can’t wait. I’ll sober up and then I ain’t gonna do it—and if I don’t…dunno what’ll happen y’know, dunno what…” Nakamura continued to ramble to himself, taking a messy swig from the bottle clenched in his hand. “I gotta do it. Gotta kill the demon-gotta-”

Then, so fast Naruto barely had time to realize what was happening, the caretaker’s hand raised high in the air and slammed the bottle it held down towards him. Taken off guard at the sheer shock of the attack, Naruto didn’t think to avoid the strike. He had only just enough time to cry out and slam his eyes shut, instinctively raising his hands up to protect his head.

A crash resounded, the sound of a bottle shattering. Then…the sound of choking.

Gingerly, Naruto opened his eyes. He looked down and saw there, on the shadowed ground, the broken bottle. Slowly Naruto lowered his arms and looked up, shakily realizing there was a man in front of him, and he was…he was choking Nakamura.

“W-wait—you…sa-id…” Nakamura wheezed briefly, before suddenly his eyes rolled into the back of his head. After a few more choking gasps, Nakamura suddenly went limp, and the imposing figure of a shinobi who held him let him drop to the ground with a thump.

Naruto’s knee’s gave out from under him, and he stumbled back only a few steps before he sank to the ground. The situation suddenly sank in then—Nakamura, the orphanage caregiver he’d known practically his whole life…he’d just tried to…to kill him?

Lost in thought, Naruto didn’t realize the shinobi who’d saved him was squatting before him until the man cleared his throat impatiently. Startled, Naruto focused on the face just a meter away, shocked at the familiar sight of silver hair. He knew him—the man who’d save his life, it was…

“Mizuki-sensei?” Naruto said in disbelief.

The silver haired man smiled sweetly at Naruto, a smile he’d only ever seen the man direct at Iruka—and even then, rarely. He’d only ever had scowls for Naruto…and most of the children honestly.

“Are you alright?” The teacher asked, eying him for any injuries as Naruto shook his head haltingly. “Ah, thank the Sage…looks like I came right in the nick of time then.”

Naruto nodded, shivering as he looked past Mizuki to the…collapsed form of Nakamura. Or at least…he hoped he was only collapsed. Subtly, the teacher shifted into his view so he could no longer see Nakamura, preventing Naruto from watching long enough to see if his chest rose and fell.

“Naruto-kun,” Mizuki said, face serious. The use of ‘-kun’ shocked Naruto into focusing on him, having never heard him address him so in the past. 

“I think you ought to come with me—”

“Should he now?” Suddenly Mizuki’s face slackened in surprise, his body utterly freezing in place. 

“I don’t believe you’ll be going anywhere—at least not before you tell me _what_ exactly is going on here, and why there’s a dead civilian in the street in the middle of the day.”

Naruto’s eyes were drawn down to Mizuki’s throat by a flash of light, eyes widening as he took in the kunai held tight against the skin there. He hadn’t even heard or seen the figure that now stood behind the chunnin.

“W-wait!” Naruto shouted, standing quickly. The woman behind his sensei didn’t even glance away from Mizuki, her hand steady and gaze sharp. “Don’t hurt him, he—he was just protecting me!”

“Protecting?” The tall woman said, pupil less pale eyes narrowing. “…get to the other side of the alley. Now, please.”

Naruto didn’t move, undaunted as he often was in the face of authority. “He was! He…Nakamura-san was going to…”

Naruto found he couldn’t complete the sentence, disturbed as he was by what had happened. Sure, he’d become used to the harsh glances and hurtful murmuring’s…but never this. Never had they tried to physically harm him—and never from someone he’d _known._ Nakamura may have been strict, he may have given him more chores than the other kids and less food, perhaps called him a few harsh names after a prank but…he’d never once raised a hand to him. 

“Hey. Kid. Naruto.” The kunoichi startled him from his thoughts with the use of his name. How had she even— “Please, go to the other side of the alley.”

“He’s telling the truth.” Mizuki finally spoke up, “That civilian was going to kill him—I was lucky I arrived when I did. A second later and that bottle over there would be in poor Naruto-kun’s skull…I did only what any good shinobi, no—any good _teacher_ —would do when they see an…innocent child in danger.”

Naruto squirmed over the words, knowing them to be truthful but finding them discomforting. And something about the way Mizuki spoke them, with a certain sickly sweet undertone…and the strange hesitation over the word 'innocent.'

“I see…And you, a chunnin, couldn’t find a way to do that _without_ killing a defenseless civilian?”

“I didn’t mean to kill him—” Mizuki said carefully, throat bobbing against the kunai as it pressed closer, “The man was drunk out of his mind, he probably drank himself halfway to death before I even got here. And anyways…that man deserved what he got.”

Naruto flinched at that, unsure if he truly agreed with the sentiment. He tried not to look over at the confirmed corpse a few meters away.

“I believe we should leave such a judgement to Hokage-sama.” The austere woman said, and Mizuki carefully nodded against the steel at his throat.

“My thoughts exactly—it was where I was about to suggest Naruto and I go before you so…valiantly swooped in to the situation.”

The woman’s gaze narrowed in deliberation. Then, in what seemed to be very purposefully casual move, she shifted just slightly. Naruto didn’t know it, but it was a test—an opportunity to attack or escape that any liar would take in a second. When Mizuki did nothing to take advantage of the opportunity she’d left open, only then did she stand down and pull her kunai away from the chunnin’s neck.

“Very well…we shall go together then.” The woman said, “What is your name chunnin?”

Slowly, Mizuki stood up and turned to face her, looking rather surprised when he met her eyes head on.

“Mizuki, Hyuuga-san.” He said with that same overly sweet smile he’d given Naruto earlier. “How strange to see one of your clan in this…part of town.”’

“This is a shortcut through the city, that is all. I am expected on the other side of Konoha—but that shall have to wait now.” The woman said with thin lips at the suggestion that she’d be in this seedy area for _fun_. 

“Hyuuga?” Naruto murmured, wondering where he’d heard the name before. Then he realized, “Oh! You related to Hinata-chan then? No wonder—you have weird eyes just like her…must be a family thing?”

Both chunnin and Hyuuga turned briefly to look at him, both of their faces saying they thought his statement ridiculous. Naruto got that look a lot when he asked questions…

“Yes, we are…related.” The woman said in response, then gave a short bow of greeting. She was very obvious in her need to keep her eye on Mizuki as she did so. “Hyuuga Himeko. Now, we should be on our way.”

 

—

 

“Is what Mizuki-san said true, Naruto-kun?” The Hokage said seriously, “Did the orphanage caretaker truly try to…kill you?”

Before him, Naruto nodded slowly, a frown on his face as he refused to look up from the ground. He looked so small and lost where he stood, a far cry from the ball of energy that had swept through his office just earlier that day.

“Did the man…say anything to you before Mizuki-san arrived?”

“…he…he wasn’t making much sense. He just kept saying he had to. He had to do it, or he didn’t know what would happen…and then he called me a demon...”

The Hokage heaved a sigh, glancing between the two other occupants of the room. Mizuki stood carefully out of arms reach of the jounin beside him, the twitch of his eyes telling of his weariness. The jounin herself kept a carefully curated mask of professionalism, but he could see in the angle of her body her suspicion of the chunnin.

The Hokage made eye contact with Hyuuga Himeko, asking subtly with a single look for her to corroborate the story. She hesitated but a second, and then nodded her head.

“This is…unfortunate news.” The Hokage settled on, rising from his desk with a frown, thoroughly troubled. “Has such a thing ever occurred before, Naruto-kun?”

Naruto shook his head sharply, and Hiruzen’s chest loosened just slightly. Although he found it highly disconcerting to see the boy so quiet.

“No…this was the first time anyone's ever…” Naruto trailed off, and Hiruzen’s eyes softened at how small his voice sounded.

“We must be thankful for your sensei’s quick arrival then…if he had come any later, this would’ve been more than just the first time—it would also have been the last.” The Hokage’s eyes glanced towards said teacher, “What a stroke of luck he was in the area.”

Mizuki’s lips twitched just slightly as he inclined his head, answering the subtle question. “Not luck, Hokage-sama. Circumstance.”

“Oh?”

“Yes…I had been actively looking for Naruto since he’d left the academy this morning, after finishing his cleaning duties.” Mizuki said, reaching into his vest to pull something small and rectangular from it. 

“It seems he’d left his book behind, and I thought to return it to him…although I hadn’t realized it was his until Iruka told me he’d been looking for it.”

“My book!” Naruto suddenly shouted in surprise, rushing over to grab the book from the teachers hands. Hiruzen squinted, eyebrows raising as he read the title.  _‘Why You Should Love Frogs and Toads: An Utterly Ribbiting Book by the Great Toad Sannin himself.’_

“I…I thought I’d lost it. I looked everywhere!” Naruto said, a smile stretching across his face as he looked up at Mizuki. “I can’t believe it…I take back every awful thing I ever said about you, Mizuki-sensei, you’re the best!”

“Uh…thanks kid, I guess.” Mizuki said, smile twitching.

“Circumstance may have lead you to Naruto, but it was still luck that you came when you did.”

The Hokage hummed to himself in thought, hand coming up to stroke his beard. “Thank you, Mizuki-san. You’ve done a great service today in protecting Naruto. I’ll be sure to have the mission desk compensate you accordingly—perhaps a week of paid leave?”

“Hokage-sama, there is no thanks necessary, I was only doing my duty as a Konoha shinobi.” Mizuki said, bowing. His voice seeped with false modesty—it was clear from the thinly veiled look on his face that he was soaking up the praise. “Although, I wouldn’t wish to insult you by turning down such a reward.”

Hiruzen smiled stiffly at the man, “Of course Mizuki-san, it will be done. You are dismissed.”

The silver haired man gave one more bow before leaving, and the Hokage didn’t miss how tense Himeko was as he passed her, nor did he miss how she resolutely did not follow him out. A clear sign that she wished to speak to him in private.

As for Naruto, he was seemingly engrossed in looking at his book with open relief, and the Hokage had to clear his throat to gain his attention once more.

“I must admit that this is my fault…I always insisted that the safest place for you, Naruto, was among your peers…but apparently I was wrong.”

Naruto turned to look at Hiruzen in confusion, and the Hokage couldn’t help but feel a stab of guilt for what he was about to do.

“It seems…that I will have to move you into a private apartment earlier than I’d planned.” He sighed, “I had hoped to wait until you’d graduated but, following such an attack, I feel I have no choice but to remove you from the orphanage for your own safety.”

“Wha—leave the orphanage?” Naruto cried, “But, Nakamura is—he’s _gone_ now, isn’t that enough? I don’t have to leave—I don’t _want_ to leave. Why do I have to go?”

“I told you Naruto-kun, it’s for your own safety. Clearly the civilians harbor more animosity towards you than I thought...”

“Why? _Why?”_ Naruto growled, “You never answer me! Why do I have to go, why am I in ‘danger’ more than everyone else? Why does everyone look at me like—like I’m some _demon?_ Why did Nakamura even—”

“I’m sorry Naruto-kun, but this is for the best.” The hokage interrupted, pressing his lips together tightly, “I’ll send someone to fetch your things shortly and—”

“No! You’re always doing that—avoiding answering, saying that it’s ‘for the best.’ Well it’s not for the best!” The shout echoed in the room as Naruto clutched his book to his chest. “I can’t go—what about Sakura-chan? She’ll be all alone there, just like I was!”

“Sakura-chan will see you at the academy, and she won’t be alone—there are plenty of other children at the orphanage.”

“It’s not…it’s not the same—!”

“Naruto!” Hiruzen interrupted, voice stern and no-nonsense, as it always was when Naruto became this way. “Your safety is not a topic up for discussion. I am your hokage, and this is my order—you _will_ be transferred to your own apartment and you _will_ leave the orphanage. I will hear no more on this matter.”

The hokage kept his eyes hard, even when the young boy’s eyes welled up with equal part hurt and defiance. In this instance he could not afford to be the boy’s ‘Oji-san.’ Sometimes…he had to put aside that moniker for the sake of his title as the hokage, even when it pained him to do so.

With a heavy heart, Hiruzen gestured over his shoulder, a few quick signs of Standard hidden from Naruto's sharp eye. Immediately, a figure emerged from the darkness, startling Naruto into yelping. He turned to find the ANBU member sans her Badger painted mask, just as he’d requested in hidden Standard—a masked shinobi would draw too much attention for what he needed her to do.

“Yugao-san, please take Naruto-kun here to this location. It’s an apartment I’ve had on standby in case of an emergency.” The hokage murmured as he took pen to paper to write down an address. “Before that however—take him to the orphanage to collect his things, and make sure he has the necessities for his new home.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” Yugao said, long purple hair swaying as she bowed her head in understanding. Then, swift as the wind, she appeared at Naruto’s side and placed a hand upon his shoulder. Before Naruto could do so much as blink, they both disappeared in a poof of smoke, leaving only Himeko standing before the hokage.

Interlacing his hands in front of him, the hokage briefly closed his eyes to gather himself. He always hated being so harsh with the boy, but sometimes it was necessary—it’d been the same with his mother, he remembered, they were both so…fiery. And stubborn.

“I suppose there’s a reason you’re still here, Himeko-san…” He narrowed his eyes at the Hyuuga woman, “Something to do with Mizuki perhaps?”

He saw her frown and shuffle where she stood, looking unusually unsure of herself.

“…I know it may seem paranoid but…something just seemed off about the situation. It all seemed so…perfect. Too prefect.” She murmured quietly, “And what the boy said—about Nakamura’s last words…I can’t help but wonder…”

The hokage thought on this for a moment, giving it the consideration all shinobi gut instincts deserved. And the words she spoke of, the words Nakamura had been repeating over and over according to Naruto, that he ‘had’ to do it…could also be seen as suspect in a way. Had the subject of the attack not been Naruto, Hiruzen may have suspected the caregiver was being coerced but…but it had been Naruto, and that changed things.

There were so many villagers who feared the boy for what he was, so many that could easily feel that they ‘had’ to treat the boy as they did. Perhaps the man had thought the same, that he ‘had’ to kill Naruto to stop him from unleashing the nine tailed fox upon them all once more…even if the truth was that doing so would do more to unleash it than anything else.

She had a point—it had certainly been a very lucky string of circumstances and timing…but Mizuki had always been a stalwart shinobi of Konoha, and the hokage had no real reason to believe he was anything more than that at the moment. Nakamura on the other hand…he would need to look into who he’d spoken to in the days past.

“I will take your thoughts into consideration, Himeko-san.”The shortness of his response was a clear dismissal of her worries, and he softened it with a small smile. 

“Perhaps you should take a break from the ANBU missions…” He suggested softly, only to see her flinch. “Too many in a short period of time can have one seeing enemies in every shadow—or in every comrade.”

Himeko took in a deep breath, looking slightly wounded, “Thank you for your concern, Hokage-sama, but I assure you I am still fit for duty.”

“I never suggested otherwise.” He said with a sigh, pressing sharply at the bridge of his nose. “Your clan head however…had much more to say on the subject than I this morning.”

Himeko stiffened, “Hiashi-sama…came here this morning?”

Hiruzen gave a slow nod in response, watching her carefully. “Indeed, he was quite insistent on meeting with me, despite it being so last minute, wishing to speak of your place in ANBU. Quite unusual—Hiashi-san is nothing if not respectful of scheduling…”

“I…I apologize, Hokage-sama.” Himeko’s smooth features pulled into a grimace, “It is entirely my fault for failing to convince him of my combat readiness when he realized I’d been reintegrated into ANBU…”

“Hmm…yes, as a clan head he has the right to voice his opinions on such a thing. What worries me is that his next topic of conversation was to ask after a young girl…who he was sure you had saved from certain death. He had quite a few questions about her...”

Himeko’s head flew up, eyes wide and ernest. “Hokage-sama…I told him nothing. Whatever conclusions he came to were his own.”

“Yes, I assumed as such, Hiashi-san is nothing if not well versed in drawing conclusions…but Himeko-san, do be more careful in the future?” 

The hokage rubbed a hand over his beard, thinking back on the interest clear in the Hyuuga clan heads eyes as he asked after the girl. It wasn’t overly troubling, the Hyuuga kept to themselves after all, and they were one of the few clans that had refused any support of ROOT while it was still active. They had never once allowed the integration of their own people into it, and thankfully Danzo had realized the danger in pushing that particular matter. 

But still, any interest in Sakura was bad interest in his opinion. Just the same as Naruto.

“I will be, Hokage-sama.” With a bow, Himeko sent him what he could only call ‘pleading’ eyes, ones that looked rather awkward on the serious woman. “And…my place in ANBU?”

“Well…I know your stance on the matter, and I know Hiashi-sans stance is quite opposite of it. Unfortunately, as hokage, I have a duty to maintain the peace within Konoha. Sometimes that means certain people will be unhappy with me…” Hiruzen gave a hum of thought as the woman in front of him flinched, and he couldn’t help but see Naruto’s glaring face forefront in his mind. He gave her a slight smile.

“I suppose…Hiashi-san will just have to be one of those people. After all…I can’t give up my best ANBU medic after I’ve only just regained her, now can I?”

Himeko looked up, her face slack with relief. “ _Thank you_ , Hokage-sama…”

Hiruzen waved off her thanks with a small smile. “Yes, yes...by the way, I'm putting you on guard duty tonight, with Wolf. I'll be expecting you at my residence then." 

Immediately he saw the woman's face subtly fall, covered quickly by polite indifference. He knew his suspicions were correct then, that if he hadn't put her on duty that night she would've undoubtedly took it upon herself to tail Mizuki and confirm or negate her suspicions of the man. It would be better for now to keep her occupied while he had someone less compromised look into the matter.

"Oh, before you go—do say hello to Sakura-chan for me when you see her, Himeko-san, and enjoy the cherry blossoms. I hear they’re beautiful this time of year.”

The hokage chuckled at the brief look of surprise on the woman’s face at his knowledge of her upcoming meeting with the young girl in Ueno park. His shinobi always seemed to forget that he had eyes everywhere—there was no planned meeting, no whispered conversation, no hushed encounter that he did not know of.

Or so he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few points: Sorry Sakura wasn't even in this one! Sakura will be waking up next chapter, and it's already written and ready to be posted next week, so don't worry! 
> 
> Another thing: a Kamidana is a real thing in Shintoism, you can look one up if you want to see what they look like. 'Shintoism' translates to 'the way of the spirits/kami' basically, but I've chosen not to use the actual word 'shintoism' in this fic, because it feels too official to me. 
> 
> I'm really excited to write about shinobi's relationship with the Kami...I tried hinting that only civilians really worship them anymore last chapter, when I mentioned Ino telling Sakura only civilians told their kids about spirits to make them mind them...I'll get into the history why later :) And yes, the Hyuuga will play a big role in explaining it all, since they are really the only ones left who believe in them, even if only for traditions sake. I always thought the Hyuuga didn't get enough attention in canon...which is why Himeko is getting a larger role (I know people don't like oc's usually...but she'd important to the plot. What do you all think of her?)
> 
> Also, I know, I know the 'villager attacks naruto' thing is so overused...but hopefully I put a slightly new twist on it with the (probably not very subtle lol) background stuff going on with Mizuki and Nakamura and Danzo...Also hope that you all enjoyed the sasuke and naruto interaction as much as I did - sasuke's opening up a bit! But only a bit. 
> 
> Okay, I'm done. Sorry about the long authors note, it's just been awhile and this is a monster of chapter that I had to cut in two AGAIN. Why am I like this?


	10. Betrayals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to get this out before my superbowl party but didn't quite succeed...so here it is, a bit later than I intended, but still here and on sunday! I'm really excited about this one, had a lot of fun writing it! Also, I would just like to thank all of you for your kudos and comments, they keep me going! I can't believe I'm over 500 kudos and nearly at 100k words!!

_"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart."_

\- St. Jerome

 

—

 

Cat watched carefully from his perch atop the roof as Sakura finally entered the orphanage, looking sullen and lost in thought. He watched the woman that had been accompanying her curiously, thinking the Hyuuga’s presence felt vaguely familiar to him although her face held no familiarity. However she left before he could grasp the feeling, and so he waved it away.

Instead, he deliberated his options for the night. Usually he had a second guard on duty with him, Badger, another ANBU from his squad that would remain vigilant to intruders within the house itself while Cat patrolled the border of the orphanage. But tonight he was alone in his guard duty, and the reason for that was likely the same as the reason little Sakura looked so upset.

Tonight, there was no jinchuuriki within the walls of the orphanage, there was no second target to protect, and so there was no second guard. Cat was there for Sakura alone, something that made him increasingly weary of being seen—not that he would be, he was a professional after all.

However…the danger was still there, that someone out there would notice his vigil and draw attention to why such a small insignificant place needed ANBU protection. On any other night the reason would be obvious to any shinobi who cared to think on it—but now the jinchuuriki was not within the orphanage, and so his cover for guarding it was gone.

With a decisive nod, Cat slunk in through a window in the kitchen and up into the space between the roof and drop ceiling. It was an old building, and so held small grates in the middle of the ceiling—a product of a time when fires and candles were the only source of heat and light, and so an opening was needed to allow the smoke out from said sources out of the room.

Cat situated himself over one such grate in the main room, admiring the interesting architecture of the roof and rafters for only a moment. He was on duty after all, and he couldn’t afford to lose himself to his interest in the building’s structure, the one built by Hashirama _himself_ for his wife and first lady. Cat wished dearly that he could visit the place in daylight, perhaps take a tour...he couldn’t help his avid fascination with the place, considering just who exactly had previously lived there, and his own tenuous connection to him. 

With narrow eyes and expanded senses, Cat watched as Sakura settled herself down upon her futon mechanically, face blank. Beside her a dark haired girl lay looking at her with worry, the one who often let Sakura in when she came home past curfew, and on her other side lay an empty space, the one usually occupied by Naruto.

Cat couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of worry himself to see the bright, intelligent girl so maudlin. He’d never seen her so completely unaware of her surroundings, so unaware in fact, that she’d not even noticed that the usual caregiver of the orphanage was nowhere to be found.

“Sakura-chan, did you hear about Nakamura-san?” Her friend had tried telling her, whispering as all the children began to bed down. “Apparently he ran away and got married! I don’t know _who_ would want to marry that grump, but at least we don’t have to deal with him anymore right?”

Sakura had nodded absently along as the girl had chatted away, but it was clear her attention was entirely in her own head. 

“Sakura-chan…are you listening to me?” 

Sakura nodded again, and her friend frowned, realizing what Cat had—that she was miles away. Her dark eyes drifted over to the empty spot usually occupied by Naruto and she sighed. She hadn’t asked Sakura where the blond haired boy was, so Cat could only assume that she and the other children had already been told that Naruto would not be coming back to the orphanage. 

“I guess I’ll tell you tomorrow…” The dark haired girl said, settling down, staring at Sakura’s back with furrowed brows. 

She looked a little hurt to Cat, but he could only see so much from the darkness of his perch. Feeling vaguely guilty for listening in on their conversation, Cat slinked away from the grate, doing a quick round about the perimeter with his senses fully extended.

The rest of the night was quiet and peaceful, and yet Cat couldn’t help but feel on edge. It was nearly morning, but the sky was still pitch dark. The twilight hour was fast approaching, but no animal nor man stirred in the immediate area.

It was still and quiet—too quiet.

It took but a moment to recognize the genjutsu and break it, and immediately Cat felt his hackled rise as sound rushed back in. The silencing illusion had covered an incredible amount of ground, a feat that spoke of an expert genjutsu caster…and Cat had a sudden gut feeling he knew who it was.

Quickly he made a clone, sending it to do a perimeter check with the usual instructions. It wasn’t long before his fears were confirmed—the clone dispersed of it’s own volition, sending back it’s memories with it. The mask those memories showed had Cat’s lips thinning.

Rooster.

He’d thought for sure the man was dead. He’d been a ROOT agent, one of the few that had refused to be conscripted into ANBU with the organizations dismissal…and Cat had been the one to take him down when he’d went rogue.

He’d seen his dead body himself, had struck the killing blow…was this some imposter? Or had he been foolish enough to fall for an illusion all that time ago?

Cat had no answers, not yet…but he planned to get them.

Hands quickly forming the seals for another wood clone, Cat told the clone in rapid fire Standard to head directly to hokage and report. He’d need back up, preferably from his own ANBU squad. Who knew what this rogue agent wanted, or if he was even truly alone? 

Settling in a corner of the main room's rafters, Cat sat in wait, focusing on utter silence and stillness. He’d always been quite good at bending the shadows around himself, even if not in the literal sense of the Nara. He waited, knowing Rooster—or whoever held his mask—would soon come.

He didn’t have to wait long before a dark figure appeared below, and Cat realized his worst fears had been realized—he was there for Sakura, he must have found out about her seal—for why else would he want to take her? But how? How had they, Rooster or ROOT or whoever he worked for, found out about her seal? They’d been so careful…

Through a grate Cat watched, knowing he couldn’t attack the man in the main room. There were too many children, too many innocents that could get hurt. As much as it pained him to admit it, he’d have to wait until Rooster had taken his target and left before he intervened.

Quick and silent as a shadow, Rooster slipped between the futons and it’s snoring occupants. Cat tensed and leaned forward on his toes, readying himself as the man drew up to Sakura’s futon—

—and immediately passed it without a single glance.

Sitting back on his heels in confusion, Cat watched wearily as the shinobi finally came to a stop besides the sleeping figure of a young boy. The ANBU agent didn’t recognize him at all, only knew he was another academy student and perhaps a year older than Sakura was.

Rooster nudged the boy, whose eyes immediately shot open in shock. He looked startled when he looked up and saw the white mask of Rooster…but he didn’t cry out in fear as Cat would’ve expected. Instead, he nodded, and then stood up to follow him out of the room.

Cat slid a kunai out of his holster, off balance at the turn of events but intensely aware he couldn’t let Rooster leave the orphanage with the boy, willing or not.

The pair swiftly left and headed out the back door and into the kitchen. Cat followed them, walking carefully along the wooden beams of the ceiling, unimpeded by doors or walls or any kind. The boy stopped them at the door as they were about to leave, and Rooster turned to look back at him sharply.

Cat tensed, ready to pounce, but held himself back as the boy spoke.

“I…” The boy said, taking a step back.

“Having second thoughts, boy?” The low voice said, and Cat tensed at the familiarity of it. There was no doubt anymore that the man was indeed the Rooster he’d thought to be dead.

“Well, I-I don’t know…are you sure I have to leave?” The boy said, looking frantically around in obvious nervousness. 

“Don’t you want to get strong?” Rooster said with a tilt of his head, “Don’t you want to show that Hyuuga that a clan name doesn’t matter? Don’t you want to show him that you’re better than him? Little nobody civilian that you are, with no special eyes or special name…if only they’d given you a chance…well I’m giving you that chance, aren’t I?”

The boy nodded, still looking unsure. “Y-yeah but…I didn’t think I’d have to leave. I think I…I want to stay, I want to get strong here—”

Tears started filling his eyes, and he took another step back. Rooster tilted his head with a chuckle.

“Well now…that just won’t do.” Lightning quick, Rooster appeared behind the boy and jabbed him right behind the head. “We’re running out of time, little boy, and anyways…you’re cooperation was never necessary.”

And then, the boy dropped, eyes glazing over as he fell into unconsciousness. Rooster didn’t catch the boy, letting him drop to the floor with a scoff and so, muscles tensing, Cat took his chance.

The paper thin wood that made up the drop ceiling caved around Cat like silk as he plummeted through it. Rooster’s head snapped up, a kunai already in his hand to block Cat’s attack. Although his expression was covered, Cat could tell that the shinobi had clearly been caught off guard by the startled step back. He hadn't expected him to be there…and suddenly Cat knew why that was.

They’d known. Whoever was behind this kidnapping—perhaps Danzo, perhaps a rogue power—they’d known that the jinchuuriki wasn’t at the orphanage and so hadn’t expected any guards to be there. Cat had just been worrying about blowing his cover earlier that night…and now it seemed those worries were justified. An ANBU guarding an orphanage with no Jinchuuriki—it wouldn’t take them long to realized just who he _was_ guarding, and why.

He needed to make sure the job was done right this time. He needed to make sure Rooster never saw another dawn, lest he crow to his master what he’d seen here. 

—and he would have, that is, if the door to the kitchen hadn’t opened just minutes into their fight. 

Both Cat and Rooster swung to look at the door in shock, both so intently focused on their battle that they hadn’t sensed the small chakra signature approaching the kitchen.

Horror fills him as Cat sees the figure that stands in the shadow of the doorway, the tiny wide eyed figure of the very girl he’s supposed to be protecting. She was only just eight years old—how had she noticed Rooster’s silencing genjutsu? How had she _broken_ it?

A moment of stillness, of shock, and then the battle begins anew. Cat jumps into the fray, intent now not on killing Rooster but rather on protecting Sakura. He just needed to buy time, time until his backup arrived.

 

—

 

Cat doesn’t know what happened, he doesn’t even quite believe his eyes really. He thought at first it was an illusion—after all, he remembered Rooster as being one of the most capable genjutsu masters in ROOT. All those little illusions during their battle had only made that all the more clear, all the tiny tricks of light and depth perception that were so difficult to notice until it was too late. Cat had been so sure that this was just another genjutsu intended to trick him and distract him…but then…

No matter what he’d tried, it hadn’t broken, and in fact…Rooster himself had seemed shocked when it had happened. 

They’d been engaged in a fierce back in forth battle of ninjutsu and taijutsu for what felt like hours but was, in reality, but moments. Sakura had swiftly hidden in the kitchen with the unconscious boy while Cat distracted Rooster—but it was only a matter of time before the man snuck under Cat’s guard. 

He could see it so clearly in his mind as he sent a kick flying towards Rooster’s head, and yet he couldn't make sense of it. The two children, huddled up against a cabinet, Sakura gripping the unconscious boy to her with bloodied hands, her eyes closed tight with fear. Rooster had found them, and Cat had followed, attacking from behind to force his attention away from the children.

Cat’s eyes had only flickered briefly over Rooster’s shoulder, who was struggling to keep the razor sharp edge of his kunai from his throat, but it was at that exact moment that it happened.

One second Sakura and the boy were there…and the next…they were gone.

Just…gone. Disappeared without even a puff of smoke behind, their chakra signatures nonexistent.

Pulling away, Cat’s hands came together in a seal of release. “Kai!”

Nothing. The space where they’d been was still horribly empty. 

“What is this? What did you do?” Cat cried out as he jumped towards Rooster—who was staring at the empty space just the same as he was. Cat doubled down on his attacks, sending a beam of wood shooting towards him, but Rooster of course didn’t respond. He hadn’t expected him too, but in his confusion he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

Suddenly, a shadow appeared behind his enemy, and Cat pressed him back towards it with his wood release attacks. With a duck and a flip to the side, Rooster slipped under Cats attack, but couldn’t entirely avoid the one from the newly arrived backup. He slid to a stop clutching the gaping wound in his side, a seeping cut in his side caused by the sharp edge of a tanto.

“Took you long enough, taicho.” Cat mumbled, sidling up to the newly arrived ANBU member, the captain of his squad. The red of his Sharingan could just be seen through the small eye hole of his mask—a result of Cat’s report that their enemy may be a genjutsu master.

‘Where’s Bat?’ Cat signed to the man quickly, reverting to standard as they both jumped backwards away from a volley of shuriken sent at them.

‘Looking into something for Hokage-sama.’ Wolf signed and Cat nodded, despite the worry that brought him. Backup teams were always sent in pairs, which meant, if Bat wasn’t coming, that the hokage must have sent Hare with his captain. He was the only other member of their squad that was available, as Badger was guarding the jinchuuriki in an unknown location. 

Hare was newer to the squad than even Bat, and was quiet and quick, but notoriously skittish from his time in ROOT. He’d been added to their team under the _guise_ of working with Cat, who had also once been ROOT and could sympathize with any struggles he had adapting to ANBU, but the truth was darker than that.

Would Hare break? Would he show his hand to be loyal—not to the hokage, but to a disbanded organization and it’s deadly ideals?

“…I thought you killed this guy already?” His captain drawled, hands too full now with kunai and his tanto to sign. The man cocked his head as he cornered their panting enemy with a flurry of kunai aimed at his injured left leg.

_So did I_ , Cat thought with a frown, _But that’s not the worst of the problem._

Before he could say anything more, a second figure sprung through the wood and washi paper of the wall behind Rooster, a shining blade aimed right for the mans throat. Immediately Cat was there blocking the blade of the second member of his ANBU backup, the shinobi with a mask of a hare backing off.

“We need him alive for interrogation!” Cat admonished, as he turned his squamates tanto aside, “Two missing targets, possible hostage situation!”

Before he could say any more Rooster turned and made a break for it through the window. Wolf quickly following suit, with both Hare and Cat were close behind. Cat sprung across the rooftops as fast as he could until he was in step with his captain.

‘What happened.’ Wolf signed briskly in Standard as they gave chase. His eyes were firmly on the target, who was heading towards the mountainous forest that lead up to the base of the hokage mountain. ‘Where’s the girl? Who’s the second target?’

‘He came for a boy—one of the other residents of the orphanage.’ Cat signed quickly, ‘Both of them disappeared while we were fighting, some kind of…genjutsu I think.’

Wolf looked sharply towards him, ‘There was no genjutsu in that room, Cat.’

Cat frowned, knowing that, with the sharingan, his captain would know if there were any sort of illusion hiding the children but…if not an illusion then…

‘Go back.” Wolf signed harshly. ‘Now. Hare and I will handle this. You shouldn’t have abandoned your post—find the kids. They must still be there somewhere.’

Chastened, Cat gave a firm nod and pivoted sharply, Hare speeding past him. Of course, he knew he shouldn’t have left, but he’d been so sure there was some illusion at play that had hid the fact that Rooster had taken the children…where else could they be if not taken by the rogue shinobi?

 

—

 

Sliding to a stop atop the roof of the orphanage, Cat cast out his senses once more. He was no sensor-nin, but all ANBU had at least _some_ ability to feel out chakra signatures nearby whether through natural talent or extensive training.

The extent of his senses were barely a hundred meters, and he’d likely never increase that number, but it was enough to encompass the house on which he stood and a bit of the orphanage courtyard. He felt all of the tiny signatures of the children sleeping unawares, the slightly bigger signatures of the civilian caregiver they’d sent totemporarily replace Nakamura, but no one else. It seemed that Rooster didn’t have his own backup coming to help him…unless his back up was Hare that is.

Cat hated the idea of one of their own squad betraying them, but truly he wouldn’t be surprised. He knew just how well ROOT conditioned their members to be loyal. But, that wasn’t his mission, his mission was to find and protect the two children…even if Hare did turn on his captain, there was nothing he could do about it.

Cat looked down suddenly in surprise. He’d been guarding the orphanage now for months, ever since Sakura first entered it, not to mention the time he spent with her during the day as Yamato. Although she didn’t know it, the only time he wasn’t with her was while he slept and trained during her academy classes…and a few times where he'd been replaced to go on essential missions. But, the fact was, that all that time had made him acutely aware of what her chakra signature felt like.

And that chakra signature had just appeared out of nowhere, just as quickly as it had disappeared in the orphanage before. Sharply, Cat’s looked down into the courtyard below him in disbelief.

There, on the ground, where once there was nothing, now there was Sakura.

Cat immediately jumped from the roof and rushed over, but as soon as he came within touching distance, he flinched back from her. She sat there, shaking, her eyes wide and blank, looking down at her hands…which were covered in sprawling chains of black symbols, symbols which seemed to be very much _alive_. They crawled up from her hands into her sleeves, up her arms and neck, pulsating and wriggling and stemming from one place—her ring finger.

“Sakura.” Cat called out to her firmly, hesitant to touch her but reaching out anyways. He kneeled down so he was at eye level with her, and that was where he made his biggest mistake.

Sakura looked up at the sound of his voice—and then she screamed.

Of course...it wasn’t much of a scream, considering her issues, but it was certainly enough to be heard, and that _was_ an issue. Her cries were awful hoarse things that broke on every up note, and they were distinct in their sheer panic even as raspy and quiet as they were. They were not the sort of noises to be dismissed as anything else but someone in trouble—and the last thing they needed was nosey civilians coming out to ‘help’ and seeing the girl in the state she was. 

“Sakura—you need to calm down!” Cat whispered as quietly as he could, hands finally reaching out to grasp her shoulders, if only so she didn’t run from him.

Her eyes were filled with the blank feverish panic that Cat had only seen on the faces of shinobi deep in shock. Her eyes stared up into Cat’s masked face with something worse than fear—it was utter terror. 

“N—no…G-ge’ awa-ay…get!” The girl squirmed in her hold, the dark symbols seeming to pulse along her arms, receding downwards until they disappeared entirely. She looked down at her hand with sudden gasping fear, struggling to free her arms from Cat’s grasp. 

When at last she succeeded for just a moment, the first thing she did was rip something—a ring—from her finger and fling it as far from her as possible. Cat noted where she threw it on instinct, knowing he’d have to retrieve it later. 

As the girl flailed at him, Cat realized something—she was trying to claw at his mask, trying to…get it off.

The mask. Of course…a man in a mask that killed her mother and tried to kill her…of course she’d be terrified of them.

He knew what he needed to do…but still his hands hesitated for a moment. It went against every protocol there was to remove a mask while on duty, but…if there was one thing that his captain had taught him over the years, it was that some rules were meant to be broken.

The mask fell to the ground silently, and the cool springtime breeze hit his unadorned face. He felt more vulnerable in that moment than he thought he would.

“Sakura.” Cat said with relief as Sakura’s eyes cleared and focused on his face at last. Immediately her flailing and moaning stopped, and her hands fell slack.

“Yam-ato…sensei…” With a sniffle the girl broke down, her voice shredded and painful in it’s attempts to make sound—it seemed that all she’d been through had made her forget all the signs he’d taught her over the past months. She fell against him, arms slinging around his neck and clutching at him like a lifeline.

Carefully, as if afraid to break her, the ANBU agent’s own arms came up around the girl. Yamato’s arms—for he wasn’t Cat to her, couldn’t ever by Cat to her when she had only ever known him as Yamato-sensei.

It was a nice thought, for some reason, to have someone who only knew him as one person, by one name…it gave it more weight, somehow, than the many other names he’d so casually worn over the years. Kinoe…Tenzou…Cat…and now Yamato. _Yamato-sensei_.

He knew he should go. He saw the lights come on in the building across the courtyard, heard the stirring of it’s residents as they woke. But, just for a moment, he stayed just exactly where he was and wondered at the little girl holding on to him like he was her salvation. The little girl who had been comforted by something as simple as _his_ face.

The moment was broken when the girl suddenly slumped against his shoulder. When Yamato pulled the girl gently back from him he was surprised and alarmed to see her eyes still open, but frighteningly blank. It was as if she was in some kind of waking dream.

Yamato held her close to him as he slotted the mask back in place and retrieved the ring she’d thrown earlier. Jumping up onto one of the roofs, he realized he wouldn’t have time to look further for the missing boy—people were waking, and Sakura obviously needed help…and anyway, it was obvious now—wherever the boy was, it wasn’t here.

 

—

 

Yamato scaled the back wall of the large estate, the one that had been designated for the sitting hokage when Konoha was first formed. He entered, as all ANBU usually did, through a back window that immediately set off an alarm to alert the hokage. He quickly spiked his chakra in the ‘friendly’ code, the one which was changed every week, and the alarm was dismissed. 

Yamato had sensed the chakra signatures that were already in the room, although he had only recognized one of them—that of Bat, a squamate and their team medic. However…he hadn’t expected the second chakra signature to be an academy taijutsu teacher, hog tied and passed out on the floor.

He pushed Sakura’s head firmly into his shoulder to keep her from seeing his squamates mask in the darkness of the room, and then turned towards Bat.

“This is what you were looking into for the hokage?” He asked quietly, gesturing curiously towards the prone figure. “Seems a bit excessive for a chuunin…”

“I apologize for my overzealousness…but nothing is too excessive for a traitor.” 

Yamato’s brows rose from behind his mask in surprise. He’d never liked the man, Mizuki he thought his name was. In the few short interactions he’d had with him at the academy it’d been clear he was a jealous man who envied any who gained more strength or praise than him—and he was, in Yamato’s opinion anyways, terrible at hiding it. However…he’d never thought of the man as a _traitor,_ and he voiced as such.

“…Why do you think ROOT attacked tonight, of all nights?” She said, likely sensing his shock. “On a night when Naruto had just left, and with him, his guard?”

Yamato looked down at the man hogtied on the floor with dawning realization. He’d known before going on duty that night that he’d be guarding the orphanage alone, and he’d known it was because Naruto was transferred to his own private apartment…but to most, such information would not be known. Not unless someone had told them.

“He was there then? During the incident?”

“Worse.” She said softly. “It only took two broken fingers before he admitted to helping orchestrate the incident itself, on a ROOT agent’s orders.”

Reflexively, Yamato’s grip on Sakura tightened at the words, although he wasn’t sure why. He’d never been the best at recognizing emotions when they were his own, but he knew enough to realize what he was feeling was sheer rage. 

“He admitted it? So easily?” The voice of the hokage sounded from behind them. “I hadn’t expected him to break so easily…I had thought we trained out shinobi better than that—even if they are only chuunin.”

Bat bowed deeply to the man as he strode into the room, but Yamato—Cat—only nodded, not wishing to disrupt the girl in his arms.

Seeing said girl, the hokage suddenly hummed before turning and exiting the room, leaving both the ANBU members to look at each other in confusion. It was short lived, however, as he soon returned, with an elderly woman in tow.

Miyu was a woman who had aged with grace, and whose lined face was a map of as many smiles as worried frowns. On this night, it was the worried frown that won out, and she gasped in dismay upon seeing the little girl held firmly in Yamato’s arms.

Immediately she hurried over, holding out her arms to take the girl but, when Yamato inexplicably hesitated, Miyu gave him a gentle smile.

“Now, don’t you worry, I’ll just take the girl to somewhere warm and comfortable.” She said, patting the Yamato on his arm so casually he didn’t even have time to flinch. 

Finally, with a nod and a respectful half bow to the hokage's trusted maid, the ANBU agent transferred the limp girl into the old woman’s arms. Miyu immediately shuffled out with the girl, whose eyes were still glazed and distant where they peeked over her shoulder. Both ANBU agent’s followed them out with sharp eyes, only turning to the hokage when the door shut.

Yamato— _no, Cat_ , he reminded himself—stepped forward, updating the hokage on the situation. He could feel Bat’s pupil less gaze heavy upon him as he outlined the nights events in meticulous detail, as was his way.

As he finished, the hokage took a long moment to think on his words before speaking.

“He was after a boy, you say? Not Sakura?” The hokage hummed in thought. “—and you’re certain the boy couldn’t be found?”

Cat looked to the side with a small sigh. “Yes, Hokage-sama…he was nowhere in the orphanage that I saw.”

“And what you saw…was the children both disappearing, and then reappearing from thin air?”

“…Yes. But only Sakura reappeared.” 

The hokage looked troubled at his response. Cat took that moment to reach into his pocket, pulling out the ring Sakura had thrown from her finger. He held it out to the hokage, who took it with a deep frown and a sigh. It was obvious from the way he only briefly glanced at it that the man had seen it before.

“I see…and Wolf and Hare are still tailing this ‘Rooster,’ leaving us further in the dark. Until then, the only extra source of information we have…is Sakura-chan.” 

There was heavy implication in the words, and Cat saw Bat tense from her place near the unconscious Mizuki.

“You intend to interrogate her? So soon?” Cat looked over to see Bat’s hands wringing behind her back, her face placid but her shoulders tense. Cat couldn’t help but agree with her obvious worries, although using the word ‘interrogate’ may be a bit much.

“She was near hysterical when I found her…and even now, she’s in no shape to answer questions…” Cat said, siding with Bat.

“A boy is missing, taken within the very walls meant to protect him, by agents who should no longer exist, to who knows where—and Sakura-chan is the only one who may know where that is. We do not have the luxury of letting the girl recover, as terrible a thought as that may be.” The hokage said, but then gave a deep sigh as his expression turned thoughtful. 

“But, perhaps you’re right. Perhaps…it would be best if we have someone here with a finer touch at questioning than I…Cat.” Straightening, Cat met the hokage’s eyes sharply. “Send for Yamanaka-san.”

“Hokaga-sama—!”

A hand was quickly held up by said man to stop Bat’s exclamation—an exclamation that surprised Cat, as he’d never known his squamate to question their orders. 

“I know what you’re thinking—Yamanaka-san will not be entering the girls mind without her permission unless _absolutely_ _necessary._ ” The hokage said, “Sakura knows Yamanaka-san, and his familiarity combined with his understanding of the mind make him the perfect person to bring into this situation. Bring him.”

 

—

 

Miles away, on the outskirts of Konoha, the beasts of Hashirama’s woods stirred at a peculiar disturbance among the trees. It was still dim beneath it’s canopy, with the thick leaves blocking the dawns early light from reaching the forrest floor. The clang of metal sounded, the limbs of trees fell to the forrest floor as they were sliced clean through, and through it all was the zipping of shinobi movement—so fast the naked, untrained eye could not keep up.

Wolf was among those shinobi, of which there numbered three in total. Hare was behind him, and their target was just ahead. They hadn’t attacked directly as they made their way through the city, Wolf had made sure that the enemy was kept at a distance just far enough to keep track of, but just far enough that he couldn’t do any damage. He didn’t want any attention brought to them, nor did he want to deal with any friendly fire damage to the village—something that was quite easy to do within the village's dense residential and commercial districts. 

No. It was better to let the ROOT agent make his way to Konoha's outskirts, likely where he thought it would be easier to make a get away, and then start an all out attack there.

‘Earth, formation two.’ Wolf signed towards Hare, who nodded sharply. It was one of several pre-created formations that he’d trained his ANBU squad in, and Hare knew from those few words what to do once the fight started.

‘Remember—I only have the one seal. We get one chance at this.’ Wolf signed, right before they caught up to their target and the battle began.

That ‘one seal’ of which Wolf spoke was something he’d only recently devised…it would absorb chakra, not in a specific quantity, but rather proportionally to the target’s chakra reserves. And, most importantly, it did it all at once.

It was an improvement on the present chakra draining seal, used by the Konoha intelligence devision, which was large and unwieldy and much too difficult to use in battle. It was usually only used to hold prisoners, set up in jail cells to continuously drain captives of their chakra to keep them at low levels.

He’d never have been able to create the condensed version if not for the seal upon Sakura’s forehead, the one that he’d been called in to look at all those months ago. He’d learned so much from the thing…it’s mystery—and the hokage’s orders—had forced him to overcome the aversion to sealing he’d developed after his sensei’s death and examine the seal down to it’s basest parts. Of course, he hadn’t been able to understand it _all_ …but what he could understand, the chakra draining part of it, had piqued his interest—an interest he hadn’t had for quite a long time...not since he'd created his Chidori. 

That interest had lead the seal he now carried in his back pouch…one he was sure would turn the tide of all retrieval missions should it work today. But, despite the seals potential, it still required days to create and quite a bit of concentration to activate, which meant he only had one of them and he’d need time to use it. Time that he was relying on Hare to give him.

With a perfectly timed body replacement jutsu, Wolf avoided an attempted beheading by Rooster. Hare immediately jumped in to attack the shinobi, distracting him while Wolf went on the defensive—putting 'Earth formation two' into action.

He used Hare’s distraction to create a shadow clone and then burrow into the ground, waiting some ways away in hiding while his clone joined Hare in a sudden volley of attacks. The clone and his squamate pushed Rooster towards Wolf’s hiding spot, seamlessly executing the plan despite having only ever deployed the formation once before.

As Wolf’s clone dispelled, he was hit with a backlash of memories from the brief fight. The way Rooster was engaging them was telling the ANBU captain more than he thought it would.  For one thing, ROOT agent was a known genjutsu master…and yet he had yet to cast a single illusion of either of his attackers. That must mean that he knew exactly who Wolf was…after all, such genjutsu could easily be broken by a sharingan—and copy-nin Kakashi was one of the few left with said kekkei genkei. 

The fact he knew who he was wasn’t overly surprising…Danzo had known his alias in ANBU for some time, having tried in the past to coerce him into ROOT while it was still operating. It was likely that he’d told his agents his identity as well, in case they ever made contact with him.

However…what concerned him was that Rooster wasn’t using genjutsu on Hare either. Wolf could break others out of genjutsu if he needed to but it wouldn’t be instantaneous…the ROOT operative could easily use an illusion to get an opening on Hare…but he hadn’t.

Which could only mean one thing…

Bursting from the ground, Wolf made a grab for Rooster’s ankles while Hare distracted the man with a flash bob. He succeeded, burying the man quickly and easily into the earth, and then ripping the enemy’s mask off lightning quick. He grabbed his tanto and shoved the hilt of it into the man’s mouth then, w ith a jerk of Wolf’s hand, the tanto’s hilt pried the enemy’s mouth wide open—keeping him from chomping down on the fake tooth all ROOT operatives kept within their mouth...the suicide pill. This wasn’t Wolf’s first time dealing with ROOT after all…he knew exactly how far their loyalty to their master went.

Rooster choked, wide eyes wild in his face. He was trapped—a genjutsu master with no other skill set was no match against someone who could see through and break mostgenjutsu instantly after all. Wolf swiped his chakra draining seal from the pouch at his waist, and then flashed through a few seals one handed, slamming the seal down on the mans forehead. Within moments, Rooster’s eyes stilled, then rolled into the back of his head as he passed out from the sudden seal induced chakra exhaustion.

It took only a minute to activate and take effect, but a minute was a long time in the middle of a fight. But Wolf had subdued his enemy and he had Hare, a squamate who he trusted to watch his back—a trust which ended up being Wolf’s biggest mistake.

On the blade of the tanto still held in the ROOT agent’s mouth, there was a flash of movement. It was the only warning Wolf received before a burning pain erupted from his chest. He looked down to see it—a blade plunged into his heart. When the captain looked back, gasping and slumping over, he saw just who was on the other end of the blade.

Hare.

 

—

 

Hiruzen had just dismissed the maid from the room where the girl was sleeping when Yamanaka Inoichi arrived.

He’d come as soon as he was called, and had quickly been filled in to the situation by Cat along the way—although there was no mention of Sakura’s mysterious forehead seal. The less people that knew of it the better, and as far as the hokage knew it had nothing to do with this situation—only the girls family ring seemed to be involved, of which the clan head _had_ been informed of.

Bat, as a medic, had been requested to enter with them and tend to girls hand, a cut sustained during the attack that had mostly scabbed over by now. She’d taken her mask off before entering and shed her alias, becoming Himeko once more. It was, surprisingly enough, only done upon Cat’s recommendation, an act that Inoichi had vigorously supported after hearing how the girl had reacted to the ANBU’s mask before. 

The straightening of Cat’s spine when he’d seen the face behind the mask of his squamate had clearly shown his surprise, even despite his expression being covered. The hokage had a feeling it was the pupils Hyuuga clan eyes that had thrown him.

Cat stayed outside the room to both guard the door and their captured chuunin traitor. Inoichi had insisted there not be too many people in the room should she wake and be overwhelmed, so Cat was requested to stay outside. He’d seemed rather reluctant to do so, which had make the hokage crack a brief smile, but had, in the end, gone without complaint—as was his way with orders.

Inoichi approached the bed and knelt down beside it, but it was Himeko who, after quickly healing her cut hand, used a chakra coated press of her fingers to try and wake Sakura from her fugue.

Hiruzen watched from a distance as the Hyuuga woman worked, brows furrowed when she frowned. The chakra assisted wake up seemed to be failing, and so she then tried calling out the girls name and shaking her shoulder, even patting her face to try and get her attention. Inoichi did nothing other than stare directly into Sakura’s open eyes, which were still just as blank and distant as they had been when she’d arrived in Cat’s arms at the hokage’s residence. 

Hiruzen sighed, looking to the far side of the room. Pale light peaked through the gap of the window’s curtains—it was dawn, and yet still his ANBU agents had yet to return with any news. 

They were running out of time. 

“You will not be able to wake her, Hyuuga-san…I’ve seen this before." Inoichi said, meeting Hiruzen’s eyes gravely. "I t is an issue with the mind, not the body. She will not ‘wake’ until she wishes to.”

The hokage gave an unhappy hum at that as Inoichi continued.

“Given what she’s been through tonight—not even counting what could have possibly happened while she was missing—it wouldn’t be unusual for a mind to shutter itself off from the waking world to protect itself. It’s likely she’ll wake up on her own, but it may take some time—a day, some good sleep, and she’ll come back to herself.”

“Time we do not have…” The hokage said lowly, “You know just how essential expediency is in a case such as this…who knows where that boy is, what they wanted with him…”

_Or if he’s even alive._

It was a thought every occupant of the room had at that moment, as terrible as it was. The hokage himself knew the likelihood of finding the boy was slim to none, but he had to try—if not for the sake of the boy, then for the sake of finding out why this rogue shinobi had wanted him, and where he’d been taking him.

After all, this was ROOT that they were dealing with—or worse, a new organization with a new name but the same people…whoever was behind this, it they hadn’t known before, they certainly knew now that there was more to Sakura than met the eye.

They needed to find the root of this thing, and rip it out before it could grow any deeper.

“The longer we wait, the colder the trail gets…” Hiruzen trailed off and met Inoichi’s eyes squarely, his mouth a thin, grim, line. He could tell by the set of the man’s jaw that he knew what Hiruzen intended for him to do.

“Stepping into another's mind…it’s not something to be done lightly, Hokage-sama.” The Yamanaka started, causing Himeko beside him to breath in sharply.

“Is there a danger to the girls mind in entering it?” The hokage asked.

“…no. Not as long as I leave should her mind try to reject me, which of course I will.” Inoichi said hesitantly, “But the invasion of privacy is…”

“I know.” Hiruzen said with a deep frown. “But, in this situation, we cannot afford to wait another day. We must speak to the girl now, we _must_ know what happened, before it’s too late.”

Inoichi looked down with a pained grimace, and across form him Himeko was glaring rather spectacularly down at the bed sheets. Hiruzen knew that she disagreed with what he was asking the Yamanaka to do, but she held her tongue in the end. Perhaps it was his authority, or her position in ANBU, or perhaps she knew as he did that it was a necessary—if not easy—decision to make.

“Yes…I understand.” Inoichi sighed, looking briefly pained. 

He reached out to place his large hand on the girls head, took a deep breath, and then closed his eyes.

 

—

 

The inside of Sakura’s mind was…not what Inoichi had expected.

It was bright, and full of light, but there was no substance to it. Often peoples minds, especially children’s, took a physical form—a hallway with doors, a library with bookcases, a dungeon in the sewers…but Sakura’s…it was just a plane of nothing.

Immediately, Inoichi knew something was off, and that fear was compounded at what happened when he took a single step forward. Like a fracture on a frozen lake, spiderwebs of light flashed out from beneath his foot, and Inoichi immediately froze where he stood.

Slowly, the light faded away, but the Yamanaka couldn’t help but feel that what he’d just seen was an alarm system. To see such a thing in one so young was…unusual to say the least. He’d only ever seen such a thing in child soldiers sent by enemy villages to spy on Konoha—not that he was suspecting that of Sakura of course.

They always seemed to think that because of Konoha’s higher age limit of graduation that they were ‘softer’ somehow on children, and so they sent their own children to spy and murder, in the hopes they’d be less likely to be discovered…and that Konoha’s shinobi would hesitate to murder a child should they face one in battle.

To an extent, that assumption was true…but oh, how Inoichi wished he didn’t need to enter the minds of those children and rip apart their barriers to get to their information. In a way, it was a crueler fate than just killing them.

“Sakura-chan?” He called out, hesitant to walk further into the unknown of the girls strange mind. “I’m not here to hurt you, Sakura-chan, I’m here to help. I just want to talk to you—could you come out? Please?”

He walked further in when no response came, watching the spiderwebs beneath his feet burst and then fade with every step. In the distance he could hear a faint clinking sound, and he moved towards it.

As he approached, he realized what the noises he was hearing sounded like—chains. The clinking of chains moving and knocking against one another. He frowned, walking faster as he caught sight of the fuzzy outline of a pink head in the distance.

“Sakura?” He called out, dropping the suffix. The figure became clearer the closer he came, and so did the sound of clinking chains. When he reached her…he realized why. Sakura herself was wrapped in them—her legs and chest completely bound by thick metal chains, with it’s end stretching out into the nothingness.

“By the Sage…” He murmured in horror. Approaching carefully, Inoichi called out once more to the girl's back hesitantly. “…Sakura?”

She didn’t acknowledge his voice, and so he reached out for her shoulder. She had her back to him, and so he moved to turn her to face him—

—but as soon as he touched her, he knew he’d made a mistake.

She turned under his hand, but it was not Sakura’s face that looked at him—instead, a smooth featureless lump of flesh was in it’s place, a faceless face, a horrifying blank nothing. All that remained were the the two small circles that sat where her forehead should be...the rest was an awful featureless canvas.

With a startled cry, Inoichi released his hand from it’s shoulder and stumbled back from the thing. The chains around the thing shifted, moving as if by it's own control, and then the one that stretched out into the nothingness around them seemed to be suddenly pulled taught. 

Before he could do more than blink, a wave shuddered through the blank whiteness around him, warping the space in confusing ways and playing tricks on Inoichi’s sense of up and down. When at last the world righted itself, the Yamanaka found himself on his knees, gasping and blinking rapidly as he tried to regain his bearings.

Inoichi focused on his hands, which were pressed down flat to what appeared to be damp earth. When he pulled his hand away, he realized just what it was damp with—blood.

The sound of quiet sobbing pulled his attention up from the ground, and it was then that he saw Sakura’s figure in front of him—this time with no chains in sight. She was curled in on herself, her back to him same as before, her shoulders shaking with sobs. 

But was it really Sakura…or something else?

More carefully than before, Inoichi approached her, taking in the surroundings that had sprung from nothing. It was the Uchiha compound and, while he felt much more comfortable in this setting than he had in the strange nothingness of before, he couldn’t help but feel saddened that this was where Sakura’s mind had decided to hide.

Inoichi refrained from putting his hand on the girls shoulder this time, instead edging around to look at her directly. He sighed in relief to see a true face this time, even covered in snot and tears as it was. 

Whatever that thing was before—and he had his suspicions— _this_ was the true Sakura. 

Inoichi knelt down beside her, and though her head unfurled from its place on her knees, she didn’t look at him. Instead, she stared straight ahead, as if waiting for something. 

He found out what it was she was waiting for moments later when a masked man, two woman and tinier version of Sakura appeared in front of them. Like some horrifying scene from a play, Inoichi watched the man brutally murder all of them—and he suddenly knew what this was. A memory, _Sakura’s_ memory, of the night her life had been turned upside down.

“Sakura—” Inoichi said, shocked at what he was seeing, and gasped as the scene before them reset itself, restarting like some terrible dream on repeat. He grasped her shoulders and forcibly turned her away from the violence, “Why are you—stop this! You don’t need to watch this again!”

“I do!” She said suddenly, beginning to struggle in his hands to turn around. “I do need to! Don’t you see, Yamanaka-san?”

“See _what,_ Sakura?” Inoichi said, his hold tight on the girl to keep her turned away from the awful scene. He didn’t question the fact that she seems unfazed by his presence—she probably thought he was just another part of the ‘dream.’

“I keep _failing._ I keep failing to protect anyone but myself—if I could just be _stronger_ , if I could just see what I keep doing _wrong_ , then maybe next time…maybe next time no one will die because of me!”

“Sakura…” Inoichi said with a shake of his head, “There’s nothing you could’ve done…that man, he was stronger than perhaps even I, and I’ve been a shinobi for nearly thirty years—you did _nothing_ wrong.”

Sakura shook her head, nails digging into Inoichi’s hands where they gripped her shoulders. “No. No, but I keep _failing._ It has to be me—it has to be something I’m doing wrong! If it’s not…if it’s not, then I’ll never be able to get better and, and people will keep _dying_ —” 

Something in the phrasing of her words gave Inoichi pause. “ _Keep_ dying?”

With a tiny nod, Sakura’s face suddenly crumbled in on itself. “Daisuke…I…I think he’s dead. He  _is_  dead, and it’s my fault!”

All around them, the macabre setting of the Uchiha massacre dissipated like smoke, leaving Inoichi and Sakura kneeling in the vast nothingness of before. Inoichi tried not to shiver at the unnaturalness of the place, and take it as a good sign instead—it meant that Sakura was no longer fixated on reliving the worst moment of her life anymore.

“Daisuke…that’s the boy that was with you.” Inoichi said quietly with a sigh. “What exactly happened?”

“I don’t know…I don’t know what I did, I just wanted to make a bunshin clone to distract the masked men, so we could escape. I just…wanted to be somewhere else.” She sniffled. “And… when I opened my eyes, we were…we were someplace strange.”

“Can you show me where you were?”

With a look of confusion, Inoichi suddenly realized the girl didn’t quite realize how to control this place—although that wasn't unusual. It was like a dream—everything that happened within it was perfectly normal, even if you were flying, and you didn’t realize until you woke that it wasn’t real.

“Just think on the place, Sakura, what did it look like?” Inoichi said gently. It was always better for them to make the realization that they were in their mind on their own. “Show me what happened.”

The girl closed her eyes and scrunched her tear stained face up into a look of pure concentration. When the world around him shuddered and warped again, Inoichi found himself in…

Well…he wasn’t sure where he was.

“What…” He murmured in confusion, reaching out towards a giant tree to touch the strange moss that covered it. His hand passed right through it, for it was just a memory, and Sakura did not have the training to make her memories real as he did.

He looked around the ethereal place, the strangeness of it making him suddenly wish he could use his chakra to feel out his surroundings. But he couldn’t—chakra didn’t exist within the mind, not in the way it did in the real world at least. His first assumption was that this was some kind of illusion that Sakura had been entrapped in but...his instincts were telling him that was incorrect.

“Kai!”

Inoichi looked back towards Sakura as she tried to dispel the illusion around her, something he too would’ve done had he been in her place. She was reliving the memory rather than watching it this time, for it was likely too close of a memory for her to distance herself from it like she had with her mothers death.

“Kai!” She shouted again, and it was then that Inoichi noticed the strange creatures that were suddenly rushing towards her from a distant body of water.

He stepped out of their way in alarm, even knowing they could do nothing to him, and stared as they descended on Sakura and the boy beside her. They latched on with gaping mouths to any available skin, and he saw how Sakura instantly weakened at their touch.

He’d never seen anything like the creatures—ghostly and monstrous in form, they looked as if someone had taken human parts but put them together wrong.

“Let me go! Let me go, I just want to get out of here!” She cried out, and Inoichi felt nauseous to watch her struggle. “Daisuke! Daisuke wake up! Please!”

Then, hand outstretched, a sudden burst of light shone from her bloodied hand. Seals crawled up her arm and across her body, pulsating like chains…chains that reminded him of the creature he’d seen when he’d first arrived in her mind. 

Then, the scene before him collapsed.

“He’s dead. He’s dead, I just know it.” Sakura said shakily as Inoichi stumbled to right himself at the sudden transition. “Those things…the _shiryou_ …I think they were sucking the life from me. I felt so weak…like I was dying.”

The Yamanaka took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts into something understandable. He didn’t know what he’d just seen. That place was…like no where he’d ever seen. Not even the lands of summons were quite so…strange, and those creatures…

This whole thing…was not what he’d expected when he’d stepped into Sakura’s mind.

“That…that place.” Inoichi started, only to stop again. “Perhaps, we could go back. Perhaps…even if he truly is dead, we could give him what he deserves—a proper funeral.”

With wet, blurry eyes Sakura looked off into the distance. “A proper funeral…my mother didn’t get a proper funeral…She was just thrown in with all the others and burned to nothing.”

Inoichi frowned at the dark words, but could say nothing against them. 

“I think…” She looked up at him, eyes suddenly clear and focused. She seemed determined now, where before she was lost. “I think I’d like that—finding him…and—and maybe he’s still alive…maybe…”

“Well…there’s only one way to find out.”

“You…you think I could do it again? That I could…go back to that place?” She sniffed, looking thoughtful. “I don’t even know how I did it.”

“I think we could try. And as for how you did it…from watching you, I think I have an idea.” He said seriously. “There’s no sense in giving up before we try, Sakura-chan…aren’t you a kunoichi? Do you not have the will of fire within you?”

Slowly, the girl nodded, her shoulders straightening. “Yes…I—I’m a kunoichi.”

“That’s the Sakura I know.” Inoichi said with a small smile, “The Sakura that my daughter always talks so fondly of.”

Her eyes filled once more with tears. “I miss her—Ino-chan.”

Inoichi reached out a hand to ruffle her hair, smiling bittersweetly. “She misses you too, y’know. When you wake up…we’ll go see her together.”

“Wake up?” She said, confused. 

Then, with a single blink, Inoichi left her mind.

 

—

 

Yamanaka Inoichi came back to himself to the feel of a cool hand at his shoulder steadying him. He blinked his eyes open to see the ANBU Hyuuga beside him, looking down at Sakura with barely concealed worry in her eyes. He took a deep breath to steady himself, removing his hand from the girls now thoroughly messy head of pink hair.

“She’s truly asleep now.” He murmured, taking stock of the girls slack face and shut eyes. Gone was the glazed stare and rapid breathing of before. He gave a quick glance around the room, brows furrowed.

“Where is Hokage-sama?”

“He was called away.” Himeko said, not looking away from Sakura. “He’s in the receiving room.”

“Stay with the girl.” He said shortly with a nod. He headed for the exit to the room as Himeko took his place beside the sleeping girl, his stride long and face hard.

“Hokage-sama.” Inoichi called out when he reached the room, waiting outside the door protected by a Cat masked ANBU guard. It only took a moment for the man’s voice to call out for him to enter, and he did so immediately.

When he slid the door open, his eyes’ widened at the three bodies piled in the center of it. All of them bound, gagged and obviously unconscious…except for one of them, who was clearly dead but had been placed with the others anyways. They were all set down on a large seal, one that was usually covered by an oval rug if the lighter circle of wood was any indication. 

It was a seal that, surprisingly, Inoichi recognized. He didn’t often have any contact with seal beyond those used in sealing scrolls, but this one he knew from seeing them in every one of the holding cells in the Konoha intelligence devision.  It was a chakra draining seal, one that would absorb the chakra of those that stood on it at a slow and steady rate, preventing them from building enough chakra for any sort of jutsu. He hadn’t realized the hokage had one in his own residence.

“Yamanaka-san.” The hokage said, pulling Inoichi’s attention up from the prone shinobi. “I was just being debriefed by Wolf here. He’s captured our two rogue shinobi.”

Inoichi’s brows raised as he eyed the ANBU that stood besides the hokage, his mask ordained with the visage of the wolf. “I thought there was only one rogue shinobi.”

“Yes, there was. Before Hare revealed his true allegiances by attacking me, as the hokage had suspected he might.” The ANBU agent said, masked face turning briefly to look at the piled bodies in the center of the room. He then turned back to the hokage, who gave a solemn nod, one that Inoichi assumed was for him to continue with the report he’d likely interrupted.

“As I was saying Hokage-sama—I knew Hare would turn by how he and the operative known as ‘Rooster’ fought, it was clear that Hare was only waiting to get me alone and off guard before he made his move. I planned accordingly, and created a shadow clone while I was underground and Hare was distracted.” Wolf pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to the Hokage. 

“The seal I’ve been creating these past months worked against Rooster perfectly, and Hare wasn’t expecting me to have a second one at my disposal. Although…there were some issues. The second one, the one I placed on Hare, ended up taking too much chakra…which, unfortunately, ended up killing him on the way here. It also took much longer to activate than I thought it would. If the enemy hadn’t been willingly incapacitated, I would not have had the time to use it.”

“Willingly incapacitated?” The hokage questioned.

“Yes. It was obvious Rooster had allowed himself to be captured. A ROOT agent being tricked by the hiding mole technique, and then being unable to release himself from it? Unlikely. He obviously wanted to hold my attention while Hare prepared to attack at the perfect moment, sacrificing himself.”

Inoichi stared at the ANBU agent. For a moment he honestly thought that perhaps it was a particularly rebellious Nara that had dyed they’re hair silver…but that was a ridiculous thought, and there was a much more obvious answer. 

Wolf had to be Hatake Kakashi—the famed prodigy with the sharingan, known for having created his own jutsu at barely thirteen and who had studied under a sensei known for his sealing capabilities. Knowing that…it really wasn’t all that surprising the man had created a new form of chakra draining seal, as well as managed to take down two ROOT operatives alone, even managing to keep one of them alive for interrogation too.

“You’ve done well, Wolf.” The hokage said, though his face was troubled. “It was the right choice, even if it resulted in the death of one of the operatives. Hopefully we can get some information from the remaining one—Rooster.”

Wolf nodded in acknowledgment. “Should I take them to the intelligence devision, Hokage-sama?”

“Not yet…” The hokage said, eyes turning to Inoichi. It was clear then that the hokage wanted Wolf there to hear what information Inoichi had found within Sakura’s mind.

“Yamanaka-san…how is our young guest?”

“Sleeping.” Inoichi said, “…I learned what I needed to. It’s highly likely the boy is dead, Hokage-sama.”

The old man sighed, “So we are too late…ROOT killed the boy—”

“No.” The Yamanaka clan head interrupted, surprising the hokage. “No, I don’t believe that is the case…I think…well. I think he’s in another…dimension.”

There was a sudden silence. Inoichi had expected that of course. He of all people knew what ‘crazy’ sounded like.

“I know how it sounds. However…I truly believe such things _could_ exist.” He said firmly, “Summoning scrolls for example…I know it’s long been debated how exactly such things work, but the prevailing theory for many years has been that it travels through a pocket dimension to traverse the space between the point of storage and the point of summoning. And then there’s storage scrolls…where else do the stored things go if not to another dimension?”

“That’s never been proven, it’s just a theory.” Wolf says slowly, “And a just as prevalent theory is that summoning and storage scrolls do not involve ‘dimensions’ of any kind other than our own. Rather, they are purely mathematical—they break down the object to it’s basest parts and then rebuild it in another location. No magical dimensions needed.”

Inoichi’s eyes narrowed at the ANBU agent, “I don’t pretend to believe in ‘magic’, ANBU-san, but I also don’t presume to assume everything I can’t see with my own eyes doesn’t exist. Perhaps these ‘magical dimensions’ as you call them, are merely another part of the world that we don’t yet understand enough to explain with science. That does not make them 'magic.'”

“Why do you believe this, Yamanaka-san?” The hokage interrupted, “Was it…something you saw within the girls mind perhaps?”

Inoichi sighed, “Yes. What I saw there was…well, unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. The ring on her finger—it has some kind of sealing capabilities. I believe she used it, and it took her, and the boy, somewhere…else. Perhaps a good way to explain it is…a reverse summoning scroll, like the one that the fourth hokage was known for using, only stopped halfway through the process.”

Beside the hokage, Wolf stiffened and seemed about to speak once more, but the hokage held up a hand to stop him. He nodded his head at Inoichi for him to continue.

“She brought the boy there, but she didn’t bring him back. I say he’s dead because…well, that doesn’t matter, but I know what I saw and I know it’s unlikely he still lives.” Inoichi folded his arms over his chest thoughtfully, “I know, from what Cat told me, that the ring has already been examined and found to repel any that try to use it—but _she_ used it. We should investigate this place further…and perhaps even find the boy’s corpse, to be put to rest.”

As Inoichi finished speaking, the hokage gave a long deep sigh. Wolf remained silent from his spot beside the man, both of them watching the leader of Konohagakure for his verdict. The man rubbed a hand briefly down his face, looking tired and worn in the dimness of the room, and Inoichi realized the man had likely not slept much at all that night. And, as hokage, he would most likely be required to remain awake for the rest of the day.

“You’re right of course. This is…not something to be ignored. Whatever the place you saw was, wherever the boy and she went…we must look into it, as a matter of security if nothing else. If she can go there…it’s possible others can as well, even if only through her. I’ll arrange for a time and place for her to test this _ring_ of hers, with a proper chaperone who understands seals.” The hokage looked thoughtfully over at Wolf, the implication clear _he_ would be said chaperone. There was a subtle slumping of Wolf's shoulders at the responsibly, which the hokage smirked at, and then he looked over at Inoichi. 

“For now, I want the girl to stay with you Yamanaka-san. She can’t remain here—it would cause too much talk—and it’s obviously not safe for her at the orphanage any longer. Though Wolf kept the rogue agents from reporting back to their master, it’s unclear if there were other agents involved that could have seen what happened from the shadows. I’ll arrange for a more permanent place for her within the next day or two…one which I believe she’ll like very much—as will her roommate.”

Inoichi nodded, watching curiously as the hokage briefly smiled at his words. “Of course, Hokage-sama. She’s welcome in the Yamanaka clan compound. She’ll be safe there, surrounded by loyal Yamanaka shinobi.”

“Good, good…and Wolf.” The smile quickly drained from the hokage’s face. “I want you and Cat to bring our…other guests, to Ibiki. It’s likely that our best bet will be Yamanaka-san, considering their ROOT seals, but it’s best to give the man a crack at them first. He always gets so cranky if I don’t…

Wolf bowed quickly in acknowledgment, and Cat—having heard the order from outside in the hallway—entered the room. 

“Oh—and both of you, report back to me tonight, after you get some rest.” The hokage said before they could leave. “I have another mission for you. One that will end this mess once and for all.”

 

—

 

Inoichi finally arrived home just as his daughter was sitting down to eat breakfast. Despite it being a Sunday, his wife was already manning the flower shop, thankfully, and so he was alone in the house except for his daughter and the girl he held in his arms. He’d hoped to get in and find that Ino had left to play with some friends or something…but it seemed he wasn’t so lucky.

“Wha—Dad! Is that Sakura—!”

“Not now Ino.” Inoichi said shortly, walking right past her towards the stairs that led to the guest room. He felt terrible being short with his daughter, he did it so rarely...but it'd been a very, very long morning. “Shouldn’t you be finishing your breakfast?”

“I—you can’t expect me to _now._ What’s Sakura-chan doing here? Is she okay? Why is she passed out—!” Ino ran after him, her tiny feet pounding up the stairs behind him.

Inoichi sighed as he reached the door to the room that would be Sakura’s while she was here. Ino came to a halt in the door way, watching him set Sakura down in their guest bed and pull the covers up around her. 

He turned to Ino and made a shushing motion with his finger as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

“She needs sleep for now, Ino.” He said gently upon seeing the look of worry on his daughters face. “I promise you that you can talk to her later, after dinner maybe, alright?”

Ino looked between his face and Sakura’s door, obviously torn. Eventually, she gave a hesitant nod, which was enough for the sleep deprived Inoichi. He ruffled her hair as he passed her, stopping only to grab her hand—which was when she startled.

“Ah, I-I’ll come down in a minute.” She said as she tried to pull away from his hand. Inoichi rolled his eyes, knowing she’d been intending on waiting until he’d gone downstairs to sneak into the girls room.

“Ino…she _needs_ rest—”

“I’ll be quiet! I swear! I just…I just need to see her…” Ino looked down, eyes filling up with tears, and it was then that Inoichi knew he was beat. He never could resist the tears. They were her ultimate weapon, and she knew it.

He sighed, shoulders slumping and grip instantly releasing. His daughter beamed up at him, not even waiting for his reply before she quietly snuck into the room. He stealthily kept the door from shutting behind her with a well placed foot, watching through the crack of the door as Ino approached the girl on the bed, only slightly worried.

He hadn’t been lying—the girl really did need rest—but he also didn’t want anyone waking Sakura abruptly, should it cause her to panic and strike out. He had no doubt that should something like that happen, that Ino would take it entirely the wrong way.

Ino carefully approached the bed, her and Sakura’s back turned to Inoichi and the door. Still, as a sensor-nin he’d be able to tell if Sakura awoke by even the smallest fluctuations in her chakra, and step in if necessary.

“Sakura-chan…” Ino whispered after a long while of standing and staring at the sleeping girl, “I don’t know what happened…and I—I know you’re not awake and can’t hear me right now but…but I just wanted to say something.”

Ino shuffled a bit back and forth, looking unsure, and then—to Inoichi’s surprise—she carefully climbed up on the bed beside Sakura and wrapped an arm gently around her. Inoichi felt the spark of slow awareness in Sakura, and tensed just as it bloomed to full wakefulness. A sudden burst of chakra slammed into him, a spike of panicked chakra, one that he was sure even Ino felt—if not in her chakra then at least in the tensing of Sakura's body.

“I…I’m sorry.” Ino chocked out, and Inoichi felt more than saw Sakura’s panic suddenly recede at her voice, her chakra leveling out to a steady  hum. “I’m sorry for what I said, I’m sorry for waiting so long to _say_ I’m sorry…to you _and_ to Naruto...I...”

Inoichi saw Sakura slowly shift and turn over. He tensed once more, feeling rather intrusive suddenly, watching from the door way. He was saved the embarrassment of being found out when Sakura didn’t even glance over in his direction—her eyes were glued to Ino where she lay beside her.

“Sakura-chan—”

He could vaguely make out the motion of Sakura’s hands interrupting Ino, but Inoichi couldn’t see well enough over the shape of his daughter to understand what she was saying.

“I will!” Ino said suddenly, head moving sharply down. “I’ll apologize to Naruto, I promise! I…was wrong, to say what I did then and…and honestly, he’s a better friend than me. I’ve been calling him stupid all this time but…but _I’m_ the one who’s been stupid—”

Suddenly, Sakura started shaking her head vigorously. Her arms came up and pulled Ino towards her, causing his daughter to yelp in surprise at the sudden movement. Inoichi could just see Sakura’s face peek over Ino’s shoulder, her eyes scrunched shut and mouth moving subtly as if saying something.

A sniffle suddenly sounded as he saw his daughter’s arms come up to return the girl’s hug.

“I…I missed you too…” He heard Ino say, voice small and chocked and rid of the usual bossiness he often heard in it.

Finally, as quietly as he could, Inoichi closed the door, and left the girls to their privacy. A small smile played across his lips, and he reveled in the bit of good news—the first good news all day. He knew the good mood wouldn’t last though…not into the evening anyways. For it was then that he’d have to speak to Sakura about what had happened, what will happen...and it was then that he’d have to bring up the strange faceless thing he’d seen in her mind.

It wouldn’t be a nice subject to talk about, but it needed to be done. He hadn’t spoken of it to the hokage yet, but only because he needed to find out more information about it before he made any assumptions…of which he had many. He'd have to consult the archives to check the records of his great grandmother, the one's that mentioned the intricacies of the minds of people with split personalities...he thought he remembered something similar in them to what he'd experience in Sakura's mind. Until then, he wouldn't say anything to the hokage.

After all, the hokage had his own troubles, and he really didn’t need any more. Inoichi had offered to help the man in the mission he’d planned for that evening, but the hokage had stalwartly refused. He’d said involving a clan head would be seen as a political move rather than a security move, and Inoichi had respected his decision to only use ANBU operatives—even as he disagreed with it.

He could only hope that it all went according to plan.

 

—

 

Danzo knew the operation had failed as soon as dawn broke and his operatives hadn’t returned. He didn't know why, he didn’t know how, but he knew it had failed. It was only when he suddenly found his estate overrun by ANBU agents circling his property that he realized just how _badly_ it had failed. It explained why no other ROOT agents had come to update him on the situation—he was essentially surrounded, the ANBU had created a veritable blockade.

The ANBU showed up just as the sun lit the sky, and they kept themselves out of sight as they patrolled every exit and entrance of his estate. They didn’t overtly show themselves, but Danzo had been a shinobi for long enough to know they were there without needing to necessarily see them. There were so many Danzo knew he had no choice but to stay right where he was and ignore them, despite the fact they were doing a terrible job of hiding themselves.

And besides…disappearing into the secret tunnels beneath the estate would only incriminate him, and fighting them would do worse than that—it give them actual ammunition against him. He knew that whatever the hokage wanted to pin him with, he didn’t have any concrete proof to use against him. His agents physically could not speak against him, thanks to those wonderfully useful seals on their tongues, and without the sharingan they wouldn’t be able to find anything by raiding his estate. 

Should it come to it, the only one that could find the secret tunnels would be that Hatake boy, and Danzo could easily take care of him…or even just detonate the tunnels themselves remotely, should he need to. And so, he waited, he made some tea, he read a scroll or two and then he sat out on his engawa until the sun slowly began to set once more.

It was only then, when the moon had replaced the sun in the sky, that the ANBU made themselves truly known. They surrounded him in the courtyard as he was tending to a moon flower, one which had only just began to bloom.

“Finally decided to show yourselves I see…” The ex councilman said calmly as he rose from his knee. He looked around at the ANBU that surrounded him, and he smiled at the knowledge that he knew every one of the faces behind the masks. 

“I suppose I’m to be accused of something, Hokage-sama?” Danzo said without turning towards where he knew the man to be. “Although, bringing this many ANBU to come see an old retired man on house arrest…it’s a bit of an overkill is it not?”

“I’ve learned over our many years of association to never underestimate you, Danzo…” The hokage said as he appeared from within the crowd of ANBU, who parted like a sea around him. “You, however, seem to have not learned that lesson quite yet.”

Finally, his old teammate and rival came to a stop before him. Danzo looked at him, head on, realizing this was the first time in a long while that he had looked the old man in the eye. He walked with his hands at his back, his shoulders stooped with age, and his eyes were just as soft and pathetically sad when they looked at him as they had always been. He reached of weakness, and those righteous morals of his leaked from his every pore, his every expression.

“Such an accusation already…” Danzo said, expressionless, “I would never dare underestimate the longest sitting hokage in the history of Konoha—”

“Enough—let’s end the pleasantries now, shall we? I think we both know why I am here…”

Danzo raised a brow, the only one not covered by thick bandages. “I must plead ignorance, Hokage-sama. I know only that I awoke this morning with an army of intruders on my private estate.”

Hiruzen’s eyes narrowed, deepening the wrinkles that surrounded his eyes and ran down his face. His hand raised from behind his back, signaling to someone behind him. His eyes never left Danzo’s, not even when a sniveling pathetic excuse for a shinobi was dropped at his feet.

Danzo glanced over at him, face revealing none of his recognition of the school teacher.

“I believe it’s polite to greet your acquaintances when you reunite with them.” Hiruzen said sharply, “Isn’t that right Mizuki?”

Mizuki, shivering on the ground, looked as if he was regretting his very existence at that moment. Still, he looked up with puffy eyes at Danzo, and the ex councilman saw what the old fool of a hokage couldn’t in the chuunin—a scheming, lying snake.

“Yes…Hokage-sama.”

“Is this the man that you saw Rooster returning to? The one that he said had offered you a pass to the restricted section of the library should you do as he asks?”

“Yes.”

The Hokage looked up at Danzo. “My…that is rather incriminating isn’t it? Especially considering what his actions led to…”

The old man trailed off, and Danzo nearly smiled. He was giving him a chance to explain or incriminate himself, the ridiculous man…he was still aggravatingly soft.

“Hokage-sama…the man is right, we have made an acquaintance before. However…I never gave him any orders, nor did I know of this ‘Rooster’ still being alive. Last I knew he’d died when he refused to be integrated with ANBU…” Danzo hummed to himself, staring the shaking chuunin down. “I believe you’ve been misled, Hokage-sama. ROOT has long been disbanded, under your orders. I have only ever been here, under house arrest, since you took my position as councilman from me…”

“Indeed I have been misled…” The hokage said, jaw suddenly tight. “But it is not by Mizuki—”

“Is it not?” Danzo interrupted. “Look at the man…he’s pathetic, yes, but how can you not see that much of it is an act? Look into his eyes…look and see. It’s obvious to me, but you have always been blinded by an unconscionable _need_ to protect the weak, haven’t you, Hiruzen?”

Hiruzen finally looked away from Danzo, staring down thoughtfully at Mizuki. Danzo took the moment to hammer his point home, the final nail in what he knew would be the chuunin’s coffin.

“Shall I tell you? Shall I show you what you cannot see, or will you look away, as you always have, from the things you do not want to see?” Danzo took Hiruzen’s glare in stride, continuing, “I may have been on house arrest, but I have not been totally inactive. I am still a shinobi of Konoha, and I will protect it…and so I looked into the man, when I found him trying to sneak into areas not meant for someone of his rank. Do you know what I found?”

Danzo slowly looked down, holding the silver haired prisoners gaze with sheer intensity alone. Mizuki was sweating bullets, and now his charade of a sniveling terrified coward was not quite a charade anymore.

“I found a _snake,_ Hokage-sama.” Danzo hissed the word loudly, satisfied at the obvious flinch Mizuki gave. “I found him meeting with a foreign shinobi, speaking of finding and stealing the Forbidden Scroll…for Orochimaru himself. His own words, Hokage-sama…and I have the proof, should you require it.”

“Why then…did you not bring this proof earlier, and reveal the traitor?” Hiruzen said, and Danzo held back a smile. His face said it all—he’d bought his line, as he always did, because he wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe in the strange fantasy friendship between them that he’d so long ago built in his mind.

“Well…I do not exactly have the best reputation at the moment, do I? I wanted to make sure I had enough to truly incriminate the man…and of course there was the fear it would reveal things too early, and we’d lose our chance at finding and revealing Orochimaru's whereabouts.” He murmured, and he saw the slump of the Hokage’s shoulders. 

“Hiruzen…whatever lies this man has told you, whatever has happened at this orphanage that you speak of…it was not _my_ doing. Perhaps there is members of my old organization that have been corrupted, but if so...then they have found a _new_ figure head to follow.”

Slowly, Danzo reached out his hand, the one not wrapped and in a sling. Hiruzen eyed it, looking briefly shocked.

“Let me help you. Let me clear my name, and find this new threat that corrupts my old organization—and together, we can find the one responsible, and snuff it out once and for all…and perhaps, we will find our snake among the roots.”

There was a long moment of silence, and Danzo kept his hand outstretched and open. Hiruzen eyed it, and in his face it was clear that he wanted dearly to take it. His arm came up, and the weathered Hokage’s hand gripped Danzo's own in his, and finally...finally the ex-councilman let himself smile. He stared hard into his old teammate's eyes, full of righteousness, his every action feeling vindicated in the face of this ‘hokage’s’ blind faith in him, a blind faith in ideals that had and would continue to lead Konoha astray.

Hiruzen hadn’t changed at all. His foolishness never ceased to amaze him…nor could the foolishness of the very village that had voted to keep him in office.

_Pathetic. Weak._ Danzo thought as he gripped Hiruzen’s hand and shook it. 

“Thank you, Hokage-sama.” Danzo said, the words like sand on his tongue, “For believing in—Hrk!”

Hiruzen’s hand fell from his suddenly slack one. Danzo looked down at the wooden beam that found itself thrust out through his chest. He looked back up, one eye wide as it stared in disbelief at the sad face of the hokage before him. From behind him, Kinoe appeared, hands firmly set in a seal as he focused on the very wood release technique that Danzo himself had taught him.

“Danzo…I have overlooked so much, believed you so many times…I even turned the other way when you tried to have me assassinated. And yet still…you betray me.” Hiruzen shook his head, face hardening. “I won’t fall for your schemes again. I told you, that you had never quite learned to stop underestimating me, and it seems that holds true now…as sad as it is.”

With a heaving cough, Danzo spit blood out in an arc in front of him. He struggled to regain his breath against the pain, finding a smile returning to his face. He wanted to laugh, but he could only look up with a bloody grin. 

For once, Hiruzen was right—he had underestimated his old teammate...but then, so had Hiruzen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Danzo's fate?! Did I get you even a little with Kakashi's fake death?! I doubt it...
> 
> I hope Cat's POV wasn't too confusing switching back and forth between 'cat' and 'yamato,' but I did that because I wanted to portray his flexible sense of self and how he see's names and their importance to that self.
> 
> Sakura's mind space was a ton of fun to write, although I don't know if writing her and Ino's reconciliation from Inoichi's POV was the right choice yet...
> 
> Did anyone catch the little hint to Sakura's new roommate? ;) I think you all know who it is.


	11. History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter the hokage's wife was a character briefly, but I changed her to a maid after a commenter pointed out that the hokages wife is canonically dead, and then another that his children are jounin (after I was going to make her his daughter). Thank you for pointing that out! Not a big change but a change nonetheless. I try to keep things as canon as possible (outside of all the plot deviations obviously) but I also haven't seen all the filler from Naruto and I've never seen anything from Boruto. With that said, hope you enjoy this chapter!

_“Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future”_

  
- Corrie Ten Boom

 

—

 

Sakura awoke just as the sun was near to setting. Ino was no longer beside her, but she could hear her down below, her voice raised over something. With slow deliberate movements, Sakura sat at the edge of the bed, trying to gather her thoughts into something that made sense.

Her body ached, and she was vividly reminded of her time in the hospital after the massacre. She’d felt the same way then, muscles weak, head pounding, her hands barely able to clench. She supposed that it must be a result of chakra exhaustion, and she grimaced at the reminder of the very thing she hadn’t wanted to think about.

Daisuke. Perhaps, if she’d been stronger, quicker, he would be here right now feeling the same as she was. But he wasn’t. He was likely feeling nothing at all.

The floor was cool beneath her bare feet. She looked down and wiggled her toes, realizing with horror that they were covered in dried mud. She glanced back at the bed, seeing the mess she’d made, and felt a terrible guilt at dirtying her friends guest bed.

She made quick work of the sheets, tearing them from the bed and rolling them into a ball. There was a hamper in the corner, so she put it there, and then she hesitated. She both did and didn’t want to go downstairs…she had realized, as she lay in bed thinking on all that had happened, that Inoichi had been inside her mind. She thought at first it was a dream, but it was too detailed, too exacting…and she’d never had a dream with Ino’s father in it before. It didn’t take long after that to deduce what he’d done. After all, it was a well known fact that the Yamanaka specialized in jutsu’s to do with the mind, and Sakura knew from being Ino's friend for so long just what that could mean.

It’s not that she was angry he entered her mind…it was just that, well, she didn’t want to face the man who had seen her at her worst. The man who’d watched as she failed to save Daisuke, just as she’d failed her mother.

“Oh. You’re awake.” A voice said from the doorway, “Ino will be glad to see you. She’s been a right terror waiting for you to wake up.”

It was a woman that popped her head into the doorway, one that Sakura recognized as Ino’s mother. She bowed quickly to her, and the woman waved her forward until she could push her towards the stairs.

“On we go now.” She said as she hurried Sakura downstairs, “I apologize, I still have a shop to close up, so I don’t have time to make you any tea. Inoichi!”

Sakura stood frozen as Inoichi walked out of an open door to the left. He looked at her with kind eyes, as he always had when she’d visited Ino before, and she looked away with shame.

“I’ll leave her with you then.” The woman behind her said, before shuffling off, “Be sure to use the good tea. She looks like she needs it.”

“Of course, dear.” Inoichi said with a sigh. He put his hand between Sakura’s shoulders to lead her into the kitchen. “I sensed you moving about up there, so I’ve I already put a pot on.”

They entered the kitchen, and the first thing Sakura saw was Ino beaming up at her from the table. Her mouth twitched up fondly as she went to sit beside her. If there was one good thing that had come from all this, it was she and Ino being friends again…if only Naruto was here right now. Then it would be perfect.

“Ino, will you get the tea set out please?”

Ino pouted, even as she got up to grab the cups and saucers from the cupboard. “I could’ve made the tea y’know. Mom gave me the secret recipe for mixing it—”

“—and last time you made it you forgot about the water boiling on the stove and went out to play. By the time I came home the house was filled with steam and the pot was completely devoid of water.” Inoichi said, looking over his shoulder with a glare, “…all the wallpaper in here was peeling off and had to be replaced.”

“T-that was a year ago!” Ino stuttered, nearly dropping the dishes in her hands. “I’ve gotten better about forgetting things on the stove since then…”

At the look of utter embarrassment on Ino’s face, Sakura couldn’t help the burst of laughter. She just looked so red, like a tomato, she couldn’t help herself.

Ino looked at her suddenly, surprised, and Sakura smiled at her.

‘What?’ Sakura signed as Ino continued to stare.

“Nothing.” Ino said, smiling as she sat down. “It’s just been awhile since you’ve smiled at me…usually it’s Naruto.”

Sakura frowned at that, and an awkward silence fell across the kitchen. She looked over at Inoichi as the tea kettle began to whistle sharply, cutting through the silence.

‘Naruto…’ Sakura signed, then hesitated. Inoichi watched her softly as he poured her a cup of steaming tea. ‘Do you…know where he is? What happened?’

The Yamanaka clan head sighed. “He’s somewhere safe. That’s all I know.”

Sakura saw Ino look between them curiously, and Sakura twirled her tea cup around on its saucer nervously. She knew what her next question was, but she almost didn’t want to ask it.

‘And…Daisuke?’ Her hands faltered on his name, ‘When will we…when will  _I…’_

There were no signs that she knew to explain it, but Inoichi seemed to understand what she wanted to ask. He looked a bit surprised though, perhaps at the fact that she remembered their ‘meeting?’

“Not tonight.” He said firmly, “There are preparations to be made before we can make an attempt, and you’ll need some proper training in seals as well…although it’s good to see you remember our conversation. Many wouldn’t.”

Sakura nodded, both disappointed and relieved that she wouldn’t be going back to  _that_  place so soon. Still, Daisuke’s face appeared in her mind, his eyes open and looking at her, and she nearly dropped the tea cup in her hands at the memory.

“What…are you two talking about?” Ino finally said, slamming her cup down and crossing her arms. “It’s like you’re talking in code. Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on—why Sakura-chan is here? And what’s this about seals, and Naruto? And who’s ‘Daisuke?’”

“Ino. What did I tell you before about asking questions on this subject?” Inoichi said, casting a sharp look to his daughter. Her cheeks puffed in annoyance. “All you need to know, is that Sakura is here for her safety. Do not mention her presence to anyone, or it could endanger her, do you understand?”

Sakura glanced up at Ino from beneath her lashes, a pang going through her at the hurt look on the girls face as she nodded her understanding. Wonderful. Another thing for her to feel guilty about, keeping even more secrets from her friend…Sakura sighed. She could feel Inoichi and Ino’s piercing eyes upon her, and so she pretended to be intensely interested in her tea so as not to be compelled to meet either’s gaze.

“Well…it certainly is tense in here.” Inoichi said after they'd finished their tea, startling the two sulking girls at the table. He chuckled, “Why don’t we do something to burn off some of this tension, hm? It’s not too late yet…perhaps some training?”

“Wha—training?! It’s Sunday!” Ino said accusingly, eye’s narrowed, “And anyways…I thought it was against the rules to train outsiders?”

“We won’t do anything too taxing. Sakura’s been lying in bed all day, I’m sure she’d like some exercise.” Inoichi shrugged, “And it’s just taijutsu—not like I’ll be teaching her any clan techniques.”

“But—!” Ino protested, but Inoichi was already shuffling them out of their chair’s and towards the back door. “Agh—Dad!”

 

—

 

Ino grumbled as she did her pushups, blowing at the hair that fell in her face on every down movement. She threw glares over at Inoichi every chance she could get, but Inoichi had long learned to ignore his daughters fury during training—and besides, he was much more focused on Sakura.

She was quick and strong, likely from her time playing and keeping up with that Naruto boy, but…she had absolutely no stamina. It was also worrying that the time she needed to recover, to catch her breath or do another push up, was much longer than he would’ve expected from the girl. Even Ino was miles ahead of her in recovery time, and she hated physical exertion.

That observation, combined with the knowledge he had of her easy use of that seal on her ring…it made him think.

He extended his chakra, feeling out the signatures of the two little girls in front of him. His daughters, familiar as it was strong, and Sakura’s which felt…unbalanced. It wasn’t surprising, but it was worrying. He only vaguely remembered her chakra signature from the times when she and Ino would play in the backyard all those months ago, but he remembered enough to notice that it had most certainly…changed.

“Sakura…” He asked once they were done, as Ino tried futilely to fix her messy hair. “During the training, how did you feel?”

‘…Tired.’ Sakura answered, looking as curious as she did exhausted, ‘But I always do, when I’m taijutsu training.’

‘“…May I try something?” He’d reached out his hand, wanting to confirm his suspicions. She’d nodded quickly, willingly putting her hands in his. “…this may feel strange, like pins and needles up your arms.”

To be so worn out from such simple exercises, and yet be able to use such an advanced seal without even thinking…it could only mean one thing—she had a disproportionate amount of Yin energy, and not enough Yang energy. His theory was only confirmed as he thoroughly probed her chakra with his own, finding the Yang energy within it to be worryingly low.

He frowned as he pulled away, and Sakura mirrored his expression.

‘I know my taijutsu is terrible.’ She signed, looking rather ashamed suddenly, ‘But I try really hard and I run with Naruto every day, and even sometimes with Rock Lee—but both of them have so much energy so I can never keep up—‘

“Sakura. That’s not it, I’m not judging you for being tired…” Inoichi said, interrupting her quickly as he saw a scowl forming on Ino’s face. He sighed, motioning Ino closer as he settled in to explain himself.

“What do you two know about chakra?” He started, and he saw Sakura’s eyes sharpen. He couldn’t help but smile when her hand went up lightning quick. “Yes, Sakura?”

‘Chakra is the energy within our bodies, which can be controlled and manipulated to perform jutsu.’

“A textbook answer.” Inoichi said with a chuckle as Sakura beamed. “But it’s lacking one thing—what is the energy within out bodies? Where does it come from?”

Sakura frowned in thought, but it was Ino that spoke up this time, looking hesitant.

“Chakra is made up of two types of energy…Yin, the energy of the mind or the spirit, and Yang, the energy of the body or the physical.” Ino said, smiling proudly when Inoichi nodded and Sakura looked at her with open admiration.

“Yes, exactly. Every human being is made up of Yin and Yang energy. When shinobi balance the two and combine them, they created chakra. Balancing that ratio differently creates Yin release or Yang release. Yin release, as you know Ino, is used by the Yamanaka and the Nara for their techniques, while Yang release is used by the Akimichi or taijutsu experts to enhance their bodies.” Here he paused to let the information sink in, and he could tell that Sakura was eagerly absorbing his every word.

“Balanced chakra is the default for most shinobi, and often the only thing they ever use. It takes significant training to perform Yin or Yang release, and many don’t see the point to learning it without a clan technique that relies on it—after all, only balanced chakra can be used to perform elemental jutsu.”

“Dad…why are we getting a lesson in chakra?” Ino said with a sigh, “I’m tired…and do I need to remind you again that it’s  _Sunday?_  We can learn all this at school. Tomorrow.”

“I’m telling you, because I noticed something wrong with Sakura’s chakra while she was training with you.” Inoichi said, hand heavy on his daughters shoulder as she tried to make her escape. “I’m telling you because I think, Sakura, that you have unbalanced chakra.”

Sakura stiffened where she sat, eyes gone wide. Beside her, Ino sat back down with a heavy thump.

“What…what does that mean?” Ino said softly, looking worriedly at her friend.

‘Am I…sick?’ Sakura signed slowly.

“No, not necessarily…although often people that are sick do develop unbalanced chakras…” Inoichi said softly, thinking of one Gekko Hayate who he always saw coughing at the chuunin desks. He could feel the boy from miles away because of his unbalanced chakra signature—so little Yang energy that he nearly felt dead at times.

“It just means that you have an excessive amount of Yin energy and very little Yang energy…but I don’t think you’re sick. I believe this is why you have such a hard time with taijutsu, as taijutsu consumes Yang energy even if you are not actively molding chakra.” Inoichi mused. Seeing the despondent look on the girls face he hurried to reassure her.

“Those with unbalanced energy  _do_  have a much harder time at learning elemental jutsu… _but_  Yin or Yang release will come much easier to them…take Maito Gai, for example. He, and his father before him, were born with more Yang energy than Yin energy, and so had a higher proficiency in taijutsu but hardly any proficiency with ninjutsu. He would never be able to perform Yin release, but Yang release comes naturally to him. I believe it’s that same for you, except in reverse.”

‘Maito Gai…’ Sakura signed out the syllables of his name, looking thoughtful. ‘Could I meet him?’

“Uh, you…could.” Inoichi said hesitantly, looking away with a nervous scratch to the back of his neck. He didn’t particularly want impressionable children around the man but…it could help her, he supposed, to talk to someone with a similar problem to hers, even if it was the opposite energy imbalance.

“Maybe we could teach her!” Ino suddenly jumped in, looking excited. “Our clan specializes in Yin release right? So we should teach Sakura-chan!”

“Ino!” Inoichi rebuked, just as startled at her exclamation as Sakura was. “You know better than that…those are clan techniques.”

“Yeah, but…you said it yourself that Sakura would be really good at Yin release. She’s not a Haruno anymore and, though you keep avoiding me when I ask, I  _know_  she’s not going to live at the orphanage anymore—you always do that thing with you eyes when I ask if she’s going back. So…” Ino fidgeted suddenly, voice trailing off, “So maybe she could…become a Yamanaka?”

Sakura looked down at the ground, and Ino played with a hanging thread on the edge of her shirt as silence weighed heavily down on them. Inoichi didn’t know what to say, even as he was impressed with his daughters ability to read him so well. Still..he had to respond. Too harsh of a no and he’d hurt them both, but too soft and he’d give them both hope where there was none.

How he wished the world they lived in was simple enough that he could just adopt the girl into the clan…but it wasn’t. Clan adoptions, especially into clans as old and important as the Yamanaka, were not simple things. Add to that the politics and secrets that surrounded Sakura at the moment and…well, Inoichi knew it wasn’t possible, just as it wasn’t possible for anyone to adopt the jinchuuriki.

“…I think it’s getting close to dinner time.” He settled on, feeling rather pathetic for avoiding the issue. “Why don’t we head in and get cleaned up?”

Ino’s shoulders slumped even as her eyes glared daggers at him from beneath her lashes. Sakura only nodded softly, and she didn’t meet Inoichi’s eyes.

After giving both of the girls dinner and setting them up in the guest bedroom for a ‘sleepover,’ as Ino called it, Inoichi left for the archives. He tried not to notice how Ino ignored him when he said good night.

He had so many questions about everything that had happened that morning, about the discovery he’d made on Sakura’s chakra just that evening. He pushed the issue of Ino’s sudden unhappiness with him to the back of his mind and hit the archives looking for answers among his ancestors writings.

Hours later, as the moon finally rose high in the sky, the words blurred in front of his eyes and Inoichi sat back as he rubbed them briefly. Before him lay the Yamanaka clan archives, over a hundred years of information on the shinobi arts lay within it—all the clans most precious techniques, their research on chakra and all its intricacies, it’s influence on the mind and the human body…and yet he couldn’t find anything that spoke of what he looked for.

That strange place Sakura had took him in her memories, the monsters that roamed it, and that  _thing_ in her head…none of his ancestors wrote of having experienced anything like it. So why had it felt so…familiar? Like he had a word for it, but it was just out of reach.

But, as he dusted off a journal and read it’s title with curiosity, he began to think perhaps he’d found where he’d heard of it before—his fathers journal. He’d never read it, having found the prospect of touching his fathers things too painful after he died, but suddenly he recalled why the sight of that chained thing in Sakura's mind felt familiar…his father had once told him a story of something similar, of a woman in their clan whose mind had split in two…was this the journal that detailed that story?

_“On the Existence of Second Minds”_ Inoichi read aloud. He quickly opened it, skimming through it until he found an entry that looked promising.

_— Entry 23, On the Existence of Second Minds, case studies_

_The mind is a curious thing. One of the most curious, I have found, would be it’s incredible ability to split itself in half, thirds, even fourths should the persons Yin energy be large enough. I’ve encountered this only twice in all my career. Once in a Konoha shinobi with no particular lineage, who will forthwith be named Patient X, and once in a shinobi from our very own clan, who will be known as Patient Y._

_Patient X was brought in on reports of unusual behavior during his guard rotations. His comrades reported sudden bursts of emotion, confusion and loss of memory from the man, as well as a strange insistence that his name was not his name. When we confronted him, he was at first sweet and kind but, upon questioning of his behavior, his face contorted and he attacked us with unprecedented viciousness. I had no choice but to forcibly subdue him, after which I did enter his mind. What I found there was beyond anything I’d ever seen before._

_In the patients mind, the world was split between black and white, like a mirror that reflected it's inverse. On either side sat Patient X, both of them staring at the reflection of the other, both of them bound with chains just as they were bound to one another. I tried separating them…but when I did, I was ejected from Patient X’s mind. The chains broke, and there was a terrible scream, when I came back to myself it was to find the Patient a living husk within his body._

_Because of my foolish actions, my impatience, I can only ponder on what truly happened. I theorized, however, that in rendering the chains that bound and connected them, I’d also rendered Patient X from a large portion of his own chakra. Specifically, I’d rendered him from the Yang portion of his chakra, his body—his physical energy—was still alive, but his mind—his Yin energy—was gone, untethered just as Yamanaka are when we perform our clan techniques. He, however, did not have the training to return to his body once more._

_Building off of this theory, I can only come to the conclusion that the mind, the Yin, had split itself in two, with both of them connected equally to the one Yang. I had thought that there was a ‘real’ Patient X, which must be liberated from a second, fake, personality…but I believe now that I was wrong in that assumption. They were both the ‘real’ Patient X, and by separating one of them, I separated them both…and, in doing so, also killed them both._

Inoichi stopped for a moment to take the information in, humming thoughtfully. It was close, but not entirely what he’d seen in Sakura’s mind. The chains were similar, but there had been no mirror to speak of. He couldn’t bring himself to think of that thing as the ‘real’ Sakura either…

He returned to his reading, making notes in a journal beside him as he continued.

_When I came upon Patient Y, it was some years later and the circumstances were substantially different. I had just been made clan head, after my older brother died and passed on the title to me. As clan head I was privy to things I never had been before, including the matter of one Patient Y._

_Patient Y had been born with an excess amount of Yin energy, so much so that her mind had split itself into two distinct parts, much like Patient X’s had. Her unbalanced energy was a fascinating observation by the sensor-nin helping with observations, and it once again made me regret Patient X’s quick demise. If I’d done more research, would I have found that Patient X had a similar affliction? I suppose I shall never know._

_This time I was much more cautious with the Patient. After all, the girl was of the clan—not that it should truly make a difference…but it did. This time there was much more pressure on me to find a cure, and that pressure from the clan is what eventually made me seek out the help of one Senju Mito. The first hokage’s widow, an Uzumaki by birth, and the jinchuriki of Konoha…though perhaps not for much longer, considering her age._

_I sought her out because of her clans reputation for fuinjutsu, which is known to use Yang release in its creation and Yin release in it’s activation. I wondered if perhaps her clan—before their demise—had ever seen something similar. Both the Nara and Akimichi, when questioned on it, begrudgingly agreed that they had found records of such people in their clan archives. It was my theory, and still is, that any clan with a focus on Yin or Yang release techniques may have members that would develop split personalities through use of the techniques._

_Mito-sama both confirmed my theory and destroyed many of my assumptions._

_Through her, I discovered that the Uzumaki—all of them, from birth even—had split personalities…although she didn’t call it as such, rather using the term ‘second minds.’ These second minds, she told me, were the main reason the Uzumaki were so perfectly suited for holding the nine tailed beast…as well as ‘other’ things, although I'm unsure what she meant by that._

_All my questions, and she gave me the answers so easily…so freely. Our conversation was utterly fascinating…and heartbreaking. Such secrets should never be revealed to another clan, and yet she had revealed them to me…I understood without asking why, however. Her clan were now all dead or scattered to the winds, the only other Uzumaki remaining in Konoha being her distant relative—the girl who was soon to take on the lady’s burden. I’m sure Mito-sama didn’t want the Uzumaki’s secrets to die…and so I assured her that the knowledge she’d given me never would, not as long as the Yamanaka clan still lived…and remembered._

Inoichi sat back in his chair, stunned as he skimmed the rest of the journals entries for anything more on the subject after such a heavy declaration. He found nothing more on it, besides a brief declaration that Patient Y had recovered. He knew what that meant—knew what the journal entries last words hinted at.

It meant his father had added the memory of his conversation with the late Senju Mito into the Yamanaka’s memory archives, something that was only done for the most momentous of occasions and clan secrets. He wondered if the wife of the first hokage had realized the weight of the words his father had spoken, what they meant…he thought perhaps she knew exactly what it meant, why else would she tell such things to his father, of all people? She must have known what giving him that information would mean.

The present head to the Yamanaka clan stood abruptly and stalked towards the most protected part of the archives. He needed to hear the conversation, needed to know what the woman had said—even if there was nothing that could help Sakura, it was a mystery that he would not see unsolved. This was a massive finding, and yet it was contained in a single entry in a single journal….why had his father kept it so quiet?

He waved a hand at the bowing guards that protected the massive safe as he opened it and entered quickly. They looked surprised to see him, and he understood why—he hadn’t visited the memory archives since he’d first become clan head…when his father had died. The place had felt too raw for him to visit again, but now he needed to overcome his grief for his late father and find the truth.

He stood before the altar that held all the past clan heads most important memories. The altar stood taller than two men put together, made up of dozens of elaborately carved wooden boxes. The farther back the boxes went, the more elaborate the boxes became. Past a certain point, they became less of a ‘box,’ and more of a shrine—one of the only pieces of evidence left of a time when the Yamanaka had followed the way of the Kami, just as all the great shinobi clans once had.

Inoichi approached the box that held his fathers memories, one that was adorned simply with carvings of rosemary and heather—remembrance and protection. He opened the latch with a simple swipe of his blood—the seal upon the box was the only seal that Inoichi knew how to create, a type of barrier seal that kept out any that did not have permission to open it. It was a seal that had been passed down from clan head to clan head for generations.

Inside, hung on wooden stand, was a bright red hair tie made of an extremely rare and unusual energy absorbing thread. Over the many generations, the Yamanaka had developed a way to use this material—made from a plant that took many years to grow—to hold Yin energy. Clan heads would focus their Yin energy into the thread, using clan techniques, and ‘copy’ important memories or information into the threat itself to be accessed by future generations.

It was the most closely held secret of the Yamanaka clan, as well as a technique that took years to perfect—one that Inoichi himself had yet to fully realize. The best he could do was access the memories of his forefathers, and even that was difficult. A single touch was all it took—the object would suck his mind in whether he wanted it to or not and, if done incorrectly, he would lose himself in the memories of his father, and his mind would never be able to return to its body.

He took the hair tie out carefully, placing it in a thick cloth pouch without actually touching it. He would need to do this somewhere more private, where he could thoroughly focus without interruption—

“Inoichi-sama!” A guard suddenly said from behind him, “There’s an ANBU at the gate, asking to see you!”

Inoichi turned in surprise, pocketing the cloth pouch. He didn’t bother asking who it was, instead extending his senses outward until he hit a chakra signature on the edge of the Yamanaka clan grounds. It vaguely felt familiar…meaning he’d definitely met the person before, but hadn’t enough contact with them to recognize their signature completely.

He gave a sharp nod to the guard as he headed out to meet them, curious as to what they could want. So focused was he on the mysterious visitor that he didn’t even notice when, as if with a mind of it’s own, the pouch in his pocket tumbled out and fell beneath a table at the entrance to the archives.

 

—

 

Sakura struggled to keep her footsteps quiet and muffled behind Ino as she tugged her down the streets of the Yamanaka compound. Her friend gripped her tight by the hand, restricting her ability to speak out against Ino’s plan.

Finally, Ino stopped before a door and Sakura found the strength to pull her hand away and speak her worries.

‘Ino…I don’t think we should be doing this.’ Sakura signed, looking around nervously. ‘Your dad said to stay inside.’

‘Don’t worry so much Sakura!’ Ino signed back at her, using Standard to maintain absolute silence, proof that they were indeed  _sneaking._ Ino gave her hair a flick before slowly opening the door and peaking inside.

‘You wanted to know more about seals right? The clan library is the best place to do that.’

Finding the coast was clear, Ino opened the door with a beaming smile, pulling Sakura in after her. Sakura pulled away again as they cleared the door way.

‘But…that’s just it, this is a  _clan_  library.’ Sakura signed the word ‘clan’ emphatically to push her point home. ‘This place has  _clan_  techniques,  _Yamanaka_  techniques…I shouldn’t be here.’

Ino grabbed her as she tried to turn and leave, a scowl heavy on her face.

“I don’t care what dad says, or about those stupid rules.” She said, speaking quietly but fiercely. “You’re my best friend…and I’ll change his mind about letting you stay here! Then you’ll be part of the clan anyways, and it won’t matter.”

Sakura looked away from Ino’s intent stare, feeling just as uncomfortable as she had that evening when Ino had brought it up the first time. She let her friend pull her across the library, defeated.

She and Ino had just minutes before been bouncing on the Yamanaka's guest bed, talking about anything and everything…and now they were sleuthing through a library that only Yamanaka’s had ever stepped foot in. Sakura felt her stomach drop with worry, wishing she’d never brought up her interest in sealing and her struggle to find any information on it. Then there was all that 'unbalanced chakra' talk that Inoichi had her worried about...Sakura knew that the seal on her forehead had at one time been draining her chakra, and she worried that perhaps it still was somehow—but of course she couldn't tell him that, not with the hokage's vow of secrecy hanging over her head.

Talking with Ino today, like old times—well, almost like old times, considering she couldn't speak—she hadn't been able to help herself from confiding her intense frustration at the lack of information on fuinjutsu. If she hadn’t confided to Ino then they wouldn’t be here, potentially about to get in serious trouble.

She should have known better with how Ino had been acting all day. Since they’d made up that morning Ino had been…overly attentive and eager to get her attention. She had no idea why her friend was acting so strange…perhaps it was just that she wanted to prove they were still friends despite not speaking for so long? Sakura wished she didn't feel the need to do that...she'd never stopped thinking of her as her friend. And as much as the idea of being Ino's family appealed to her...she also knew it was extremely unlikely to happen. No...it was impossible. 

Ino stopped at a table and turned her back to Sakura after pushing her into a seat. She began looking around at the shelves and mumbling to herself. She seemed to be looking for something, likely relating to fuinjutsu, and Sakura took the moment to admire the vastness of the place.

It was larger than the Academy library, with high ceilings and shelves absolutely pack full of tombs of all sizes. The table she sat at was made of thick wood, and she wondered vaguely if the wood itself was made of the trees from Hashirama's forest. She knew that logging in that forest was forbidden now, but the table looked old enough to have been made before the ban, just like the orphanage.

Something tickled at her foot, and she looked down beneath the table. There was a cloth pouch on the ground, the strings holding it closed were just touching her foot, as if reaching out to her. She grabbed it, pulling the pouch open and dumping it’s contents out on the table with curiosity.

It was a…hair tie? How strange.

She reached out to pick the thing up, fingertips just grasping it as Ino turned around.

“Sakura-chan I think I found something—Sakura-chan? Sakura—!”

But Sakura didn’t hear her, for her mind was suddenly awash with a torrent of scenes and images that she couldn’t comprehend. Her head swam, her vision blackened, and then her body slumped over.

 

—

 

“Yamanaka-sama.” The ANBU woman said as Inoichi came to a stop before her. “I apologize for visiting at such a late hour.”

As soon as she spoke Inoichi recognized her. It was the medic from that morning in the hokage’s home, the Hyuuga. He tilted his head at her with curiosity, taking in the mask painted to look like a bat.

“To what do I owe the honor, Bat-san?” He said, avoiding speaking her name but giving her enough to know he recognized her. “I would’ve thought you’d be…busy at this time of night.”

Himeko’s face tilted away from him just slightly, looking up at the moons placement in the sky. “There’s still a little time, Yamanaka-sama. I thought I’d take the time before my mission to give you a gift…in case I don’t have the opportunity to give it to you later.”

“I see…” Inoichi said cautiously. He wasn’t surprised at her words—he knew of what the hokage planned, and he knew there was plenty of room for things to go…badly. “What have I done to deserve such a gift, Bat-san?”

“I think it may help you with your…investigations.” She said quietly as she pulled something from a hidden pocket on her back. She held it out to him. “I also ask that you give it to the girl, when you’re done with it. She should read it.”

Inoichi took the book she held out to him, eyes narrowing as he read the title.  _‘The Way of the Kami, a guide to the spiritual and physical worlds and their relation to the pure lands’_

“What is this? A book on myths?” Inoichi said with a chuckle. “What could this possibly—”

“I heard you. This morning.” She interrupted, hands twitching at her sides. “When you were telling Hokage-sama about what you saw, in Sakura-san’s mind and I…recognized the description of that place you saw—that ‘other world’—as being uncannily similar to that of the spirit world…the realm of the Kami.”

Inoichi stiffened, eyes narrowing upon her. “I don’t believe you were invited to that meeting, Hyuuga-san.”

Himeko flinched a bit at the use of her surname, and then gave a short bow. “I apologize Yamanaka-sama…but I couldn’t help myself. I…care for the girl. I just wanted to help her, and that book may do just that.”

Inoichi looked down at the book he held, wanting to scoff. Myths. Legends. Superstitions. His clan, all shinobi really, had long ago shed such beliefs. The only ones who believed in the Kami anymore were civilians…even the Daimyo of their country only held onto such beliefs ceremonially.

He’d heard the man laugh at the civilians belief in such things the one time he’d met the Daimyo, and personally thought it rather terrible that he played at being the ‘son of a god’ that he didn’t believe existed. But, that was how he’d gained the right to rule the land of Fire—his family was descended from the Kami, so of course he had the divine right to rule…or so the civilians thought. In truth it was nothing more than full coffers during the Warring States Era that gained his family the right to rule—coffers they’d used to buy shinobi. Even now that was all it came down to really—money and shinobi.

And yet…this Hyuuga woman was giving him a book on the old ways, on a civilian religion, one that she seemed very firm in the importance of.

“I was under the impression the Hyuuga looked down on such civilian things…” Inoichi said carefully, gesturing to the book he held. “How curious that you knew so much about it as to make a connection so quickly…and where did you find this book, if I may ask?”

“You may not.” She said tensely, “I’ve already said too much, in truth. Do not push me to say more on this matter, Yamanaka-sama, I can say no more.”

“Is that an order from the hokage?”

“No.” She said shortly, and it was enough to give him pause. “Read the book. I believe you’ll find it…illuminating.”

With those final words she gave him a short nod and then turned and bound away. Inoichi watched her go thoughtfully. He read between the words she did and didn’t say, and could only think one thing—if the hokage was not the one holding her tongue, then who else could it be besides the head of the Hyuuga clan?

“Inoichi-sama!” A haggard voice rang from behind him at the gates to the compound. Inoichi turned in surprise to find the same guard he’d met earlier in the depths of the archives running towards him. “Inoichi-sama, there’s been an incident!”

Inoichi tucked the book he held into his vest, eyes sharp. “What happened?”

“It’s—the girl. The one you brought in this morning, she’s—!”

 

—

 

Danzo coughed, a slew of blood erupting from his mouth. He laughed abruptly, teeth grinding together against the pain of being impaled.

“Danzo…for your crimes against Konoha, including attempted assassination of the Hokage, refusal to follow orders, and the attempted kidnapping of Konoha civilians, I sentence you to death.” The hokage’s voice was whispered and full of pain. “It is with a heavy heart I do this, old friend.”

Slowly, with a shaking hand, Danzo touched the wood that stuck straight out from his chest. His lungs were filling with blood but still he laughed. Finally he looked up to meet the eyes of his ‘old friend.’

He could not die here. Konoha needed him, as much as it’s occupants thought otherwise in their pathetic naivety.

“I admit, Hiruzen…I miscalculated.” A hacking cough interrupted him, and Danzo wheezed. "I thought for certain your mindless attachment to the past would push you to take my hand. Especially against a common enemy."

"...You are my former teammate. My friend even, once." The hokage said sadly, "But it is exactly the past that has shown me you cannot be trusted."

"Hmph. Perhaps you are learning a bit, old  _friend,_ " Danzo mocked with a chuckle, “and now...it seems…my time in Konoha has ended.”

Hiruzen’s eyes narrowed on him as Danzo’s hand formed a seal. The once councilman met the hokage's gaze, anger warring with a sense of glee. For so long he’d cowered in Hiruzen’s shadow, hidden his true strength, his true ambitions…but now there was no point to that was there? Now, he could show his old teammate who was truly the strongest.

“Izanagi.” He whispered. His arm pulsed beneath it’s wrappings, and suddenly he was staring not at Hiruzen’s front but at his back. Wind natured chakra burst from his mouth only moments later, his lungs no longer filled with blood but with power, his body free from the beam of wood that had impaled him. He reveled in the power of it, the control he wielded over reality itself through the sharingan imbedded in his arm.

The wind bullets sped towards the hokage, who was still staring in startled amazement at the empty space where Danzo once had been. But Hiruzen was not known as the ‘God of Shinobi’ for nothing, and he easily avoided Danzo’s rear attack by throwing up an earth wall at the last second.

In the next few moments, several things happened at once. From all sides Danzo’s lurking ROOT agents burst from the trees and the ground, attacking the ANBU that encircled Danzo and the hokage. Hiruzen went on the offensive quickly, turning his earthen wall into a mudslide that aimed to entrap Danzo’s feet, and Kinoe—or Yamato as he was called now—sent a flurry of growing wooden spikes careening towards the ex-councilman.

His arm pulsing once more, Danzo forced the wooden spikes bearing down on him in opposite directions. They changed direction under his will, blooming around him like a cage rather than stabbing through him.

“Did you forget that it was  _I_ who taught you wood release, Kinoe?” Danzo sneered, taking a kunai out and slicing through the wooden cage that now surrounded him. “I was your first teacher—I know your every move before you even make it!”

Danzo appeared behind the ANBU agent, the one he’d once raised and taught and fostered in ROOT. He felt only disappointment looking down at the boy that was now a man, who held all the potential of the first hokage in his DNA, all of it squandered on Hiruzen’s ‘Will of Fire.’

He struck, using his chakra wind to surround his kunai and extend his range. The blade of wind cracked through the the Cat mask, shattering it into a dozen pieces. Kinoe twisted backwards, flipping away from him and using wood release in his wake to keep Danzo at a distance.

Behind him Danzo sensed the hokage spring from the earth and he turned just in time to block Hiruzens attack. His kunai sparked against the man’s staff, the one Danzo had alway looked at disparagingly whenever it was used.

Of all the weapons to choose, and he chose a  _staff?_  It suited him, Danzo supposed, a weapon that was as hard as diamonds and yet had no blade upon it. It was a weapon to ‘protect’ Hiruzen had always said, ‘rather than kill.’

Wind erupted around them as Danzo’s chakra whipped about in slicing waves towards Hiruzen. It pushed him back, just as it also caused the wrappings around his arm to fall in spirals to the ground. Hiruzen stared intently at the now uncovered arm and Danzo smirked as he held the sharingan imbedded arm up to the moonlight. The pupils spun and twitched in all directions, red and glowing with power.

“Do you see? All the power that you could have had at Konoha’s disposal—and you waste it by attacking me. You call me a traitor…but who is really the traitor here?” Danzo clenched his fist, “You betrayed Konoha long ago, when you took the hat and sowed seeds of weakness in this village!”

Danzo pulled several shuriken from his sleeve, taking a deep breath as he coated them with spiraling wind chakra while simultaneously spitting wind bullets. Hiruzen sprung backward at the barrage, using his staff to send his own wind blasts to redirect the shuriken that barreled towards him.

“Konoha is my home! I have done nothing but protect that home and it's people, this family that is my village!” Hiruzen growled as his hands flashed through a series of hand signs, “To you, this place is nothing more than another organization to use, and it's people, only pawns in you schemes! I realize that now, I realize—you will never understand the will of fire.”

With a deep breath, Hiruzen finished his hand seals and then the air burned with a sea of fire. The great burst of fire swarmed the area, crashing towards Danzo with the ferocity of the sun. It singed his hair as it burst over the earth wall he'd created to protect himself, cracking the wall with its heat and intensity.

The display of the man’s elemental jutsu expertise burned at Danzo's pride. It was always something that he hated, his inability to reach Hiruzen’s level of proficiency with all the nature affinities. In his brief distraction over Hiruzen's jutsu, Danzo almost didn’t notice the reappearance of Kinoe, who sprung from behind him and gained his attention with two fuma shuriken.

Danzo dodged just barely, the fuma shuriken striking hard into the ground just as roots burst from beneath him in an attempt to entangle him. With a burst of wind natured chakra, Danzo sprung upwards—but it wasn’t high enough, the roots were too fast.

“Tch! You’ve become quicker Kinoe.” Danzo snarled, forcing the roots to change their direction back towards the ex ROOT member. He landed with a grimace, rubbing at his pulsing arm. The first hokage’s DNA within the arm allowed him to use wood release, but it came at a cost of using a large amount of chakra. He would never be able to use wood release as easily or as extensively as Kinoe did, and the more he was forced to do so the lower his reserves became.

The roots speared into the ground around the man, but Kinoe avoided them masterfully as he glared at Danzo.

“My name is not Kinoe—not anymore. It's...it's Yamato.” he said, to which Danzo scoffed. Kinoe scowled, attempting to attack Danzo once more, but his actions had gained the attention of one of the surrounding ROOT agents, who quickly engaged him in intense battle to keep him distracted.

Suddenly a smoke cloud burst, and Danzo looked down to see the two fuma shuriken that Kinoe had thrown were no longer imbedded in the earth. Two identical Hiruzen’s burst from the clouds of smoke, a flurry of attacks pushing Danzo backwards where a third Hiruzen waited with water bullets.

With a curse, Danzo performed a quick replacement jutsu, the water bullets splintering a log of wood rather than him. He didn’t get much of a break however, as soon the three Hiruzen were converging on his new location, slicing through the ROOT members that tried to keep them at a distance.

Danzo’d used wood release twice now, and Izanagi once, as well as several other elemental justus…his reserves were running low. He looked around, seeing his ROOT members being cut down even as they took their enemies with them. Kinoe finished off his attacker with a brutally efficient wood spike, his unmasked face turning towards Danzo instantly. Beside him, an ANBU appeared, a shock of white hair on his head and Danzo knew there was a sharingan spinning beneath his mask.

He was quickly becoming outnumbered. It was time to make the final move in this game.

Hiruzen stabbed towards him, his two clones flanking him from behind. Danzo put up a good show of struggling to hold them off, using a few more wind jutsu to attempt to push them back. Hiruzen countered the wind attacks with earth while each of his clones began forming hand seals simultaneously.

From the side came a great water dragon, from the back a giant sea of fire, and from the front, spikes of solid rock. Danzo jumped up and away from Hiruzen's attacks, but from above a Chidori chirped, and moving spikes of wood awaited him. He closed his eyes, one hand forming a seal, and did nothing to stop the screaming lightning from slamming through his chest.

_Izanagi_

His eyes opened, but he was far away from the battle, in his house. He saw the Chidori dissipate in a show of sparks, the wood beams slamming into the nothingness where he once was. The courtyard of his home was once beautiful, but now it was a desecrated mess of death and destruction.

He spared a brief contemptuous glance to the burning cherry tree in the center, its blossoms gone but it’s branches burning in a mockery of the flowers they once held. He turned, using the moment of confusion over his disappearance to rush towards his hidden safe.

Hiruzen of course pinpointed his location quickly, but the last of his ROOT agents converged at the door to hold the remaining ANBU and their leader at bay. Their sacrifice gave him just enough time to use his sharingan to open the hidden door in his room that lead deep into the bowels of the earth.  He closed it behind him. Any remaining ROOT agents were trapped, but he didn’t mourn them—there were more, beyond the walls of Konoha, and he knew he would rebuild what he had lost today. He careened down the long tunnel, dark and smelling of damp, listening intently for any sign of pursuit.

It took less time than he thought it would. He knew he should’ve killed that Hatake boy before he left, if only because he was sure to use his sharingan to open the tunnels entrance. The ANBU captain was a prodigy, a genius…he knew it was only a matter of time before he figured it out. If only the boy had taken his offer to join ROOT…

The sound of footsteps resounded behind him and Danzo grimaced. No matter. He had a back up plan…he just needed to get a little further. Just…a little more—

Danzo stopped, reaching the point where the tunnel changed from damp earth to that of soldered metal. He turned, placing a hand on a seal that was carved into the metal’s surface. He saw Hiruzen’s face pop up in the distance, their eyes meeting. His lips curved up into a smile, and he saw the Hokage’s face fall in sudden realization.

For all the man’s idiocy, he wasn’t truly stupid. He knew exactly what was about to happen—he'd been alive too long, seen too many wars, not to. Danzo would pulse his chakra through the seal just once, activating it, and the tunnel would collapse. Hiruzen was close enough—he could make it to the entrance where Danzo stood before the explosions but…

But that would mean he’d leave all the ANBU agents farther behind him in the tunnel to their death. Would he kill Danzo or would he save his shinobi?

Hiruzen turned on his heel, speeding back the way he came, and Danzo sneered as he activated the seal. The metal door sealed shut as soon as he activated it, cutting off the fire that bloomed on the other side. He could hear them though, the explosions. They started close and moved outwards like a chain reaction, and Danzo wondered if the hokage would make it out before they reached him.

He certainly wouldn’t complain if he didn’t…although it would leave quite the power vacuum in Konoha. One that he was absolutely certain he would not be able to fill in the foreseeable future…not with the reputation he was sure to have now. No, not until he learned better how to control this eye he now had, the one that he’d taken from Uchiha Shisui—the one which may one day give him the ability of Kotoamatsukami…the ability to control the minds of others and turn them to his will. 

Danzo burned silently with anger as he stared at the closed metal door. He’d been forced from his very home, from the very place he’d always done his best to protect. The idea that it was that weakling of a hokage, who believed the village was a  _family_ , who believed that mercy was a  _strength_  rather than a weakness, who thought shinobi should walk in the light rather than the shadows…it had him shaking with rage.

But…for now, he needed to regain his strength, he needed to rebuild ROOT from the ashes, and he needed to continue to work from the shadows for the betterment of Konoha.

Danzo was used to the shadows, they’d never bothered him—in fact, he  _thrived_  in them, as a shinobi should. He’d just need to creep a little deeper into the darkness, grow his roots a little deeper and stronger…and perhaps make a deal with the snakes that crawled just above him.

 

—

 

They’d been so close…

That’s all that Kakashi could think, was that they’d been  _so close_ to getting out in time. Close enough that some of them had…and some of them hadn’t.

He stared now at those that hadn’t, the rubble and destruction of Shimura Danzo’s estate, interspersed with the bodies of the crushed ANBU that hadn’t made it out in time. The sight of it put him on edge, made his teeth grind, though he wasn’t sure why—he’d seen plenty of dead comrades in his time…though never this many all at once.

Behind him those that had made it out stared in shock at the ruins, parts of it still on fire and sending acrid smoke into the area. The scent of it had Kakashi’s sensitive nose burning, disrupting his usual ability to tell who was where by smell alone. It made him even more twitchy—because he couldn’t tell who was alive and who was dead.

“Taicho!” A voice called to him, and he swung around to see the grim face of Yamato. “We need to assess the damage. What are your orders?”

Kakashi blinked and looked around suddenly. Why was he asking him? Shouldn’t he be asking—

“Where’s the hokage?” He said suddenly, only to see Yamato frown. Kakashi’s chest tightened—he’d been sure that the hokage had been right behind him…sure that he’d seen him clear the estate before the explosion—hadn’t he?

“Find the hokage. Those are my orders.” Kakashi said, voice suddenly gravel on his ears. “We’ll split into two teams and scour the rubble. Any ANBU with medical ninjutsu be at the ready and lookout for any survivors. Any with Water ninjutsu and chakra to spare will help put out the fire.”

With a nod the gathered ANBU split quickly, they didn’t need any further orders. Yamato headed one, Kakashi the other and then they began the search.

His mind was buzzing, a feeling of dread deep in the pit of his stomach. 

“Hokage-sama!” It was Bat that found him, and Kakashi was never more grateful to have the medic on his team, even if she did have too many family hangups for his taste.

“I need help! Quickly now, we need this rubble off of him!”

The ANBU captain moved immediately to where her voice sounded from, intent on helping, but his feet came to a sudden stop at the scene before him. From his angle he saw the hokage, slumped on the ground and half covered in a giant piece of rock, and suddenly he knew why he'd been so on edge. All of this...it was too familiar.

For a moment, he didn’t see the hokage. For a moment, he saw someone else trapped beneath the rubble—and he couldn’t breath.

“—aicho! Taicho! Wolf!” The sharp voice of his squads medic snapped him out of it, “What are you doing? Help me get this rubble off of him!”

With a burst of movement, Kakashi grabbed at the rock, enhancing his muscles with chakra, and she mirrored him. He kept his mind purposefully blank as they lifted the rock off of him. He was almost relieved to look down and see that the rock hadn’t crushed the hokage’s face—that would be too much even for him to handle.

“Hokage-sama, hang in there…” Bat murmured fervently. Her hands glowed, lighting up the dark space, as she started a diagnostic jutsu on the hokage’s prone form.

“You’re bleeding.” Kakashi said to Bat, not in a way that suggested worry but just as an observation. She was the medic here, and if she passed out from blood loss then the hokage would truly have no chance.

“I know. It’s manageable.” Bat said, teeth clenched and brow furrowed in concentration. “Hokage-sama’s injuries however…are most certainly not.”

Kakashi swallowed thickly. “What can be done?”

“His left leg is crushed, his pelvis shattered, and he’s lost too much blood as it is. I’m no Tsunade but…I’ll do all I can to stabilize him so we can transfer him to the hospital.”

Kakashi turned away from the scene just in time to see Yamato appear beside him. He was covered in soot and looked rather shaken to see the hokage lying there, face wane and body limp. Kakashi found it strange to be looking at his unmasked face while he still wore his own.

“Report.” Kakashi said without his usual ANBU professionalism. Still, it was enough to focus Yamato back on the present.

“Taicho. We’ve recovered the bodies we could and done a head count.” Yamato look briefly away from him. “There…are only five that survived the explosion that we found.”

Kakashi briefly closed his eyes. Five. Combined with the six that had made it out before the explosion, that made eleven left. That meant that nearly three quarters of the contingent sent on his mission were dead. Kakashi had assumed there would be a fight when he realized the hokage intended to confront Danzo but…this…

As the last Hatake stared down at the dying hokage before him, at the dead ANBU comrades that lay only feet away…he couldn’t help but think this mission had been a colossal failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, another cliffhanger...sorry everyone! I'm interested to hear what you all think of the battle scene in particular - I've never really written one that intense before. Also, was the Yin and Yang explanation confusing? I'm always really worried about info dumps and explaining complicated things...
> 
> Also - I'm officially over 100k!!! Am I a long fic now? GASP


	12. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I'm sure you'll have noticed that I changed the name for this fic. This is because...I was getting sick of not being able to spell my own fic title without copy and pasting it. The meaning is still the same in essence, it's just in english now and much easier to remember and spell :) Sorry for any confusion! I know it's pretty far into this story to change the title :/

_ “In every conceivable manner, the family is a link to our past, bridge to our future.” _

\- Alex Haley

 

—

 

“Ino! What are you doing?!” Inoichi bellowed as he swept through the entrance to the archives. He could just see his daughter on her knees beside Sakura's slumped figure, but what worried him was his daughters outstretched hands, fingers formed into the Yamanaka seal for the mind transference jutsu.

Ino startled and turned to look up at him, tears in her eyes. Inoichi’s hand swiftly came down and broke the point where her finger tips met, pushing her hands away from each other for good measure.

“I—I was just—she wasn’t waking up! Her mind—I can feel it—it’s just…something’s wrong with it!” Ino cried, although she didn’t try to perform the jutsu again now that her father was looming over her.

“You haven’t even completed your training with that jutsu yet! What have I told you about attempting clan techniques without supervision?” Inoichi rebuked, the fear he’d felt at seeing his nine year old daughter trying something so dangerous fading. “You could’ve lost yourself outside your body, lost yourself in Sakura’s mind. That certainly wouldn’t help anyone, now would it?”

“…No.” Ino said, looking down. There was a bit of obstinate anger in her eyes at being chastised for something she believed had been the right thing to do, but it quickly faded to guilt. “I—I just wanted to help. I just wanted…to do something right for once…”

Inoichi’s eyes softened, and he reached out with a sigh to pat his daughters head. He kept his face stern though when she looked up at him.

“You can help by telling me what happened.” He looked over at Sakura, lying prone on the floor, and he could feel what Ino meant by something feeling ‘wrong’ with her mind. He didn’t fail to notice what it meant that his daughter could feel it, feel the ‘emptiness’ of Sakura’s body…in any other situation he would’ve smiled at the discovery that his daughter was a burgeoning sensor-nin like him, but now was not the time.

“I don’t know…we came in here looking for books on sealing…” Ino flinched a bit at Inoichi’s narrow look, but continued, “…and when I turned around she was just lying there under the table…”

Inoichi crouched down, reaching out more fully with his senses to feel out her energy. He placed a hand on her head to help focus himself. He felt a tiny pinprick of something deep within her, a flash of light, and he followed the feeling of Yin energy along her neck, past her shoulder, down her arm to where it finally stopped at her hand. 

Opening his eyes Inoichi looked down at the girls clenched fist in confusion. It was almost as if her mind was fully contained within it…but was tethered by a single thread back to her body. He gently unfurled her fingers, and promptly sucked in a deep breath in horror.

“What? What is it?” Ino said, peering over his shoulder with worry. “A…hair tie?” 

“No…not truly.” Inoichi murmured, his hand going for his pocket only to find it empty. He closed his eyes in sudden realization, “That…is a Yamanaka memory thread.”

Behind him, the guard gasped and squirmed a bit, but Ino only looked on in confusion. She was too young for such secrets…although it seems he'd have to tell her now. Inoichi glanced back at the guard, who looked nervous—likely because it was his job to guard the threads and he thought it his fault. He shook his head—this was no ones fault but his own…

“Take Ino back to the house.” Inoichi said to the man. “And send for another guard to watch the entrance…I want no one coming in or out of this place. Do you understand?”

The guard nodded rapidly, putting a hand on Ino’s shoulder to lead her out, but she resisted.

“But—Dad—”

“Ino. We’ll speak later.” Inoichi said, putting on his best ‘disappointed father’ look. She flinched a bit, making him feel terrible, but let the man lead her away. 

Ino would need to be spoken to—she’d broken several clan rules by bring Sakura to the archives, and on top of that had nearly attempted a clan jutsu far outside her current capabilities…but that was a problem for another day. For now…he had to try and pull Sakura’s mind back into her body by that delicate string that still connected her to her body.

He couldn’t touch the memory thread…putting his own mind into the mix would only complicate things…but he could anchor her, and slowly, _slowly_ , pull her back.

Hopefully.

 

—

 

There were a swirl of unrecognizable colors, scenes and noises that bombarded Sakura—it was a wall of sound, a veritable whirlwind of voices and faces and Sakura could not close her eyes against it. She had no breath, no eyes, no eyelids, no body…until suddenly she did, and that body was being grasped by it’s center and  _pulled_ to a stop.

The swirling colors and noise stopped, and Sakura only had a moment to orient herself before her eyes were opening and her body moving forward without her command, with her powerless to do anything but let her body be moved.  Finally, when whatever master pulled her strings brought her to a stop, Sakura’s eyes finally focused on the scene in front of her. 

The dark windowless room of the Yamanaka archives was gone, the book lined walls replaced by walls of wood and paper, the beam floor now changed to sweet smelling tatami mats, the night turned to day. The sun was shining through the shoji’s translucent washi paper and wood frame, casting blurry shadows down on the floor—the very familiar floor. Sakura realized she recognized where she was…this was the orphanage. The very room she had met Naruto and Tenten in, the very room she’d slept and cried and laughed in these past months.

Sakura blinked hard to disrupt the illusion, even trying a burst of chakra to disrupt her system—but there was no chakra to call upon and her fingers only faintly tingled as they shut the shoji door without her permission. At least she could take comfort in the fact that their were no towering trees that didn’t feel like trees, or strange hovering creatures in the distance that wished to kill her—yet anyways.

Fear warred with confusion as Sakura tried desperately to take control of her body, to no avail. She blinked in shock when she realized those fingers that had closed the door, the very ones attached to her body, were decidedly _not hers._ Her body turned around and then suddenly bowed, and when she rose her eyes settled upon a stately elderly woman that sat in the center of the room.

“Mito-sama.” Sakura said in a voice not her own, “Thank you for seeing me.”

“Of course, Inojin-san…it’s a pleasure to have you.” The woman gestured to a floor pillow that lay on the other side of the low desk in front of her. “Please, sit. I’ve been expecting you.”

Inojin nodded and sat before her. Sakura struggled to understand what was happening. It seemed that was her life now—always confused and half in the dark, trying to catch up but always so far behind…

Her eyes, Inojin’s eyes, alighted on a mirror that stood on the desk. The visage that stared back at her was not her own, instead, she stared back at the face of a man that could be Inoichi’s twin…though a bit older and shorter of face. 

She realized suddenly that she was in the body of a man…a man that was most definitely related to her best friends father, which was so strange she couldn’t even put the feeling of strangeness into words.

“Mito-sama…I’ve come here to ask you something entirely too personal for one such as me to ask—“

“Oh hush now.” Mito interrupted, waving a weathered but strong hand at him dismissively, “I know of what you wish to ask, and it’s rather more personal for you than I.”

Inojin looked up, startled, his mouth snapping shut when he looked into the woman dark knowing eyes. 

“You are here to ask if I know of a way to help that Yamanaka woman, correct? Trying to unravel the mystery of her mind, the mystery of all those before her that have come and go…” Here she paused, taking a book out from within the confines of her desk. “There have been others before you who have come seeking answers…the answer may not be what you wish to hear, Inojin-san. Are you prepared for the truth?”

Inojin, or Sakura really, looked down at their lap in thought. She had no idea what this ‘Inojin’ that she seemed stuck within was thinking…but Sakura herself was preoccupied with trying to place who the woman before her was.

The name was familiar…but her identity evaded her. She was a beautiful woman anyways, even despite her obvious age, her hair still dark red and thick upon the crown of her head—the style reminded her sharply of Tenten, and the thought of the Senju obsessed girl was the last piece of the puzzle. 

Mito, Inojin had called her. As in Senju Mito? The wife of the first Hokage, one of the founders of Konoha? _That_ Mito?

“Yes. Mito-sama, whatever answers you have, whatever solution you can give me, I will hear it willingly.” Inojin’s hands clenched upon his knees. “Iori—the woman’s life is at stake here. She cannot live, she cannot function, the way she is now. Please. I need to know if there’s a way to rid her of her affliction.”

“Ah, yes…her ‘affliction.’” Mito sighed, flipping idly through the book in front of her. “Such a terrible thing to call it. Had she had the necessary training, she would not be so ‘afflicted’…but then you all forgot such things long ago, so I suppose there’s no helping it is there?”

“Pardon?” Inojin said in surprise, and Sakura tried valiantly to catch up to the conversation. If she was stuck here then she might as well listen, after all. She’d never been one to give up an opportunity to learn.

Mito stopped her page flipping to level Inojin with a considering look, her hands folded before her. “You care for her at least. I can see it in your eyes…perhaps more than just as clan head, no?”

“I—of course not! She’s…she's my second cousin…and much older than me.” Inojin sputtered, to which Mito only laughed gently.

“Because that matters to a shinobi clan? At least your clan marries outside it's own most times...unlike the Uchiha and the Hyuuga. And what is age in the face of love?  It certainly was no object for me—after all, I knew long ago I’d outlive my husband…although I hadn’t thought it would be by quite so long.” Mito sighed and turned the book to face Inojin, pointing at it.

“Do you recognize this, Inojin-san?” She said, and Inojin dutifully leaned over the book to look at it. He took a moment and then slowly shook his head.

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t…this is the seal that will solve your Iori's problems.” She said, tapping it carefully. “It will seal her extra Yin chakra within a part of her body, separating it from her other mind and allowing you to cut her second mind off without killing her, although it will destroy whatever body part you seal it into. She will live though, unlike that last poor man that you tried to ‘cure’ of his affliction.”

Inojin looked up, startled. “How did you—”

“I may be old and retired from shinobi work, but I am still a member of Konoha’s council.” Mito huffed. “I keep track of what goes on in this village—although I do wish I’d heard of the poor boy before you tried to fix him.”

“I…was overzealous in my attempts to solve the problem. I should’ve done more research into whether others had suffered similar afflictions as he had, looked for records of others with multiple personalities within the Konoha archives, as I have done now.” He admitted with a regretful look.

“Multiple personalities…an interesting way to put it. Though is the mind really just a ‘personality?’ Is it not more than that? I would assume the Yamanaka more than anyone would think so…”

“Well…we’ve long said that the mind is the sum of a person, their memories, their thoughts…their souls, if you believe in such things.” Inojin hummed thoughtfully, “But truly I am not sure what else to call it other than that…”

“The Uzumaki always referred to them as ‘second minds’…and those that had them were often named shamans.” Mito said, “Once, all the great shinobi clans had one such person…but that was long ago. Far before even I was a young child. I am not surprised you could find no reference to them in your searches.”

“Shamans?” Inojin laughed, “Of course I knew that all the shinobi once followed such civilian superstitions but…what does that have to do with these ‘second minds?’”

Mito watched with with amused eyes, but Sakura had a feeling she was not amused for the same reason that Inojin was. “Where do you think the mind goes when it is not within the body? Where does _your_ mind go when it jumps from person to person? Does it just travel on the wind? Through the earth? It is a thing that is affected by the physicality of this world?”

Inojin hesitantly shook his head. “Well…no. That would make it much too easy for others to stop our clan technique. A well placed rock wall would sever our connection, a burst of wind would float our Yin energy away from it’s destination…”

“Perhaps then, when the mind leaves the body…it travels through someplace else, hmm?”

“Are you suggesting…that theres another world besides our own? A…’spirit world,’ like the myths of old?” Inojin said quietly. There was a bit of amusement left in his voice, but it was tempered by interest. “Surely if there was, there would be some record of it? And if our mind truly does go through this ‘spirit world’ then would we not have seen it?”

“Are myths not records?” Mito chuckled. “What does your ‘afflicted’ Yamanaka say about such things? Perhaps you should ask her.”

Inojin sits back suddenly, “She…when she’s not herself, when she’s that _other_ person she often speaks of a place full of monsters, of giant trees, and a cold green light. She says she’s frightened of it, of being there…I always thought it was just some strange delusion.”

If Sakura could gasp, she would. The description fit so perfectly, fit that other place she'd found herself in not so long ago…that place she’d left Daisuke to die in. 

And the woman they spoke of, 'Iori,' Sakura had begun to piece together just what her ‘affliction’ truly was—she’d had an Inner, hadn't she? Like Sakura once had...but, never once had Inner mentioned that strange place to her, like the Yamanaka woman’s seemed to have.

“How do you know so much on this subject, Mito-sama?” Inojin said suddenly. “Why are you, of all the avenues I have searched, the only one to have the information I seek?”

“Well, why did you come to me in the first place? Perhaps you will find your answer there.”

“I—I thought perhaps the Uzumaki may have seen something like this before, as the Nara and Akimichi had…because the Uzumaki are known to specialize in Yin and Yang release, just as our clans are. And of course…though you are now a Senju, you were once an Uzumaki…one of the last now.”

Inojin’s words trailed off, and Mito’s face darkened. 

“Yes…one of the last.” She murmured sadly, “Only Kushina will be left after my passing…at least here in Konoha.”

There was a moment of silence, of remembrance of the dead, and Sakura tried hard to wrap her mind around the new information she’d gained. Senju Mito…Uzumaki Mito…Uzumaki Kushina…

Was Naruto…related somehow to this woman, the first lady of Konoha? To this ‘Kushina?’

“You were correct in your assumption that the Uzumaki had seen such a thing before…in fact, we are more aware of the existence of second minds than any other, truly, as every single one of our clan are born with one.” Mito said softly, causing Inojin to gasp. “It is what makes us the perfect subjects to seal the nine tailed beast within…as well as other things.”

“What do you mean?”

“My…you certainly have many questions Inojin-san, especially considering I’ve already given you what you came here for.” Mito said with a raised brow and a glance at the seal he now held.

“I—of course, I apologize Mito-sama…such questions are intrusive and surely clan matters.” Inojin bowed in apology, his eyes tracing the seal in his hands—the seal that would save the afflicted Yamanaka woman. “But…I just want to understand what this seal will do, truly. I wish to ensure that she is…safe, and unharmed.”

Mito smiled then, wistfully. There was a long pause before she seemed to come to some sort of decision, and she answered. “Our second minds allow us to keep the nine tailed beast separate from our consciousness—we sacrifice it to contain and trap the beast. Two consciousness' in one body…both struggling for control…it will lead only to madness. It is why so many other jinchuriki lose themselves.”

Sakura knew what the nine tailed beast was—knew the stories of it’s attack on Konoha from every October 10th festival…knew that once there had been a jinchuriki in Konoha that had contained it, just as there were jinchuriki in the other nations. They hadn’t said as much in the Academy, but there had been enough history books on the founding of the great nations in the library that she’d figured it out.

Had that jinchuriki been an Uzumaki? What had happened to them? What had happened to unleash the beast? The stories were never clear…they only ever said that the beast had been unleashed and defeated by the Fourth’s sacrifice…but now Sakura couldn’t help but wonder…

“This is what has happened to you lady, Inojin-san. She was never trained to keep her second mind separate from her body, and it is driving her mad. The Uzumaki have never had this problem, have always known intuitively what to do…but I know others must be taught to control it…or seal it away.”

“I see…and this will seal it away.” Inojin shook his head. “Why is this not more widely used? I don’t understand…the Yamanaka are not the first to have such a problem with one of their own, why is this seal not known?”

“It is a more dangerous seal than you realize, Inojin-san…once, long ago, another clan did come to us asking for a way to seal away their second minds—their excess Yin energy.” Mito said, frowning. “From the records, it was during the first years of the Land of Fire's Daimyos' ban on shinobi following the Way of the Kami…they needed to do away with their shamans, turn them into normal shinobi lest the Daimyos' decide not to use their services anymore, pushing them into destitution…and so the Uzumaki gave that seal to them...ostensibly to protect themselves.”

Sakura watched through Inojin’s eyes as Mito’s shoulders slumped, the imposing woman seeming suddenly very sad and small.

“Alas...it was a mistake, for they did not use the seal as it was intended, though the Uzumaki did not know as such until much later. They corrupted it to their own purposes, using it to chain all their supposed ‘lesser’ members’ chakra to their eyes—it was a failsafe they said, to protect the clan’s doujutsu…but I saw through that pathetic excuse. I knew, should they wish, that they could cut their clan members off from their chakra entirely with a single hand sign, destroying their eyes and it's doujutsu, yes…but also killing them.” Mito scowled, eyes distant as if lost in memory.

“I only know such a thing because I saw it with my own eyes when that clan joined this village. They thought I would not recognize a bastardized Uzumaki seal…but I did. Oh, how angry I was that day…to see something meant to protect turned into something that _enslaved._ ” She shook her head, “It was something I never quite forgave Hashirama for…making me turn a blind eye to it all in the name of ‘peace.’”

“You mean…the caged bird seal? The Hyuuga…” Inojin murmured with horror, and though Sakura did not understand what his words meant, she could not help but feel the same horror at the idea of such a seal. “I…had not realized this was…”

“That seal is a one time use.” Mito said, her scowl lessoning. “And of course I know you will not be able to copy it—there are no fuinjutsu masters within your clan, but should you try…I will know, and I will not be pleased, do you understand?”

Inojin nodded, “I understand…but…what if this happens again? Perhaps not in a generation, or two, or three but…it will happen again, our records prove that. What will I do once you are gone, and your seals with you?”

The words were said gently, despite their bluntness, and Mito didn’t seem to take offense. “Well, I suppose you could go back to the old ways of doing things and train the girl or boy to be a shaman…”

Inojin sighed, a hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Even if I could find records of such ‘training,’ the elders of my clan would never agree to such a thing. They would see it only as nonsense, or worse—a threat to our clan’s prestige.”

“Well, the training would not be a problem, as I have plenty of books on such things in this very room. But I sympathize with your plight Inojin-san…truly. I’ve certainly dealt with my fair share of elder related issues—even now that I myself am the eldest.” Mito sighed deeply and tiredly. “How I wish I could let you keep the seal, Inojin-san…but I am old and weary of this world, and I do not have much trust in me left.”

“It is understandable, Mito-sama…with all that has happened. Your clan, your village—”

“This is my village. This is my clan.” Mito interrupted softly, “What is done, is done. What is gone, is gone…but in death, there is always life.”

Sakura felt a flare of recognition at those words. _In death, there is life._ The phrase was so familiar, the feeling they brought like a memory. She could almost hear the words being formed by her mothers gentle voice…

Suddenly she felt a pull at her core, like a string attached to her bellybutton being tugged. She felt her mind lurch, but she resisted the pull of it. Something told her that that string was her way out of this strange farce but…but she wanted to hear more.

“I believe I’ve heard that saying before…something from Uzushiogakure perhaps?”

“Indeed…a well worn phrase by now, one started by the first Uzumaki, the first Pure One…” Mito said, “In death, life. In life, suffering. In suffering, peace…”

“How…interesting.” Inojin said politely, though there was a frown on his face. “This ‘Pure One’ of yours was your shaman then? I’m surprised that you have records that go so far back…the first Uzumaki must have lived hundreds of years ago after all.”

“Yes, in a way he _was_ our shaman I suppose…and the Pure One’s always kept very careful and detailed records.” Mito said with a thoughtful look. She suddenly looked over her shoulder, a bitter smile lighting her face. “I knew the last one, he was like an Uncle to me in truth…”

Sakura followed Mito’s gaze through Inojin’s eyes. At the back of the room, where in the orphanage there would be rows of folded futons, hung a small painting. Inojin made an aborted move to get closer, but stopped and looked to Mito for permission. When she nodded Inojin stood and walked closer to the painting, and it was then that Sakura’s heart—could she feel it beating—would’ve stopped.

“Uzushio never had a ban on the old ways did they? Whirlpool was one of the few nations whose Daimyos' didn’t ban the practice…” Inojin said, but his voice was muffled and distant to Sakura, despite the fact the words felt as if they came from her own mouth. 

She was glad Inojin didn’t look away from the painting, for she could not look away herself. There, painted in flat colors and curving brush strokes, was a man tall and red of hair. He stood besides a young girl who Sakura assumed to be Mito back when she still bore the surname Uzumaki, and she was beaming and happy besides the dour looking man…the man who was vividly familiar to her.

_“You’re not my dad.” She whispered in fear and confusion._

_“No?” The man smiled sadly. “Who am I then?”_

_He smiled wearily, “I seem to have forgotten. A name is so important…but I can’t remember mine. I wonder…will you find it for me?”_

That man, the one she’d dreamed of…he shared this paintings face, his sad tired expression, his bright fiery hair…the only thing that differed was the marking that was upon his forehead. Two round little circles, painted a brilliant green, staring out at Sakura like she was looking in a mirror.

She was glad Inojin was breathing…for she suddenly felt like she’d forget if she had control of her body. She retreated into herself, her thoughts a jumbled mess of realizations and questions.

Who was that man? Why did he have that marking (that seal?), the same as she did, on his forehead? What was this ‘Pure One’ business, was it truly a ‘shaman’ as Inojin seemed to think? What even _was_ a shaman? And…and how did Sakura fit into all this? Sakura who had once had an Inner, Sakura who had never once had trouble keeping herself and her 'second mind' seperate, Sakura whose forehead held two little green circles, Sakura who’d been to a world that no others seemed to think was real but which Mito clearly did.

Sakura, whose father was not her father, whose mother held secrets lost to death…Sakura whose hair was pink…just shades shy of red.

“I hadn’t realized the Uzumaki kept the practice going…I thought all the shinobi clans had abdicated any relation to the Way of the Kami long ago…”

“Not all of them. Not even all of them in Konoha…But yes…we never stopped, never had a choice really. There must always be a Pure One, and they can only ever be an Uzumaki—only we can bear that seal upon his forehead.” Mito said, coming to stand beside him to look upon the painting and tracing the green circles upon the man's brow. Sakura couldn't help but focus entirely on the motion of her finger, feeling as it they traced upon her own forehead.

"That mark on his forehead is a seal then? Much the same as yours?"

"Well, I did base my own seal on it's energy draining ability...but no, it's not at all like my Yin release seal." Mito said, "The two circles represent the two worlds, the spiritual and the physical, as well as the idea of the two minds that all Uzumaki have..."

She trailed off, gaze going distant suddenly as if lost in memories.

“It was supposed to be me…before I was promised to Hashirama and became the jinchuriki—then it was supposed to be my children…but then the wars took them from me…all but my one grandchild, who was too far removed from the Uzumaki bloodline to take it on. Then my village was destroyed, and my clan scattered to the four winds...”

Inojin looked over at her, taking in her drawn face. “So the line has ended then…I am sorry.”

“Perhaps.” She said quietly, meeting Inojin’s eyes. “Perhaps not.”

For a moment Sakura felt as if Mito was looking not at Inojin, but at _her_. It made the situation all the stranger, and her thoughts all the messier. She felt that pull again at her center, but she resisted it.

“Well…I’m sorry, for your loss. You seem quite close to the man in the painting…” There wasa note of discomfort in Inojin’s voice, as if he too felt pierced through by Mito’s stare. His shoulders fell in relief when she looked away from him and back at the painting.

“Yes…we were quite close. He was an uncle to me, even if he was not one in truth.” Her face bunched as she spoke with a pained sadness. “He was family, and I loved him, even after his betrayal. Even after he fell to madness.”

“Madness?” Inojin murmured softly, but Mito only turned away from him. “Mito-sama?”

“Inojin-san, it was wonderful seeing you today, but I find I tire easily in my old age.” Mito shuffled through her papers, holding out the seal to Inojin as he approached. “I think I shall retire early today…I wish your young lady the best. Please return if there are any problems with the seal.”

“Of course, Mito-sama…thank you for your time, and the seal.” He said with a hesitant bow. Mito smiled at him, an old hurt shimmering in her eyes. He did not ask any further about the man, nor shamans, nor the seal as he turned to leave.

“Oh, and one more thing, Inojin-san.” Mito called out. She had a coy look in her eye when he turned towards her. “Do _remember_ to record our meeting will you?”

Then, with a stretching pulling feeling, Sakura could no longer resist that pull at her core, and the scene disappeared.

 

—

 

It was with a gasping, flailing tumble that brought Sakura back to her own body. The world spun and her eyes struggled to adjust to the dimness of the room around her. Her skin felt too small for her body, her hair too short, her hands too small…e verything felt wrong, but right at the same time. Her mind wouldn’t stop spinning. She vaguely recognized that Inoichi was holding her shoulders, that she was laid out on the table of the archives…she could hear him speaking to her in calming soothing tones.

Sakura nodded along to his questions, gave brief and fumbling hand signs as answers. Yes she knew where she was (the Yamanaka archives), yes she was alright (A lie? She wasn’t sure honestly), yes she knew the date and who the hokage was (1948 AC, Sarutobi Hiruzen—how could she forget that? He’d been hokage forever it seemed).

After a long period of silence, and slow regular breathing, Inoichi sat her up and let go of her shoulders. Sakura sat there and stared at the man who was a near mirror of Inojin, though a bit longer in the face. She wondered suddenly if the man was Inoichi’s father, or his grandfather…she wasn’t sure of the timeline of when the first hokage's wife had been alive.

“What did you see?” Inoichi asked her gently.

What did she see? Sakura wasn’t sure. She stared at him, unsure of what to say. She settled on answering his question with another question.

‘What was that place?’ She caught his eyes firmly, but he didn’t try to avoid her gaze. In fact, he looked resigned.

“That…was a Yamanaka memory thread. My fathers, to be exact.” Inoichi sighed, even as Sakura nodded at the confirmation of her suspicions. He gestured to a pouch on the table, the one Sakura had so foolishly opened without thinking. “Touching such a thing pulls one’s mind into a vast collection of memories stored within the thread by the past Yamanaka Clan head…Only the next clan head may access it's contents. Tt is our greatest and longest kept secret.”

Sakura swallowed dryly, her throat tightening at the words. Another secret. Another thing she’d stumbled upon by being in the wrong place at the wrong time…

‘I’m…sorry. I shouldn’t have been here.’ Sakura signed, trying desperately to gather her thoughts. ‘I should’ve been stronger and told Ino no. I know I’m not a Yamanaka, that I shouldn’t have seen whatever _that_ was, I’m sorry that I keep making trouble, that I keep messing up and—and—‘

Her hands flying rapidly through the signs, Sakura could hardly tell what her own fingers were saying. Her mind seemed still separated from her body, even despite the fact she could feel every grain of the wood beneath her legs, taste the dust in the air, smell the smoke from the lit candle on the table…it all felt unreal to her. 

What was real? Was anything real? Was this world real? Or was that other worldly place the true reality? And the memories she’d just sat in on like some strange fly on a wall, were they real? Was  _she_ real?

Hands suddenly grasped her own, startling Sakura into focusing back on Inoichi’s concerned face. She hadn’t realized that her hands were no longer forming words but a seal, and that her chakra was flaring as if to disrupt a genjutsu.

“This is real, Sakura. You are real, I am real…and because we are real, we make mistakes.” Inoichi said, his voice soft and gentle just as his eyes were. “We are only human, and mistakes happen—the important thing is to not let those mistakes take over our life. Do you understand me?”

Sakura looked down, her hands trembling within his own. She couldn’t help but think that Inoichi always saw her at her worse—even when she was just a normal civilian girl playing with Ino in the backyard. She could still remember the times when he’d come out to find her plucking flowers while Ino went to get a sip of water, how he’d chastised her for killing them so thoughtlessly. They were wild flowers, he’d said, they wouldn’t survive indoors in a little vase—that’s why they were grown out here rather than in the garden. 

She remembered feeling so terrible about that flower, remember crying about it for hours…remembered Inoichi’s hand heavy on her head as he told her—

“It’s alright, Sakura. We all make mistakes, even me.” The hand on her head was suddenly a very real heavy weight, and Sakura looked up to meet Inoichi’s kind eyes. “It’s my fault for dropping that pouch…I should’ve kept a closer eye on it. My father always did say those things had a mind of their own…”

Sakura sniffled a bit, thinking as he ruffled her hair that she didn’t mind it so much when he did it, unlike that annoying grey haired Hatake guy. Ino was lucky to have a father like Inoichi—he was kind and gentle, and he knew the value of not messing up someone’s hair...and s he wished suddenly that she really was a Yamanaka, that Ino would get her wish and she’d be able to stay and Inoichi could take the spot that had been left vacant and empty by the man she’d once thought was her father.

The guilt that rushed her at the thought was nauseating. She couldn’t quite place why she felt guilty though…wanting to take on a surname once more, to be Yamanaka Sakura rather than ‘just Sakura,’ it felt like a betrayal. But why?

In the back of her mind, her suspicions swirled with an answer…one that said she already had a clan, and it wasn’t the Yamanaka. That she had never been Haruno Sakura, but that she had also never been ‘just Sakura’ either.

‘But…it’s a clan secret.’ Sakura signed slowly, throat and chest tight. ‘And I’m not a Yamanaka.’

“Yes. But no one needs to know you know about it, do they?” Inoichi said with a wink. “I just need you to tell me what exactly you saw in there, okay?”

The memory came rushing back to Sakura then, and all her doubts and questions with it. Her hands came up, and she began to tell him all that she’d seen—but she stopped right as she got to the man in the painting, the implications of those two little circles on his forehead, the secrets that they revealed.

But…they were his father’s memories weren’t they? He’d see it anyways…and she supposed she knew his clan secret now, so he deserved to know her secret too didn’t he? A secret for a secret.

It all spilled out, all her secrets revealed to this man who she wished could have been her father, but never would be. It felt good. Like a release of a tidal wave.

 

—

 

Himeko slid slowly down the wall to sit beside her squad mate. The shattered remains of his mask, destroyed by Danzo, sat beside him on the floor. She removed hers and placed it beside the broken cat mask, and he looked over at her with what she thought to be surprise on his face. She couldn’t be sure though, he had a rather wooden disposition.

“You’ve already seen my face earlier, and Wolf already knows who I am by default of being captain. No point wearing it now.” She explained. Yamato gave a brief nod in understanding. “My name is Hyuuga Himeko, pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Yamato.” He said simply, and she was grateful when he didn’t press her further about her clan name. He chuckled a bit as he looked at her from the corner of his eye.

“I’ve known Wolf was Kakashi since the beginning, and Badger has never been the best about secret identities…I think she took her mask off around me two missions in and told me her name was Yugao on the third. To be honest you were the only one of our squad whose identity was still a secret. Besides Hare that is, but he was never a part of this team in truth.” He said and Himeko gave him a strange look at revealing the third member of their squads identity to her so easily.

“You all knew each other? Isn’t ANBU’s first rule that you never take you mask off, even in front of your squad mates?” Yamato gave a nod and a shrug, and Himeko sighed. “This is the strangest ANBU team I’ve ever been on.”

“I blame taicho.” Yamato said seriously, “He’s terrible at keeping his ANBU mask on for longer than ten minutes after mission completion.”

Himeko looked over with a raised brow at where Kakashi stood without his mask on the other side of the hall.

“Ironic, considering he’s known for never taking off that mask of his…” She mumbled to herself, only to hear a huff of laughter from the man beside her. She gave a twitch of a smile to Yamato and then they descended into a comfortable silence.

“The hokage saved me, y'know. Saved me from—ROOT...saved me from myself.” Yamato said, breaking the silence. There was a stilted sound to his speech, as if he’d wanted to say a different word than ROOT but his tongue wouldn’t form the word. “He opened my eyes to what the Will of Fire truly was, he showed me that there was light everywhere, even in the darkness…he showed me that even though I had no blood relatives, that I still had family—because everyone in this village is a family...”

Himeko was quiet in the face of her teammate’s admission, surprised that he would say such things to her. She wasn’t sure what to say in the face of his blatant emotion, but she thought perhaps her silent understanding would be enough—for she did understand him, she truly did. She’d had someone like that too…and she knew how awful it was to lose them.

“Will he be alright?” Yamato said quietly, and Himeko sighed even as she’d expected the question.

“Perhaps…I did all that I could with the chakra I had left. It’s up to the other medics now…but I know since Tsunade left that the quality of the medics here has dropped significantly.” Himeko scowled briefly before her face smoothed over into a placid mask again. “If he survives the night without infection then he could have a chance at living…if you can call that a life.”

“What do you mean?” Yamato asked, eyes sharp as his voice. She frowned.

“I mean that Hokage-sama is old...and this is a serious injury.” She said severely. “His leg, hip, and pelvis crushed, his chakra coils burned and overloaded from whatever he did to try and stop those exploding seals. Not to mention chakra exhaustion, a serious head injury, and extreme blood loss…even if he lives, I’m not sure even Tsunade could fix the damage entirely. He'll likely be in a coma for a long time...if he ever wakes up at all.”

“…you don’t use a suffix.” Yamato said after awhile. “With Tsunade-sama’s name. You use one with everyone—even those you don’t need to. Did you know her?”

“Yes. I could say we’re acquainted, though I doubt she remembers me.” Himeko said, “I am in my thirties after all, I remember when she was here in Konoha...though I was young then. I remember when she left, leaving the hospital in shambles, shaming her village and leaving it vulnerable after the second shinobi war. She didn't even return when Konoha was thrown back into war less than ten years later…I do not carry her in the highest esteem, obviously.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “What you said the hokage was to you—she was that to me. I looked up to her, I…I thought she was so perfect, so strong…I was wrong.”

“No one’s perfect…everyone make’s mistakes.”

“…if she were here right now Hokage-sama wouldn’t be in this condition.” She said simply, and Yamato fell silent. “She could’ve been hokage. She could’ve changed so much, taught so many…but instead she ran away.”

They fell back into silence, a silence which was only broken when Kakashi approached them with sharp eyes. They both stood from their seat against the wall to face him head on.

“You’re relieved.” He said briskly, the exact opposite of his usual drawl. “Fresh ANBU have arrived to guard the hokage’s room while the medic-nin work. You should all get some rest and recover—”

Kakashi stopped suddenly as he looked at Himeko, his eyes narrowing. “Have you healed that wound yet?”

Himeko thought about lying briefly, but she thought better of it when she saw him take a deep breath in. His keen nose was legendary—she knew he’d smell the fresh blood still seeping from it.

“No. I used all my chakra up healing Hokage-sama…” She said with a wince. “I’ll get a medic who isn’t busy to heal it, taicho.”

“Good.” He said, looking suddenly over her shoulder. Himeko turns as he brushes past her to see him stop beside a dark haired man with two horizontal scars on the side of his face. She would recognize those eyes and spiky hair anywhere—Nara Shikaku, jounin commander and Nara clan head. She watched as Kakashi spoke to him briefly before slipping him a small slip of paper.

Himeko met Yamato’s dull eyes grimly, an understanding passing between them at the sight of the man. It could only mean one thing—the council would gather soon. Already they knew that the hokage’s seat was soon to be vacated—even if he survived there was no doubt in Himeko’s mind that the man would be unable to keep his position after such a serious injury and defeat. 

A new hokage would need to be chosen, and soon. To do that, the council to the hokage would need to gather, as well as the jounin commander, and an ANBU representative. Then, once they had made a decision, a second council would be held, where they would gather the top jounin in Konoha for a vote of confidence in their chosen successor.

Himeko could only be glad that Danzo was now as far as he could possibly get from being considered for the position—although that left very few other possible choices. Jiraiya perhaps? He was still considered a shinobi of Konoha, though he was supposedly always out of the village on spy work…she gave a considering look at Kakashi for a moment before dismissing him—too young, although he likely would be chosen as the ANBU representative considering how long he'd been an agent. So then, a clan head perhaps? That was a thought…though there would be considerable arguments against giving such power to a member of one of Konoha’s great shinobi clans…

Well…she supposed she’d know within a week—they didn’t often wait longer than that in her experience.

 

—

 

Inoichi doesn’t sleep much for the remainder of the night, and the next morning he awakes early with his mind full to the brim with myths and old stories.

He’d spent the remaining moonlight after Sakura’s explanation watching the very memory she’d said she’d watched through his father’s eyes…and the confirmation of everything she’d told him had opened his eyes to the history of his clan, to the history of all the shinobi clans in Konoha. Then he'd delved immediately into the book the ANBU woman had given him, and found nothing but further connections.

Shamans, second minds, Kami…the spirit world, the Hyuuga ANBU’s book on myths. It certainly all fit didn’t it? All of the shinobi clans had once followed the old ways, he knew that…but knowing they had a connection to this ‘spirit world’ that Sakura had shown him was surprising. Although he wasn’t convinced that ‘Kami’ resided in this world…perhaps some strange sort of chakra constructs like the tailed beasts, but no ‘gods’ and certainly no ghosts. Such things just didn’t exist. Science could explain away any myth or local legend he found, he was sure of it.

And then there was the seals…both the one that apparently predated the Hyuuga’s terrible clan seal and the one that Sakura wore upon her forehead—the one that seemingly only an Uzumaki could bear. The implications of that were clear—and not altogether surprising really, considering her hair color…although the girl had seemed rather pole axed by the idea. Inoichi himself was only surprised that Sakura did not have greater chakra reserves, as it was a well known hereditary trait. 

Inoichi wasn’t sure what to do with all this information…what could he do? He faced the same issues his father had with the elders—they all would be firmly against any training in the ‘mystical’ as he was sure they’d say disparagingly. But…he couldn’t even imagine what they could learn from that place, what advancements they could make by reaching into that unknown…

He suddenly had a dark and terrible image flash through his mind as he stared down at the two girls still sleeping in their beds. He could see the tuft of pink hair peaking out from beneath the blanked, and he couldn't help the idea that she could one day be a terror with the power that ring seemed to hold. 

He needed to speak with the hokage…he needed to see what he knew. Considering he’d kept Sakura’s seal from him, what else about this situation had he kept from him? That…and he needed to get Sakura up to snuff on seals so she could make another attempt to go to that strange world. 

“Good morning!” Inoichi said suddenly with a bright smile, sweeping the windows' curtains open. Two bed heads popped up with a groan from beneath the thick comforter on the bed. “Long night?”

“Dad…what time is it?” His daughter said with a pout, although she avoided him when he tried to catch her eye.

“Oh, about 6:00. Plenty early enough to get some training in before you head to the Academy.” He said cheerily. Ino groaned, although Sakura just looked at him expectantly. “What? I thought you’d be excited to do some training—after all, you couldn’t wait last night to drag Sakura into the archives to learn about sealing could you?”

Ino blushed heavily and suddenly looked down at the comforter as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

“That’s what I thought. Up we go then—I’ll be showing you two the basics of activating a seal today. I’m no expert, but I know how to do that much.” He said, and saw Sakura perk up a bit from her place on the bed. “Meet me outside in the garden in 15.”

By the time they reached him in the garden he’d laid out a storage seal and a kunai. He smiled and patted the ground, chuckling when Ino wrinkled her nose but complied.

“Now, activating a seal is done with purely Yin energy—do you know why?” He watched them both shake their head, “It’s because when a seal is created it’s created with Yang energy infused ink or blood, so the combination of Yin and Yang activates the seal. Chakra can’t be created without both Yin and Yang, and so nothing will happen if you only have one or the other. The ratios of Yin to Yang as well as the chakras elemental nature also differ greatly from seal to seal, which is why fuinjutsu is so difficult to use, and especially to master.”

They stared at him blankly, and he thought for a moment. “Think of it this way—you turn on a gas burner, but without a spark the burner will be useless won’t it? It will just be gas…that is, until someone adds just a little spark, and then the burner lights up—and suddenly you have fire. The Yang energy is the gas, and the Yin is the spark.”

Sakura nodded eagerly in understanding, her yes wide and bright. Ino nodded too, though a bit hesitantly. 

“Now, this here is a storage seal. You use it to store objects in, often to save space on long term missions. You place the kunai on the seal, then use just a tiny bit of pure Yin energy to activate the seal and the kunai will disappear into the storage scroll.” He placed the kunai on the center of the storage seal and pulsed some of his Yin chakra into it. He heard twin gasps when it disappeared with a little poof and smiled. “Just like that.”

Sakura reached forward for one of the kunai quickly, but Inoichi stopped her with a laugh. “Now hold on, using pure Yin energy isn’t quite like using Yin release, which you are familiar with—Yin release still contains a tiny little bit of Yang chakra. To activate this seal you must completely separate your Yin from your Yang.”

Sakura dropped the kunai with a disappointed look and signed a sheepish ‘sorry,’ which he waved away.

“That’s what this is for.” Inoichi said, pulling a stack paper from his vest. “This chakra paper will react to any chakra with Yin and Yang in it. It was developed to show shinobi what elemental affinity their chakra has, but it has a duel purpose of helping you know when you’ve completely separated your Yin from your Yang. Once you have, the paper will not react at all.”

‘How _will_ it react?’ Sakura asked quickly, eyeing the paper with interest. ‘The elemental affinity part, I mean.’

“Well, for earth it will crumble, for water it will become damp, for lighting it will crinkle, for fire it will burn to ash, and for wind it will split.” He said. He passed the paper out to each of them. “I want you to try now—do your best to separate the Yin from the Yang. I find it’s easier to identify the Yin if you meditate for awhile before you try.”

Ino and Sakura both took the paper, and immediately Ino began to pump chakra into the paper with a look of concentration. Sakura on the other hand, closed her eyes and took deep meditative breaths like she’d likely learned to at the Academy.

“Ah! Earth.” Ino said with look of surprise. Inoichi looked at her with a sigh. “What? I was curious. I’ll try for real this time, I promise.”

Next to her Sakura finally pushed a bit of chakra into her paper, and she gave a little sound of dismay when her paper turned to pulpy mush in her hands.

“Water. Interesting.” Inoichi said, thinking it made sense. Sakura seemed to be thinking the same thing, as her face paled. 

“Inoichi! You’re needed in the shop!” His wife’s voice called from behind him, and he turned with a nod of surprised acknowledgement. Who would be asking after him at this time of day?

“Well, you two will have to just keep trying. I’m sure you’ll get it eventually.” He said with a smile, gathering up the storage seal but leaving behind the chakra paper. He certainly couldn’t have them trying to use the storage seal without supervision. “I’ll be right back, girls.”

He left them with a smile on his face, but it died as soon as he entered the flower shop to see his friend and old teammate standing in front of a bouquet of four white chrysanthemums. The flowers that symbolized lamentation and grief...the number four being the number of death. He didn’t need to be the genius he knew Shikaku was to understand what it meant.

He came to a slow stop in front of the man, his face grim. “You buying those?”

Shikaku looked at him over his shoulder, a dark understanding there. “No, just looking.”

Inoichi’s shoulders slumped in relief. The hokage wasn’t dead then…perhaps just hurt, hopefully not mortally.

“Would you like some tea then, or do you plan to just hover in my flower shop all day?” Inoichi said with a quirked brow when Shikaku remained silent for a little too long. 

“No, no…I’ve somewhere to be later today. Council meeting, you know how it is—ah, politics, so troublesome.” Shikaku mumbled with a grimace, and it confirmed Inoichi’s thoughts. There was only one reason that Shikaku would be going to a meeting with the council as the jounin commander.

The council was beginning to gather to decide the next hokage. This was his friends way of warning him before anyone else knew. They were surely keeping it quiet for now, and would too until they'd made their decision. Doing anything else would only put Konoha at risk. In a few days Inoichi was sure they would call in all the jounin in Konoha for a vote of confidence on their choice of successor to the hokage…Inoichi frowned at the realization. It’d been a long time since they’d had any other hokage than the third…and a long time since he'd voted for a hokage as well. They would need to be very careful about who would replace him lest they seem weakened in the eyes of their enemies.

“I see…” Inoichi said with a frown, “In that case, at least take these for your wife—I know your anniversary is around this time of year.”

Inoichi handed him a bunch of purple hyacinths, the flower of reconciliation and apology. Shikaku took one look at them and glared at him.

“Shouldn’t you be giving me some roses or something?”

“I would, if your anniversary hadn’t been last week.”

“Oh.” Shikaku blanched, quickly taking the flowers. “Well. That explains the burnt toast every morning this week.”

Inoichi sighed. For a genius, his friend was terribly oblivious sometimes…

With a blink Inoichi palmed the piece of paper his friend had slipped into his hand when they’d exchanged the flowers. He didn’t look at it, but he did look at Shikaku curiously.

“That Hatake kid gave it to me, said you should take ‘the girl’ there, whatever that means.” Shikaku gave him a nonchalant shrug as he sniffed the hyacinths in his hand, but Inoichi could see the spark of calculation in the man’s eye. “I’ll be seeing you Inoichi—next week for shogi, same time?”

Inoichi called out an agreement as his old friend left the shop with a wave over his shoulder. He waited until he’d re-entered the garden before he looked at the slip of paper in his hand. He wasn’t surprised to see that it was an address—and he thought he had a pretty good idea of where it lead to.

 

—

 

“Can’t I just skip today?” Ino huffed at her father, to which Inoichi only gave a glare over his shoulder as response. It was the third time she’d asked that question since they’d left the house, so Sakura could understand why the man had decided to ignore her friend.

“At least let me walk with you to Sakura’s new place?” Ino begged, also for the third time. Inoichi gave a great heaving sigh and stopped in the middle of the road, his head handing down for a moment.

“Fine. But then you’re going straight to the Academy after!” He said, shouting over Ino’s sudden victory cry. He shook his head and continued on, but Sakura could tell there was a little smile on his face in amusement.

Ino grabbed her hand and pulled her along, no longer lingering at the back and slowing them down. Sakura nearly dropped the piece of chakra paper that she held in her hand, the one which had just became a pulpy soggy mess. 

She sighed and dropped the paper, happy to continue her training later. For now she was glad to walk along side Ino with their arms swinging, trying as hard as she could to stay within the moment and not worry about where exactly would be her new home.

Inoichi had only smiled apologetically when she’d asked what her new home would be like, telling her that he didn’t know anymore than she did. He was told only that this would be her new home, and given an address. He’d reassured her that he was sure the hokage wouldn’t pick somewhere she wouldn’t like, and told her not to worry about the money issues or the Academy tuition. Sakura worried anyways.

Ino hadn’t been entirely happy either that Sakura was leaving, but she was also still in hot water with her father after the other night. That had thankfully kept the girl from speaking out too harshly against the idea of Sakura leaving the Yamanaka compound, though she looked as if she’d sucked on a lemon every time she looked at her father.

‘Don’t be angry at him.’ Sakura signed to her friend as they trailed behind Inoichi. Ino only wrinkled her nose.

“I’m not,” She said, not trying to whisper at all, “I just think he’s being dumb is all.”

Sakura sighed and shook her head, giving up. She couldn’t help the little flare of anger she felt though…she thought that Ino should be more grateful to have such a wonderful father.

“Looks like we’re here…” Inoichi said, hands on his hips as he looked over the apartment building. He turned back to them and Sakura tried to give him a smile to thank him for taking her here, but she couldn’t quite manage to make the smile genuine.

“How…nice.” Ino said with another wrinkle of her nose. She gave a little scowl when her father leveled her with a baleful look. “I mean…it’s not like it’s the Daimyo’s mansion, but I guess it’s alright.”

The place was tall and made of stuccoed outer walls, harsh lines, and unadorned square windows. Sakura thought it was fine, certainly more modern than the orphanage had been...she hoped that meant it had an actual bath.

It wasn’t until a blond head popped out of one of the windows on the fifth floor that the place suddenly looked a lot more inviting though.

“Sakura-chan!” A loud squeaking voice called out from the window. The tiny head was suddenly joined by a rapidly waving arm as the boy leaned out as far as the window let him in his attempts to gain their attention. “Hey! Sakura-chan! Up here! Up—gah!”

The blonde haired boy barely caught himself in time to keep himself from falling out the window, and he smiled sheepishly down at them as he leaned a little less far out. Sakura grinned up at him and waved, a weight suddenly lifting from her shoulders as she realized what his presence here meant. Were they going to be neighbors? Or…or would they live together? Would she not have to live alone?

Suddenly Naruto popped back into the apartment behind him, disappearing. In what seemed like no time at all, he was on the ground floor flinging the door to the apartment open as he crashed towards her. Sakura met him half way, arms wide open and smile wide.  They laughed as they tumbled down on the gravel outside the apartment, and Sakura found she didn’t mind the rough feeling of the stones digging into her skin. It'd only been a two days, since she'd seen the boy, but it felt like an eternity. Behind her Inoichi cleared his throat.

“Ah, not to interrupt you but…I do hope you have a key. I wasn’t given one you see…” Inoichi said hesitantly as he gestured to the now closed apartment building door. Naruto suddenly sat straight up, a look of panic on his face.

“Crap! I totally forgot—!” He cried as he ran up to the door and pulled on the handle as if it would miraculously open again. “Aw, man I’m gonna have to talk to that scary lady again…”

Sakura was about to ask what he meant by ‘that scary lady’ when a figure suddenly appeared in front of her. Ino gave a startled cry to see the woman, although Inoichi only crossed his arms and eyed her critically.

“Scary lady I presume?” Inoichi said casually.

“Yugao.” The woman said with a sigh, producing a key from her pocket and throwing it at Naruto. She turned then to Sakura. “You’ll be living here from now on. I already brought your things from the orphanage, but if I missed anything we can return tonight.”

Sakura nodded hesitantly, still startled from her sudden appearance, Naruto had a much more exuberant response.

“Living here?!” He cried out, looking between her and the building “Sakura-chan? As in, here in this apartment?”

Yugao’s confirmation barely had the time to leave her lips before Naruto was suddenly crashing into Sakura again with all the force of a touch starved monkey.

 

—

 

Although Naruto was loathe to let her go, Sakura eventually disentangled herself from Naruto’s grasp in order to say good bye to Inoichi. Ino had taken her place, keeping Naruto from following. She had the look on her face that she often did when she was about to do something particularly hard…Inoichi had a feeling this time that ‘something’ was apologizing, and he couldn’t be prouder to see it.

‘Thank you, for letting me stay in your home.’ Sakura signed with a deep bow, which Inoichi only pulled her out of with a laugh.

“No need for that now. You are my daughters best friend after all…and anyways, this won’t be the last you’ll see of me.” He said patting her head. “We still have a lot of work to do together, don’t we?”

Understanding lit like a fire in Sakura’s eyes, and Inoichi smiled to see it. He could also see the grief there too though, grief and shame that she couldn’t save that boy she’d left alone in that place, he was sure…

“Ugh! I’m not _tricking_ you, would you just accept my apology already?” Ino shouted, seemingly in response to something Naruto said. Her hands were firmly on her hips in that way she always had when she was particularly frustrated with someone.

“Are you sure you’re really Ino?” Naruto said with a squinty eyed look of suspicion. 

“Wha—of course I am! You really think anyone else could ever be _me?_ I’m sure they’d never get my hair right.”

Naruto seemed to accept that response as he suddenly laughed. “Yeah, you’re definitely Ino. Only Ino would be that obsessed with hair, ‘attebayo.”

“I’m not _obsessed_!”

Inoichi looked back to Sakura with a snort of laughter. “Think that’s your cue to break them up.”

Sakura gave a breathy laugh and made to move towards the two blondes, only to be gently stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Inoichi looked at her with serious eyes as he handed her a small thin book.

"For you. You should read it." Inoichi said as he watched the pink haired girl turn over her new book carefully. "Its from that Himeko woman...there's quite a few interesting connections between the place you showed me in you mind and the myth that book tells of. I'm unsure yet on what to make of it...but perhaps it will help you in some way."

Sakura thanked him, holding the book close to her chest like a treasure. She looked back over the Naruto with a sudden frown, and Inoichi couldn't stop his next words from escaping.

“Will you tell him?” He asked gently. He didn’t need to elaborate further, he saw the understanding on her face as her brows furrowed.

Sakura looked over to Naruto then back down to the ground. She shook her head, just as Inoichi suspected she might.

‘I don’t know for sure.’ She signed, not looking at him. Inoichi watched her face carefully.

“You don’t think he deserves to know you could be his family?”

‘I don’t know for sure.’ She signed more vehemently this time. Her hands hovered uncertainly for a moment, ‘I could be wrong. My seal could be...something else.’

“I don’t think you are, for what it’s worth.” Inoichi said softly, and Sakura turned the book over in her hands fitfully. Inoichi tried to piece through her thought process, tried to understand why she seemed to hesitant to face the truths she’d seen in his father’s memories.

Her father had left her because he’d thought blood was thicker than water, had disowned her for the very fact that she was not his daughter in anything but his mind. Was she worried Naruto would do the same if she turned out to be wrong about being an Uzumaki? Surely not…the boy was not so superficial…but fear was fear, it didn’t need to be rational.

Or perhaps she just didn’t care about blood ties anymore after how much her father had valued them. Or maybe…

“Do you…not want to be Naruto’s family? Do you not want to be an Uzumaki?”

She turned to look at him in shock, shaking her head rapidly side to side as she tucked the book under her arm. ‘No! No I—I do…he’s…Naruto is…’

Her hands hovered in the air for a moment and she looked over to where Ino now held Naruto in a headlock as she tried to flatten his hair into something less spiky, laughing all the while. Sakura bit her lip, hands beginning to move once more.

‘Naruto is already family.’ Her eyes were a bit bright when she met Inoichi’s, ‘I don’t need to be an Uzumaki for that. I don’t need to be anything than just Sakura…and he just has to be Naruto. That's enough. Nothing needs to change...what does blood matter anyways? It's just blood.’ 

 

—

 

“Care for a drink?”

“Always.” She slurred, ignoring the little voice in her head that recognized the man's voice as familiar.

A clink, and then a tiny porcelain cup of sake was set down immediately in front of her. The man had already had the cup at the ready—he’d known she’d say yes.

Tsunade lolled her head up from the table to look at the man who had just set the glass of sake down before her. She glared through hazy brown eyes at the face she saw, but sat back and downed the alcohol anyways.

Then she threw the empty cup at his head. The crash was satisfying, but not nearly as satisfying as it would’ve been had it hit his face.

“Ha! I’ve missed you too Tsunade.” The fiercely grinning man said, taking a seat across from her. “But unfortunately I’m not here on pleasure.”

She gave him a narrow eyed look. “When ‘re you ever, you toad? Ev’ry time y’show your face y’want somethin’ from me, J’raiya. Even if ’s jus’ to see me topless.”

Jiraiya sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Tsunade, if she weren’t so very blissfully drunk, may have been surprised that he didn’t rise to the bait for a lewd comment as he usually did. 

“Sensei’s dying, Tsunade.” 

Tsunade froze for a moment, newly replaced and refilled sake cup halfway to her lips. She took only a moment before she downed it, slamming it upside down on the table with a hissing breath. Then she stood and started to wobble her way out of the bar. She wasn’t surprised when Jiraiya followed her.

“Tsunade. Did you hear me?” It was phrased as a question, but he didn’t wait for an answer. “They’re saying no one can heal him—he’s been in a coma for a day now. Tsunade!”

Tsunade turned a frosty glare behind her at her old teammate, and he gulped as she looked down at the hand he placed on her shoulder to stop her. He removed his hand and changed tactics, speeding in front of her and blocking the doorway.

"I receive news that sensei is mortally wounded and both us, coincidentally in the same town no less, are hardly a days run from Konoha…it’s practically fate isn’t it?” Jiraiya said, hands up placatingly. 

“Tch, yes, ’m sure it was entirely a ‘coincidence’ we were in the same village. Nothing at all to do with that _toad_ y'have follow me around when  y'think I’m too drunk to notice.” Tsunade said with a glare, “An' I don’t believe in fate—'s just a tool fools use to make themselves feel better about their bad decisions."

Jiraiya scoffed, “If you didn’t believe in fate then you wouldn’t still think anyone that wore that necklace of yours was destined to die.”

Tsunade flinched, her glare suddenly far more heated than before.

“Move, Jiraiya.” She slurred.

“You can heal him.”

“ _Move,_ Jiraiya.” She hissed, now.

“Sensei is _dying_ , Tsunade!”

“So what!” She finally bellowed. “It had to happen sometime didn’t it? The hokage’s seat’s a death sentence anyway—he never should’ve taken it back after your fool of an apprentice sacrificed himself for it!”

Jiraiya flinched back, face darkening, and Tsunade pushed forward at his chest. She sneered at him when he didn’t budge.

“Come back to the village, Tsunade.” He growled. “Or will you just let him die while you drown yourself here in liquor?”

Tsunade scoffed, looking away from his accusatory eyes. She felt a stab of shame burst through the haze of liquor and suddenly took a swig from a sake bottle she swiped from a passing waiters saucer.

Jiraiya made a grab for the bottle, but Tsunade nimbly avoided him, flicking his grabbing hand just hard enough and at the perfect angle to send it flying towards a young woman trying to squeeze through the door. 

The young woman looked down in shock at the hand that was now stuck to her chest.

“Pervert!” Tsunade called out in the highest most shocked voice she could manage. It was enough to shock the woman out of her stupor, and she quickly squealed and slapped Jiraiya firmly in the face. 

“Wai—Tsunade!” She heard Jiraiya call from behind her, followed by several more offended shrieks and crashes. She couldn’t find it within herself to smirk at her escape, especially not when she knew that Shizune’s disappointed face awaited her back at the inn she’d holed up in. 

The tapping sound of geta’s behind her had her scowling. She just couldn’t catch a break today…looks like she’d have to run then—what a shame, she’d spend so much money on getting this buzz, it was a shame to waste it.

With a burst of chakra Tsunade sped forward, her body already metabolizing the alcohol and sobering her up. At least that would solve the issue of Shizune’s disappointment—she was always much less scowl-y when she came back sober.

Skidding around a corner, Tsunade slammed into a man wheeling a barrel full of cabbages. She used the overturned barrel and the flat of the dismayed merchant’s head to gain enough momentum to jump up onto a nearby roof.

“Dammit.” She scowled as she found Jiraiya already there, waiting for her. Apparently she hadn't metabolized that alcohol fast enough if she hadn't noticed when he'd made a shadow clone. She swung the sake bottle she still held up to her lips and finished it off in three long chugs, then threw it over her shoulder off the roof.

“What’s it gonna take for you to leave me alone here, Jiraiya? I’m not coming back to the village.”

Jiraiya grit his teeth. “You’ve changed Tsunade…I’ve never known you to let someone die that you could save. Never known you to turn your back on family.”

“We aren’t family.” She whispered hoarsely, the faces of all those she’d lost suddenly blurring before her eyes. “We’re just a couple of broken old idiots that happened to be on a team together once.”

She didn’t need to look up to know she’d hit a chord there. And yet still he didn’t leave her aloneto her misery, as he’d always done before.

“We are. We’re family.” He insisted, a painful gravel in his voice. She wished suddenly that she had more sake.

Tsunade looked over his shoulder rather than meet his eyes, visions of Dan’s blood covering her hands, dying beneath her as she tried to save him to no avail. Her voice was hardly a whisper and cracked with she spoke. 

“I can’t save him. I can’t even manage to see a paper cut without freezing. He might as well be dead already.”

Jiraiya’s scowl softened, and it only put the blonde more on edge. She knew that if she looked up into his beady little eyes that they’d be filled with pity—or worse, understanding. If he truly understood, then he wouldn’t be here asking such things of her would he? 

“You could at least _try._ ” He said softly, “Sometimes thats all we can do…but at least it’s something, isn’t it?”

“Tsunade-sama…” A tiny voice appeared to her right and Jiraiya didn't look surprised to see the girl who spoke. The Sannin felt her shoulders slump as her apprentice stepped out from behind him, knowing he'd planned this from the start. “Jiraiya-sama is right. You should go back—you have to, you don't have a choice. Otherwise…otherwise you’ll never be able to live with yourself and…and _I_ won’t be able to live with you either.”

Looking into Shizune’s sad but determined eyes, still so young and full of youthful naivety…Tsunade knew she truly _didn’t_ have a choice. Her apprentice was right after all…and she’d lied before.

They were family. The only family they had left…

Looks like she was going back to Konoha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to know what you think of the new title and this chapter! There was a pretty big reveal, although I think most of you had already guessed it in comments ;) And Naruto and Sakura reunite! Ino and Naruto become tentative friends! YAY! Also, congrats to NotsoCryptic for noticing the connection between the two circles of Sakura's seal and the idea of second minds! I was super surprised when you caught that!
> 
> One other thing - Inoichi's dad's name is Inojin because I couldn't come up with a good 'ino' name, so I just stole the one from Boruto. You can always just assume Ino named her kid after her grandad if you want haha.


	13. Dreams

_ "Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears."  _

\- Les brown

 

—

 

The first official day of living with Naruto was…different than living at the orphanage. For one, the orphanage had strict rules about cleanliness and chores—and one look into the apartment that she would now share with Naruto showed those rules had gone out the window.

There were dirty socks on a lamp, food wrappers on the floor, a mess of blankets and laundry on his bed…and she wasn’t even going to touch that kitchen.

‘How is this place such a mess already?’ She signed, half in wonder and half in shock. Then her eyes fell on the garbage full of nothing but instant ramen cups, and she turned a glare on a guilty looking Naruto.

‘You haven’t eaten anything but ramen since you moved in have you.’ 

“No! That’s not true…” He said, pointing at a mess of broken eggs still in their crate on the counter. “I had an egg for breakfast!”

'Just one egg?' Sakura glanced at the eggs—every single one of the dozen were cracked and empty in the container, dripping drying egg yolk on the counter. She wrinkled her nose. How had he only gotten one edible egg out of a whole dozen?!

Suddenly Sakura was worried. She didn’t know how to cook…and there was no way she was eating instant ramen everyday. She wasn’t Naruto—she’d blow up like a balloon if she did that.

“I’ve tried teaching him how to cook…” Yugao said with a pained sigh from behind her. “Hopefully you take to it better than he did…otherwise I’ll end up living here forever—and I don’t think any of us want that.”

"Yeah, no." Naruto agreed, to which Yugao sent him a half hearted glare.

Sakura kept finding herself startled every time Yugao spoke. She was so quiet and stealthy she easily forgot she was even there, plus Sakura had rather expected her to leave after letting them into the apartment. Apparently, however, the woman was sticking around to ensure they ‘didn’t burn the whole complex down trying to cook a meal’—on the hokage’s orders of course…although Sakura doubted those were the hokage’s exact words…

"So, cooking—" Yugao started, only to be interrupted by Naruto.

“You can do that later!” Naruto said, jumping between them so he was face to face with Sakura. She leaned away from his overly eager, and overly close, face. “First—where were you? I went to the orphanage yesterday and Tenten said you were just _gone_! Then, next thing I know you’re showing up here and Ino’s apologizing to me, and suddenly this scary lady won’t let me more than ten feet out of the apartment!”

“Yugao.” The woman reminded dryly.

“Right! That’s what I said.”

Sakura flinched back at the line of questioning. She didn't particularly want to recall what had led to her leaving the orphanage…and she wasn’t even sure she was _allowed_ to truthfully. Although Inoichi hadn’t expressly forbidden her from talking about what had happened…and she hadn’t even seen the hokage since she woke up, which in itself was rather strange…

‘What about you?’ Sakura deflected, brows furrowing suddenly. ‘You were supposed to meet me at Ueno park—I waited all day only to find out you weren’t coming, that you’d moved out of the orphanage without even telling me!’

“Uh—well…” Naruto scratched the back of his head, looking suddenly uncomfortable. The discomfort switched to distraught and guilty rather quickly, and Sakura backed off. They both obviously felt hurt and confused, so they just stood there opposite one another, at an impasse of sorts, both of them lost in the events that had led them to this very moment. 

“You kids seem like you have a lot to talk about...” Yugao said awkwardly, but not unkindly, bringing their attention to where she now stood half out the window. “I’ll just be...right outside.”

The two children stared as she then swung herself out of the window nonchalantly and disappeared. In any other situation Sakura would’ve ran to the window to try and catch a glimpse of how she’d done it, but here and now was not the time for her curiosity.

“What did they tell you? At the orphanage?” Naruto suddenly piped up, shifting from foot to foot. “Not about me but…Nakamura.”

Sakura looked down in confusion. Nakamura? The caregiver? She honestly couldn’t even remember him being there when she’d gotten back to the orphanage…hadn’t Tenten been saying something about him? She shook her head, drawing a blank.

‘I don’t think he was there?’ She signed tentatively, only to see Naruto’s face fall. 

“He wouldn’t have been, because…because he’s dead now.” Naruto whispered, looking down at the ground. Sakura's eyes widened, and Naruto scuffed the floor with his slippered foot, the noise it made the only sound in the room.

“Mizuki-sensei saved me, and he was the one who killed him. Because Nakamura was...trying to kill me.” Naruto finished, still not meeting Sakura’s eyes. “So…I guess that’s why the old man moved me here. And why I wasn’t at Ueno park…I tried to tell you but, like I said, when I went to the orphanage you were just…gone.”

He took a deep breath in, “People…people here have never really liked me but…but I never thought that Nakamura would…”

His words were so heavy that Sakura almost didn’t recognize his voice as he said them. She couldn’t help but feel her muteness all the more sharply in that moment. It was now that most people would say a comforting word, or apologize such a thing had happened to him, or even just tell him ‘it would be okay.’

But Sakura could not say anything, she could only speak with her hands and her eyes and her actions…but Naruto wasn’t looking at her, so she did the only thing she could—she walked up to him, and then pulled her friend tight against her.  He didn’t startle at her touch, as he often had during the first months of their friendship, and instead instantly returned it, which made her smile a bit. She felt him relax against her, and hoped this would be enough. She wasn’t sure what she would ‘say’ when she pulled away, so she kept her arms tight around him for as long as possible.

How would she explain where she’d been, why she’d been gone? Should she say she had nearly been killed too? Try to crack a joke about starting an ‘almost assassinated’ club? No, no—that was too dark. Maybe something about how she would’ve thought Mizuki would be the one to want to kill him after all the pranks Naruto had played on him? 

No. No that was worse. Wow, she was terrible at lightening the mood wasn’t she? But then that had always been Naruto's job…he was great at making people smile.

So…jokes probably weren’t the way to go. They never had been Sakura’s strong suit. Maybe then…just the truth would work. She pulled away and Naruto looked at her expectantly.

‘Ino’s dad took me in, that’s where I was when you came by the orphanage.’ Sakura signed. ‘He…took me in to protect me. The orphanage wasn’t safe for me either.’

“What do you mean?” Naruto said slowly.

Sakura hesitated, her thoughts stuttering around everything that had happened that night. ’A shinobi—he was trying to take Daisuke I think. I got caught in the middle of it and…some things happened, but then Yamato-sensei saved me.’

“Wait—Yamato-sensei? As in our Standard teacher—the one with a wooden board for a face?”

Sakura rolled her eyes, ‘Thats the one.’

"…so I guess we both almost died…” Naruto murmured, a sudden weighted silence falling over them. Then he looked up at her and his lips twitched upwards. “Hey, maybe we should start a club, huh? We’ll call it the ‘I almost died but my sensei saved me at the last possible minute,’ club.”

A burst of laughter escaped Sakura at the shear impossibility of Naruto saying nearly exactly what she’d thought earlier. ‘I don’t know…I don’t think you can call it a club if there’s only two people, Naruto. And something tells me recruiting would be tough.’

“Yeah, that’s true…Daisuke could join though, I guess.” Naruto snorted, “Though I don’t know about having him in—uh, Sakura-chan? What’s wrong?”

The laughter had abruptly left Sakura, her face clouding. She didn’t want to tell her friend…but he deserved to know, didn’t he?

‘Daisuke is…Daisuke is dead, Naruto.’ She wished she could say he was ‘probably’ dead but…she couldn’t lie to herself anymore. It’d been too long now, and she had to come to terms with the fact that he was gone. Sakura’s hands shook a bit when she signed her next words. 

‘…and it’s my fault. I’m…I’m just as bad as Nakamura, aren’t I? He nearly killed you and I…I might as well have killed Daisuke.’

She saw him start to shake his head after his initial shock, but she didn’t let him speak. ‘It’s true—I don’t know exactly how it happened but…there was this seal and then we were in this strange place, and then I did something _stupid_ , and I got scared and I just…I left him there. I left him to die. And I can’t even go back and give him a proper funeral until I get the ring back from the hokage, and learn to control my chakra better, and figure out this dumb paper Inoichi gave me and—‘

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto’s hand suddenly closed on her own, stopping her rambling. He looked at her with blue eyes full of worry and…care. It reminded her of how Inoichi had looked at her when she'd had a similar explosion of emotion not long ago. Sakura remembered her mother used to look at her like that too, and the thought only brought the emotions closer to the surface. “That’s stupid! It’s not your fault. I don’t know half of what you just said, but it could never be your fault! You’re Sakura and—I know you. You’d never…you’re not like Nakamura!”

Naruto looked at her so fiercely, his expression so sure that she couldn’t help but think his words were true. They calmed the turbulent pit of feelings of guilt and failure in her gut in a way Inoichi's placations hadn't...but in it’s place a different kind of guilt reared it’s head. There was so much else she hadn’t told Naruto…and Inoichi’s words were echoing in her mind. 

_You don’t think he deserves to know you could be his family?_

Of course he did…but what if she were wrong? What if there was some other explanation for everything, and then he looked at her differently, looked at her like her father had that day in the graveyard. And besides…she didn’t want Naruto to like her because she was somehow related to him. She wanted him to like her for her…she was just afraid. Afraid of losing this.

"You...your not Nakamura." Naruto suddenly repeated firmly. "You're just Sakura. Okay?"

Slowly Sakura nodded, a grateful smile twitching at her lips.  Naruto seemed to want to say more, and had just opened his mouth to speak when a dry voice suddenly spoke from the window. 

“You two done yet? I’m getting tired of standing vertically…and I think I’ve scared several of your civilians neighbors into wetting their pants.”

Naruto gave a glare at the woman poking her head in through their window, “Can’t you knock or something? We were having a private conver—mph!” 

Hand place firmly over Naruto’s mouth, Sakura turned and gave the purple haired woman a firm nod and a wave in.  Naruto gave her a worried look as Yugao entered and Sakura's hand slid from his face, and Sakura met it with the best reassuring one she could manage.

‘Thank you.’ She signed to him when it looked like he’d pursue the topic, ‘Really. You’re right after all—I’m not like Nakamura…I just lost my head for a minute.”

“As…long as you’re okay.” He said slowly, then gave her another one of his trademark determined looks. "But if you ever need to talk, you can come to me, 'attebayo!"

She nodded with a huff of laughter, and then shoved all those dark feelings of guilt and anxiety and fear as far down the river in her mind as she could, a coping mechanism she hadn’t employed in months. She knew eventually it would all come back to her at once but…now wasn’t the time to dwell on it, and there was nothing Naruto could say to change her mind. It was her fault Daisuke was dead—and there was no lying to herself about that anymore, not now that it’d been so long—and she was the only one who could do anything to make it better.

All the questions she had, the mysteries she had yet to understand—who the man in the painting was, what this ‘Pure One’ was…and of course the seal on her forehead and the identity of her real father…it could wait. 

For now she needed to focus. Focus on getting better at separating her Yin energy from her Yang so that paper didn’t react and turn to mush, focus on understanding seals better too, and maybe reading the book Himeko had left her…and then—then she’d go back to that place she’d left Daisuke to rot in, and she’d bring him back here and give him the funeral her mother had never had the chance to have.

She had a plan, she had a goal, now she just needed to reach it. Everything else could wait.

She told herself that...but the words rung hollow in her mind.

 

—

 

They spent the rest of the day learning how to cook and use the appliances around the apartment without destroying it in the process. Or…at least that was what Sakura was doing. Naruto seemed keen on doing anything _except_ learning how to make something other than ramen. But, after the fourth time he’d nearly started an oil fire, Sakura and Yugao let him be and determined it as a lost cause. 

By the time evening was arriving Sakura had forced Naruto to unpack the things the hokage had bought for him and situated the apartment into something resembling ‘clean.’ Long gone were the socks on the lamp, the garbage taken from the floor and put into the can, the gooey egg shells on the counter thrown out.  Naruto almost seemed sad to see them go…but Sakura was merciless in her cleaning. Nothing remained—no germ was left untouched, not even the ones on the very top shelves that her short legs couldn’t reach, thanks to Yugao.

Night arrived, and both Sakura and Naruto fell into their beds exhausted. Yugao had disappeared out the window, saying she would be on the roof keeping watch—Sakura wondered if she ever slept. 

Naruto was quick to do his usual nightly routine—that of pushups and crunches and such, but Sakura was too tired to join him as she usually did. Instead, she pulled out the book Inoichi had slipped her, the one supposedly Himeko had insisted she have. She gave it a long hard look, knowing she should take this time to read it but…she hesitated to open the cover.

This was a book that held answers for her, not just about the world she’d transported herself too with the seal on her family ring, but also answers about the religion of her mother, perhaps even her father. 

If she were anywhere else but Konoha she could likely find a civilian to ask about the stories she’d grown up hearing…but she was in Konoha, which was above all a shinobi village with shinobi values. What that meant was the civilians that lived there had long closed their temples, their festivals to the gods replaced with festivals celebrating battles won or simple changes of the seasons.

This book was her best bet to learn more about Kami and the shiryou and that other world she'd gone to—even Inoichi had said as much…and yet, Sakura didn’t even want to even open to the first page. 

She was afraid. Afraid of starting, afraid of failing. Afraid of remembering that terrifying place...and even of finding herself back there in her dreams.

Just earlier that day she'd had a goal and a plan set out of all the things she needed to work on and do...and here she was unable to do one of them. She sighed propping her head on the book’s spine, and it was then that Naruto sat up form his last crunch with a curious look.

“What’s that?” Naruto asked gathering things for a shower as he squinted to read the title.

‘A book.’

Naruto snorted, “Yeah, I noticed. What’re ‘Kami’?”

Sakura sighed again, nose scrunching in thought. Indeed. What _were_ Kami? Her hands came up to sign hesitantly,  ‘They’re…gods, I guess. Or maybe…spirits? I don’t really know...’

“Huh. Spirits…like ghosts, y’mean?”

Sakura shivered, thinking on the horrible disfigured things that had sucked the energy from her with a single touch. Shiryou. Were they Kami? She didn't think so. She thought they were monsters, demons...but who was she to say. 

‘Maybe.’

She put the book down on the bedside table and pulled the sheets up around her, effectively ending the conversation. Naruto gets up with a shrug and heads to the washroom, and Sakura turns her back to where she’d set the book. She didn’t want to think on it, or look at it. She just wanted to sleep away everything that had happened—just for one night. Just one night to not think, just one night to relax and not worry about all the unanswered questions she had, just one night to forget all the things she had to do. She told herself that it would just be one night, that tomorrow she'd do better.

She could hear Naruto finishing up in the bathroom—one that had a real tub thank the Sage—and when he came out his hair was wet and his eyes were barely open. He drifted on muscle memory over to his bed before plopping down on it face first. Sakura envied his ability to be comfortable so easily—he looked as if he could fall asleep at any moment. 

Which he did, going by the sudden snores that sounded from his side of the room. ‘Goodnight, Naruto.’ She signed, a smile gentle on her face when his only response were loud, deep snores. It’d only been two nights but…she’d missed the sound of his awful nasal issues.

After some tossing and turning, Sakura finally gave up on her own pursuit of sleep on the bed. With a huff, she got up and dragged the blankets and pillow from the mattress, lying them out on the floor. She lay down on it and sighed. A bit hard, but it would do—better than the mattress anyways. She hadn’t slept on a raised bed since her parents still lived…for all the time it’d taken her to get used to a futon, now she found she couldn’t go back to the fluffy mattress she’d so longed for. She was glad to be living with Naruto, but the new place and the new bed (the new everything) would take some getting used to...as would sleeping somewhere vastly less crowded than the orphanage. At least while she was staying with the Yamanaka's she'd had Ino in the same bed besides her, which had kept her from feeling quite so alone.

She looked up and over at Naruto. His hand dangled from the bed, just within reach and she poked at it. He didn't wake, so she poked him again, and yet still he slept on. She pouted a bit before tugging on it this time...perhaps a little too hard, for he then tumbled out of his bed and onto the floor beside her. She froze, staring at her friend where he'd landed face first in the blankets, waiting for him to blow up...only to hear yet another snore. She relaxed immediately and snorted a laugh—he really could sleep through anything.

Pushing the boy into a more comfortable position, she then pulled his blanket off the bed to cover him. Finally, with his snores resounding in her ear, Sakura fell into a deep sleep. She'd read the book in the morning...or perhaps the next day. For now she just wanted to sleep beside her friend and forget.

Just for one night, she didn't want to worry. Just for one night, she didn't want to be afraid of everything that was to come. Just for one night she wanted to relax with her friend and not think. Just for one...

Sakura drifted, finally, into sleep. There, she dreamed. She dreamed of finding the answers she sought, she dreamed of finding the truth, and of Naruto smiling at her from beneath a hokage's hat that was much too large for him, she dreamed of all her friends around her safe and sound and happy...and she wasn't afraid any longer.

 

—

 

“Do it again, do it again!” A young Tsunade giggled, her face round with the youth of childhood. “Oba-chan, pleaaaasse?”

Her grandmother sighed in the way she often did when speaking to Tsunade—long sufferingly, but with a healthy dose of affection.

“Alright, just once more…honestly, you just can’t take no for an answer can you?” Mito gave the little seven year old a mock glare, “It’s because your grandfather spoils you so…although I suppose I do as well, don’t I?”

Tsunade laughed again and clapped her hands in a mimic of how Mito held her own together, although she didn’t attempt to channel any chakra. With a shiver of chakra and a poof of smoke, her grandmother’s lined face smooths itself out and her dark hair lightens and regains it’s glossy sheen. Tsunade watched it all with stars in her eyes, making noises of admiration at Mito’s newly youthful appearance.

Her grandmother was beautiful even without the henge but…she was doubly beautiful this way.

“You’re so pretty…can’t you stay like this all the time, Oba-chan?” The little girl wonderd, marveling at Mito’s henge as if she were a model on a poster.

Mito clucked her tongue at her, “So vain you are, child. You’d do well to be rid of that vanity, should you ever wish to be a kunoichi. Such things are only a hinderance in the line of duty.”

Tsunade pouted at her light scolding, “But you just look so pretty! Who doesn’t like to look pretty? I want to look like you when I grow up, Oba-chan—I’ll even dye my hair red!”

“Why ever would you want to do that, child? You have such beautiful hair.” Mito said as she patted the girls blonde head affectionately. Then her grandmother grinned slyly at her, and with a second poof of smoke the visage of a young woman was suddenly that of a child. "How do I look now?"

Tsunade wrinkled her nose as she took in her grandmother...her red hair lighter upon her head, her dark eyes brighter with youth and showing glints of green. "You look like a kid...it's weird."

Mito laughed into her hand, the sound of her voice young and childish for a moment before she suddenly reverted back to her true age with a puff of smoke. "Then you understand how I feel now. It's unnerving to see myself younger than I am—whether it is by ten years of thirty."

Tsunade was about to deny her grandmothers reasoning when she looked up and found herself caught in her grandmothers piercing gaze. She squirmed uncomfortably—her grandmother always had a way of making someone feel as if she could look into their very soul.

“It’s hard to believe you’re nearly eight now, Tsunade-chan…do you have a goal?” Mito finally asked thoughtfully.

“Goal?” The girl said in surprise.

“Yes, a goal. Or perhaps I should say ‘dream.’ It’s something that you want, something that will take a long time to get to, something that may even be impossible…” Mito says with a smile, leaning forward onto the desk in front of her, with her face propped up on her hand. “But you keep trying and trying until you get there, because you can’t stand the idea of not making it happen.”

“Sounds like a lot of work.” Tsunade said with another wrinkle of her nose.

“Yes…dreams are a lot of work.” Mito said with a distant look. “But without them nothing changes, and eventually our lives become meaningless. We must _always_ have dreams.”

“Hmm, then my dream is…” Tsunade thought on this, face scrunched with concentration, humming to herself. Mito leans her head into her hand, watching her granddaughter fondly as she deliberated. Suddenly Tsunade looked up, expression fierce and serious, a look of sheer determination on her face. 

“I’ve got it—“ She said with a grin. “My dream…is to one day beat Oji-san in a card game!”

With a plunk, Mito’s face falls off her hand in surprise, her forehead nearly hitting the table. “Beat…Hashirama…in a card game…”

“Yeah! I never win against him!” Tsunade says, eyes suddenly starry with determination. “Next time he comes home—I’ll challenge him. He promised if I ever beat him that he’d teach me tree walking, you know!”

“Don’t you want something a little more…meaningful?” Mito said with a pinch to the bridge of her nose, “Something a little more long term, perhaps?”

"Long term?" Tsunade said thoughtfully, “Well…then I want my dream to be as beautiful as you are when I get older. And then I want to stay just like that, forever!”

Suddenly Mito’s face saddens, “Forever is a long time, Tsunade-chan…it’s not the natural way of things. To stay young while your loved ones age and die around you...such a life would be pitiable rather than enviable.”

Tsunade squinted at her, only half understanding. “But…they could stay young too, right? If they just use a henge—only all the time! Or maybe a genjutsu?”

Her grandmother sighed and shook her head in amusement, and the heavy atmosphere lifts.

“Well, who am I to tell a little girl what her dreams should be.” She chuckled. “It’s certainly a lofty goal, Tsunade-chan, to find the fountain of youth.”

“Do...you have a dream Oba-chan?”

“Me?” Mito hummed, “Well, my dream has always been to see my family safe and happy...which is why I eventually adapted my husband’s dream for Konoha as my own. I believe in this village—I believe Konoha can keep our dreams alive and well.”

With a thoughtful look to her granddaughter, Mito rose and retrieved something from a cupboard in the back of the room. When she returned she held a gold, round, little thing in her hand, and she gave it to Tsunade.

“What’s this?” The little girl questioned as she turned the round doll around in her hands. It’s face was a carved white oval painted with little horns and large red circle upon it’s forehead, it’s chin painted with a stylized beard. Tsunade recognized the face as being a representative of the Sage of Six Paths...only the round spots it had for it’s eyes were empty of pupils. On it’s chest there were black Kanji symbols, which read ‘seven times down, eight times up,’ and Tsunade was rather proud of herself for being able to read it.

“It’s a Sage doll.” Mito said. “You fill in one of the eyes upon deciding your goal, and then eventually fill in the second eye once you’ve reached it.”

Mito reached over and placed the Sage doll on the desk between she and Tsunade, and then pulls a brush and ink well from one of the drawers.

“it’s meant to remind you to never give up, for no matter how many times you push it down it always,” Mito flicked the doll as she spoke, the doll falling backwards and then rolling back to it’s original position, “get’s back up.”

Tsunade pokes the doll several times, smiling as it continued to rock itself back to it’s starting point. Mito smiled at her childish curiosity as she pushed the brush and inkwell towards her granddaughter. Tsunade looks at it, and then back to the doll in sudden realization.

“For me?” 

Mito nods, “Choose wisely.”

Tsunade looked at the doll more thoughtfully than she had before, and it’s a long time her grandmother and she sat there as she and thought on what she wanted her goal to be. Finally, she picked up the brush to ink in a tiny little dot for a pupil in the right circle. 

“So? Will you strive to find the fountain of youth, Tsunade-chan?"  To her grandmother’s surprise, Tsunade shook her head. “No? Then what is your dream?”

“...I liked your dream—keeping our family safe and happy…I don’t have any dreams that nice so…” Tsunade said, shyly looking down. “So I decided…I decided my dream would be to make my family and loved one’s dreams come true instead.”

Mito smiled and cupped her face, “That’s a wonderful dream, child…you truly are just like your grandfather.”

 

—

 

Tsunade woke with a startled gasp but did not move further. Slowly, she relaxed her body, the dream still fresh in her mind as she tried to soothe the hurt in her chest at the warm memories. It seemed almost as painful as if she’d dreamt of Dan or Nawaki’s dying faces—sometimes the sweeter memories just made the bad ones all the more bitter after all.

With a sigh she rose from bed and stumbled into the inns attached wash room. She tried to avoid looking in the mirror, but it was impossible. She saw her youthful skin, her bright lustrous blonde hair, her unchanged body and gave a rueful chuckle as the memories from her dream came back to her. It had been right before her grandfather died—she never did get a chance to challenge him to one last card game, for when he returned from the front lines of the first shinobi war it had been in a body sealing scroll.

In a way she had succeeded in one of her goals, one of her dreams, from when she was a child. She truly was just as young and beautiful as she’d been in her twenties…it was just a shame she’d never found a way to keep everyone else just as youthful…or even just as alive. That had been something she'd always shared with Orochimaru, that yearning to keep those she loved alive and young...although it wasn't until she was much older that she'd realized the connection. 

Turning away from her sudden urge to smash the bathrooms mirror to smithereens, Tsunade finished packing and left to meet an anxious Jiraiya in the Inn’s lobby. She saw him there conversing with Shizune, saw him look at her just as he always did—in part like the perverted teenager he still was at heart, and in part like the stalwart friend and teammate he’d always been to her.

It’d been late when Jiraiya had found her last night and, though she had reluctantly agreed to follow him back to the village she’d been avoiding for almost twenty years, she had insisted they not start travel until the morning after a good sleep. If she arrived in Konoha tired and depleted of chakra from a day’s run then what use would she be to her old teacher? Plus, she’d need all the time she could get to sort herself out before stepping through those gates again.

Eventually he’d seen reason, and so Tsunade had gained some time to sort herself out…but now it was morning, and here she was, very much still unsorted.

“Tsunade-sama.” Shizune said as she turned towards her. She had that gentle, kind look on her face that she always did whenever Tsunade asked her to do a surgery or heal someone in her stead. “Tsunade-sama…I know you’re worried about going back to Konoha but…just know we’re here with you. You’re not alone.”

The blonde woman huffed, “Whether you’re with me or not won’t change a thing if I pass out as soon as I enter the hospital's front door.”

"That's why we won't be entering through the front door." Shizune said with a shake of her head, “I know your limitations Tsunade-sama…and I have a plan.”

“A plan?” Tsunade said suspiciously. She should have expected it though—Shizune always had a plan. “Well, let’s hear it then…”

“Alright—as soon as we reach Konoha here’s what we’ll do…”

 

—

 

It was the second morning since Sakura moved in with Naruto, and still they had not been allowed back to the academy. Yugao, their resident ‘babysitter,’ for lack of a better title for the woman, shadowed their every move outside of the apartment. The fact that she didn’t disguise or attempt to hide herself was telling in and of itself—Sakura theorized that she must _want_ people to know they were protected. Why, she had no idea, but it was rather discomforting to think about.

Sakura and Naruto had grown used to independence, and so it was an adjustment to have to _ask_ if they could leave—more so for Naruto than Sakura of course. For Sakura, it felt rather familiar really, almost nostalgic. It reminded her of a time when her parents would stop her at the door and ask where she was going, or get angry if she dawdled at the academy and didn’t come home on time…the feeling of having someone looking after her—making sure she knew how to cook, how to use the appliances, how to get groceries—brought back memories both pleasant and unpleasant to recall.

“Hey, scary lady!” Naruto called out from where he lolled about on the floor in boredom. “How long you gonna be here? And you never answered before—when can we go back to the academy?”

“I’ll stay here until Hokage-sama tells me otherwise. And you’ll stay out of the academy until Hokage-sama tells me otherwise too.” Yugao monotoned from her place in the corner. It was the same thing she’d said the last ten times he’d asked.

She held her blade up to the light in consideration of it’s edge before going back to her sharpening. The only sounds were the _shlick, shlick, shlick_ of her wet stone against the blade. Sakura watches her for a moment, before going back to staring out the window—she was waiting for Ino to show up, as she’d said she would when they’d parted the morning before.

“And when will he ‘tell you otherwise?’” Naruto said with a groan. “You won’t even let me go to the hokage tower to talk to him!”

Sakura heard Yugao’s wet stone pause and when she glanced over at her there was brief flicker of…worry, on her face.

“When the time is right.” She answered simply. Sakura narrowed her eyes at her as Naruto made frustrated noises in increasing levels of loudness.

It was rather strange they weren’t even allowed to the hokage tower…from what Sakura understood, Naruto had a rather personal relationship with the Hokage, and it didn’t make sense that he wouldn’t want to see Sakura after everything that had happened.

Perhaps the hokage was just busy…but Sakura thought that was unlikely.

‘Yugao?’ Sakura signed, tapping on the wall at her back to get her attention. ‘If we can’t go to the academy, could we at least go to the orphanage? You said we could go if you’d missed any of my things.’

“Did I miss anything?” She said with a raise of her brow. Sakura nodded resolutely, only half lying.

‘Yes. A scarf—a very important scarf.’

Yugao sighed. “Well then, I suppose I’ll have to go. What’s this scarf look like?”

She made to stand, but Sakura frantically shook her head, ‘No, no we both have to be there. The scarf’s in a special hidden place that only Naruto and I know of! So we have to go with you.But…not right now—later? After the academy gets out?’

Yugao gave her a considering look. “You going to tell that little blonde girl walking up to the building when to show up at the orphanage too, then?”

Sakura startled and turns back to the window where, sure enough, Ino’s blonde hair could be seen bounding up to the door. She looked back at Yugao with a nod that’s only a little sheepish—after all, it’d been days since she’d seen Tenten, who must be worried sick about her disappearance, and of course she’d want to see Ino after only just making up with her.

“Alright, alright. Enough with the puppy dog eyes, I get enough of that babysitting taicho’s ninken…” Yugao huffed, and both Sakura and Naruto perked up. “We’ll go to the orphanage tonight—but only for an hour. Tell your friend not to be late.”

 

—

 

They arrived in Konoha just after midday. The gates loomed, and as Tsunade passed through them she felt a weight settle upon her chest. Already she found it hard to breath being back in the village she’d grown up in. 

Beside her Shizune gripped her arm comfortingly, and Tsunade was never more grateful she’d taken Dan’s niece on as her apprentice. Even if she lacked the skill to become her true successor, she was a damn good student and an even better friend.

“This way Tsunade-sama, it’s not far to the hospital.” Shizune said softly as they left Jiraiya to handle the paperwork involved with their return. He gave them a wane look as he walked away with two chuunins, and Tsunade felt a sliver of satisfaction at his suffering. She couldn’t help it—she was petty that way. He wasn’t allowed to be off somewhere enjoying life while she had to deal with the heart palpitations and sweaty palms this village gave her.

As per the plan, they went to the hospital on back streets to avoid seeing any injured or bleeding patrons heading to the front entrance. Once they'd hit the back of the building, they scaled the building looking for the designated window that’d been left open for them, but still guarded of course. The ANBU were expecting her—going in unannounced to the dying hokage’s hospital room was just asking for a fight.

As they perched on the ledge to the window, Shizune held up a hand and entered first. The curtains were drawn to avoid nosy onlookers snatching a peek, and of course the ANBU were hidden skillfully in plain sight. Tsunade didn’t bother hiding herself though, just sat on the ledge below the window and tried to calm her breathing. The news of her return would spread like wildfire soon, whether she wanted it to or not, so there was no point hiding.

“The coast is clear, Tsunade-sama.” Shizune said as she popped her head out the window.

No blood then. It’d been awhile though, so she must have had the medic-nin within scour the place first. Tsunade just hoped they hadn’t realized the reason why they’d had to clean so thoroughly…that would be…embarrassing.

Tsunade nodded and finally turned to enter the window. Immediately her eyes fell to the small deflated figure that lay in the rooms only bed. She felt a twinge of pain in her chest, a sting in her eyes. It was the first time in almost twenty years that she’d seen the man who had been her teacher, and she hated that this was how they met again—with him in a bed, so small when he’d always seemed the tallest in the room, and her barely standing, terrified and on the verge of a breakdown.

“Tsunade-sama…welcome.” A mans voice said from the doorway, a team of medics standing behind him. “We are so glad you’ve come, allow me to update you on Hokage-sama’s status.”

Turning towards the man, the sannin gave a nod and took the offered medical report from his hands. She hoped he didn’t notice her shaking as she did so, and she tried her best to still the tremors. She needed to be professional here, and so she forced herself to pull herself to that calm place she’d developed during the second shinobi war, which allowed her to separate herself from her baser emotions in favor of logic. She only got about halfway there.

“The burnt out coils are our major concern…the unnatural spiking of his chakra throughout his body is causing a major disruption for our healers.” The man continued, wringing his hands. “It’s near impossible to assess and fix the damage with his chakra constantly disrupting ours, but chakra coils are such extremely delicate things which take time to heal…time we fear we don’t have with the hokage. So we’ve been trying our best to ignore his chakra spikes and heal his physical injuries but…we haven’t made much progress I’m afraid.”

Of course…it made sense. Tsunade flipped through the report once more before handing it back to the man whom she assumed was the head of the medical team assigned to the hokage. He took it eagerly, looking at her in that way she’d always hated—with hope, and utter belief in her. A belief she was sure to disappoint…as she always did.

Without a word Tsunade walked over to her old teacher and placed her hands upon his cloth covered chest. She took a quick glance at his gauze bound neck and arms, noting with relief that there was no bloodstains on the white wrappings. Shizune had done a good job checking and ensuring the room had no obvious signs of blood but…Tsunade was still doubtful about her ability to heal the man even now that she’d successfully entered the hospital. She could only do so much for internal injuries without some kind of surgery…and of course there was no way she would be able to handle something like that.

Her hands began to glow with chakra, and carefully she let her chakra pulse into Hiruzen’s body in a precise use of the diagnosis jutsu. What she found was exactly as the head medic had said—his chakra coils were shot, and several of the tenketsu that released chakra had been overloaded. She’d already heard of the explosion seals he’d tried to stop, and she could only assume the coils injuries were from trying to absorb the chakra from the seals themselves to keep them from activating.

The issue wasn’t that his coils were damaged though—it was that the tenketsu that released chakra into the body were. Blood was not the only thing that flowed through the body in a circulatory system, chakra did as well, and was just as important—which is why chakra exhaustion could kill someone. The chakra circulatory system regulated the bodies processes, was connected to every nucleus of every cell within the body, and so without a regular supply of ‘commands’ from the chakra the body would eventually just stop functioning altogether. This is what was happening with the hokage right now—the tenketsu that released his chakra into his body were damaged and so the chakra released in sporadic rather than regular pulses. If they didn’t fix this quickly his body would only continue to fail, no matter what they physically healed. If he were a civilian he would most certainly already be dead.

She wasn’t surprised that the medics couldn’t heal him with his chakra circulatory system as it was, either. It was like trying to find a station on a radio but hearing only static. Unless you knew the exact station to turn to, you’d never find it. And he was right, healing the coils would take a long time...but the tenketsu would be much quicker to heal, if they had someone talented enough to heal what was essentially an opening the size of a needle point...which, by the look of things, they must. Otherwise the hokage would be much worse off at the moment.

“We need to heal the tenketsu in his chakra coils first.” She said finally, breaking the silence with a commanding voice. “It seems to me someone has already started the process but it was some time ago—perhaps a day.”

“Ah, yes…Himeko-san was healing his coils. However…we thought with the time available to us it was a useless endeavor, and she's not really part of the hospital personele so we dismissed her. We need to heal Hokage-sama’s physical injuries now before he—“

“Before he dies?” Tsunade turned her best ‘are you an idiot’ glare she could on the head medic. “Well. I can tell you now that he _is_ going to die unless we heal his tenketsu. His _tenketsu_ not his coils. There’s a difference. Did you even pass the medical exam?” 

“I—I yes, of course, I knew there was—but still, the tenketsu are such small things, there have only been a few with the precision to find them, let alone heal them.”

The words drifted off, the implication clear that he didn't think he or any on his team were talented enough to heal such a thing. Tsunade sighed—she didn't want to make any promises, didn't want to say she could do it...and anyways, they did have someone else besides her that had already proven the ability to heal the hokage's tenketsu.

“Without his chakra circulatory system fixed we’ll be going in to heal blind, and probably end up doing more damage than we would if we could _see_ properly.” She snarled, ignoring his stumbled attempts to defend himself. “Heal his tenketsu—if you can't do so, then get that Himeko woman in here to do it for you, and Shizune will help as well. Coils do indeed take longer, but the spiking is coming from the burnt nodes, so heal them first and leave the coils themselves for later. Then you’ll be able to start healing the rest of the internal physical damage.”

“Y-yes, of course Tsunade-sama, we’ll begin right away—”

Suddenly a cough resounded, wet and hacking, from the hokage’s prone form. Tsunade turned immediately in worry for the man, but froze as soon as she did. 

Blood. Blood on his mouth, dripping down his chin onto the white wrappings around his neck. He convulsed again, though his eyes were still closed, his body coughing automatically to expel the blood from his airway.

She couldn’t breath.

_“Dan! Dan please, stay with me! Just hold on, please hold on! I can fix this, I can fix this, I just need to stop the bleeding—I just need to—“_

“Tsunade-sama?” She could hear the medic’s words but she couldn’t respond to them, couldn't look away until a medic blocked her line of view to wipe the blood from her sensei's mouth. “Are you alright?”

“She’s fine, she's fine...she just needs some air. Please proceed without her and call in Himeko-san.” Shizune said quickly, her hand heavy against Tsunade’s arm as she pulled her out of the room. “We’ll just be a moment.”

The door closed with a bang behind them, and the closing of it felt like permission to breath. Tsunade heaved a breath in, stumbling over to the window at the end of the narrow hall. She opened it frantically and breathed the fresh air in, anything to get the stale air of the hospital out of her lungs.

“Oh Tsunade-sama…” Shizune said sadly from behind her.

“I can’t even handle a bloody cough…and you think I can heal him?” The sannin murmured shakily, head pressed between her hands. “This is pointless, it’s all pointless.”

“You can’t give up, Tsunade-sama! You’ve hardly even started, please…don’t give up yet.” Shizune pried Tsunade’s hands from her face, forcing her to look her in the eye, “You’ve already pushed them in the right direction—“

“That man needs surgery!” Tsunade said, clenching her fist as she pointed to the hokage’s private room, “Surgery I can’t give him as I am now! Surgery I’m not sure even _you_ could complete successfully, and certainly none of those idiots!”

“You _could_ though—“

“Don’t patronize me.” Tsunade growled darkly, “You know I can’t Shizune. Didn’t you see me in there? I _can’t_.”

Her words were harsh and final, but they didn’t carry anger for Shizune. The wobble in her voice, the shake of her hands…it was fear that drove her to say she couldn’t do it. Always fear. And fear was a hard thing for someone to conquer for themselves, let alone for someone else.

So, with a defeated, but understanding, sigh, Shizune stepped away from her mentor and turned her back to her.

“Tsunade-sama, please, at least outline the surgery you believe the hokage needs.” Shizune said softly over her shoulder, “I know you are likely right that no one but you would have the skills to perform it successfully but…I would be their next best bet for someone capable enough to try. So I will. Try that is.”

“…Alright. I’ll have it for you tonight.” Tsunade whispered hoarsely, eye’s swimming. “And make sure they get that Himeko girl they were talking about too—if she's skilled enough to heal tenketsu then she must at least be moderately capable, no matter what that idiot in there says.”

“Of course, I thought the same…I wonder though…is it the Himeko I’m thinking of?” 

Tsunade looked up at her briefly, “You know her?”

“Possibly…and if I do, then you do too, although I doubt you remember her. You met her at a…dark time, after all.” Shizune said thoughtfully, “Anyways, I should get back in there and help them…will you be waiting back at the inn for me Tsunade-sama?”

“Sure, right. The inn.”

Shizune narrowed her eyes at the woman’s words, but couldn’t help but soften at the sight of the defeated set of her shoulders. “At least stay away from the gambling house please…”

Tsunade didn’t respond, only placed her sandaled foot on the edge of the window and fled.

 

—

 

“So…how’s Sakura?” 

Ino startled, looking over at where Shikamaru leaned against the side of the Academy. She quickly schooled her look of surprise into confusion.

“I don’t know…why would I know?” She said, narrowing her eyes at him. Her fathers warning to keep Sakura's situation quiet ringing in her mind. “We’re not talking, remember?”

“Sure.” He scoffed, turning to go. “Well, I’m taking that as she’s fine then.”

“Wha—hey! Shikamaru!” Ino huffed, stomping over to block his exit path, “I told you we’re not talking! I don’t know how she is anymore than you do.”

“Okay.” He said simply, which only infuriated Ino more. She pointed her finger at him threateningly.

“Don’t do that thing.” She said, “I hate it when you do that thing. It’s creepy.”

“What thing?” He said with a bored roll of his neck.

“You know what thing!” She groaned, before dropping her finger in defeat. Her shoulders slumped and she heaved a sigh. “Alright…how’d you figure it out this time?”

The right corner of Shikamaru’s lip curled up, “Well, first of all, your way too happy today—it’s the nicest you’ve been since you stopped talking to Sakura. And you were ignoring those two shadows that always follow you around too.”

Ino started to protest that she hadn’t been ignoring them, but then Shikamaru pointed at her shirt, “Then of course there’s the fact that there’s been a strand of pink hair caught on the zipper of your collar all day, so I'm assuming she hugged you and the hair got stuck…so therefore you must have seen her this morning, despite the fact that she hasn’t shown up to the academy for two days now, and made up.”

Ino sighed, glaring at him. “See? Creepy.”

He shrugged.

“Well, whatever, just don’t do it again. I don’t want your super brain focused on my social life.” She pouted, side eyeing him, “And why do you care anyways? I didn’t think you and Sakura were friends.”

Again he shrugged, but Ino couldn’t help but notice with interest his obvious discomfort at the question. “We’re not, really…she just makes a good cloud watching partner, that’s all.”

“You…watch clouds together?” Ino said with a slow grin. It only grew when Shikamaru blushed. “Shika! Do I smell a crush!?”

“Ugh, does everything have to be crushes with you? Girls are gross anyways.” He said, trying to pull away from her excited pawing. “It’s not a crush! She just hangs around sometimes and watches clouds with me while Naruto and Lee are off sparring!”

“But you said she was a _good_ partner!” Ino crowed in delight.

“A good _cloud_ watching partner!” Shikamaru scowled at his friend, “She’s quiet is all, unlike _someone_.”

Ino crossed her arms with a pout, “I can be quiet. And anyways—Sakura’s quiet because she literally _can’t_ talk.”

“She can talk.” He said, “With her hands anyways. That’s a lot easier to ignore than your shrieking though.”

“I do not shriek!” Ino…shrieked.

“Sure…” He rolled his eyes. “So are we leaving then?”

“What—leaving?” She said suspiciously, “Leaving where?”

“To go to the orphanage obviously.” He said with a sigh.

Ino gasped and reared back from him, “How did you—seriously, is my entire life just written on my face to you?”

“Relax.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes, “I just heard you talking to Tenten earlier after class got out.”

“Oh.” Ino said, deflating. “Well…fine. You can come. But you really need to stop it with the weird Nara stuff! I never thought I’d say this but…I actually prefer it when your too lazy to notice things like that.”

 

—

 

_ “Sakura-chan!”  _

Twin calls rang out from the orphanage’s courtyard and Sakura turned to smile at the two girls. Her eyes widened in surprise to see not only the expected Tenten and Ino, but also Shikamaru and Chouji as well.

‘You all came!’ Sakura signed excitedly, only to be interrupted by Tenten suddenly enfolding her in a bone crushing hug.

“Sakura-chan! Where did you go?” The older and taller girl said, her hug breathtaking, “I woke up and you were just gone, and no one wanted to tell me where you were! I asked the lady they sent to replace Nakamura-san, but she just said you were visiting Naruto. But then Naruto came and asked about you so I knew she was lying! I think she was lying about a lot of things actually…Sakura-chan? Why aren’t you answering?”

“Uh…Tenten, maybe you should put Sakura down? I don’t think she’s breathing.” Chouji said as he poked the girl in the back.

“Oh, sorry!” She said immediately letting go of her near choke hold on the pink haired girl. She cringed apologetically when the girl took a deep gasping breath. “I don’t know my own strength sometimes I guess…”

‘That’s okay Tenten…’ Sakura smiled at her as she gave a breathy laugh, ‘I should be the one to say sorry, for worrying you.’

Tenten shrugged, “It’s okay…I’m just glad you’re alright. And you too Naruto!”

Although it was said a bit like an afterthought, Naruto didn’t seem to mind. If anything he seemed surprised that she’d remember to worry about his well being at all. Shikamaru and Chouji both quickly added their own well wishes for both of them as well—Chouji saying he missed talking about what kind of ramen was the best with Naruto, and Shikamaru telling Sakura it was too bad that she’d missed some pretty cool cloud shapes while she was gone.

"So...I'm guessing you won't be staying?" Tenten said, "I noticed all your stuff was gone yesterday...although I didn't see anyone come in to take it."

'Oh, yeah...I'll be living with Naruto now.' Sakura signed, to which Naruto nodded with a beaming smile. 

"Wait—neither of you are coming back then?" Tenten's shoulders fell, "I was just getting used to having real friends in the orphanage...now you and Naruto and even Daisuke are gone...all I'll have is Taka, and even she said she's considering leaving the academy to become a seamstress."

Sakura felt immediately guilty. She hadn't even thought about how Tenten would feel, about how alone she would be now...she was about to say something reassuring, when Naruto beat her to the punch.

"We might be leaving but we'll still have Standard classes, y'know. And you can always join us for sparring like Lee does too!" Naruto said, giving Tenten what Sakura like to call his 'motivation' smile. "And we'll definitely visit, 'attebayo!"

"Naruto..." Tenten said looking surprised. Then she smiled and nodded sharply, "Definitely! I've been meaning to get better at taijutsu anyways."

Sakura looked over to where Shikamaru and Chouji and Ino stood and extended the invitation to them as well. They all eagerly agreed to try and come if they could, but as Ino was always bemoaning, clan training practices did come first.

“So…is no one going to say anything about that lady in the tree over there?” Shikamaru suddenly spoke up, gesturing towards the purple haired shinobi that was lounging on the branch of the large tree that marked the entrance of the orphanage.

“Oh that’s just our scary babysitter.” Naruto said with a scowl. “I guess her names Yugioh or something.”

“Yugao.” The kunoichi said with a defeated sigh. “Why do I even try.”

‘She’s here to protect us.’ Sakura signed, giving Naruto’s leg a subtle kick. ‘You won’t even notice her after awhile.’

“Why do you need protection?” Tenten asked, suddenly worried. Naruto opened his mouth to respond but Yugao broke in before he could.

“That’s confidential kid, sorry.” She said, glaring at the blond haired jinchuriki. “Now why don’t you go find that ‘scarf’ that you so desperately needed, Sakura?”

‘Right. The scarf.’ Sakura signed slowly, ‘Let’s…head inside then.’

They all headed in to the orphanage, and Sakura couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the thought she wouldn’t be sleeping here ever again. Tenten opened the door to their house for them, which was closed but not locked and they all entered except Yugao, who just hoped up onto the roof without a word. There was no one inside, as it was still too soon for the trade schools to let out, but the other kids would be here soon enough. Sakura assumed that the caregiver they'd gotten to replace Nakamura must be out somewhere.

Sakura immediately entered, looking around at the empty room with a vivid sense of deja vu. Not even two days ago she’d been in this very room, only in a memory rather than in reality. Without all the children in it, it looked much closer to Senju Mito's, or she supposed Uzumaki Mito's, room than it did an orphanage.

Behind her Naruto was getting updated on the going ons of the academy, and Sakura listened on with half an ear as Ino spouted off all the school work they’d need to get caught up on. Most of her attention was focused on the far wall, where the futons and cubbies were stored. It was where the painting of the young Mito and that man had once hung, and she could just see something peeking out from between the stacked futons…something she’d never had noticed it she weren’t looking.

Breaking from their group, Sakura walked over to the futons and curiously started pulling them down off of the cubbies and setting them aside. She could see something just behind where the futons sat, something that looked like peeling wallpaper.

“Uh—Sakura-chan, what are you doing?” Tenten called to her.

‘Help me get these futons down will you?’ Sakura signed distractedly. She hardly noticed when they moved to comply with curious looks. Once they’d gotten them all off of the wall, she could see it more clearly—there _was_ a peeling piece of wallpaper, in the shape of a rectangle, and the bottom of it disappeared below the top of the cubbies. 

“So…it’s a wall.” Naruto said, giving her a strange look. “Good old wall. Same as it’s ever been. Gonna miss this wall, huh?”

‘Isn’t it strange though?’ Sakura signed, ignoring Naruto’s sarcastic remarks. ‘That just this wall would be solid and covered with wallpaper while the rest are all shoji?’

They all looked around at the wood and washi paper walls and doors that made up the rest of the house, and Shikamaru got a considering look in his eyes. “Sometimes in clan households they’ll have walls like that to hide secret rooms.”

“Or…it could just be decorative?” Ino said with a roll of her eyes.

The rest of the kids seemed to agree with her, and even Shikamaru just shrugged, but Sakura narrowed her eyes at the piece of wallpaper, unconvinced. Then she started moving the cupboard that blocked it.

“Wait, wait—Nakamura-san may be gone but that doesn’t mean we can just move stuff around however we like!” Tenten said, trying to push the cupboard back in place nervously. Sakura only pulled at the cupboard harder. 

“Sakura-chan!” Tenten said in annoyance, pushing the cupboard back once more. It quickly devolved into a war of tug and push, escalating further and further as the rest of the group’s heads swung back and forth between them. Finally Tenten broke.

“Hey! You may not live here anymore, but I’m still older than you, and I’m still in charge of this room!”

Sakura stopped, eyes wide. Tenten’s eyes widened as well, and a low ‘oooooh’ came from behind them—likely from Naruto, who seemed to be finding the whole thing highly amusing. Sakura responded by breaking out what she’d once called Ino’s ‘secret weapon.’ The hurt puppy dog eyes.

‘Please Tenten? I just want to see—we’ll put it all back for you, I promise.’

Tenten’s stern facade stood up to about one minute of Sakura’s pleading eyes before breaking. 

“Oh…alright, alright. Let’s get this cupboard out of the way.” She groaned, she gave a pointed look towards the rest of their group to help them and they scrambled to obey. “But don’t think you can leave without putting it all back in place! We need everything exactly as it was before the caregiver gets here, got it?”

The six children made quick work of the cubby, pulling it away from the wall with their combined strength just enough so that Sakura could creep into the space it created. There was only the noise of her huffing for a moment and then, after a long silence, the sound of ripping paper.

“So? Is the wall as magical as you thought it would be?” Ino called to her, sounding rather put out. “Y’know I thought we were gonna do something fun—like doing each other’s hair or something—not moving furniture.”

“What? Hair? I thought we were gonna play tag!” Naruto said, to which Shikamaru nodded in agreement.

“I’m okay with hair stuff.” Chouji said, opening his spare bag of chips. Both of the other boys glared at him. “What? I like Ino’s barrettes. They’re pretty.”

“They’re butterflies!” Naruto said with a look of horror. “I don’t want butterflies in my hair.”

“What’s wrong with butterflies?” Chouji said, a hurt look on his face.

“Well…I mean they’re…girly.”

“They’re not girly! They eat corpses!” Chouji scowled and suddenly Shikamaru and Ino were looking at him a little nervously. Butterflies were the Akimichi’s clan crest after all, and Chouji was often very sensitive about anything to do with his clan.

Thankfully, before the conversation could escalate further, a knock to the cupboard gained their attention, and they all turned to see Sakura grinning as she reappeared. In her hands she held a carved wooden box and…two strange round things.

‘Not a secret room, but there was a secret—box—in the wall!’ She signed, stumbling over the sign for ‘alcove.' She held up the two round things, one purple and one gold, as she stuffed the small box under her arm. ‘Look what I found!’

“What are those?” Naruto said, taking the purple one from her and turning it over in his hands. “Looks creepy. Why does it only have one eye?”

“Oh! It’s a Sage doll!” Ino said in surprise. “My father has one of them in his study. They’re supposed to help you reach your goal.”

Sakura nodded, ‘My mom had one too. She drew in the second eye once she won best mochi in the summer festival.’

“Huh. I guess whoever left these here never reached _their_ goal though.” Ino said, peering over Naruto’s shoulder and pointing at the pupil less eye on each one.  “That’s kinda sad really…they’re supposed to be out in the open, y’know, to remind you of your goal everyday. But these ones were hidden away, out of sight…”

‘Yeah…’ Sakura signed with a sad look.  ‘It’s like they just gave up.’

There was a long somber silence as all five of the children looked at the abandoned dust covered Sage dolls. 

"So..." Ino finally broke the silence hesitantly. "I brought barrettes. We should do each other's hair! I've always thought Sakura would look good with your hairstyle Tenten, what do you think?"

Immediately Shikamaru and Naruto groaned, but Tenten and Sakura—and Chouji too, although he hid it behind his bag of chips—brightened visibly.

"Of course! It's the same style as the first lady of Konoha's hair, you know?" Tenten said running about to grab some extra hair ties. "She was Tsunade-sama's grandmother! I found a picture of her here in the orphanage and thought it was cute."

 

"Ugh, can we at least do this outside? Down by the pond maybe?" Naruto whined, patting his hair protectively and glaring at Ino. 

"Why, so you can run away from us?" Ino said, side eyeing him and a shifty looking Shikamaru. "It's just a hair clip, jeez! Boy's are so boring sometimes..."

 

 

—

 

Tsunade did as Shizune asked and avoided the gambling den. She didn’t want to go there anyways—there were too many memories in that place for her…not that there weren’t memories everywhere else in this damn village.

She passed a stall with hair clips, and she could see Dan standing in front of it trying to pick something out for her. She’d knock into an academy student in a rush, and she’d see Nawaki stumbling to get to his feet. She just couldn’t win in this place—even her safe space, the pub, wasn’t exempt from the memories, as she’d found out when she walked into her favorite pub just moments ago and seen Dan leaning against the bar talking her up and asking to buy her a drink.

So she’d gone to the liquor store and bought a bottle of sake. She took a swig of it from the paper bag wrapped sake as she strolled aimlessly down the streets. The sun hadn’t even set yet, and she was sure Shizune would be at the hospital late into the evening trying to help the medics save the hokage…like she should be doing.

Tsunade’s feet came to a sudden stop as the main road turned suddenly to grass and gravel. She looked up, recognizing the open gate she stood under. The red paint was old and faded, the sloped roof missing a few tiles…and the name that had once been written upon it’s top was washed away and replaced with something else.  Where once it had held her family name, it now read ‘Konoha Orphanage, Donated by the Honorable Senju Mito.’

Tsunade had no idea how she’d even ended up here—she hadn't come here in years. Not since her grandmother had died…it must have been that dream she’d had the other night that had brought her feet here. 

Feeling rather nostalgic—and tipsy enough  to not feel bitter at her grandmothers home being filled with a bunch of snot nosed kids—Tsunade wandered into the orphanage’s courtyard. She looked around at the kids milling about giving her strange looks, and only glared at the adults who recognized her and gaped openly.

Here in the courtyard there had once been a beautiful garden. Now it was just patchy grass and rocks beneath her feet. There, through the open door, it had once been her private bedroom. Now it was a primitive looking kitchen. And over there…that had been Nawaki’s room—one he’d never had the chance to use as anything but a toddler held in her mother’s arms. Now it seemed it was a storage room.

Tsunade slunk from the courtyard and out the back of the orphanage. She walked down the stepped hill, towards the pond her grandmother had loved sitting at the edge of. She could practically see her there, her twin red buns glittering in the setting sun as she threw fresh lettuce to the turtles…

Tsunade blinked rapidly. Why wasn’t the apparition leaving?

Suddenly the feel of cold steel pressed at her neck, breaking through her hazy sake induced buzz.

“You’re not an orphanage caretaker.” The bored voice said from behind her. “State your business here.”

The sannin, even drunk as she was, didn’t need to do much else but press two chakra coated fingers into the wrist holding the kunai against her neck for the woman’s hand to go slack. Immediately the woman pulled a blade from behind her back with her other hand and Tsunade sighed as she flicked the dropped kunai into a nearby tree and raised her hands up in a signal of peace.

“Who. Are you.” The woman said, suddenly much less bored sounding. Thankfully, or perhaps unfortunately, Tsunade didn’t need to introduce herself—someone else did it for her.

“Tsunade-sama?!” The voice of a child screeched with sheer unadulterated shock. The girl quickly ran up to her, as the kunoichi behind her suddenly took a very large step backwards, blade still hovering in the air despite her surprise. 

“It’s…it’s really you, isn’t it?” The bun haired girl said. When Tsunade briefly glanced down at her she would swear there were literal stars in her eyes. “You’re Senju Tsunade? _The_ Senju Tsunade. One of the three sannin?”

Tsunade took a swig of the sake she still held. “That’s me…legendary sannin here…”

The girl didn’t seem to hear the disinterest in Tsunade’s voice, immediately gasping and clapping her hands in amazement. The grumpy kunoichi who’d put a kunai to her neck was looking at her with more apprehension than the bun haired little girl, although she was thankfully keeping her distance now. 

“This is—this is amazing! I’m so honored to meet you!” The girl clapped her hands in excitement, “Oh! My name’s Tenten by the way! No last name, ‘cuz y’know, orphanage, but anyways I’m so honored to meet you! Oh, I already said that didn’t I? Sorry, I’m so nervous, I’ve heard stories about you all my life!”

The girl then started into a long spiel of why she thought Tsunade was the ‘coolest kunoichi who’d ever lived’ and Tsunade rocked back from the force of the girls hero worship. It made Tsunade itch to hear her ‘accomplishments’ thrown about, made her want to counter each accolade, each battle won, with a person who’d died under her command...but she refrained, and reminded herself this was just a kid, one who couldn't be more than nine at that. She reminded her a bit of Shizune at that age...

Tsunade looked down the hill to where the dark haired little girl had come from, seeing five other children standing there and looking at her with varying amounts of awe. She didn’t give them more than a glance...that is until the one girl caught her attention—a girl with pink hair, put up into two haphazard buns upon her head, and a bag of bread in her hands that she was using to feed the turtles in the pond. 

Her vision wavered, and for a moment she saw her grandmother there, henged into a child as she'd been in her dream, smirking at her slyly—it was like seeing two photos superimposed upon each other, and it made her dizzy. She felt as if she’d seen a ghost.

“—and that’s why it’s my dream to be an amazing kunoichi just like you, Tsunade-sama!”

Tsunade swayed backwards at the words, looking down at the awestruck girl who had spoken them, and her mind immediately reminding her of all her failures, all the people she’d let down in this very village…all the people who had been buried because of her. Why on earth would she want to be like her?

“That’s ridiculous.” She said without thinking, and immediately winced.

Instantly the girl deflated, flinching back as if struck. Of course Tsunade hadn’t intended her words to come across as they had…but what was done was done.

“Hey!” A loud voice suddenly said. “What the hell, lady? You’re the ridiculous one! I bet Tenten will become an even _better_ kunoichi than you!”

Tsunade raised a brow at the blond haired loud mouth that was suddenly looking at her murderously, something made rather ridiculous by the myriad of butterfly clips in his hair. Still, he didn’t look older than eight, and he was already swearing?

“…And you are?” She said with a scoff.

“Uzumaki Naruto! Remember it! ” He said with a scowl, “One day I’ll be hokage, ‘attebayo! Then people like you won’t ever doubt anyone’s dreams again, Tenten’s included!”

“…hokage?” Tsunade whispered, eyes suddenly seeing right through him. She knew by his name who he was—the jinchuriki of Konoha, the fourth’s son…but suddenly all she could see was Nawaki, and behind him, the ghost of Dan.

_“Nii-chan, just you watch, I’ll be hokage some day—just like Oji-san was!”_

_“You’re always trying to make other people’s dreams come true, Tsunade…but just this once, why not let someone help your’s come true? I’ll become hokage, and then I’ll have the power to make your dream come true. I’ll ensure no four man team ever goes without a medic on it’s team ever again.”_

“So you want to be hokage, hm?” She said even as Dan and Nawaki refused to fade away. She tried to ignore them, lips trembling…she couldn’t quite manage to focus on the boy in front of her.

“Both my grandfather and my granduncle were hokage, did you know?” She frowned at the surprised look on Naruto’s face. “Yes, leaders of this village…and look where it got them. Dead. Dead for an impossible dream of _peace_ …all their sacrifice and what did it get us? We’re exactly where we were when we started…”

“That’s not true…” The kid whispered, shaking his head. Tsunade eyed him in mild surprise, half convinced he would just cower and duck his head at her heavy words. Seemed like this kid had some spunk in him, to be talking back to her.

“Isn’t it? You’re too young to understand, kid…but trust me when I say you’d best get another dream…unless you want to end up like them. Dead and martyred before their time, with nothing to show for it but a village and a family that mourns them.” She gave the boy a grim smile, meeting his fierce eyes squarely, “Only a fool would want to be hokage. Only a fool would take that cursed hat.”

At her harsh words she saw the blond kid’s face turn nearly purple with rage. “I’m not a fool, Oji-san’s not a fool! They may be dead, but they live on in the us, the people of konoha—Oji-san always said so, that we are all connected in Konoha…that we’re family, and as long as we have the will of fire, then their dreams live on in us!”

Tsunade took a step back, chest suddenly aching. 

The words seemed straight out of her sensei’s mouth, and she had a sudden realization to who his ‘oji-san’ may be. She only just barely stopped herself from revealing the confidential information that said ‘oji-san’ was in the hospital right at this moment…which only proved her point. Showing off at his age…what was her teacher thinking? She could only assume he hadn’t been. She swallowed thickly, and spoke once more without thinking...something that seemed to be becoming a habit for her whenever she'd been drinking.

“Well…sounds like your Oji-san is a fool too then.” She said, and instantly Naruto bristled with anger moving as if to lunge at her.

Before he could do his best to maul her, however, the pink haired girl jumped between them and started using hand signs rapidly—both at her and the boy. Tsunade didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying, but she did frown to see one so young using that language. It was a language invented to help trained killers communicate silently, help them become even more effective at assassinating people…so it was unnerving to see the eight year old using it. It reminded her a little too much of the war, where children her age had been forced to learn it far before they should need to.

She hadn’t used Standard herself since…well, since the second shinobi war. She still remembered the time she’d spent two weeks speaking nothing but the signing language, during a mission where stealth was imperative…She assumed then that the girl was mute and had no other choice but to learn Standard, at least based on the fact that she obviously could hear everything they were saying. 

Still...it was unnerving.

“I don’t care if she is a ‘sannin’ or whatever!” Naruto shouted suddenly, trying to jump around the pink haired girl. “I’ll show her a fool! She insulted the hokage! Let me go!”

Tsunade couldn't help but laugh looking at the boy now being held back by his young friends, all of whom she assumed were his classmates. The kunoichi guard hovered uncertainly behind Tsunade, looking absolutely perplexed at the turn of events. It just made Tsunade laugh all the harder. “You’ve got guts kid, I’ll give you that. But you aren’t even a genin yet, and I’d really like to keep my buzz, so…I’ll just be going now.”

Tsunade turned to leave, giving only a passing glance at the purple haired kunoichi that was following her with her eyes closely. She didn’t blame her for her suspicion—she had been gone for the village for nearly 20 years after all…although she never had been labelled a missing-nin. 

Tsunade barely got two feet and one swig of sake before she heard a war cry from behind her.

“Honestly kid, you just don’t know when to give up do you.” Tsunade turned, hand already out to stop him. Her palm hit his forehead, keeping him at arms length as he desperately tried to hit her. The kid’s guard appeared only a second later to catch him by the arms and drag him away from her, and still he went kicking and screaming. If she hadn’t had such an utterly awful day it may have been amusing—

The smile just barely twitching at her lips died as the boys struggles caused a round object to fall from his pocket. Her eyes narrowed in on it, breath halting in her chest, sake in her hand suddenly forgotten.

“Where…did you get that.” She said, instantly sobered by the sight of the round purple Sage doll that rolled to a standing position in the grass. She turned to meet the furious eyes of the jinchuriki, who only glared back at her. 

“That Sage doll.” Tsunade spat. “Is not yours. Where did you get it?”

Naruto only scowled at her, and it was then that the little pink haired girl stepped between them with an answer. 

‘I found it.’ The girl signed at her, remarkably quickly. She reached into her own pocket and pulled a second Sage doll out, this one gold and even more familiar. ‘I found both of them, in a secret part of the wall in the orphanage.’

Tsunade took a step back to see the two dolls, memories assaulting her.

 

—

 

_“What’s this nii-chan?” Nawaki said as he took the round hollow doll from her._

_“It’s a Sage doll. Oba-chan gave me mine when I was younger, but she made one for you too before she died.” Tsunade smiled at her eight year old brother, looking down at her own Sage doll fondly, “You were just too young to have it before…she told me to give it to you when you were old enough.”_

_“That’s so cool! I've heard of these...” Nawaki said as he played with the doll, watching it roll itself back up again and again. “But why is mine a different color than yours?”_

_“Oh, well, the colors mean different things. Mine is gold for luck in financial matters—Oba-chan always said I’d need it…”_

_“Is that because you’re so bad with money?” Nawaki said with a sly look, “Mom said you’re always losing your money because you’re unlucky with the cards.”_

_Tsunade cleared her throat at Nawaki’s snickering, ignoring her brothers ribbing. “Anywaaays, yours is purple. For health and longevity.”_

_“So…should I fill in the first eye now?” He said with a bright look of excitement, and Tsunade could only nod and smile at him._

_To her surprise he didn’t take any time at all to draw the pupil in on the Sage doll, as if he’d already known the dream he would commit the doll to._

_“That was quick.” She intoned, and Nawaki nodded seriously._

_“I’ve known for awhile now, what my dream is.” He said, holding the Sage doll up to look it in the eye, and Tsunade found herself laughing as he began speaking directly to it._

_“I’m going to be hokage some day. Just wait and see—I’ll be drawing in your second eye in no time, Sage-sama!”_

 

_—_

 

“Hey...lady, you alright?"

Naruto's words snapped her out of her reverie, and Tsunade blinked rapidly at the two children before her, eyes focusing in on what was once her brothers Sage doll. The blond boy held it in his hand now, and stood besides the mute girl, obviously having calmed down after her embarrassing slip down memory lane. It seemed all she was seeing today were memories and ghosts…what were the odds that these kids would find the doll she’d just been dreaming about the night before, for this blond haired brat to have her brother’s doll—and to have gall to have the exact same dream as Nawaki had?

No. No, this was too much. This whole village was too much for her.

The thought made her throat close up, and she closed her eyes with a harsh breath.

“They’re yours aren’t they.” It was a young dark haired boy who spoke, stepping forward from his place at the back of the group. “The dolls. They’re yours.”

“Why…would you think that, kid.” Tsunade said slowly, her brows furrowed. She didn’t, however, deny the allegation.

“If you’re Senju Tsunade, then the previous owner of this place must’ve been your grandmother—the banner at the entrance to the orphanage say’s it was donated by Senju Mito after all.” He said matter a factly, “We found those dolls in a hidden alcove in the wall, covered in dust. They must’ve been there for years…it just makes sense they would be yours, especially with how you reacted.”

“…you a Nara?” Tsunade murmured with a raise of her brow. Then she shook her head and waved the question away before the kid could answer.

“Never mind—the answer is yes…they were mine, one of them anyways. Mine and my…my brother’s.”

The mute girl looked down at the doll she held in surprise, before stepping forward and offering it up to her while she awkwardly signed, ‘You should have it back then.’

“I don’t want it.” Tsunade said immediately. The very thought was anathema to her.

‘But…you haven’t reached your goal yet?’

“And I never will.” The sannin's eyes darkened. The dream she'd had when she drew that first eye in was impossible now. She no longer had any loved ones dreams to protect, and her own tentative dreams for Konoha had died with Dan. “…You should burn them.”

‘Wait—‘ The girl started to protest, but the Sannin was already turning away from her and walking towards the exit. Unfortunately the girl was not to be dissuaded, and she ran to place herself in front of Tsunade.

‘Maybe I can do it—complete your goal, I mean.’ She said, looking at her earnestly with bright green eyes. ‘If you’re too tired, maybe I can finish it for you!’

For a long moment Tsunade stared down at the girl. She couldn’t find the words to say in response to such an offer, and she feared if she opened her mouth all that would come out would be bitter sad laughter.

‘It’s like Naruto said…we’re all family in Konoha. We’re all connected…and so, maybe I can take your goal on and complete it for you.’ She continued, and Tsunade once again only stared at the her. Eventually the pink haired girl began to squirm under her unwavering gaze of disbelief.

‘Can you…not understand me?’ She signed, looking suddenly self-conscious. She looked over to the short fused jinchuuriki. ‘Naruto could you trans—‘

“Stop.” Tsunade interrupted her, voice bone weary. The girl startled at her address and Tsunade rubbed a hand harshly over her face. “That goal…that wish…it’ll never happen.”

Because her dream had always been to protect her loved ones…and help their dreams come true. Now they are all dead and buried, so how could it ever be fulfilled?

“If you want to keep the damn thing so badly, then find your own dream. Got it?” She said with a scowl, only slightly annoyed to watch the play of emotions on the girls face change from contemplation, to realization and finally...determination. The pink haired kid looked up at her and nodded resolutely. 

'I already have one.’ She signed. 

“Do you now?” Tsunade said, surprising herself with the words. The girl nodded.

‘Yes…I want to find the truth, the answers to my questions...but more than that, I want to protect my friends, protect their dreams.’ She looked around the side of Tsunade’s legs at Naruto and her small group of friends, a smile lighting up her face. ‘You were so sad when you looked at this doll…I don’t want any of them to ever look like that.’

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Tsunade said, startling the girl. The sannin looked up at the sky in disbelief. “You’ve got to be _fucking—“_

She stopped herself with a small hysterical laugh—language, she reminded herself. These were children. Unbelievable.

She swept past the idealistic girl, ignored the angry calls of the hot headed reminder of Nawaki…she left them all there and didn’t look back, head full of memories, heart heavy, and completely intent on working her liver into overtime for the rest of the evening.

 

—

 

“Jiraiya…” Tsunade greeted from her place at the table, head leaning against the window. She was looking out into the street, mind a haze but eyes eagerly watching for Shizune. Beside her lay the details of an impossible surgery, one which would fix the hokage's crushed organs, pelvis, leg, and the chakra coils circulating through it all. “I don’t believe I gave you a key to our room.”

The bear of a man sat down in front of her and she gave him a glance. His face was grim, but he held a deck of cards in his hands and a stack of ryo in the other. He placed both on the table as if it were a peace offering.

“What you said back there at the orphanage,” He frowned, “about the hokage, about this village…did you mean it?”

Tsunade’s eyes fully focused on him with a glare, “Stalking me again?”

“Well…you weren’t at the hospital, as you were supposed to be. I was concerned, of course, so I went looking for you.” He said casually, and Tsunade flinched a bit at the reminder of her failure at the hokage's bedside.

“Those kids…do you know who they are?” He said as he started shuffling a deck of cards that lay on the table. She watched his hands with hooded eyes.

“The blond kid is the nine tails container, that much was clear…he’s got quite the temper on him. Nothing like his father.” She muttered, “And the rest…bunch of orphans I’d assume…except for that one kid. I’d bet good money on him being a Nara.”

“You’re missing the big picture, Tsunade. As always.” Jiraiya dealt out their hands as he shook his head. “They’re our future. The future of Konoha. The ones who will carry of the will of—“

“Yes, yes, the 'Will of Fire,' I get the picture.” Tsunade swiped the cards from the table with a glare. “I’ve heard it all my life, but what use is that _propaganda_ when they’re out on the battle field bleeding out, hm? Nothing. It’s worth nothing. A roll of gauze is worth more than that nonsense.”

“You really have changed…” Jiraiya whispered sadly, as he stared at his cards. 

“Yes…yes, I’ve changed.” Tsunade said harshly, “And you haven’t. You’re the same optimistic idealist you always were, and just as naive too. It’s been twenty years since I left the village…twenty years since Dan died…twenty years since you left me to train a bunch of snot nosed orphans to soothe your _guilt._ Why wouldn’t I have changed?”

“I’m sorry, for leaving. I’m sorry, for not being there when Dan died.” He said, and Tsunade covered her surprise at the words by glaring at her cards. “For a long time I was blinded by my goals...so sure that nothing else mattered…but now, with sensei dying and you here, falling apart…I wonder. Did I choose wrong? Should I have stayed?” 

There was a long silence, and Tsunade’s chest hurt at how close to home his words hit. She’d thought the same so many times…during the third shinobi war especially…but in the end, she’d always stopped herself from going home. There was nothing for her in Konoha but graves and forgotten promises.

Jiraiya sighed, “You had a dream once, didn’t you? I remember it…I remember you arguing with sensei about having a medic on every four man team…you were so passionate about it…what happened to that passion, Tsunade?”

“It died long ago…with Dan.” Tsunade pushed a pile of money into the center of the table, raising the stakes.

Jiraiya called, matching her bet, and Tsunade watched his face carefully as he looks at her over his cards. “Like you said, it’s been twenty years, Tsunade…don’t you think it’s time to—“

“Don’t you dare, Jiraiya.” She interrupted him, lips thinning, “Don’t you dare tell me to ‘move on.’ There is no moving on, not from him.”

He sighed, and then laid out his hand. Four of a kind. Tsunade glared at it as she threw down her own flush. Jiraiya met her glare with a spark of amusement, but it was gone and quickly replaced with a serious, weighted, look.

“You could still do it. You could still make sure every four man team has a medic.” He said. “If nothing else, it could prevent more people from losing what you have.”

She scoffed. “And how would I do that? Even when I was a part of Konoha, with a close personal connection to the hokage no less, I couldn’t get that change enacted. ‘It’ll take too many resources,’ sensei said, ‘once the war is over,’ he said…”

Tsunade scowled down at the table, glaring at the money in the center that she’d just lost. “Well, that never happened did it?”

“Tsunade…” Jiraiya started to say, only for Tsunade to continue speaking over him. 

“Even once the war was over, when sensei had every opportunity and ‘resource,’ he never pushed to train more academy student’s as medics…because one more medic was one less soldier on the front lines. One less potential ‘power house.’” She shook her head, the old grievance sharply rearing it’s head. She hadn’t thought about her plan to push for more medics in so long…but she found once she started she couldn’t stop. 

“He never understood that a medic could be just as dangerous as any other shinobi…not even when I proved myself ten times over in the field.”

“You won’t need to prove anything to anyone.” Jiraiya said, “Not if _you_ are hokage.”

“What?” Tsunade’s jaw fell slack. “Is that some kind of bad joke?”

Jiraiya leaned across the table, and Tsunade realized from his serious expression that his suggestion was anything but a joke. “They’re deliberating right now on who will take his place—the council, the jounin commander, the ANBU representative…they all believe I’m the top contender, but we both know I’d never make a good hokage…they need you Tsunade. And I think you need them too.”

“Fuck off.” She snarled, pushing back from the table. She stared in disbelief when Jiraiya grabbed her hand to keep her from leaving.

“This is your chance. This is your _last_ chance, to make Dan and Nawaki’s dreams come true.” Jiraiya said, freezing Tsunade in place. Once he was sure he had her attention, he continued.

“They both dreamed of being hokage, yes, but only because they wanted to make this village a better place, a better Konoha…you could do that for them. Their dreams could live on through you, and you could fulfill them—just like those kids said. You may not believe in the will of fire, but they obviously have it, don't they?”

_“They may be dead, but they live on in the us, the people of Konoha—Oji-san always said so, that we are all connected in Konoha…that we’re family, and as long as we have the will of fire, then their dreams live on in us!”_

_‘…we’re all family, in Konoha. We’re all connected…and so, maybe I can take your goal on and complete it for you.’_

She could see those two kids, both of them so young, but so full of determination to meet their goals, to make their dreams come true…dreams that had mirrored those of hers and her brothers unnervingly closely. So closely that she'd felt the need to run away _—_ her, a sannin, running away from a bunch of kids...

Tsunade leaned back away from her old teammate, but didn’t pull her hand away. She could feel it shaking within his grip, but she couldn’t decide exactly why. Her emotions were a turbulent mess within her…the most prominent one being fear.

“Only a fool would want to be hokage.” She said numbly, for the second time that day. “And it would take an even bigger fool to want _me_ to be hokage.”

“No. Not if you save sensei—then no one would question you taking the hat.” Her old teammate said matter of factly. Tsunade looked at him like he was crazy.

“I can’t. I _can’t_ Jiraiya.” She said, her voice breaking, “Don’t you think I would if I could?”

For a long moment their eyes held each others, and then Jiraiya slowly flattened his hand on top of hers. Tsunade looked down at the table in confusion, trying to pull her hand away now that he wasn’t holding it, but he only pressed her hand more firmly into the wood. She felt strangely reluctant to pull away entirely from the contact, and so didn’t bother using chakra to force the issue.

“You can.” Jiraiya said softly, while Tsunade shook her head. “You just need to stop running…you just need someone to _keep_ you from running.”

Jiraiya locked eyes with her, as he whispered, “Sorry about this Tsunade…but sometimes you need someone to kick you in that gorgeous backside of yours.” 

And then, before she could even process what he had to be sorry for, Jiraiya had pulled out a kunai from his waist and stabbed it down through both of their hands and into the table. Blood spurted across her face, pain splintered up her arm.

Tsunade gasped, fear and adrenaline displacing the effects of the alcohol running through her system. Then, at the sight of the gushing blood, Tsunade swayed in her seat. The dizziness came suddenly, the shortness of breath, and the feeling of her blood freezing in her veins…she could hardly feel the pain of the wound anymore, so focused was she on the blood itself.

“…eal it, Tsunade.” Jiraiya’s voice came as if from a distant shore, and Tsunade blinked in a desperate bid to focus. “You need to heal it. Heal it or we’ll both just sit here until we bleed out. And wouldn’t that be a way for two of the legendary sannin to go, hm? I’m sure Orochimaru would find it hilarious.” 

Tsunade jerked her head in a desperate denial, but Jiraiya only grasped her free hand with his own and placed it over their impaled ones.

“Heal it.” He said, voice strong and eyes steely, “Tsunade, I’ve failed so many times throughout my life…I failed myself, by doing things during the war that I hated myself for. I failed you, by not being there to keep you from losing faith in Konoha. I failed to keep Orochimaru from leaving. I failed to bring him back. I failed to save Minato.”

His hand gripped her wrist tighter. Tsunade tried to look away from the bloody mess their hands had become to see his expression, but she couldn’t seem to force her eyes away from it.

“Tsunade…I failed so many times. But you know what? I always got back up. I always kept going, because that’s the truest essence of what a shinobi is. We never give up.” He growled, “Don’t give up, Tsunade. You’ve always believed in others so whole heartedly…you believed in Nawaki, you believed in Dan, you even believed in me once…but you never really believed in yourself, did you?”

The blood pooled on the table, slowly edging it’s way outwards from the center of the table. In the background Tsunade could hear Dan’s death gasps, she could see his chest lying below her hands as she desperately tried to stop him from bleeding out. But, over it all, her friends voice broke through.

“I believe in you.” He said, and her hand twitched green briefly, “I believe you will heal both of us right here and now, that tomorrow you will heal sensei…and I believe the day after that you will accept the hat, and become the best hokage this village has ever seen. I believe you could do it all...if you would only believe in yourself first _.”_

Tsunade flinched as the blood dripped from the side of the table and into her lap. The papers detailing the surgery were soaked through. Her limbs were shaking, her mind frantic and full with echoes of the past. Could she? Could she really do as he said? It was a tiny burst of light in her chest, like a seed sprouting...one she'd been desperately trying to keep from peaking out of the dirt, ever since she'd met those two kids and had the rug ripped out from beneath her.

Two pairs of eyes appeared sharply in her mind, green and blue. She could see them, see the dreams of the dead become alive once more…living on through them. Gone, but not forgotten, not _wasted_.

"You can do it. You can finish this."

With a gasping breath, like she’d surfaced from some deep pool of water, Tsunade felt her blood rush through her veins once more. Her free hand spasmed, and then griped the kunai impairing their hands together.

With a harsh cry, she pulled it free, and Jiraiya grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: alternate quote for this chapter was going to be: 
> 
> "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." 
> 
> It's from Dune, but I figured it was too long to put at the beginning of the chapter. Anyways, I'd love to know what you thought of Tsunade's very bad no good terrible day :)
> 
> One other thing: the 'Sage doll' is actually based on the real life 'Daruma doll' with the same purpose and look, although the Sage doll's face looks represents the Sage of six paths rather than a buddhist monk. Look it up for a visual if you want :)


End file.
